IBKFergus update

Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

Integration.

My dear sweet Shmogg. Cat of famous grump and B*st*rd C*t tricks. Hallway
Troll. Attacks ankles at every opportunity. At least 6 full kilos of
Cattitude. Terrified of a wee small kitten. Now runs and hides at mere sight
of Hell on Four Paws, aka IBKFergus.

Fluffy, a loyal, if not so bright, companion. Wagger of tail in the face of
adversity, killer of socks, moocher of food. Now merely another kitten
plaything. Happy (as always) to be so.

Cary, my precious son. Drooler supreme, bounc-o-matic fiend, rug-rat of
doom. Grabs and gums indiscrimately. Victim of kitten's obsession with
ankles. Laugher at kitten antics. Kitten's soul brother.

Joel, loving husband, couch grouch. Namer of kitten, curser of kitten.
Kitten's nemesis and wielder of the Squirty Thing of Death. Kitten's
favourite shoulder ride.

Vicky, hapless cat slave. Feeder and provider of all things kitten. Cleaner
of all things kitten. Fixer of all things Kittened. Main victim of Kitten
antics. Have kitten claw and teeth marks all over body. Left ear
particularly favoured by kitten for licking and purring loudly into.

IBKFergus, small black kitten. Utterly Fearless. Consequently, quite stupid
due to total lack of fear of *anything*. Will fall great heights in single
bound if we haven't grabbed him already. Will attack 6kg worth of grumpy
adult male cat without any idea of the consequences if grumpy adult male cat
decided to attack back (Shmogg, the balless wonder). Has crawled into great
gaping maw of doggy mouth, that could well have kittens twice his size for
breakfast. Continues to flirt with death around Cary's great grab-and-gob
policy. Likes lurking on black objects so great bumbling hoomins
inadvertantly steps or trips over him because we didn't see him in time.
Climbs up hoomins whether clothed or not to get shoulder rides. Manages to
get into Cary's cot (we still don't know how) to attack his ankles whilst
asleep. Thinks doggy tail is for chasing. In fact, thinks *everything* is
for chasing. Occasionally catches own tail and meows in pain. Still chases
own tail. Has been locked in fridge. Has gotten stuck behind toilet. Has got
lost in lounge. Has got stuck behind bookcase. Has got stuck on top of
bookcase. Dissappears for hours then appears with cobwebs all over him.
Now has proper round kitten belly. May well continue to have round belly if
keeps eating like a little piggy. Only has two modes: full ahead and full
stop. Knows damn well how to do "cute and adorable" to get out of trouble.

Shmogg took up spraying for a while, and we had the inevitable hisspits, but
it seems IBKFergus's complete lack of fear has meant that Shmogg has had to
back down, and is no longer Ruler of the House. I think perhaps that he has
found his successor, and is passing on his mantle of B*st*rd C*t to a
younger, more agile individual, so he can retire and spend his days as a
happy purring lap fungus rather than having to spend his days plotting and
scheming. I do expect one or two more B*st*rd C*t tricks, just so the
youngster can get the knack of torturing the hoomins, but I think IBKFergus
is otherwise settling into his role as B*st*rd C*t, and Shmogg will happily
retire to a consulting role.

Yowie

Very entertaining! Thanks for sharing.

On 2005-01-11, Yowie penned:
Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

--
monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*

Ahh, yes I remember! Great post Yowie! Sounds like things are
settling down very nicely at Casa del Wollongong.
Schmogg is having the same kind of reaction that Ted did when first
Columbine and then Spock'n'Persephone came along - initial horror and
then a kind of resignation. It's only taken 2 years, but they all now
coexist quite peacefully.

I hope you're recovered from what was ailing you the other day.

Tish

On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 12:42:30 +1100, "Yowie"
wrote:

Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

Integration.

[regretfully snipped]

LOL! Especially about Shmogg.

Joy

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

Integration.

My dear sweet Shmogg. Cat of famous grump and B*st*rd C*t tricks. Hallway
Troll. Attacks ankles at every opportunity. At least 6 full kilos of
Cattitude. Terrified of a wee small kitten. Now runs and hides at mere
sight
of Hell on Four Paws, aka IBKFergus.

Fluffy, a loyal, if not so bright, companion. Wagger of tail in the face
of
adversity, killer of socks, moocher of food. Now merely another kitten
plaything. Happy (as always) to be so.

Cary, my precious son. Drooler supreme, bounc-o-matic fiend, rug-rat of
doom. Grabs and gums indiscrimately. Victim of kitten's obsession with
ankles. Laugher at kitten antics. Kitten's soul brother.

Joel, loving husband, couch grouch. Namer of kitten, curser of kitten.
Kitten's nemesis and wielder of the Squirty Thing of Death. Kitten's
favourite shoulder ride.

Vicky, hapless cat slave. Feeder and provider of all things kitten.
Cleaner
of all things kitten. Fixer of all things Kittened. Main victim of Kitten
antics. Have kitten claw and teeth marks all over body. Left ear
particularly favoured by kitten for licking and purring loudly into.

