I Could Use Some Purrs (OT)

With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent, I
feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. My mother left me her house. I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a fit.
He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house therefore I
"get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. So for a while I
acquiesed. I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs depicting
the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. He practically
promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde chick to come in
and give them to them. Oh, and he also told a bartender he got friendly
with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop where she works at
during the day. How nice of you to keep giving things away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for about
$120,000. I have no idea what planet he lives on. You can't buy a house
for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc, taking
the estate through probate. There's tons of stuff to be done and I'm doing
it all by myself. All he did was show up for the funeral and then start
giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris Island
(Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see if they
might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history, for their
museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him and email saying they
were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit. He called the lawyer
and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property belonging to the
estate "without permission". Um, excuse me, it was your friggin idea. And
Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his military stuff anyway; my
brothers showed absolutely no interest in what he did. Me, I asked him
questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said screw
this. Enough is enough. I'm keeping the house. Mom wanted me to have it.
I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help her, first
with my father and then simply to take care of her. I'm the one who made
sure the bills were paid. I'm the one who found her a doctor who would make
house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the house to work
with her. I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so she could be
bathed, her hair washed, etc. I arranged her funeral. I'm the one who has
done all the work. And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit. He
called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He claims
she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he wants
to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my mother was
perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear about what
she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South Carolina law) was
legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the money.
So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant child who
didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all settled.
Thanks, folks

Jill

On Dec 19, 7:27*pm, "jmcquown" wrote:
With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent, I
feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. *The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. *My mother left me her house. *I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. *Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a fit.
He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house therefore I
"get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. *So for a while I
acquiesed. *I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs depicting
the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. *He practically
promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde chick to come in
and give them to them. *Oh, and he also told a bartender he got friendly
with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop where she works at
during the day. *How nice of you to keep giving things away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for about
$120,000. *I have no idea what planet he lives on. *You can't buy a house
for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. *Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. *So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc, taking
the estate through probate. *There's tons of stuff to be done and I'm doing
it all by myself. *All he did was show up for the funeral and then start
giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris Island
(Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see if they
might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history, for their
museum. *I did donate that stuff to them. *I sent him and email saying they
were thrilled with the donation. *He pitched a fit. *He called the lawyer
and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property belonging to the
estate "without permission". *Um, excuse me, it was your friggin idea. *And
Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his military stuff anyway; my
brothers showed absolutely no interest in what he did. *Me, I asked him
questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said screw
this. *Enough is enough. *I'm keeping the house. *Mom wanted me to have it.
I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help her, first
with my father and then simply to take care of her. *I'm the one who made
sure the bills were paid. *I'm the one who found her a doctor who would make
house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the house to work
with her. *I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so she could be
bathed, her hair washed, etc. *I arranged her funeral. *I'm the one who has
done all the work. *And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. *Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. *What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. *And once again he pitched a fit. *He
called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. *He claims
she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. *He said my brother is nuts, if he wants
to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. *But my mother was
perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear about what
she wanted done with the estate. *The house (per South Carolina law) was
legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. *There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. *And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the money.
So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant child who
didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. *I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all settled.
Thanks, folks

Jill

Oh Jill, this comes as no surprise and I feel for you. No matter how
much you give him, he will never be happy. Keep the house because
your mother wanted you to have it. She was a wise woman and wanted
you looked after. And you earned it, and are earning it right now.
Even if you give your brother everything he wants, he'll still squawk
for years. So you might as well give him something to squawk about.

Purrs for your nerves, and do what YOU want and feel is right so
you'll live with a clear conscience.
Bobble

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent,
I feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. My mother left me her house. I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a
fit. He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house
therefore I "get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. So
for a while I acquiesed. I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split
the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs
depicting the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. He
practically promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde
chick to come in and give them to them. Oh, and he also told a bartender
he got friendly with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop
where she works at during the day. How nice of you to keep giving things
away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for
about $120,000. I have no idea what planet he lives on. You can't buy a
house for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc,
taking the estate through probate. There's tons of stuff to be done and
I'm doing it all by myself. All he did was show up for the funeral and
then start giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris
Island (Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see
if they might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history,
for their museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him and email
saying they were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit. He called
the lawyer and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property
belonging to the estate "without permission". Um, excuse me, it was your
friggin idea. And Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his
military stuff anyway; my brothers showed absolutely no interest in what
he did. Me, I asked him questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said
screw this. Enough is enough. I'm keeping the house. Mom wanted me to
have it. I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help
her, first with my father and then simply to take care of her. I'm the
one who made sure the bills were paid. I'm the one who found her a doctor
who would make house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the
house to work with her. I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so
she could be bathed, her hair washed, etc. I arranged her funeral. I'm
the one who has done all the work. And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit.
He called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He
claims she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he
wants to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my
mother was perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear
about what she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South Carolina
law) was legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the
money. So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant
child who didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all
settled. Thanks, folks

