Aaargh - busybody neighbor! :(

I have this neighbor who seems to be convinced that I'm starving my cat.
Her concern was touching at first, but now it's just getting annoying.
A bit insulting, too.

If you've followed my story about Smudge conning the neighbors out of
food and treats, you can jump over the next several paragraphs, because
you know all this. Go down and start reading from "SMUDGE UPDATE".

If you want the backstory, read on:

About a month ago, a neighbor of mine came over to my house to inform
me that Smudge has been getting fed by several neighbors, including
herself, and she seemed extremely hungry. The neighbor was also worried
because despite how Smudge would wolf down the food, she seemed thin.
(It's true that Smudge has gradually lost weight over the past few
years, but she *is* 12!) The neighbor thought Smudge might be hyperthyroid,
and wanted to alert me to that possibility.

So I took Smudge to the vet and got a complete blood panel workup.
Everything came back perfectly normal. Thyroid fine, kidneys fine, etc.
I told my neighbor about this, and I asked her to stop feeding Smudge
so I could control what she ate. For one thing, I get very good food
for my cats - Wellness brand canned food, which has almost no grains,
no additives, junk fillers, etc. It's healthy food. I also add some
healthy kitty treats to make it more tasty. And I have to make sure
Smudge is home and hungry for breakfast on the mornings when I give
her aspirin. The neighbor promised not to feed Smudge anymore.

Suddenly, Smudge started coming home every morning and every night for
her food. She ate everything I gave her. She stayed in at night, slept
on my bed, and went out very early in the morning (before I actually get
up for the day), and then came back home when I did get up, so she could
get breakfast.

SMUDGE UPDATE:

This past week, I started noticing that Smudge wasn't coming home when
I called her in the morning. Some days I ended up going to work without
seeing her. She was slow coming home in the evenings, too. And she
wouldn't eat very much of the food I gave her, even though it was fresh
out of the can, and mixed with treats and some kitty gravy to make it
tasty. I started to suspect that the neighbor was feeding Smudge again.
But I didn't know how to approach her about it, because to ask her would
imply that I didn't trust her to keep her word. I don't know this woman
very well, and I didn't want to insult her.

Today she beat me to it - she left me a message saying that Smudge has
been hanging around her house, crying at the door, and wolfing down the
food that the neighbor gave her - yes, she was feeding her again.

So I called her back, and I asked her once again, to please stop feeding
her, because it was messing up her feeding schedule at home. She tried
to convince me how hungry Smudge was. I told her that yes, I do get up
later than she does, so at that hour of the morning, Smudge is indeed
ready for her breakfast, and behaves like a hungry cat. But she will get
it at my place when I get up!

I swear, this woman does not believe me when I say that I feed her twice
a day and feed her excellent food. She actually had the nerve to say to
me, "Do you stay with her when she's eating?" Excuse me? I said, "I've
had this cat for 12 years, I think I know how to feed her." I don't want
to have an argumentative relationship with a neighbor, but I couldn't
let that one go by. She is very pushy about this - she really seems to
believe that I'm not feeding my cat.

I asked her if Smudge was disturbing her, and she said not at all, she
was just concerned. I repeated that she'd had a perfect bill of health
at the vet's and was fed good food twice a day. She seemed doubtful, but
once again agreed to stop feeding my cat.

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

Thanks!

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

Don't let your cat outside.

On Jun 2, 1:27�am, wrote:
I have this neighbor who seems to be convinced that I'm starving my cat.
Her concern was touching at first, but now it's just getting annoying.
A bit insulting, too.

If you've followed my story about Smudge conning the neighbors out of
food and treats, you can jump over the next several paragraphs, because
you know all this. Go down and start reading from "SMUDGE UPDATE".

If you want the backstory, read on:

About a month ago, a neighbor of mine came over to my house to inform
me that Smudge has been getting fed by several neighbors, including
herself, and she seemed extremely hungry. The neighbor was also worried
because despite how Smudge would wolf down the food, she seemed thin.
(It's true that Smudge has gradually lost weight over the past few
years, but she *is* 12!) The neighbor thought Smudge might be hyperthyroid,
and wanted to alert me to that possibility.

