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  #41  
Old August 7th 07, 05:13 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Rhonda[_3_]
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Posts: 168
Default stupid stupid people

cybercat wrote:
"Rhonda" wrote in message
...

bookie wrote:

On 3 Aug, 13:46, Lynne wrote:


on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:53:23 GMT, Charlie Wilkes

wrote:


Bookie was addressing Lynne, but Lynne supposedly has killfiled Bookie,
so I bumped the post.

Well don't bother. I have her kill-filed for a reason, and I'm not
inclined to read her blather even when quoted.
--
Lynne

thats really quite pathetic and puerile of you then, typical yank
ignorance; I don't like what I hear so I am just going to out my hands
over my ears and refuse to listen especially when other peolpe have a
different opinion to me about something


Bookie,

I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why you
are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you come off
as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for the person
you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get even more
mad when people choose to stop listening.

I think this is fair. I've never given a crap who killfiles me, and I am
frequently abrasive and judgmental. It's part of my therapy.


Hmmmm, have a seat over there and tell us more...

Maybe we could save you a co-pay?

Rhonda

  #42  
Old August 7th 07, 05:18 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Rhonda[_3_]
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Posts: 168
Default stupid stupid people

Charlie Wilkes wrote:
On Mon, 06 Aug 2007 05:52:07 +0000, Rhonda wrote:

bookie wrote:

On 3 Aug, 13:46, Lynne wrote:

on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:53:23 GMT, Charlie Wilkes

wrote:

Bookie was addressing Lynne, but Lynne supposedly has killfiled
Bookie, so I bumped the post.

Well don't bother. I have her kill-filed for a reason, and I'm not
inclined to read her blather even when quoted. --
Lynne

thats really quite pathetic and puerile of you then, typical yank
ignorance; I don't like what I hear so I am just going to out my hands
over my ears and refuse to listen especially when other peolpe have a
different opinion to me about something


Bookie,

I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why
you are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you
come off as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for
the person you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get
even more mad when people choose to stop listening.

Rhonda



Hmmm. It's true that Bookie tosses out some flame bait, with her
comments about Americans, fat people, putting a burning tire around
someone's neck, etc. etc. But so what??? Most of what she posts is
about her cats or her comments about other people's cat issues. If
people find it necessary to censor their own newsfeed because they can't
tolerate her jibes, that's their business, but, as she says above, it is
puerile. And it is doubly puerile because they always find it necessary
to make a public announcement about it.


So you think the judgmental comments she tosses out about groups of
people (Americans, children, etc.) are flame bait? I was thinking it was
more genuine anger -- maybe misdirected, but still coming from somewhere.

The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It
doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always
thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind.

Rhonda

  #43  
Old August 7th 07, 05:23 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Rhonda[_3_]
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Posts: 168
Default stupid stupid people

bookie wrote:
On 6 Aug, 06:52, Rhonda wrote:

bookie wrote:

On 3 Aug, 13:46, Lynne wrote:


on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:53:23 GMT, Charlie Wilkes

wrote:

Bookie was addressing Lynne, but Lynne supposedly has killfiled Bookie,
so I bumped the post.

Well don't bother. I have her kill-filed for a reason, and I'm not
inclined to read her blather even when quoted.
--
Lynne

thats really quite pathetic and puerile of you then, typical yank
ignorance; I don't like what I hear so I am just going to out my hands
over my ears and refuse to listen especially when other peolpe have a
different opinion to me about something


Bookie,

I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why
you are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you
come off as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for
the person you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get
even more mad when people choose to stop listening.

Rhonda- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -



and cybercat is not 'abrasive'? there are some people who post here
regularly who are much worse than me inthe way they present their
points of view, and I don;t killfile them i jsut see through the tone
and the way they have written their replies and go direct to the facts
or argument they are trying to make, i don't need stuff to be sugar-
coated for me to read it (in fact i don't think anyone has ever sugar
coated anything for me in my entire life, maybe that is what has made
me the way I am).

anyway, kill file me, then you lose out, simple


Bookie, the point was not to do any comparisons about who is abrasive or
not. What I was trying to say is that don't be surprised and even more
angered when you get killfiled. It seems like you really try to push
buttons and toss out insults when that happens.