Jill

Easier said than done, but don't let your brothers get to you, and listen to
that lawyer of yours. I remember when the sh** hit the fan when my maternal
grandmother died. She left vitrually all of her small estate to my mother,
and very little to her other daughter, my aunt. Yes, she was making a
statement, and my aunt went batsh**. And my mother felt bad for her. But
my grandma was a woman who got very little of what she wanted out of her
life. She had a hard life and she deserved better. The least she deserved
was to do with her estate as she saw fit, and as was legally her right to
do. You are still in early stages of mourning for your mom, and the last
thing you need is this. We are purring and praying for you to stay strong
and calm.


--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

sending purrs for you Jill

Jill you want me to pay your brother a visit there are some hungry gators
down here in Florida no evidence will be left ;-)


"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent,
I feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. My mother left me her house. I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a
fit. He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house
therefore I "get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. So
for a while I acquiesed. I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split
the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs
depicting the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. He
practically promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde
chick to come in and give them to them. Oh, and he also told a bartender
he got friendly with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop
where she works at during the day. How nice of you to keep giving things
away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for
about $120,000. I have no idea what planet he lives on. You can't buy a
house for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc,
taking the estate through probate. There's tons of stuff to be done and
I'm doing it all by myself. All he did was show up for the funeral and
then start giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris
Island (Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see
if they might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history,
for their museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him and email
saying they were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit. He called
the lawyer and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property
belonging to the estate "without permission". Um, excuse me, it was your
friggin idea. And Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his
military stuff anyway; my brothers showed absolutely no interest in what
he did. Me, I asked him questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said
screw this. Enough is enough. I'm keeping the house. Mom wanted me to
have it. I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help
her, first with my father and then simply to take care of her. I'm the
one who made sure the bills were paid. I'm the one who found her a doctor
who would make house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the
house to work with her. I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so
she could be bathed, her hair washed, etc. I arranged her funeral. I'm
the one who has done all the work. And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit.
He called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He
claims she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he
wants to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my
mother was perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear
about what she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South Carolina
law) was legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the
money. So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant
child who didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all
settled. Thanks, folks

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent,
I feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. My mother left me her house. I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a
fit. He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house
therefore I "get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. So
for a while I acquiesed. I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split
the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs
depicting the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. He
practically promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde
chick to come in and give them to them. Oh, and he also told a bartender
he got friendly with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop
where she works at during the day. How nice of you to keep giving things
away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for
about $120,000. I have no idea what planet he lives on. You can't buy a
house for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc,
taking the estate through probate. There's tons of stuff to be done and
I'm doing it all by myself. All he did was show up for the funeral and
then start giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris
Island (Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see
if they might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history,
for their museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him and email
saying they were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit. He called
the lawyer and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property
belonging to the estate "without permission". Um, excuse me, it was your
friggin idea. And Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his
military stuff anyway; my brothers showed absolutely no interest in what
he did. Me, I asked him questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said
screw this. Enough is enough. I'm keeping the house. Mom wanted me to
have it. I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help
her, first with my father and then simply to take care of her. I'm the
one who made sure the bills were paid. I'm the one who found her a doctor
who would make house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the
house to work with her. I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so
she could be bathed, her hair washed, etc. I arranged her funeral. I'm
the one who has done all the work. And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit.
He called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He
claims she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he
wants to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my
mother was perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear
about what she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South Carolina
law) was legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the
money. So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant
child who didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all
settled. Thanks, folks

Jill

Purrs for your nerves. I'd send purrs for your brother to stop acting like
a jerk, but I doubt if they'd do any good.

(((((((((Jill)))))))))

You do deserve the house, but even if you hadn't done all those things, your
mother wanted you to have it, and that's what counts. I'm glad you aren't
going to sell it - unless or until you decide you want to.

Joy

Jill, keep the lawyer to help you out. Stay in the house, it's yours after
all. And don't mind your brother. But KEEP the lawyer for any other
shenanigans he tries to pull.
God bless you, and I hope everything works out for you in the best possible
way. Don't feel guilty about anything, that's the way your brother is trying
to make you feel so you give in to his wishes.

