[OT] Age Appropriate Dress?

wrote:

Part of my 100% cotton hangup comes from childhood. My grandmother
*just loved* to sew with polyester double-knit. She made all my
clothes. And I hated that stuff, even when it was fashionable. I swear,
if my closet had caught on fire, it would have smoldered for weeks.

LOL! Or it would have melted. Ewwww! Toxic waste site!

I remember in the 70s there was a type of synthetic fabric that was
very, very slippery and shiny. I had some shirts made of that fabric,
and I hated the way it felt against my skin. Also, the way the shirts
would slide right out from the waistband of my shorts, seeing as there
was zero friction in the material.

I'm not completely against synthetics now, but if I wear them, I
prefer a blend. However, I'm quite fond of my polyester fleece sweater
which is lightweight, warm, and looks great. Manufacturers can do a
lot more with synthetic fabrics now than they did when I was a teen.

Joyce

and eat healthy and that's as far as I'm going. Never again am I going
to let the number on a scale tell me how I should feel that day. Never.

Well, that is just about the sanest thing I've seen today on this subject!


Is my NAAFA membership showing? lol I hang out with a bunch of fat-
acceptance folks in the DC area, and they're a great group, I tell you.
We have all sorts, good and bad. (A lot of cat lovers, too)

Jane
- owned and operated by Princess Rita

This reminds me of a wonderful ad for the Peninsula Humane Society
(in the San Francisco area), which ran on TV for several months last
year. It was a slide show of different human faces, with a voiceover
saying, "Whether you're young, old, straight, gay, fat, thin, tall,
short..." (and a bunch of other characteristics) "...you are
beautiful. Beautiful. To him." And when it said "to him" the screen
showed a photo of a dog. Then cut to the PHS logo. I loved that!
Joyce

I've seen their ads. I used to live near there and work very near the
park that HS was in (in 80's). Used to spend fun hours after work
at Mills playing with remote-control cars with friends in a clearing
in that park. That HS is the best, nicest I've ever visited, ever.
I just remembered something: in those days, in San Mateo, there
was a tiny "pet shop" right on ElCamino who (unknown to general
public and unadvertised) took in and housed indefinitely stray cats
locals would bring in to them that they'd encountered (not ferals).
The owners were a couple of middle-aged men. I wonder if that
pet shop is still there and still doing this kindness...guess not likely
after over 20 years now.

On 2006-02-02, NMR penned:

Why can't you ground her age or not YOU ARE MOM don't you remember
your mom just like everyone else saying I brought you into this
world I can dang sure take you out of it. Or my Favorite a "Roseanna
Conner" saying I'm your mother I will control you to the day you
die


Some of us do manage to cut the apron strings. And some moms do
realize that their children growing up and becoming independent is a
*good* thing.

I've seen the product of overly controlling parents. It ain't pretty.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

wrote:

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

I notice (with some dismay) that one
of the "large woman" catalogs includes shiny red leather
pants suits among its offerings. They'd look great on any
young, firmly built, proportionately tall woman up to about
a size fourteen. The notion of a size forty wearing such a
getup (in shiny red, yet) boggles the mind!

What do you suggest, navy blue polyester tent dresses? Thank god the
manufacturers of plus-sized clothes have figured out they have a market,
and now make some interesting things to wear in those sizes.

This is just the most petty of attitudes. I think that everyone who
feels the need to judge what other people wear, based on their age or
size, is seriously in need of a life.

Well, *I* think any size forty who would even consider
wearing shiny red leather should have her head examined!
You'd have to be pretty seriously in denial, to think such
an item would be FLATTERING (and in my experience, tight
leather clothing would hardly qualify as "comfortable" - the
other excuse for wearing something so unsuitable to the
larger woman). Most women like to look "nice" when they go
out in public (it has more to do with self-respect than
worrying about what others think of you). You don't have to
resort to "blue polyester tent dresses" to try to minimize
your size (actually, they would be equally bad, in their
way). I'm certainly NOT saying you shouldn't wear "pretty"
clothes - just that large women should use a little common
sense when buying them. (Vertical stripes instead of
horizontal, small floral prints instead of cabbage roses,
vertical side-panels in contrasting colors.... and for GOD'S
sake lose the "empire" waists that make even the slimmest
woman look fat and/or pregnant!)

Although it's no longer so stereotypically true, opera
singers have traditionally been very large women, yet most
of them dress elegantly - at least in public - and use their
size to good advantage. They don't try to HIDE it, but they
wear designer clothes that make the most of it (they don't
try to wear the same style garments that look great on a
petite size eight). Of course, dressing to make the most of
what you have (even if it's excess avoirdupois) means being
a TRUE individualist, not feeling you must follow the
dictates of current fashion. Not every young woman in our
increasingly conformist culture has the courage to do that.

