Sheriff Of Catmerica

I have a question for the debaters.

A cat is sleeping peacefully on the bed and all of a sudden the bedroom
is invaded by humans and they start chasing the cat around. Then they
take the cat to the metalmonster and take him to TED for no reason.
The cat complains to the Catmerica Police Department. What does the
sheriff do about it?

Nathan

I beet up hoomins.

Lovable Louise

A question for the debaters.

The cat wants attention now and the human is sitting at the computer.
The cat gets up and walks back and forth between the monitor and the
human and starts washing the human's hand. The human makes the cat get
on the floor. What should be done about that?

Clarence

I beet up hoomin.

Lovable Louise

Ne1 not vote 4 me, I beet dem up.

"Lovable Louise"


Hey Louise, why do you want to beat up cats? The Sheriff of Catmerica
is supposed to help cats when their humans misbehave!

Chester, Clarence and Nathan

Ne1 not vote 4 me, I beet dem up.

Lovable Louise

Louise is mean. Maybe her human took her to a Ted and made her mean!
I'm sure she was born a loving Pussycat.

Cinder

Ne1 sez I not loving, I beet dem up.

Lovable Louise

Mme. Anaïs ^..^ wrote:
I haff a kwestion fur da debaterz:

Whut ifn yur hooman decides to pick you up and smurgle you against
yur will, cawlin yu dum stuff like "ookie wookie poo" an kissing you
on yur hed when all dat you wants to do iz akt like a dignified cat
and rest?

Iz dat illegal in Catamerika?

I beet up hoomin.

Lovable Louise

I run 4 sheriff!

Louise

I challenge you to a debate!

Wait a second, what's a debate?

Cousin Rosco P. Catrane, Age 1
Junior Tabby In Residence
Future Sheriff of Catmerica (Hopefully)

Accept. Start debate now.

Louise

I have a question. What does the sheriff do if a cat complains
that
the human refuses to feed him enough?

Chester

The sheriff immediately teleports to the starving cat's residence
to interrogate the human. If the results are unsatisfactory, the
offending human is sent to Shady Breezes for a "rehabilitation."
The starving cat gets to come with their human, if they'd like,
and help in the "rehabilitation."

Cousin Rosco P. Catrane, Age 1
Junior Tabby In Residence

I run 4 sheriff!

Louise

I challenge you to a debate!

Wait a second, what's a debate?

Cousin Rosco P. Catrane, Age 1
Junior Tabby In Residence
Future Sheriff of Catmerica (Hopefully)

Accept. Start debate now.

Louise

I have a question for the debaters.

A cat is sleeping peacefully on the bed and all of a sudden the
bedroom
is invaded by humans and they start chasing the cat around.
Then they
take the cat to the metalmonster and take him to TED for no
reason.
The cat complains to the Catmerica Police Department. What
does the
sheriff do about it?

Taking a kitty to TED without kitty permission is a serious
offense. The sheriff, or one of their deputies, teleports over
to interrogate the offending human, and if necessary, brings the
human before the Chief Justicat for arraignment. The Chief
Justicat then decides whether the offending human gets any one of
several different punishments -- it really depends on the Chief
Justicat's mood.

Cousin Rosco P. Catrane, Age 1
Junior Tabby In Residence

I run 4 sheriff!

Louise

I challenge you to a debate!

Wait a second, what's a debate?

Cousin Rosco P. Catrane, Age 1
Junior Tabby In Residence
Future Sheriff of Catmerica (Hopefully)

Accept. Start debate now.

Louise

A question for the debaters.

The cat wants attention now and the human is sitting at the
computer.
The cat gets up and walks back and forth between the monitor
and the
human and starts washing the human's hand. The human makes the
cat get
on the floor. What should be done about that?

I want to answer that! - Lilith Kitten-Mahoney

No, Lilith, you can't! You're not running for sheriff!

However, my cousin-cat Lilith Kitten-Mahoney does have the
perfect solution for humans who use notebook computers. Simply
lean on, or sit on, the on/off switch until the computer dies.
The human will get up in disgust, and the cat will have the human
all to themselves for a smurgle!

Cousin Rosco P. Catrane, Age 1
Junior Tabby In Residence

Accept. Start debate now.

Louise

I haff a kwestion fur da debaterz:

Whut ifn yur hooman decides to pick you up and smurgle you
against
yur will, cawlin yu dum stuff like "ookie wookie poo" an
kissing you
on yur hed when all dat you wants to do iz akt like a dignified
cat
and rest?

Iz dat illegal in Catamerika?
--
Purrs,

Mme. Anaïs

That's a furry good question, Mme. Anais. I am a rather squirmy
cat and do not like to be held, so kitties, follow my example.
Yelp and howl for your life. Then start squirming and doing
backflips in the human's arms, and try to jump out. If all else
fails -- and only if all else fails -- out come the claws and
teeth, know what I mean? ;-)

Cousin Rosco P. Catrane, Age 1
Junior Tabby In Residence

iz diz juzta recatorical quexkin or shuuld i tend to yourown hooman? Tiger,
lookin atta hiz wifekittyz hooman suskiushuly
Mme. Anaïs ^..^ wrote in message
...
On Wed, 21 Jun 2006 21:23:45 -0400, Adam's nimble, little paws typed:

Accept. Start debate now.

Louise

I haff a kwestion fur da debaterz:

Whut ifn yur hooman decides to pick you up and smurgle you against
yur will, cawlin yu dum stuff like "ookie wookie poo" an kissing you
on yur hed when all dat you wants to do iz akt like a dignified cat
and rest?

Iz dat illegal in Catamerika?
--
Purrs,

Mme. Anaïs
7/4/2006 11:48:59 AM
anais_737+at+verizon+dot+net