Lily & her mama


"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent,
I feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. My mother left me her house. I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a
fit. He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house
therefore I "get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. So
for a while I acquiesed. I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split
the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs
depicting the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. He
practically promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde
chick to come in and give them to them. Oh, and he also told a bartender
he got friendly with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop
where she works at during the day. How nice of you to keep giving things
away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for
about $120,000. I have no idea what planet he lives on. You can't buy a
house for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc,
taking the estate through probate. There's tons of stuff to be done and
I'm doing it all by myself. All he did was show up for the funeral and
then start giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris
Island (Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see
if they might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history,
for their museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him and email
saying they were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit. He called
the lawyer and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property
belonging to the estate "without permission". Um, excuse me, it was your
friggin idea. And Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his
military stuff anyway; my brothers showed absolutely no interest in what
he did. Me, I asked him questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said
screw this. Enough is enough. I'm keeping the house. Mom wanted me to
have it. I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help
her, first with my father and then simply to take care of her. I'm the
one who made sure the bills were paid. I'm the one who found her a doctor
who would make house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the
house to work with her. I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so
she could be bathed, her hair washed, etc. I arranged her funeral. I'm
the one who has done all the work. And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit.
He called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He
claims she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he
wants to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my
mother was perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear
about what she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South Carolina
law) was legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the
money. So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant
child who didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all
settled. Thanks, folks

Jill



--
Irulan
from the stars we come
to the stars we return
from now until the end of time.

jmcquown wrote:
When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris
Island (Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see
if they might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps
history, for their museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him
and email saying they were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a
fit. He called the lawyer and left them a message saying I'm disposing
of property belonging to the estate "without permission".

Jill, I'm not an attorney, but if YOU are the executor of the Estate,
don't you have the right to dispose of anything that is not specifically
bequeathed to a particular person or organization? You don't NEED
anyone's permission! I think if I were you, I'd stop trying to keep my
siblings happy (which is apparently an impossible task, anyway) and get
on with the job of "administering".


So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit.
He called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He
claims she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he
wants to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my
mother was perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly
clear about what she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South
Carolina law) was legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

Gee, I thought my larcenous niece was a piece of work - apparently other
people have family members who should have been drowned at birth like
unwanted kittens, too! Hang in there Jill - it sounds like you are
legally in the right, so don't give in "just to keep the peace". Guys
like your brother don't DESERVE any consideration!

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message
...


jmcquown wrote:
When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris
Island (Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see
if they might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps
history, for their museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him
and email saying they were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit.
He called the lawyer and left them a message saying I'm disposing of
property belonging to the estate "without permission".

Jill, I'm not an attorney, but if YOU are the executor of the Estate,
don't you have the right to dispose of anything that is not specifically
bequeathed to a particular person or organization? You don't NEED
anyone's permission! I think if I were you, I'd stop trying to keep my
siblings happy (which is apparently an impossible task, anyway) and get on
with the job of "administering".



No, I think that is incorrect, although there is some variation in laws in
different states. I was executrix of my mother's estate. She had very
little (unlike what Jill described), and we did not need to go through
probate. However, a will that involves real property or sizable assets
usually has to go through probate. I had to go to the bank and get specific
authorization for every check I wrote, even to pay for ambulances and other
medical costs incurred while Mother was alive. Normally, *nothing* is to be
disposed of until the court signs off after probate. I was very fortunate
in that my brother and sister supported me in everything I did and did not
question anything. Both even told me that they thought I should keep extra
for myself because of all the extra work I did. I agreed to keep an extra
$500, but it was worth far more than that to know that they *wanted* me to
have something extra and were grateful for what I had done.

MaryL

Jill, it is what is in the will that counts. I had step kids that gave me a
fit when Bob died. If I had given them what they wanted, I would have no
home or anything.

The way our lawyer put an end to it was to draw up a bill for the caregiving
I did and, told them when they paid that then we would settle.

Even as his wife, I was not OBLIGATED, as you were not, to do what I did.

