I thought I was dying

kilikini wrote:
loss, hopitus.) What I have isn't breast cancer; it's an *extremely* rare
form of chest wall cancer. Mine spreads through connective tissue instead
of through the blood. It doesn't respond to chemo and my doctors won't do
radiation therapy because the tumor (which has returned) is right over my


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{kili}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}



--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
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kilikini wrote:
folks have been through this with me. It's been a long journey and it's
still not over. I'm begging for it to be over!!!!!!!! :~) Thanks for
routing for me. I appreciate it.

We all are!

--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

hopitus wrote:
I am licensed to do mammos as well as my general registry.

A friend of mine sent me this years ago, hopefully you will find it as
funny as she did.

PREPARING FOR THE YEARLY MAMMOGRAM

Many women fear their first mammogram, and even if they you had them
before, there is the fear. But, there is no need to worry. By taking a
few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the
following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test,
and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises in the
privacy of your home.

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between
the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the
door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the
cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie
comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear
tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your
breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your
breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can.
Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again.

You are now properly prepared! Also, notice ladies:

MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And, when
we have real problems, it's HISterectomy


--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

I had one and it was rougher than that but I know they are things people
should have. I would have belted my husband if he had been that rough.
"kilikini" wrote in message
. com...
Granby wrote:
How can you not mind a mammogram!! Like laying down in a drive way and
letting someone back over your boob and sitting there and saying
"Take a deep breath". What's not to love.

LOL, they're not bad at all. Honestly. Take a deep breath, we'll squeeze
your breast (I'm sure your husband has squeezed harder), and you're done!
It's simple.

kili

ROTFLOL Love it and will send to every woman I know. Thanks.
"Victor Martinez" wrote in message
...
hopitus wrote:
I am licensed to do mammos as well as my general registry.

A friend of mine sent me this years ago, hopefully you will find it as
funny as she did.

PREPARING FOR THE YEARLY MAMMOGRAM

Many women fear their first mammogram, and even if they you had them
before, there is the fear. But, there is no need to worry. By taking a
few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following
practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of
all, you can do these simple practice exercises in the privacy of your
home.

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the
door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door
shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement
floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on
the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled.
Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your
breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can.
Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again.

You are now properly prepared! Also, notice ladies:

MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And, when we
have real problems, it's HISterectomy


--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

tanadashoes wrote:
"kilikini" wrote in message
. com...
Granby wrote:
How can you not mind a mammogram!! Like laying down in a drive way
and letting someone back over your boob and sitting there and saying
"Take a deep breath". What's not to love.

LOL, they're not bad at all. Honestly. Take a deep breath, we'll
squeeze your breast (I'm sure your husband has squeezed harder), and
you're done! It's simple.

kili

I want your mammogram technicians. I do get a giggle out of the ones
here at the army hospital. They call one's breasts "the girls." Poor Rob
tried to follow me into the mammogram suite and was turned
out. I apologized and explained to the receptionist why Rob was so
intent on helping me and she went out and gently explained to him
that no males, no matter how cute, are allowed into the mammogram
suite. He thought she was great calling him cute and didn't mind as
much after that.
Pam S.

Tee hee hee! That was cute, itself, Pam. :~)

kili

Victor Martinez wrote:
kilikini wrote:
folks have been through this with me. It's been a long journey and
it's still not over. I'm begging for it to be over!!!!!!!! :~) Thanks
for routing for me. I appreciate it.

We all are!

Thanks, Victor. :~)

kili

Not to mentioing flattening it...
You got that right on... LOL
"Granby"
How can you not mind a mammogram!! Like laying down in a drive way and
letting someone back over your boob and sitting there and saying "Take a
deep breath". What's not to love.
bastXXXette
Lesley
Last week my GP sent me one of those letters about their upgrading
their computer system and as they haven't seen me for a while if I
don't reply they'll assume I don't want to be on their books anymore
(They did once send me a letter that actually read "Dear Ms Madigan,
According to our records you have not contacted this practice since
2001, if you have moved from the area or died would you please advise
us of this fact"

Wow.

(I was going to say more, but I think "wow" says enough.)

I might be the only woman in the world who is not at all bothered by
mammograms. Not to say I enjoy them or anything. But I don't find
them in the least bit painful. I remember the first time I had one, I
had prepared myself psychologically for agony, after all I'd heard
about them. And it was nothing! Just a minor inconvenience.

Here's a related amusing quip:

Who ever thought up the word "mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I
think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to
someone. -- Jan King

I have no idea who Jan King is, but I'd like to!

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

"bobblespin"
"kilikini" :

Granby wrote:
How can you not mind a mammogram!! Like laying down in a drive way
and letting someone back over your boob and sitting there and saying
"Take a deep breath". What's not to love.

LOL, they're not bad at all. Honestly. Take a deep breath, we'll
squeeze your breast (I'm sure your husband has squeezed harder), and
you're done! It's simple.

kili

I beg to differ! Some people are lucky they don't hurt. My boobs have
been
extremely tender since I was a teenager. Even the gentle spray from a
shower hurts. I can't even lie on my stomach. But I do get mammos
regularly
in view of my past, er, problems.

Bobble

I SO can relate with you Bobbie...

Kyla

"Victor Martinez"...
hopitus wrote:
I am licensed to do mammos as well as my general registry.

A friend of mine sent me this years ago, hopefully you will find it as
funny as she did.

PREPARING FOR THE YEARLY MAMMOGRAM

Many women fear their first mammogram, and even if they you had them
before, there is the fear. But, there is no need to worry. By taking a
few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following
practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of
all, you can do these simple practice exercises in the privacy of your
home.

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the
door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door
shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement
floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on
the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled.
Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your
breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can.
Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again.

You are now properly prepared! Also, notice ladies:

MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And, when we
have real problems, it's HISterectomy


This really needs a BW.... my iced coffee is now all over Mosey.
Kyla

--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he