dear diary...

A day in the life, with six cats...

5.00am: vaguely wake up as Marion goes out to work a ridiculously early
morning shift for the second day running this week.

5.45am: woken by a godawful series of crashes and bangs all over the
house, finally centring on the bathroom. Find Ollie and
Courtney attempting to simultaneously catch a large brown
bird they've brought in through the catflap while preventing
their mother Marblecake and adoptive father Splodge from
getting a bite. Throw two very determined kittens out of the
bathroom, locate my key for the security latch, go back into
the bathroom followed by two kittens, throw kittens out of
the bathroom again, unlatch and open the window so the bird
can fly out, emerge from bathroom fighting off two kittens
and their parents attempting to get back in, go back to bed.

6.00am: respond to another series of crashes and bangs, again from the
bathroom. Discover that the bird is still hiding behind the
toilet and the kittens have gone out through the catflap and
jumped back in through the bathroom window, scattering a
shelfload of toiletries everywhere. Attempt to catch the
bird, which ends up as a silent-movie chase with me and the
kittens all after the bird. I grab a Palestinian scarf I have
covering up some stacked pictureframes and finally manage to
net the bird in it at the front door. Emerge from front door
stark naked shooing the kittens back inside, unwrap the bird
on the path, see that it still seems mobile enough to make a
getaway, and go back to bed.

6.30am: woken by an appalling pong to find Chloe has had diarrhoea
under the bedroom window. Clean it up, then when going back
find out that another cat (probably Ishtar) has peed in the
hallway. Throw an old newspaper over it to soak it up and
go back to bed. Feed the cats, which means shutting Ishtar
in the bathroom as she gets different food. Go back to bed.

7.00am: woken by Ishtar meowing that she's had her breakfast and can
she get out please. Let her out and go back to bed. Manage
to sleep this time.

11.00am: get up (I don't work Fridays). Make coffee (a process which
always involves Splodge demanding a cuddle) and read email
(doing this without Splodge on my lap is unheard-of).

Afternoon: clean up cat pee. Change both inside and outside litter
trays. Get dinner started. Marion comes back home and
immediately notices that my shoes (in the hallway) have
been puked on. Clean that up, but while I'm doing it Ishtar
decides to throw up. I manage to interrupt her and get her
to finish outside. Clean it up. Step in some more cat
puke in my socks.

Just now: feed the cats. This involves giving Ishtar her special
food again, in the bathroom. Ollie charges in and won't
take no for an answer. When I pick him up to put him in
the hallway, he grips the bathmat in his claws like grim
death so I have to drop both kitten and bathmat together
outside the door. I don't think any of them have puked
on the bathmat yet.

To Do: pick up the cotton buds that either the bird or the kittens
knocked off the bathroom window shelf. Wash socks. Also the
bedroom rug that Chloe had diarrhoea on yesterday, and my
trousers and Marion's underwear, both of which Ishtar peed on
the night before that.

I do love my furries.

==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === http://www.campin.me.uk ====
Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557
CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts

On 28 Jun., 01:15, Jack Campin - bogus address
wrote:
A day in the life, with six cats...

5.00am: vaguely wake up as Marion goes out to work a ridiculously early
* * * * morning shift for the second day running this week.

5.45am: woken by a godawful series of crashes and bangs all over the
* * * * house, finally centring on the bathroom. *Find Ollie and
* * * * Courtney attempting to simultaneously catch a large brown
* * * * bird they've brought in through the catflap while preventing
* * * * their mother Marblecake and adoptive father Splodge from
* * * * getting a bite. *Throw two very determined kittens out of the
* * * * bathroom, locate my key for the security latch, go back into
* * * * the bathroom followed by two kittens, throw kittens out of
* * * * the bathroom again, unlatch and open the window so the bird
* * * * can fly out, emerge from bathroom fighting off two kittens
* * * * and their parents attempting to get back in, go back to bed.

6.00am: respond to another series of crashes and bangs, again from the
* * * * bathroom. *Discover that the bird is still hiding behind the
* * * * toilet and the kittens have gone out through the catflap and
* * * * jumped back in through the bathroom window, scattering a
* * * * shelfload of toiletries everywhere. *Attempt to catch the
* * * * bird, which ends up as a silent-movie chase with me and the
* * * * kittens all after the bird. *I grab a Palestinian scarf I have
* * * * covering up some stacked pictureframes and finally manage to
* * * * net the bird in it at the front door. *Emerge from front door
* * * * stark naked shooing the kittens back inside, unwrap the bird
* * * * on the path, see that it still seems mobile enough to make a
* * * * getaway, and go back to bed.

6.30am: woken by an appalling pong to find Chloe has had diarrhoea
* * * * under the bedroom window. *Clean it up, then when going back
* * * * find out that another cat (probably Ishtar) has peed in the
* * * * hallway. *Throw an old newspaper over it to soak it up and
* * * * go back to bed. *Feed the cats, which means shutting Ishtar
* * * * in the bathroom as she gets different food. *Go back to bed.

