Completetly natural care for felines...

Hello,

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
completetly natural care for my companion.

He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!

Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned to
the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior, such
as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and
African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest
behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had
no choice but to declaw him.

He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child in
a field!

What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
chocolate pudding as dessert.

Thanks!

On Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:36:56 -0500, HillaryN08 wrote:

Hello,

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
completetly natural care for my companion.

He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!

Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned to
the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior, such
as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and
African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest
behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had
no choice but to declaw him.

He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child in
a field!

What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
chocolate pudding as dessert.

Thanks!


TROLL!!!!!!!

on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 20:09:06 GMT, mlbriggs wrote:

TROLL!!!!!!!

Yep.

--
Lynne

[a few snips]

No cluons were harmed when HillaryN08 wrote:

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

I hope you meant Human-companion rather than someone who dresses up as a
"furry".

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to
provide completetly natural
care for my companion.

Does this mean you're a B&D or S&M kind of vegetarian? Can we see your
whip? Also, Serutan™ is "Natures" spelled backwards.

If you want completely natural, you will make him kill his own prey. Of
course, my four claim that "natural" means waiting on them hand and paw.


He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most
happy and healthy when they are in their own natural environments.
I don't want him indoors where he would be subjected to human
materialism.

Nothing worse than a running-dog capitalist feline lackey.


Plus, he is tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever
he sees that mad man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the
TV. Smart kitty!

As we all know, politics is the catnip of the masses (yeah, yeah,
religion, blah, blah) and makes everyone crazy. In fact, this behavior
sounds like my father during an election year.


... and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks.
I had no choice but to declaw him.

What a shame. We had ours deboned instead. It's still inhumane, but our
cats go where we want, and STAY there. Also, it adds a new dimension to
that Bonzai Kitty hoax.


He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly
explore his sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty!
Run like a child in a field!

Ahem. *I* have been snipped, and it hasn't kept *me* from "exploring my
sexuality" at all. In fact, I'm exploring my sexuality RIGHT NOW, BAYBEEE.
Oh wait, did I just say that out loud?


What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered,
declawed, outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

Buffalo wings, chocolate, stuffed jalapeños and a nice cold beer. Or a
live antelope with ranch-style dressing.


I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions,
followed by chocolate pudding as dessert.

As long as you're going to poison your companion, don't forget the herbal
poinsettia and lily extracts.


Hugs and satirical Purrs,
Mark
--
Proof of Sanity Forged Upon Request

Plus, he is tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever
he sees that mad man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the
TV. Smart kitty!

Wow...so all I need to do to get Nox to stop attempting to overthrow
the white humans in the household in place of an all-black all-feline
government is to stop leaving copies of Malcolm X lying around?!

--Fil

HillaryN08 wrote:

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to
provide completetly natural care for my companion.

...Worse yet, he even developed speciest
behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks.
I had no choice but to declaw him.

Ah, yes, declawed - just as nature made him. You've done great raising
the all-natural cat! PeTA would be proud of you.

Joyce

PS - who's hungry? I'd love to get some casserole recipes. Something
bulky and filling, that I can feed myself for a week. This is how I
bring my own lunch to work - I make a big batch o'grub in a large pot
on Sunday, and that's what I eat for lunch that week. Something with
meat, grain and veggies would be great. Thanks!

mlbriggs wrote:
On Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:36:56 -0500, HillaryN08 wrote:

Hello,

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
completetly natural care for my companion.

He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!

Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned to
the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior, such
as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and
African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest
behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had
no choice but to declaw him.

He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child in
a field!

What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
chocolate pudding as dessert.

Thanks!


TROLL!!!!!!!

Heh. Well, yeah, but I give this post an 8 on the Troll-O-Meter, for
originaility.

Sherry

Heh. Well, yeah, but I give this post an 8 on the Troll-O-Meter, for
originaility.


I have to agree.

LOL! A very well thought out and researched troll post. You have hit
on all the major points:
1- indoor/outdoor
2- declawing
3- politics
4- PETA
5- foods harmful to cats
6- racism
It is quite a feat to fit all these points into a single, reasonably
short post.
But I am disappointed that you have neglected to mention anything about
the muu muu wearing readers of this NG and have not posted a link to
your website where we can all view some interesting pics of you in
diapers...
--
Britta
Purring is an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness
overflow.
Check out pictures of Vino at:
http://picasaweb.google.com/badwilson



HillaryN08 wrote:
Hello,

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to
provide completetly natural care for my companion.

He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy
and healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't
want him indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism.
Plus, he is tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever
he sees that mad man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV.
Smart kitty!
Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside
for him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his
emotional and mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was
inadvertently tuned to the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly
developed rabid necon behavior, such as racist hissing and growling
at Asian-American (Siamese) felines and African-American (black)
felines. Worse yet, he even developed speciest behavor and began
commiting hate crimes against birds and chimpmunks. I had no choice
but to declaw him.
He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly
explore his sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run
like a child in a field!

What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered,
declawed, outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
chocolate pudding as dessert.

Thanks!

badwilson wrote:

LOL! A very well thought out and researched troll post. You have hit
on all the major points:

1- indoor/outdoor
2- declawing
3- politics
4- PETA
5- foods harmful to cats
6- racism

And (7) lack of neutering - can't forget that one.

But I am disappointed that you have neglected to mention anything about
the muu muu wearing readers of this NG and have not posted a link to
your website where we can all view some interesting pics of you in
diapers...

Bring back the muu muu man! Bring back the muu muu man!

Joyce