[OT] Age Appropriate Dress?

and thick, large scar tissue is common on some ethnics (keloids). I dunno
about ears. I wouldn't call ears "facial" would you?

I dunno..I guess not, since when someone says a "facial piercing" I
think about eyebrows, lips, cheeks and noses, not ears.

I don't think kids should be getting piercings anyways, certainly not
before they're 13 and able to understand/consent to what they're doing
and the risks of scarring etc. With the possible exception of lobe
earrings, as those are culturally common, but I would still hope they
are the child's choice to have them done. I find it weird that my mom
had my ears pierced when I was 6 because no one could tell I was a
girl...she did it in an attempt to clarify what gender I was, even
though I had no interest in getting earrings at the time. It feels
liek something that was forcibly "Done to me," even though I came to
like having pierced ears when I was 10--which was about the same age as
I felt a desire to change my gender-ambiguous looks and grew my hair
long. (Then, when I was 13 and wanted a second set of earrings, she
kicked up such a fuss that I never did get it done. By the time I was
on my own, double lobe piercings were fairly common and therefore, I
opted for double helix, and the nose ring).

--Fil
Straight, but not feminine.

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2006-02-03, EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) penned:

and for GOD'S sake lose the "empire" waists that make even the
slimmest woman look fat and/or pregnant!)

Phew! I thought I was the only person who thought those things make
everyone look pregnant!

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

I can assure you that you aren't. I had to wear one of those as matron of
honor at my sister's wedding, and I hated it.

Joy

Enfilade wrote:
and thick, large scar tissue is common on some ethnics (keloids). I dunno
about ears. I wouldn't call ears "facial" would you?

I dunno..I guess not, since when someone says a "facial piercing" I
think about eyebrows, lips, cheeks and noses, not ears.

I don't think kids should be getting piercings anyways, certainly not
before they're 13 and able to understand/consent to what they're doing
and the risks of scarring etc. With the possible exception of lobe
earrings, as those are culturally common, but I would still hope they
are the child's choice to have them done. I find it weird that my mom
had my ears pierced when I was 6 because no one could tell I was a
girl...she did it in an attempt to clarify what gender I was, even
though I had no interest in getting earrings at the time. It feels
liek something that was forcibly "Done to me," even though I came to
like having pierced ears when I was 10--which was about the same age as
I felt a desire to change my gender-ambiguous looks and grew my hair
long. (Then, when I was 13 and wanted a second set of earrings, she
kicked up such a fuss that I never did get it done. By the time I was
on my own, double lobe piercings were fairly common and therefore, I
opted for double helix, and the nose ring).

--Fil
Straight, but not feminine.

Ha. I relate, Fil, to the reasons of gender clarification. I have
always worn my hair long and worn earrings, because with my figure, I
always thought I'd be mistaken for a boy.

Sherry

"Yoj" wrote:

I can assure you that you aren't. I had to wear one of those as matron of
honor at my sister's wedding, and I hated it.

Well, didn't it make you look "matronly"? ducking and running

--

Wayne M.

"Wayne Mitchell" wrote in message
news
"Yoj" wrote:

I can assure you that you aren't. I had to wear one of those as matron
of
honor at my sister's wedding, and I hated it.

Well, didn't it make you look "matronly"? ducking and running

--

Wayne M.

LOL! Actually, I wasn't worrying about how it looked that day, because I
was too busy struggling to breathe. Although I hadn't yet been diagnosed, I
was having an asthma attack. I didn't want to spoil my sister's wedding or
reception, so I didn't say anything until we were ready to leave. Then my
husband took me to Emergency.

Joy

LOL! Actually, I wasn't worrying about how it looked that day, because I
was too busy struggling to breathe. Although I hadn't yet been diagnosed,
I
was having an asthma attack. I didn't want to spoil my sister's wedding
or
reception, so I didn't say anything until we were ready to leave. Then my
husband took me to Emergency.
Joy

That must have been a fun wedding (NOT) for you! With that dress
throttling you under your diaphragm......I used to see those "empire-waist"
dresses mainly on small girls and in period movies (like French Revolution,
etc., famous British love stories) but now they're in serial tv shows and
popular for wedding attendants attire. But my fave for strange costuming
of USA running the streets was the 60's, when fashion ranged from
peasant-raggedy hippie-look to what you see portrayed in all the
Austin Powers movies (yes, I wore it and looked good in it).....and
everyone wanted to be British, me included.

"Yoj" wrote in message
. com...
"Wayne Mitchell" wrote in message
news
"Yoj" wrote:

I can assure you that you aren't. I had to wear one of those as matron
of
honor at my sister's wedding, and I hated it.

Well, didn't it make you look "matronly"? ducking and running

--

Wayne M.

LOL! Actually, I wasn't worrying about how it looked that day, because I
was too busy struggling to breathe. Although I hadn't yet been diagnosed,
I
was having an asthma attack. I didn't want to spoil my sister's wedding
or
reception, so I didn't say anything until we were ready to leave. Then my
husband took me to Emergency.

Joy



A cup of strong black coffee can be a real help in a situation like that.
It contains drugs that are similar to theophylin that help open up the
lungs. Proper treatment is better of course, but coffee can be a real help
in the mean time.

Jo

"Jo Firey" wrote in message
...

"Yoj" wrote in message
. com...
"Wayne Mitchell" wrote in message
news
"Yoj" wrote:

I can assure you that you aren't. I had to wear one of those as
matron
of
honor at my sister's wedding, and I hated it.

