[OT] I am *SO* P*SSED OFF!

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Thank you Annie. You have a great perspective on life and more than once
I've taken your good advice!
Hugs,
CatNipped

Lori,
Thank you for your kind compliment. So often I feel at loss for words.
Wishing you the best.
Annie

CatNipped wrote:
"Prozack" wrote in message
oups.com...


I think he should be left to himself, and no pressure put on him one
way or the other.
I think he would be more inclined to quit if it was no big deal to you.
Nuff

Yeah, you may be right - one response to pressure, when you're a smoker, is
to go have a cigarette!

LOL - can't win from losing!

I was just re-reading through this thread, sometimes I jump and say
things
without getting all the facts.

I think I understand.

Someone else posted and said, it's a matter of life and death for both
of you.
Sure, if you wanna take that to an extreme, it ain't that bad is it.
he doesn't hold you down and force you to breathe his rat smoke right
he sneaks off...

hey! if he's going to go for a walk...(this is good) if he's going to
hide it...this is good cause you don't have to smell it. It would have
been better if you knew, but he didn't know you knew....this way he
keeps it underground, you don't have to look at it. but walking is
good.

Iiiii, tell ya, I'd be busy surrounding myself with the things I enjoy.

I made a comment, I don't feel I was qualified to make, I just don't
know you see..
I said, YOU let him ruin your day, when the truth is, it was love that
was hurt and
trust that took a blow. So, I take that part back.

Can I make a suggestion that may seem totally inappropriate in this.
Im not discrediting you or claiming anything about you, as I say, I
don't know you.
This may already be the case, I just wanna put it out here. (and you
have been sympathetic towards him, this has been brought up)

If I got caught and my wife felt the way you do, hurting her and seeing
her dissapointment would be enough consequence to make me feel bad for
hiding and lying and sneaking and smoking, and smoking! and...

maybe Im just fantasizing, but it would be nice if my wife were to
say...
Oh, you didn't have to hide that baby! You must be feeling alot of
pressure...
here, let mamma make it better...and proceed to make it better...
you know...

I guess it's hard to feel that way, when you feeling another. I mean to
say...
is it an option to lay your feelings aside, and nurture the need in
him...
you say why should I lay my feelings aside. I was done wrong.
Yes, you was...but it takes a bigger woman to do this.

Behind every successful man is a good woman. I don't know if you two
are equally yoked so to say, emotionally mentally, etc...but if putting
your feelings second is an option, then I would think he would be more
enthralled with your attitude and your affections and love...this could
blow his mind, I just can't help but feel, he would stop because the
love you two share has gone to another level. see....it could very well
be the thing that takes the edge off of whatever is eating at him.
(probably finances...we all have this to deal with)

so...if this is still an option...I say go for it! teach him a lesson!

I don't know if I could be that strong, only you know what you can do.
If my wife treated me as I suggest above...It would blow my mind...
I'd be so overwhelmed with her fervor, I would not dare light another
cigarette
and make her feel bad feelings, or trample the love she is giving
see...

Maybe Im just fantasizing.

"Prozack" wrote in message
oups.com...

CatNipped wrote:
"Prozack" wrote in message
oups.com...


I think he should be left to himself, and no pressure put on him one
way or the other.
I think he would be more inclined to quit if it was no big deal to
you.
Nuff

Yeah, you may be right - one response to pressure, when you're a smoker,
is
to go have a cigarette!

LOL - can't win from losing!

I was just re-reading through this thread, sometimes I jump and say
things
without getting all the facts.

I think I understand.

Someone else posted and said, it's a matter of life and death for both
of you.
Sure, if you wanna take that to an extreme, it ain't that bad is it.
he doesn't hold you down and force you to breathe his rat smoke right
he sneaks off...

hey! if he's going to go for a walk...(this is good) if he's going to
hide it...this is good cause you don't have to smell it. It would have
been better if you knew, but he didn't know you knew....this way he
keeps it underground, you don't have to look at it. but walking is
good.

Iiiii, tell ya, I'd be busy surrounding myself with the things I enjoy.

I made a comment, I don't feel I was qualified to make, I just don't
know you see..
I said, YOU let him ruin your day, when the truth is, it was love that
was hurt and
trust that took a blow. So, I take that part back.

Can I make a suggestion that may seem totally inappropriate in this.
Im not discrediting you or claiming anything about you, as I say, I
don't know you.
This may already be the case, I just wanna put it out here. (and you
have been sympathetic towards him, this has been brought up)

If I got caught and my wife felt the way you do, hurting her and seeing
her dissapointment would be enough consequence to make me feel bad for
hiding and lying and sneaking and smoking, and smoking! and...

maybe Im just fantasizing, but it would be nice if my wife were to
say...
Oh, you didn't have to hide that baby! You must be feeling alot of
pressure...
here, let mamma make it better...and proceed to make it better...
you know...

I guess it's hard to feel that way, when you feeling another. I mean to
say...
is it an option to lay your feelings aside, and nurture the need in
him...
you say why should I lay my feelings aside. I was done wrong.
Yes, you was...but it takes a bigger woman to do this.

Behind every successful man is a good woman. I don't know if you two
are equally yoked so to say, emotionally mentally, etc...but if putting
your feelings second is an option, then I would think he would be more
enthralled with your attitude and your affections and love...this could
blow his mind, I just can't help but feel, he would stop because the
love you two share has gone to another level. see....it could very well
be the thing that takes the edge off of whatever is eating at him.
(probably finances...we all have this to deal with)

so...if this is still an option...I say go for it! teach him a lesson!

I don't know if I could be that strong, only you know what you can do.
If my wife treated me as I suggest above...It would blow my mind...
I'd be so overwhelmed with her fervor, I would not dare light another
cigarette
and make her feel bad feelings, or trample the love she is giving
see...

Maybe Im just fantasizing.

As I said, since I didn't want to ruin Thanksgiving, I "tabled" the
discussion. By the time we talked about it - the next night - I had calmed
down enough not to jump down his throat. I did tell him that I was
disappointed that he'd started smoking again after we had *both* agreed to
give it up in order to pay for our new home. *AND* I let him know that I
didn't appreciate the fact that he was endangering the life of the person I
hold most dear. After that we talked about it for a bit and then I let it
drop for the time being (at least until we can get our lives back on track).

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatNipped wrote:

As I said, since I didn't want to ruin Thanksgiving, I "tabled" the
discussion. By the time we talked about it - the next night - I had calmed
down enough not to jump down his throat. I did tell him that I was
disappointed that he'd started smoking again after we had *both* agreed to
give it up in order to pay for our new home. *AND* I let him know that I
didn't appreciate the fact that he was endangering the life of the person I
hold most dear. After that we talked about it for a bit and then I let it
drop for the time being (at least until we can get our lives back on track).

Hugs,

CatNipped

well it's all about you're feelings.
I reckon his lie was grounded in a fear that you was going to show your
ass about it.

nuff said.

"Prozack" wrote in message
oups.com...

CatNipped wrote:

As I said, since I didn't want to ruin Thanksgiving, I "tabled" the
discussion. By the time we talked about it - the next night - I had
calmed
down enough not to jump down his throat. I did tell him that I was
disappointed that he'd started smoking again after we had *both* agreed
to
give it up in order to pay for our new home. *AND* I let him know that
I
didn't appreciate the fact that he was endangering the life of the
person I
hold most dear. After that we talked about it for a bit and then I let
it
drop for the time being (at least until we can get our lives back on
track).

Hugs,

CatNipped

well it's all about you're feelings.
I reckon his lie was grounded in a fear that you was going to show your
ass about it.

nuff said.

OK, didn't we go over this territory a while back? DH *likes* it when I
show him my ass, it's quite a nice ass! ;

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatNipped wrote:

OK, didn't we go over this territory a while back? DH *likes* it when I
show him my ass, it's quite a nice ass! ;

Hugs,

CatNipped

ok, you got me! twoshay!

good luck kid. you have a good soul.

You have just made my day!!!!!

You have restored my faith in man! lol

Have a nice day!

Bman

p.s. You know what a cigarette "load" is... it looks like a piece of
rice, you sneak it into the tip of a cigarette and when it lights...it
blows the end of the cigarette up.

hehehe

I already suggest that and got accused of domestic abuse but a snob troll
"Prozack" wrote in message
oups.com...

CatNipped wrote:

OK, didn't we go over this territory a while back? DH *likes* it when I
show him my ass, it's quite a nice ass! ;

Hugs,

CatNipped

ok, you got me! twoshay!

good luck kid. you have a good soul.

You have just made my day!!!!!

You have restored my faith in man! lol

Have a nice day!

Bman

p.s. You know what a cigarette "load" is... it looks like a piece of
rice, you sneak it into the tip of a cigarette and when it lights...it
blows the end of the cigarette up.

hehehe

Pamela Shirk wrote:
"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Pat" wrote in message
.. .


This is the *only* thing I've ever caught him lying about in 20 years!

and quitting
tobacco is quite a daunting proposition.


Please forgive him. Can you say that you never "fudged" the truth upon
occasion? I know I have. I'm sure that you've had the urge to light up
when under stress (just as all ex-smokers have) and you both are under a
great deal of stress right now. Just let him know that you are aware that
he's smoking and that he doesn't have to hide it any more and give the man
some peace. It will be a bigger guilt trip than any revenge that you could
ever think of.

Following from what Pam wrote....

Also get him to give you a time or date when he will stop again. It may
be a number type date, or a "when XXXX happens" sort of timing. Write
it down somewhere, let him know you aren't going to forget, and also
let him know you'll help him give up again. The drop it entirely. That
way, he knows you understand, are supportive, but on the same token,
aren't going to let him ruin his health forever.

It may well be that he needs the "time out" from all the people in his
house, and the cigarette gives him a few minutes all by himself. Men
and their caves and all that sort of stuff. Don't know how to address
that problem...perhaps he needs a shed?

Yowie

"Yowie" wrote in message
ups.com...
Pamela Shirk wrote:
"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Pat" wrote in message
.. .


This is the *only* thing I've ever caught him lying about in 20 years!

and quitting
tobacco is quite a daunting proposition.


Please forgive him. Can you say that you never "fudged" the truth upon
occasion? I know I have. I'm sure that you've had the urge to light up
when under stress (just as all ex-smokers have) and you both are under a
great deal of stress right now. Just let him know that you are aware
that
he's smoking and that he doesn't have to hide it any more and give the
man
some peace. It will be a bigger guilt trip than any revenge that you
could
ever think of.

Following from what Pam wrote....

Also get him to give you a time or date when he will stop again. It may
be a number type date, or a "when XXXX happens" sort of timing. Write
it down somewhere, let him know you aren't going to forget, and also
let him know you'll help him give up again. The drop it entirely. That
way, he knows you understand, are supportive, but on the same token,
aren't going to let him ruin his health forever.

Yep, that's where we left it... he'll quit when my daughter and
granddaughters are able to move out again - longer than I'd like since they
may be here for another year (unless FEMA comes through with a temporary
travel trailer). But I can certainly understand the stress factor of not
only the noise and commotion but the extra financial burden.


It may well be that he needs the "time out" from all the people in his
house, and the cigarette gives him a few minutes all by himself. Men
and their caves and all that sort of stuff. Don't know how to address
that problem...perhaps he needs a shed?

He has his office that is off-limits to everyone else, so he can go in
there, close the door, and watch professional wrestling on TV while playing
games on his computer.

Hugs,

CatNipped

Yowie

Yowie wrote:

Also get him to give you a time or date when he will stop again.
Yowie

good god woman like some of you ain't done spread your legs for another
man
get the frick off his case already! OTAY?

sicko
control freakazoid