7.00am: woken by Ishtar meowing that she's had her breakfast and can
* * * * she get out please. *Let her out and go back to bed. *Manage
* * * * to sleep this time.

11.00am: get up (I don't work Fridays). *Make coffee (a process which
* * * * *always involves Splodge demanding a cuddle) and read email
* * * * *(doing this without Splodge on my lap is unheard-of).

Afternoon: clean up cat pee. *Change both inside and outside litter
* * * * * *trays. *Get dinner started. *Marion comes back home and
* * * * * *immediately notices that my shoes (in the hallway) have
* * * * * *been puked on. *Clean that up, but while I'm doing it Ishtar
* * * * * *decides to throw up. *I manage to interrupt her and get her
* * * * * *to finish outside. *Clean it up. *Step in some more cat
* * * * * *puke in my socks.

Just now: feed the cats. *This involves giving Ishtar her special
* * * * * food again, in the bathroom. *Ollie charges in and won't
* * * * * take no for an answer. *When I pick him up to put him in
* * * * * the hallway, he grips the bathmat in his claws like grim
* * * * * death so I have to drop both kitten and bathmat together
* * * * * outside the door. *I don't think any of them have puked
* * * * * on the bathmat yet.

To Do: pick up the cotton buds that either the bird or the kittens
* * * *knocked off the bathroom window shelf. *Wash socks. *Also the
* * * *bedroom rug that Chloe had diarrhoea on yesterday, and my
* * * *trousers and Marion's underwear, both of which Ishtar peed on
* * * *the night before that.

I do love my furries.

==== j a c k *at *c a m p i n . m e . u k *=== *http://www.campin.me.uk ====
Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557
CD-ROMs and free stuff: *Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts

Yep - that sounds familiar. Nice day. g
There seem to be days were all of them either puke, have the runs or
bring in animals to chase.
Or get into fights that one has to part them.
Fortunately not all days are like this.

I am so happy that I am not the only one with days like that.
One couldn`t tell these stories to "normal" people. We as catpeople
have lost the squeamishness regarding
the cleaning up of puke or worse. But I never ever would tell my
relatives or other people who are not my way g
that I frequently have to clean up stuff like that.
And - ah what a well known picture - stepping into cat-puke. vbg

Liked your story of your day. Feels so familiar.

Bettina

On Jun 27, 4:15*pm, Jack Campin - bogus address
wrote:


I do love my furries.

Like all of us you pit up with a lot my average day is more like

5AM- Someone not sure who bounces on my head on their way to play in
the hallway if I am very lucky no-one will have bounced on Dave's bad
foot/testicles so he doesn't wake up so I get up and use the toilet

5.15AM- that was a bad move- Sarsi now knows I am conscious even if I
am trying not to be and baps my face until she gets skritchies

6.00AM- Sarsi finally settles down next to me and I fall asleep or
half asleep as I am aware I need to get up for work

7.00AM- I stagger into the living room- Sarsi has moved to Dave's
wheelchair and will impersonate a dead cat until fed

7.20AM- I feed the cats- Sarsi rises from the dead

7.30AM-Off to work, Dunzi makes determined effort to get out and I end
up chasing her up the stairs and bringing her down carefully as my
ankle still isn't quite right after she tripped me up in February

7.45 AM off to work finally

7.45-5.30 PM- At work, Dave sends me regular emails about whichever
cat is misbhevaing at the time

5.30PM- get tube

5.30-7.30- Retreat (now and again otherwise next stage starts at 5.30)
to pub

7.30- Do shopping try to remember cat food in the sure knowledge I
will be forced to go out again if I forget

7.30-8.00- Get back home. Managed if I am lucky to open front door
without both cats getting out if so Sarsi goes back in on her own but
have to once again risk stairs to retrive Dunzi

8.00- Feed cats enjoy moment of peace

8.15-9.30- Sarsi brings out fether onna stick attempt to knacker her
only to knacker myself

9.30- I manage if I want to to get something to eat

9.30-11.00- Watch telly, read, scoop litter tray, get cats sitting on
lap, in face etc

11.00- Go to bed, Sarsi promptly jumps on me

11.30- Occasionally hear noise of cat puking and am glad I hear it now
and can get up and clean it up rather than standing on it in the
morning

5.00AM it starts again

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Jack Campin - bogus address wrote:

A day in the life, with six cats...

[big snip]

Wow. That's a rowdy, and very *excretive*, if that's a word, bunch.
You dealt with a lot of disgusting substances in a small amount of
time.

I can't believe the kittens managed to go out the cat flap and come
back in the window. Smart little b*ggers!

--
Joyce

To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^

I can't believe the kittens managed to go out the cat flap and come
back in the window. Smart little b*ggers!

I was thinking of that old British music hall song "Shut the door -
they're coming in the window" in which something left unspecified
is trying to take over somebody's whole house and the narrator is
going crazy with panic, with lots of Alvin-the-chipmunk-like voices.
(I heard a version of that as a kid in the late Fifties, at a guess
the Dr Demento show in the States would have picked up on it).

==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === http://www.campin.me.uk ====
Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557
CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts