[OT] Age Appropriate Dress?

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

I'm certainly NOT saying you shouldn't wear "pretty"
clothes - just that large women should use a little common
sense when buying them.

Why "should" they, Evelyn? Why shouldn't they just wear what they
please? What laws are being broken, legal or ethical? And if you
answer, "aesthetic laws", that is your own subjective opinion. You
don't have a lock on what constitutes beauty. Nobody does.

Joyce

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:

IMO there's quite a difference between wearing a bright red party
dress to a conventional funeral and wearing a bright red dress for a
special occasion (but you just happen to be fat).

YES!!!

Joyce

dnr wrote:

I've seen their ads. I used to live near there and work very near the
park that HS was in (in 80's). Used to spend fun hours after work

Coyote Point. That's a lovely park and has a nice panoramic view of
the Bay.

at Mills playing with remote-control cars with friends in a clearing
in that park.

Mills College, in Oakland? That's quite a hike from the SF Peninsula,
about 40 miles.

I just remembered something: in those days, in San Mateo, there
was a tiny "pet shop" right on ElCamino who (unknown to general
public and unadvertised) took in and housed indefinitely stray cats
locals would bring in to them that they'd encountered (not ferals).
The owners were a couple of middle-aged men. I wonder if that
pet shop is still there and still doing this kindness...guess not likely
after over 20 years now.

I haven't heard of it, but I don't live near there. (I'm closer to
Mills college, actually).

Joyce - glad to hear from current and former Bay Area residents from
time to time

dnr wrote:


That must have been a fun wedding (NOT) for you! With that dress
throttling you under your diaphragm......I used to see those "empire-waist"
dresses mainly on small girls and in period movies (like French Revolution,
etc., famous British love stories) but now they're in serial tv shows and
popular for wedding attendants attire. But my fave for strange costuming
of USA running the streets was the 60's, when fashion ranged from
peasant-raggedy hippie-look to what you see portrayed in all the
Austin Powers movies (yes, I wore it and looked good in it).....and
everyone wanted to be British, me included.

Well, actually the GENUINE "empire" waist can be quite
attractive (but does emphasize any midriff bulge you may
have). The gown fits tightly to just under the breasts,
then flows freely from there. Originally they were made of
very soft, gauze-like fabrics, and the ladies of Napoleon's
day used to dampen them so they would cling to every curve.
(Curves were pretty generous in those days, too - and of
course the courtesans who first wore them did not wear
underwear, so they were pretty revealing.) What they're
showing as "empire" these days was lifted from 1950's
maternity dresses. The waistline is higher than one's
natural waist, but it doesn't really fit closely, ANYWHERE.

Jo Firey wrote:
"Yoj" wrote in message
. com...
"Wayne Mitchell" wrote in message
news
"Yoj" wrote:

I can assure you that you aren't. I had to wear one of those as
matron of honor at my sister's wedding, and I hated it.

Well, didn't it make you look "matronly"? ducking and running

--

Wayne M.

LOL! Actually, I wasn't worrying about how it looked that day,
because I was too busy struggling to breathe. Although I hadn't yet
been diagnosed, I
was having an asthma attack. I didn't want to spoil my sister's
wedding or
reception, so I didn't say anything until we were ready to leave.
Then my husband took me to Emergency.

Joy



A cup of strong black coffee can be a real help in a situation like
that. It contains drugs that are similar to theophylin that help open
up the lungs. Proper treatment is better of course, but coffee can
be a real help in the mean time.

Jo

Also good chocolate, it contains theobromine which is part of the same
family.
--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera)
A House is not a home, without a cat.
http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk

Enfilade wrote:

All three graphic designers took the "technical" stream in high school
and went to college as opposed to university...They consider themselves
"skilled workers" as opposed to "Executives" and they're proud of it

Ah... kind of in a similar way to how typesetters, who now sit in
offices and use computers, used to work with metal type, which was a
blue-collar and unionized trade?

I'm not a fan of this kind of mother-child approach, though perhaps for
a biased reason. I almost died of a ruptured appendix when I was 14
because my mom didn't believe in "admitting weakness" and taking me to
a doctor. No, I was supposed to get over what was allegedly "PMS,
Cramps, A Tummyache Or Just You Being Dramatic" through my own strength
of will. I wasn't permitted painkillers like Tylenol or Aspirin
either.

This is outright abusive neglect, not to mention harmful to your
psyche. Nowadays, such neglect would probably prompt a visit from
child protective services!