So I took Smudge to the vet and got a complete blood panel workup.
Everything came back perfectly normal. Thyroid fine, kidneys fine, etc.
I told my neighbor about this, and I asked her to stop feeding Smudge
so I could control what she ate. For one thing, I get very good food
for my cats - Wellness brand canned food, which has almost no grains,
no additives, junk fillers, etc. It's healthy food. I also add some
healthy kitty treats to make it more tasty. And I have to make sure
Smudge is home and hungry for breakfast on the mornings when I give
her aspirin. The neighbor promised not to feed Smudge anymore.

Suddenly, Smudge started coming home every morning and every night for
her food. She ate everything I gave her. She stayed in at night, slept
on my bed, and went out very early in the morning (before I actually get
up for the day), and then came back home when I did get up, so she could
get breakfast.

SMUDGE UPDATE:

This past week, I started noticing that Smudge wasn't coming home when
I called her in the morning. Some days I ended up going to work without
seeing her. She was slow coming home in the evenings, too. And she
wouldn't eat very much of the food I gave her, even though it was fresh
out of the can, and mixed with treats and some kitty gravy to make it
tasty. I started to suspect that the neighbor was feeding Smudge again.
But I didn't know how to approach her about it, because to ask her would
imply that I didn't trust her to keep her word. I don't know this woman
very well, and I didn't want to insult her.

Today she beat me to it - she left me a message saying that Smudge has
been hanging around her house, crying at the door, and wolfing down the
food that the neighbor gave her - yes, she was feeding her again.

So I called her back, and I asked her once again, to please stop feeding
her, because it was messing up her feeding schedule at home. She tried
to convince me how hungry Smudge was. I told her that yes, I do get up
later than she does, so at that hour of the morning, Smudge is indeed
ready for her breakfast, and behaves like a hungry cat. But she will get
it at my place when I get up!

I swear, this woman does not believe me when I say that I feed her twice
a day and feed her excellent food. She actually had the nerve to say to
me, "Do you stay with her when she's eating?" Excuse me? I said, "I've
had this cat for 12 years, I think I know how to feed her." I don't want
to have an argumentative relationship with a neighbor, but I couldn't
let that one go by. She is very pushy about this - she really seems to
believe that I'm not feeding my cat.

I asked her if Smudge was disturbing her, and she said not at all, she
was just concerned. I repeated that she'd had a perfect bill of health
at the vet's and was fed good food twice a day. She seemed doubtful, but
once again agreed to stop feeding my cat.

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

Thanks!

--
Joyce � ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

wrote:
I have this neighbor who seems to be convinced that I'm starving my cat.
Her concern was touching at first, but now it's just getting annoying.
A bit insulting, too.

If you've followed my story about Smudge conning the neighbors out of
food and treats, you can jump over the next several paragraphs, because
you know all this. Go down and start reading from "SMUDGE UPDATE".

If you want the backstory, read on:

About a month ago, a neighbor of mine came over to my house to inform
me that Smudge has been getting fed by several neighbors, including
herself, and she seemed extremely hungry. The neighbor was also worried
because despite how Smudge would wolf down the food, she seemed thin.
(It's true that Smudge has gradually lost weight over the past few
years, but she *is* 12!) The neighbor thought Smudge might be hyperthyroid,
and wanted to alert me to that possibility.

So I took Smudge to the vet and got a complete blood panel workup.
Everything came back perfectly normal. Thyroid fine, kidneys fine, etc.
I told my neighbor about this, and I asked her to stop feeding Smudge
so I could control what she ate. For one thing, I get very good food
for my cats - Wellness brand canned food, which has almost no grains,
no additives, junk fillers, etc. It's healthy food. I also add some
healthy kitty treats to make it more tasty. And I have to make sure
Smudge is home and hungry for breakfast on the mornings when I give
her aspirin. The neighbor promised not to feed Smudge anymore.

Suddenly, Smudge started coming home every morning and every night for
her food. She ate everything I gave her. She stayed in at night, slept
on my bed, and went out very early in the morning (before I actually get
up for the day), and then came back home when I did get up, so she could
get breakfast.

SMUDGE UPDATE:

This past week, I started noticing that Smudge wasn't coming home when
I called her in the morning. Some days I ended up going to work without
seeing her. She was slow coming home in the evenings, too. And she
wouldn't eat very much of the food I gave her, even though it was fresh
out of the can, and mixed with treats and some kitty gravy to make it
tasty. I started to suspect that the neighbor was feeding Smudge again.
But I didn't know how to approach her about it, because to ask her would
imply that I didn't trust her to keep her word. I don't know this woman
very well, and I didn't want to insult her.