Rhonda

  #44  
Old August 7th 07, 05:25 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Rhonda[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 168
Default stupid stupid people

Lynne wrote:
on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 05:52:07 GMT, Rhonda
wrote:

I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why
you are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you
come off as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for
the person you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get
even more mad when people choose to stop listening.


It's not even just the abrasiveness, really, it's the huge steaming piles
of crap she writes. I have no time for that.



What, no time for steaming piles of crap? You must be REALLY busy.

Rhonda


  #45  
Old August 7th 07, 05:52 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Rhonda[_3_]
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Posts: 168
Default stupid stupid people

bookie wrote:

never heard of the cathartic effect? talking cure?



I had to look that up! Google has a search for scholarly articles now.
Here's what I found for cathartic effect:

"In general, empirical findings have been inconsistent with the
catharsis hypothesis (see reviews by Geen & Quanty, 1977, and Warren &
Kurlycheck, 1981). Tavris (1988) concluded that "it is time to put a
bullet, once and for all, through heart of the catharsis hypothesis. The
belief that observing violence (or 'ventilating it') gets rid of
hostilities has virtually never been supported by research" (p. 194).
Because activities considered to be cathartic also are aggressive, they
could lead to the activation of other aggressive thoughts, emotions, and
behavioral tendencies which in turn could lead to greater anger and
aggression (Berkowitz, 1984; Tice & Baumeister, 1993)."

http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp763367.pdf


Rhonda

  #46  
Old August 7th 07, 06:53 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Charlie Wilkes
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Posts: 410
Default stupid stupid people

On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:18:54 +0000, Rhonda wrote:

So you think the judgmental comments she tosses out about groups of
people (Americans, children, etc.) are flame bait? I was thinking it was
more genuine anger -- maybe misdirected, but still coming from
somewhere.


She may be genuinely frustrated with certain aspects of her life, but her
comments about fat people and Americans are calculated to get a rise out
of people.


The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It
doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always
thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind.


Yes, in fact that is what they are saying -- "shut up because I'm not
listening." It's a feeble attempt to exert control over someone else.

There just isn't that much volume in this group. Nor does any one person
account for a disproportionate share of the volume. Filters are
overkill... all people have to do is ignore whatever posts they don't
want to read. But that doesn't send a message to whoever it is that
annoys them, does it?

Charlie




  #47  
Old August 7th 07, 08:56 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Meghan Noecker
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Posts: 136
Default stupid stupid people

On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:18:54 GMT, Rhonda
wrote:


The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It
doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always
thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind.



I always figured it was to get attention (any person, any group -
making the announcement to kill-file somebody or leave the group).

I have left many groups permanently, and some groups off and on,
because I don't like the arguments on the group, the nastiness of some
people, or the group is more off-topic than non-topic. I never make an
announcement. I just leave.

This is one group that I come back every now and then to see if the
attitude has improved. Sometimes, I ask a question, respond to a few
posts, stay awhile. Sometimes I take a look and leave without even
posting.

Some groups, I have never gone back to. A couple weeks ago, I ditched
a mailing list because the moderator was cancelling posts that were
ontopic and polite,but disagreed with his opinion. In my case, he
didn't like the lights I was using for photography, and emailed me to
tell me to remove my statement about them (that they worked well).We
were already discussing the topic of lights and what worked well for
each of us. If he disliked my lights, he could have argued it on the
list. But he blocked my post because he thought i was wrong. I simply
replied that I could not alter my post. I waited a few days to see if
he would let it go through, and then I unsubcribed. Who knows how many
other valid discussions were quashed by his need to be right.

I can tell you that my opinions are certain topics have done a full
turnaround from my early postings 15 years ago. But I didn't change my
opinion when people were calling me names and being rude to me. I
changed my beliefs later when I was doing research and learned the
truth. If people want to make a difference, educating people works a
lot better than yelling and screaming. As it is, I usally figure the
other person knows they've lost when they get to the point of name
calling and off topic insults. Why? Because they aren't arguing the
actual topic. They ran out of valid points and got personal.

  #48  
Old August 7th 07, 09:02 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Charlie Wilkes
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Posts: 410
Default stupid stupid people

On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:52:34 +0000, Rhonda wrote:

bookie wrote:

never heard of the cathartic effect? talking cure?



I had to look that up! Google has a search for scholarly articles now.
Here's what I found for cathartic effect:

"In general, empirical findings have been inconsistent with the
catharsis hypothesis (see reviews by Geen & Quanty, 1977, and Warren &
Kurlycheck, 1981). Tavris (1988) concluded that "it is time to put a
bullet, once and for all, through heart of the catharsis hypothesis. The
belief that observing violence (or 'ventilating it') gets rid of
hostilities has virtually never been supported by research" (p. 194).
Because activities considered to be cathartic also are aggressive, they
could lead to the activation of other aggressive thoughts, emotions, and
behavioral tendencies which in turn could lead to greater anger and
aggression (Berkowitz, 1984; Tice & Baumeister, 1993)."

http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp763367.pdf


Rhonda


This particular brand of pop psychology had its heyday in the 1970s,
promoted by cranks like Arthur Janov (primal therapy) and J.L. Moreno
(psychodrama). It's not unlike the "Alpha dog" theory, which has been
debunked by research, but you'll never convince the people who cling to
it because it justifies their desire to bully a dumb animal. Likewise
anger junkies cling to catharsis theory as a way to justify their
tantrums and tirades.

Charlie
  #49  
Old August 7th 07, 01:13 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
bookie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,049
Default stupid stupid people

On 7 Aug, 05:52, Rhonda wrote:
bookie wrote:
never heard of the cathartic effect? talking cure?


I had to look that up! Google has a search for scholarly articles now.
Here's what I found for cathartic effect:

"In general, empirical findings have been inconsistent with the
catharsis hypothesis (see reviews by Geen & Quanty, 1977, and Warren &
Kurlycheck, 1981). Tavris (1988) concluded that "it is time to put a
bullet, once and for all, through heart of the catharsis hypothesis. The
belief that observing violence (or 'ventilating it') gets rid of
hostilities has virtually never been supported by research" (p. 194).
Because activities considered to be cathartic also are aggressive, they
could lead to the activation of other aggressive thoughts, emotions, and
behavioral tendencies which in turn could lead to greater anger and
aggression (Berkowitz, 1984; Tice & Baumeister, 1993)."

http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp763367.pdf

Rhonda


look up 'freud' and the talking cure

  #50  
Old August 7th 07, 01:15 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
bookie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,049
Default stupid stupid people

On 7 Aug, 06:53, Charlie Wilkes
wrote:
On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:18:54 +0000, Rhonda wrote:

So you think the judgmental comments she tosses out about groups of
people (Americans, children, etc.) are flame bait? I was thinking it was
more genuine anger -- maybe misdirected, but still coming from
somewhere.


She may be genuinely frustrated with certain aspects of her life, but her
comments about fat people and Americans are calculated to get a rise out
of people.

finally someone works it out! and the thing is it can be so easy to do
with some of you, and the more you rise to the bait the more i do it



The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It
doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always
thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind.


Yes, in fact that is what they are saying -- "shut up because I'm not
listening." It's a feeble attempt to exert control over someone else.

There just isn't that much volume in this group. Nor does any one person
account for a disproportionate share of the volume. Filters are
overkill... all people have to do is ignore whatever posts they don't
want to read.


exactly

But that doesn't send a message to whoever it is that
annoys them, does it?


that's true, i don't get the message that i am pushing someone's
buttons

Charlie



 




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