On 2006-02-03, Cheryl Perkins penned:

We probably agree on whether or not it is rude to make our
judgements available to the person directly involved or to anyone
else. But if I understand you correctly, you are saying that it
isn't wrong for, say, someone who knows that the mourners at a
particular funeral are very traditional and conventional to choose
to dress in a short, tight, bright red party dress for the occasion.
I'm saying it is wrong, that I'm aware enough of local conventions
on how to be considerate of mourners' feelings to form a judgement
on the matter, but that I'd not say so out of courtesy.

IMO there's quite a difference between wearing a bright red party
dress to a conventional funeral and wearing a bright red dress for a
special occasion (but you just happen to be fat).

Your posts seem to paint both decisions with the same brush.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

How do you distiniguish between 'need to judge' and 'holding an
opinion'?

I hope I've made the distinction more clear.


Here is MY unsolicited opinion/judgement on *myself*:
If I wore the all-bright-red outfit referred to (I saw that
catalog) I would very much resemble one of those red
double-decker buses in Britain....hoping that's about
as clear as you can get, ROFL. Speak for yourself.
This thread is one of the longest I can ever remember.

On 2006-02-03, EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) penned:

and for GOD'S sake lose the "empire" waists that make even the
slimmest woman look fat and/or pregnant!)

Phew! I thought I was the only person who thought those things make
everyone look pregnant!

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

I don't have any problem with fat people wearing red dresses. But if the
dress in question is in a style and fabric which makes the person look
like a a balloon ready to burst or an escapee from a concentration camp
(see a suprising number of female celebrities for examples of that!) I
think I - and anyone else - can make a judgement on whether or not they've
chosen an attractive way to dress. It would be rude to say you thought
they made a poor choice (unless the person in question was a close friend
or relative and convinced you she wanted honest feedback), but it would
be dishonest to pretend to yourself that you are not making a judgement;
that you cannot make a judgement.


I think there's a difference between making a personal judgement about
whether you like something or not, and stating that judgement, either
to someone's face or behind their back. There's also a difference
between enforcing a rule that's been set down and simply attempting to
enforce your personal taste.

Here's an example. I've got a big, spiked hoop through the middle of
my nose. I bet that sounds unattractive to some of you, and frankly,
that's okay. I don't mind if you find that unappealing, and I don't
mind if you'd rather not look at someone with a big hoop in their nose.

I even don't mind if you are my boss and ask me not to wear my nose
ring to work. There's the question of appropriateness, and if you're
boss of a business that's catering to, say, elderly people, and my
nosering projects the wrong image, then it's perfectly understandable
that you'd ask me not to wear it to work. Hell, I used to work in the
military and I understood that I had to take my piercings out before I
left my barracks. I had to get my cadets to take out their piercings,
too. One of them had a very striking nose stud which looked wonderful
on her ethnic Indian features; the fact that I liked her jewelry did
not change the fact that it wasn't appropriate in uniform, and I had to
ask her to remove it at work.

What gets me going is the implication that I shouldn't wear my nose
ring /anywhere at all/, even if my wearing of it is not against any
rules, just because someone might not like seeing a person with a spike
in her nose. There are other people who DO like seeing it, and still
more people who don't care. And *I* like it, so if I feel like wearing
it on the street, in my house, to visit friends, on my own personal
time I will wear it if I want to, and I will take pleasure in it.
Those around me are free to make whatever personal judgements on my
taste that they would like.

--Fil
No, I don't think my nose ring makes me look conventionally beautiful,
but I do like the way I look when I wear it.

Here's an example. I've got a big, spiked hoop through the middle of
my nose. I bet that sounds unattractive to some of you, and frankly,
that's okay. I don't mind if you find that unappealing, and I don't
mind if you'd rather not look at someone with a big hoop in their nose.
What gets me going is the implication that I shouldn't wear my nose
ring /anywhere at all/, even if my wearing of it is not against any
rules, just because someone might not like seeing a person with a spike
in her nose. There are other people who DO like seeing it, and still
more people who don't care. And *I* like it, so if I feel like wearing
it on the street, in my house, to visit friends, on my own personal
time I will wear it if I want to, and I will take pleasure in it.
Those around me are free to make whatever personal judgements on my
taste that they would like.

--Fil
No, I don't think my nose ring makes me look conventionally beautiful,
but I do like the way I look when I wear it.

Well, call me one of those who likes to look (curiousity) but leans toward
"not caring" very much. Fashion has moved piercings from earlobes to ear
cartilage to pretty much anywhere these days; one of the few good sides
to working in a large hospital ER for years is that you really get a good
idea
of what people are wearing these days (unless it's a pediatric ER, which are
more and more plentiful now)! LOL first reading your post I thought you
were going to say you have a big, spiked hook *nose*.......I have got used
to pretty much any sort of piercing jewelry worn anywhere and am indifferent
to feeling any way about it at all: with one exception - it makes me nervous
to see small kids with any that if pulled on hard by accident or otherwise
would injure them. Facial skin I was told is the worst type to bear scar
tissue
and thick, large scar tissue is common on some ethnics (keloids). I dunno
about ears. I wouldn't call ears "facial" would you?