Well, didn't it make you look "matronly"? ducking and running

--

Wayne M.

LOL! Actually, I wasn't worrying about how it looked that day, because
I
was too busy struggling to breathe. Although I hadn't yet been
diagnosed,
I
was having an asthma attack. I didn't want to spoil my sister's wedding
or
reception, so I didn't say anything until we were ready to leave. Then
my
husband took me to Emergency.

Joy



A cup of strong black coffee can be a real help in a situation like that.
It contains drugs that are similar to theophylin that help open up the
lungs. Proper treatment is better of course, but coffee can be a real
help
in the mean time.

Jo

Thanks I'll try to remember that for future reference. And if I get in a
situation where it is needed and possible, I'll try to drink it. I don't
like coffee, and on the rare occasions I do drink it, I usually load it with
sugar and cream, so I'd have a hard time getting it down. It would, of
course, be worth it, if it helped. Fortunately, since I've been taking
Singular regularly, I almost never have asthma attacks any more. I haven't
had a really bad one in years, and that was before (just before, actually) I
started taking the Singulair.

Joy

Cheryl Perkins wrote:

you're using a narrow definition of 'judgement' which seems to be
based on the idea that one person can never think or say that
something another person is doing is wrong or inappropriate.

No, I'm not saying that. I do make judgements when I think someone
is doing something harmful, dishonest, disrespectful, etc, either to
me, or to someone else (including animals, of course!!).

So, to use your example, if someone were to wear torn, dirty clothes
to a traditional funeral, I'd have a judgement about that, because I'd
feel it was disrespectful toward the mourners of the deceased, and I'd
feel bad for them. I would think it was wrong of the wearer to show up
at such a gathering dressed in a way that might feel insulting or
hurtful to people who are grieving.

I make judgements about behavior when somebody does something that is
bad for me or for someone else. I use my own definition of "bad", of
course, and it might not correspond precisely with yours. It generally
includes things like harm to someone's body or psyche (ie, abuse or
violence), violation of another's boundaries (anything from physical
harm, to theft, to restraining someone, curtailing their freedom),
dishonesty (including manipulation, outright lies, most lies of omission,
and so on), treating someone disrespectfully, harmful neglect.

And I'm sure there are many other things, but I can't come up with a
comprehensive list off the top of my head. So if you say, "Well, what
about X?" I'll probably say, "Yeah, and X, too."

But if someone's just doing their own thing and not hurting anyone,
then no, I don't make judgements about it. I make a distinction between
doing *harm* or being hurtful (the above list) and causing discomfort
in others as a result of their not liking who you are. I'm sorry, but
we can't live our lives trying to accomodate everyone's every little
sensibility. We'd all be paralyzed! I think that's co-dependent and
not healthy. No matter what you do, what you enjoy, how you express
who you are, there are going to be people who dislike it. That's life.

For example, if someone is openly gay, that might make some people
uncomfortable, because they're not comfortable with homosexuality. I
don't judge the gay person for this - it's the homophobic people's
problem. I think people should be able to be who they are, and do what
they please, as long as they're not violating other people's human
rights, safety, informed consent about participating, and so on.

I might have a *feeling* about something a person does, but if they're
not hurting anyone, then that's my problem. If they asked for my honest
opinion, I might answer truthfully, depending on the circumstances, but
otherwise I'd stay out of it. Furthermore, I would not believe, or say
to anyone else, that the person *shouldn't* be doing it (eg, wearing
something I think is ugly, enjoying music I think is horrible, decorating
their house with what I consider hideous objects, etc).

Again, a judgement, to me, is "YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING THAT". This
applies to all actions that I think are harmful, dishonest, etc (which
I detailed above). It means I think the person is *wrong* for doing
them, and I think they should stop.

An opinion or response to something isn't a judgement, it's just my
personal experience of someone else's behavior. I'm entitled to that -
we all are. In fact, none of us can help having our reactions, can we?
But that doesn't mean I think the person I'm reacting to is *wrong* or
should stop.

Example:

An old woman with varicose veins and age spots all over her wrinkly,
flabby legs, who chooses to wear a miniskirt to the mall, is not
interfering with anyone's human rights, she's not treating anyone
disrespectfully, she's not being dishonest to anyone (at least with
respect to the miniskirt ) - so I have no judgement about it. I do
not think, "She shouldn't wear that," or "she should know better than
to go out in public like that." I might think she looks terrible, but
it doesn't matter whether I think she looks good or not. My personal
response is irrelevant.

we make judgements every day, all
the time. Judgements about when it's safe to cross the road, who we will
speak to, what tone and topic we will use in conversation, how we
interpret ambiguous statements made by others, whether the person
approaching us in the street is likely to be a mugger or a lost tourist,
whether the person at the reception desk in an office is the receptionist,
the computer repair person, or the company owner checking messages.

Sure. I didn't say that every kind of judgement is wrong. I just don't
see why we need to make negative *moral* judgements of people who are
merely expressing who they are in non-harmful, non-interfering ways. It's
really not anyone's business.

And I hope *that* makes it more clear!

Joyce

Adrian wrote:

Last year, I was walking along the beach and came across a _very_
large lady wearing a bikini. I was surprised and a little shoked at
first, then I thought, good for her, why worry what other people
think if you're comfortable, it certainly doesn't hurt anybody.

I think it was very courageous of her to do that, considering that many
people aren't as respectful as you were. You might have privately thought
she looked bad, but I guarantee she received comments from some clods who
were incapable of restraining their opinions.

Good for you, too!

Joyce