Hang in there and enjoy what your Mother left you. I know it will be
stressful but your lawyer sounds like someone who can help. Purrs and
prayers for your nerves.
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent,
I feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. My mother left me her house. I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a
fit. He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house
therefore I "get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. So
for a while I acquiesed. I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split
the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs
depicting the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. He
practically promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde
chick to come in and give them to them. Oh, and he also told a bartender
he got friendly with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop
where she works at during the day. How nice of you to keep giving things
away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for
about $120,000. I have no idea what planet he lives on. You can't buy a
house for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc,
taking the estate through probate. There's tons of stuff to be done and
I'm doing it all by myself. All he did was show up for the funeral and
then start giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris
Island (Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see
if they might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history,
for their museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him and email
saying they were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit. He called
the lawyer and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property
belonging to the estate "without permission". Um, excuse me, it was your
friggin idea. And Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his
military stuff anyway; my brothers showed absolutely no interest in what
he did. Me, I asked him questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said
screw this. Enough is enough. I'm keeping the house. Mom wanted me to
have it. I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help
her, first with my father and then simply to take care of her. I'm the
one who made sure the bills were paid. I'm the one who found her a doctor
who would make house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the
house to work with her. I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so
she could be bathed, her hair washed, etc. I arranged her funeral. I'm
the one who has done all the work. And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit.
He called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He
claims she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he
wants to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my
mother was perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear
about what she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South Carolina
law) was legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the
money. So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant
child who didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all
settled. Thanks, folks

Jill

Purrs coming.

On Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:27:51 -0500, "jmcquown"
wrote:

With everything else going on, like a dear friend whose death is imminent, I
feel rather selfish asking for purrs for myself. The purrs are for my
nerves.

Here's the deal. My mother left me her house. I've been unemployed for
quite some time and she was concerned about me winding up living on the
street. Well, when my middle brother found out about that he pitched a fit.
He kept going on and on about how unfair it was, I get the house therefore I
"get" more of the estate than he and my oldest brother. So for a while I
acquiesed. I said fine, I'll sell the house and we'll split the proceeds.

But then he told me I should give away the framed leather cut-outs depicting
the Thai legend of Lightning to that Thai restaurant. He practically
promised them to this place, told them to expect a blonde chick to come in
and give them to them. Oh, and he also told a bartender he got friendly
with at the hotel I'd give some tea cups to the tea shop where she works at
during the day. How nice of you to keep giving things away like that!

Then he kept saying I could buy a house outright, back in Memphis for about
$120,000. I have no idea what planet he lives on. You can't buy a house
for that little money and have any expectation of living in a safe
neighborhood. Not that Memphis is exactly safe to begin with... you don't
leave your car doors unlocked, that's for sure.

I should mention I'm the executor of the estate. So I've been doing all
this paperwork, dealing with accounts, tracking down insurance, etc, taking
the estate through probate. There's tons of stuff to be done and I'm doing
it all by myself. All he did was show up for the funeral and then start
giving me a hard time about stuff.

When they were here for the funeral he suggested I contact the Parris Island
(Marine Corps Recruiting Station) where my father retired, to see if they
might like his dress blues, some books about Marine Corps history, for their
museum. I did donate that stuff to them. I sent him and email saying they
were thrilled with the donation. He pitched a fit. He called the lawyer
and left them a message saying I'm disposing of property belonging to the
estate "without permission". Um, excuse me, it was your friggin idea. And
Dad always said he wanted me to have all of his military stuff anyway; my
brothers showed absolutely no interest in what he did. Me, I asked him
questions about it.

When I found out he'd called the lawyer about this petty crap after trying
to get me to give stuff to some bartender and a Thai restaurant I said screw
this. Enough is enough. I'm keeping the house. Mom wanted me to have it.
I gave up the last 14 months of my life to come here and help her, first
with my father and then simply to take care of her. I'm the one who made
sure the bills were paid. I'm the one who found her a doctor who would make
house calls, nurses and physical therapists who came to the house to work
with her. I'm the one who found caregivers to come in so she could be
bathed, her hair washed, etc. I arranged her funeral. I'm the one who has
done all the work. And who continues to do all the work.

My brother thinks because I'm unemployed it was a breeze for me to pick up
and come 700+ miles away from the place I've lived since 1973. Away from
everyone and everything I'm familiar with. What he doesn't get is if I'd
been I'd been working I'd have quit my job and dropped everything in a
heartbeat the moment Mom said "I need your help."

So I told them I'm keeping the house. And once again he pitched a fit. He
called, said he's going to hire a lawyer and contest the Will. He claims
she wasn't in her right mind when she had it drawn up.

I've been talking with her lawyer. He said my brother is nuts, if he wants
to drag this thing through the courts he's welcome to. But my mother was
perfectly sane when he met with her and she was perfectly clear about what
she wanted done with the estate. The house (per South Carolina law) was
legally mine on 11/22, the moment she died.

The lawyer said he'd call and set my brother straight. There's nothing he
can do about it and I'm under no legal obligation to sell the house. And
even if I do sell it, I'm under no obligation to give him any of the money.
So cut it out and start acting like an adult instead of a petulant child who
didn't get his way.

Anyway, I could stand some purrs for my nerves. I'm already not sleeping
well and I have a feeling I won't be getting any until this is all settled.
Thanks, folks

Jill