Today she beat me to it - she left me a message saying that Smudge has
been hanging around her house, crying at the door, and wolfing down the
food that the neighbor gave her - yes, she was feeding her again.

So I called her back, and I asked her once again, to please stop feeding
her, because it was messing up her feeding schedule at home. She tried
to convince me how hungry Smudge was. I told her that yes, I do get up
later than she does, so at that hour of the morning, Smudge is indeed
ready for her breakfast, and behaves like a hungry cat. But she will get
it at my place when I get up!

I swear, this woman does not believe me when I say that I feed her twice
a day and feed her excellent food. She actually had the nerve to say to
me, "Do you stay with her when she's eating?" Excuse me? I said, "I've
had this cat for 12 years, I think I know how to feed her." I don't want
to have an argumentative relationship with a neighbor, but I couldn't
let that one go by. She is very pushy about this - she really seems to
believe that I'm not feeding my cat.

I asked her if Smudge was disturbing her, and she said not at all, she
was just concerned. I repeated that she'd had a perfect bill of health
at the vet's and was fed good food twice a day. She seemed doubtful, but
once again agreed to stop feeding my cat.

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

I don't know what I would do, but wanted to send purrs and
don't-feed-Smudge vibes to your neighbour.

I once caught a glimpse of a little girl who was throwing something into
the enclosure, and Caliban was eagerly jumping on whatever she was
throwing and gobbling it up. The girl ran away when I came to the door.
I caught Caliban and put him inside and went to investigate. I found
some sort of cat treat (I assume) scattered on the ground. No harm came
to Caliban, but I'll admit I was really angry at that girl. I never saw
her again, though. The treats were such a disgusting bright purple
colour, I can't understand why anyone even would give that to their pet.
I could only hope Caliban didn't eat many of them.

--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban.
In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

"Sharon" wrote in message
...
Don't let your cat outside.
***************

This is not very practical in this case. Smudge gets out no matter what.
Also not very polite.

Pam S.

On Jun 2, 1:27?am, wrote:
I have this neighbor who seems to be convinced that I'm starving my cat.
Her concern was touching at first, but now it's just getting annoying.
A bit insulting, too.

If you've followed my story about Smudge conning the neighbors out of
food and treats, you can jump over the next several paragraphs, because
you know all this. Go down and start reading from "SMUDGE UPDATE".

If you want the backstory, read on:

About a month ago, a neighbor of mine came over to my house to inform
me that Smudge has been getting fed by several neighbors, including
herself, and she seemed extremely hungry. The neighbor was also worried
because despite how Smudge would wolf down the food, she seemed thin.
(It's true that Smudge has gradually lost weight over the past few
years, but she *is* 12!) The neighbor thought Smudge might be
hyperthyroid,
and wanted to alert me to that possibility.

So I took Smudge to the vet and got a complete blood panel workup.
Everything came back perfectly normal. Thyroid fine, kidneys fine, etc.
I told my neighbor about this, and I asked her to stop feeding Smudge
so I could control what she ate. For one thing, I get very good food
for my cats - Wellness brand canned food, which has almost no grains,
no additives, junk fillers, etc. It's healthy food. I also add some
healthy kitty treats to make it more tasty. And I have to make sure
Smudge is home and hungry for breakfast on the mornings when I give
her aspirin. The neighbor promised not to feed Smudge anymore.

Suddenly, Smudge started coming home every morning and every night for
her food. She ate everything I gave her. She stayed in at night, slept
on my bed, and went out very early in the morning (before I actually get
up for the day), and then came back home when I did get up, so she could
get breakfast.

SMUDGE UPDATE:

This past week, I started noticing that Smudge wasn't coming home when
I called her in the morning. Some days I ended up going to work without
seeing her. She was slow coming home in the evenings, too. And she
wouldn't eat very much of the food I gave her, even though it was fresh
out of the can, and mixed with treats and some kitty gravy to make it
tasty. I started to suspect that the neighbor was feeding Smudge again.
But I didn't know how to approach her about it, because to ask her would
imply that I didn't trust her to keep her word. I don't know this woman
very well, and I didn't want to insult her.

Today she beat me to it - she left me a message saying that Smudge has
been hanging around her house, crying at the door, and wolfing down the
food that the neighbor gave her - yes, she was feeding her again.

