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merging households



 
 
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  #11  
Old April 10th 04, 11:21 PM
MaryL
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"Adam Rice" wrote in message
om...
My new wife and I are going to be merging our households soon. I have
one cat, she has two, and we're anticipating some feline
disagreements.

My cat is a crotchety old female who mostly ignores other cats, but
has no compunction about beating them up when they get in her
face--she has her claws and never fails to use them.

Her older cat is declawed, and insists on being queen of all she
surveys. She's pretty stiff and would not really be able to hold up in
a fight.

Her younger cat, though big, male, and with claws, is happy to be a
doormat.

I'm worried that her older cat will try to assert dominance over my
cat, and get her butt kicked repeatedly and severely. At this point,
they've never been introduced to each other.

I'd be most grateful for any tips on keeping this from happening.


Here are my suggestions. This worked very well when I adopted Duffy and
brought him into my home where Holly was used to being "queen of her
domain."

(1) Take lots of time. Plan to keep them in separate rooms for several
weeks. Give the new cat several days to adjust to the room, then set aside
some time each day when you place the resident cats in one room and let the
new cat out. Let her wander around the house to become acclimated to it and
also to spread her scent around.
(2) Make the new cat as comfortable as possible. Alternate spending time
with the new cat and the resident cats -- and lavish lots of petting and
love on the other cat(s) as you enter or leave the room. Have food, water,
litter box, and several toys in the room with the new cat. Play the radio
at a low-to-moderate volume with classical or easy listening music -- it has
a soothing effect and will keep her company.
(3) Take it *very* slow before you try to bring the cats into physical
contact, especially under the circumstances you describe.
(3) If possible, after two or three weeks you should temporarily replace the
door to the room with the new cat with a screen door or one with a mesh
panel at the bottom. This will enable the cats to get acquainted without
any possibility of fights. You will probably notice some nervousness or
aggression at first, but it will slowly change to curiosity and then
interest. Try to allow enough space under the door so you can place a
platter under the door with tuna fish or some other "treat" on both sides.
That way, the cats will become accustomed to eating in close proximity. If
you will look at some of the pictures in the first album under my signature,
you will see pictures of how I introduced Duffy and Holly. My cat, Holly,
had always been very aggressive toward any other cat, and we even called her
"the black tornado." This slow, careful introduction worked. I took a full
6 weeks, but they are now very companionable.
(4) Place several Feliway diffusers in your house -- one in the room with
the new cat and one or two in locations where the other cats spend a lot of
time. Feliway has a calming effect, and the plug-in diffusers release
pre-measured amounts. They are refillable. Each refill lasts a little more
than one month.

Good luck! This can be done and will be well worth the time it takes.

MaryL
(take out the litter to reply)

Photos of Duffy and Holly: 'o'
http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly)
http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in")




  #12  
Old April 11th 04, 02:32 AM
MaryL
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"Adam Rice" wrote in message
om...
My new wife and I are going to be merging our households soon. I have
one cat, she has two, and we're anticipating some feline
disagreements.


One additional point (in addition to the fact that I posted two "item 3's"
in my previous message: Leave the door open for a short time each evening
(beginning a few days after you install the screen door), and gradually
increase the amount of time each evening. Gradually give all of the cats the
run of the house, but only under supervision for some time. Watch carefully
to be sure all of the cats get along well together before you take down the
screen door and give the cats complete freedom in the house (together).

To reiterate: don't try to rush things.

MaryL


  #13  
Old April 11th 04, 02:32 AM
MaryL
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"Adam Rice" wrote in message
om...
My new wife and I are going to be merging our households soon. I have
one cat, she has two, and we're anticipating some feline
disagreements.


One additional point (in addition to the fact that I posted two "item 3's"
in my previous message: Leave the door open for a short time each evening
(beginning a few days after you install the screen door), and gradually
increase the amount of time each evening. Gradually give all of the cats the
run of the house, but only under supervision for some time. Watch carefully
to be sure all of the cats get along well together before you take down the
screen door and give the cats complete freedom in the house (together).

To reiterate: don't try to rush things.

MaryL


  #14  
Old April 14th 04, 06:47 PM
Adam Rice
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Thanks for all the advice--sorry I didn't follow up sooner, but things
have been busy around here.

For whatever it's worth, my wife is moving into my house.

One problem I foresee with isolating the cats is that her female has a
pathological case of Other Side Of The Door syndrome, and once tore
open a pad on her foot from pawing at a closed door.
  #15  
Old April 14th 04, 06:47 PM
Adam Rice
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Thanks for all the advice--sorry I didn't follow up sooner, but things
have been busy around here.

For whatever it's worth, my wife is moving into my house.

One problem I foresee with isolating the cats is that her female has a
pathological case of Other Side Of The Door syndrome, and once tore
open a pad on her foot from pawing at a closed door.
  #16  
Old April 14th 04, 09:42 PM
Karen
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"Adam Rice" wrote in message
om...
Thanks for all the advice--sorry I didn't follow up sooner, but things
have been busy around here.

For whatever it's worth, my wife is moving into my house.

One problem I foresee with isolating the cats is that her female has a
pathological case of Other Side Of The Door syndrome, and once tore
open a pad on her foot from pawing at a closed door.


That might not be as prevelant in a new situation as it would if you were
moving into hers and she was in a room. What was the situation where this
happened?

karen


  #17  
Old April 14th 04, 09:42 PM
Karen
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Adam Rice" wrote in message
om...
Thanks for all the advice--sorry I didn't follow up sooner, but things
have been busy around here.

For whatever it's worth, my wife is moving into my house.

One problem I foresee with isolating the cats is that her female has a
pathological case of Other Side Of The Door syndrome, and once tore
open a pad on her foot from pawing at a closed door.


That might not be as prevelant in a new situation as it would if you were
moving into hers and she was in a room. What was the situation where this
happened?

karen


 




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