That whole mentality, of it being a sin to admit weakness, is diametrically
opposed to everything I stand for and believe in. What a horrible world it
would be if everyone thought that way, and you could never say you were
afraid, or in pain, or tired, or overwhelmed by a difficult task, etc. I'd
probably be first in line to slit my wrists if that were the only world I
knew.

I'm very sorry that you went through childhood with those values imposed
on you. In some ways, perhaps you got tough because of it, but in others,
I would imagine you'd have trouble allowing yourself a break when you need
it. Not that I know how you are, of course. But I would expect that to
be a reasonable response to such an environment. So glad you survived, both
from the appendicitis, and from the cold emotional climate!

Was your mother from a strict Calvinist type of background or something?

Joyce

Jane wrote:

Is my NAAFA membership showing? lol I hang out with a bunch of fat-
acceptance folks in the DC area, and they're a great group, I tell you.
We have all sorts, good and bad. (A lot of cat lovers, too)

I'm on the fringes of NAAFA, too. Not a full-fleged member, but I have
attended their functions. I used to be a member of the Feminist Caucus
and was responsible for the monthly newsletter for a couple of years.
Went to almost all their conventions.

Where I live there's a lot of fat-acceptance activity, so I can get a
shot of support whenever the general culture's thinness obsession starts
getting to me. But I've been doing it for many years, so I think some of
that positive attitude has sunk in pretty deep - yay!

I'm fond of the slogan "Riots not Diets".

Joyce

wrote in message
...
Cheryl Perkins wrote:

you're using a narrow definition of 'judgement' which seems to be
based on the idea that one person can never think or say that
something another person is doing is wrong or inappropriate.

No, I'm not saying that. I do make judgements when I think someone
is doing something harmful, dishonest, disrespectful, etc, either to
me, or to someone else (including animals, of course!!).


The most simply I've ever heard this put was by a toddler who was being
criticized for sucking his thumb. His response "Hurts you?"

Jo

Enfilade wrote:

Here's an example. I've got a big, spiked hoop through the middle of
my nose. I bet that sounds unattractive to some of you, and frankly,
that's okay. I don't mind if you find that unappealing, and I don't
mind if you'd rather not look at someone with a big hoop in their nose.

I agree with you here and I feel the same about my own fashion choices.

I even don't mind if you are my boss and ask me not to wear my nose
ring to work. There's the question of appropriateness, and if you're
boss of a business that's catering to, say, elderly people, and my
nosering projects the wrong image, then it's perfectly understandable
that you'd ask me not to wear it to work.

Ditto. Makes total sense.

What gets me going is the implication that I shouldn't wear my nose
ring /anywhere at all/, even if my wearing of it is not against any
rules, just because someone might not like seeing a person with a spike
in her nose.

Well, you can't please everyone, can you? No matter what you wear or
what style you adopt, somebody's going to have a negative reaction.
But that's not your problem!

There are other people who DO like seeing it, and still
more people who don't care.

What constitutes beauty isn't a consensus. There are many different kinds
of taste and aesthetics out there. People who think there's one kind of
attractiveness, and then think people should exercise "common sense"
about it, are simply imposing their own standards on the world. There's
nothing "common" about taste - or sense.

No, I don't think my nose ring makes me look conventionally beautiful,
but I do like the way I look when I wear it.

Well, I think they look pretty cool, myself. My own style tends to be
more conservative, so I have no piercings (or tattoos), but I really
like it on others.

Joyce

I've seen their ads. I used to live near there and work very near the
park that HS was in (in 80's). Used to spend fun hours after work

Coyote Point. That's a lovely park and has a nice panoramic view of
the Bay.

at Mills playing with remote-control cars with friends in a clearing
in that park.

Mills College, in Oakland? That's quite a hike from the SF Peninsula,
about 40 miles.

(I'm closer to
Mills college, actually).

Joyce - glad to hear from current and former Bay Area residents from
time to time

Mills (now Mills/Peninsula) hospital. The only times I went to Oakland
was on BART which let you out right in the bargain basement of some
big store (I think called Emporium-Capwell) where dirt-cheap bargains
were to be had; I bought a lot of funky 80's clothes/shoes there
(remember Flashdance raggedy knitwear? LOL). We lived way
down on Peninsula near SanJose and did most shopping around there,
but I did go to Jack London Square once; also saw the Estuary with
all those wierd iron artworks.