So I called her back, and I asked her once again, to please stop feeding
her, because it was messing up her feeding schedule at home. She tried
to convince me how hungry Smudge was. I told her that yes, I do get up
later than she does, so at that hour of the morning, Smudge is indeed
ready for her breakfast, and behaves like a hungry cat. But she will get
it at my place when I get up!

I swear, this woman does not believe me when I say that I feed her twice
a day and feed her excellent food. She actually had the nerve to say to
me, "Do you stay with her when she's eating?" Excuse me? I said, "I've
had this cat for 12 years, I think I know how to feed her." I don't want
to have an argumentative relationship with a neighbor, but I couldn't
let that one go by. She is very pushy about this - she really seems to
believe that I'm not feeding my cat.

I asked her if Smudge was disturbing her, and she said not at all, she
was just concerned. I repeated that she'd had a perfect bill of health
at the vet's and was fed good food twice a day. She seemed doubtful, but
once again agreed to stop feeding my cat.

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

Thanks!

--
Joyce ? ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

wrote in message
....

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

Thanks!

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

Joyce,

I don't know where you live or what your financial resources are, so this
may not be very practical. However, some people have fenced their back yard
with an extension on the top that prevents cats from escaping. Other than
keeping your cat indoors as much as possible, I don't know of any other
steps to take. You have already spoken to the neighbor (more than once),
and she sounds like someone who will ignore what you say and go right on
doing what she wants to do.

MaryL

"tanadashoes" wrote in message
m...

"Sharon" wrote in message
...
Don't let your cat outside.
***************

This is not very practical in this case. Smudge gets out no matter what.
Also not very polite.

Pam S.


But also to be ignored also since it was their first and only post here

wrote:

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

Thanks!

Is there any way you can confine Smudge to her own yard, so the neighbor
doesn't get the chance to interfere? I've always assumed if a wandering
cat wore a collar, it had a home, but your neighbor KNOWS Smudge is
yours, so I don't imagine a new collar would have any effect (presumably
already wears one).

It seems to be true that cats tend to exhibit their bones more as they
age. My Melisande is nearly twelve, and her spinal column and ribs are
more prominent than they were when she was younger. (But in her case,
you have to feel them - she's a long-hair cat, so they aren't readily
visible.) She's CERTAINLY not going hungry, since my girls always have
food available (whether they choose to eat it or not), and I frequently
hear her in the kitchen at the food bowls.

I agree you don't want to antagonize your neighbor without cause, but
you are more forbearing than I. If I were in your place, once she was
aware Smudge had a home but continued feeding her, I would start talking
about forms of legal recourse, such as "restraining orders"! ;-)

Sharon wrote:
Don't let your cat outside.

Why punish the cat for the neighbor's transgressions?

On Jun 2, 1:27�am, wrote:
snip

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

Sharon wrote:

Don't let your cat outside.

Why punish the cat for the neighbor's transgressions?

Yeah, that's how I feel. Smudge *loves* being outside. I believe she
needs to be able to go out, for her well-being. This is not true of all
cats. I keep my other two inside all the time, but Smudge is very social
with humans. When I'm gone during the day, she would be very lonely if
she didn't get to visit all her pals in the neighborhood (most of whom
don't feed her!).

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

wrote:

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for dealing
with it if it comes up again.

Is there any way you can confine Smudge to her own yard, so the neighbor
doesn't get the chance to interfere?

I don't have a yard - I live in an apartment building. I used to keep
Smudge tethered to the railing in the stairwell (the stairs to my apt.
are outdoors), so she could go down and hang out in the bushes. But
(1) she almost died when dogs attacked her and she was unable to run
away, and (2) I would never have left her like that when I wasn't home,
anyway.

I agree you don't want to antagonize your neighbor without cause, but
you are more forbearing than I. If I were in your place, once she was
aware Smudge had a home but continued feeding her, I would start talking
about forms of legal recourse, such as "restraining orders"! ;-)

I was wondering if I had any legal recourse, but I don't believe this
woman is breaking any laws, and she certainly isn't harming my cat. She's
causing more inconvenience for me than for Smudge, although I think the
food I give her is better quality. I know the woman means well, but she's
very pushy and she seems to have an attitude about me, that I'm not taking
care of Smudge properly or something. I guess in her mind, that justifies
what she's doing.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.