IBKFergus, small black kitten. Utterly Fearless. Consequently, quite
stupid
due to total lack of fear of *anything*. Will fall great heights in single
bound if we haven't grabbed him already. Will attack 6kg worth of grumpy
adult male cat without any idea of the consequences if grumpy adult male
cat
decided to attack back (Shmogg, the balless wonder). Has crawled into
great
gaping maw of doggy mouth, that could well have kittens twice his size for
breakfast. Continues to flirt with death around Cary's great grab-and-gob
policy. Likes lurking on black objects so great bumbling hoomins
inadvertantly steps or trips over him because we didn't see him in time.
Climbs up hoomins whether clothed or not to get shoulder rides. Manages to
get into Cary's cot (we still don't know how) to attack his ankles whilst
asleep. Thinks doggy tail is for chasing. In fact, thinks *everything* is
for chasing. Occasionally catches own tail and meows in pain. Still chases
own tail. Has been locked in fridge. Has gotten stuck behind toilet. Has
got
lost in lounge. Has got stuck behind bookcase. Has got stuck on top of
bookcase. Dissappears for hours then appears with cobwebs all over him.
Now has proper round kitten belly. May well continue to have round belly
if
keeps eating like a little piggy. Only has two modes: full ahead and full
stop. Knows damn well how to do "cute and adorable" to get out of trouble.

Shmogg took up spraying for a while, and we had the inevitable hisspits,
but
it seems IBKFergus's complete lack of fear has meant that Shmogg has had
to
back down, and is no longer Ruler of the House. I think perhaps that he
has
found his successor, and is passing on his mantle of B*st*rd C*t to a
younger, more agile individual, so he can retire and spend his days as a
happy purring lap fungus rather than having to spend his days plotting and
scheming. I do expect one or two more B*st*rd C*t tricks, just so the
youngster can get the knack of torturing the hoomins, but I think
IBKFergus
is otherwise settling into his role as B*st*rd C*t, and Shmogg will
happily
retire to a consulting role.

Yowie

Only another cat lover would find the following kitten behavior commentary
absolutely charming and envy you the experience. Welcome to our world
Fergus.

Jo
"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

Integration.

My dear sweet Shmogg. Cat of famous grump and B*st*rd C*t tricks. Hallway
Troll. Attacks ankles at every opportunity. At least 6 full kilos of
Cattitude. Terrified of a wee small kitten. Now runs and hides at mere
sight
of Hell on Four Paws, aka IBKFergus.

Fluffy, a loyal, if not so bright, companion. Wagger of tail in the face
of
adversity, killer of socks, moocher of food. Now merely another kitten
plaything. Happy (as always) to be so.

Cary, my precious son. Drooler supreme, bounc-o-matic fiend, rug-rat of
doom. Grabs and gums indiscrimately. Victim of kitten's obsession with
ankles. Laugher at kitten antics. Kitten's soul brother.

Joel, loving husband, couch grouch. Namer of kitten, curser of kitten.
Kitten's nemesis and wielder of the Squirty Thing of Death. Kitten's
favourite shoulder ride.

Vicky, hapless cat slave. Feeder and provider of all things kitten.
Cleaner
of all things kitten. Fixer of all things Kittened. Main victim of Kitten
antics. Have kitten claw and teeth marks all over body. Left ear
particularly favoured by kitten for licking and purring loudly into.

IBKFergus, small black kitten. Utterly Fearless. Consequently, quite
stupid
due to total lack of fear of *anything*. Will fall great heights in single
bound if we haven't grabbed him already. Will attack 6kg worth of grumpy
adult male cat without any idea of the consequences if grumpy adult male
cat
decided to attack back (Shmogg, the balless wonder). Has crawled into
great
gaping maw of doggy mouth, that could well have kittens twice his size for
breakfast. Continues to flirt with death around Cary's great grab-and-gob
policy. Likes lurking on black objects so great bumbling hoomins
inadvertantly steps or trips over him because we didn't see him in time.
Climbs up hoomins whether clothed or not to get shoulder rides. Manages to
get into Cary's cot (we still don't know how) to attack his ankles whilst
asleep. Thinks doggy tail is for chasing. In fact, thinks *everything* is
for chasing. Occasionally catches own tail and meows in pain. Still chases
own tail. Has been locked in fridge. Has gotten stuck behind toilet. Has
got
lost in lounge. Has got stuck behind bookcase. Has got stuck on top of
bookcase. Dissappears for hours then appears with cobwebs all over him.
Now has proper round kitten belly. May well continue to have round belly
if
keeps eating like a little piggy. Only has two modes: full ahead and full
stop. Knows damn well how to do "cute and adorable" to get out of trouble.

Shmogg took up spraying for a while, and we had the inevitable hisspits,
but
it seems IBKFergus's complete lack of fear has meant that Shmogg has had
to
back down, and is no longer Ruler of the House. I think perhaps that he
has
found his successor, and is passing on his mantle of B*st*rd C*t to a
younger, more agile individual, so he can retire and spend his days as a
happy purring lap fungus rather than having to spend his days plotting and
scheming. I do expect one or two more B*st*rd C*t tricks, just so the
youngster can get the knack of torturing the hoomins, but I think
IBKFergus
is otherwise settling into his role as B*st*rd C*t, and Shmogg will
happily
retire to a consulting role.

Yowie

Yowie wrote:
Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

Integration.

My dear sweet Shmogg. Cat of famous grump and B*st*rd C*t tricks.
Hallway Troll. Attacks ankles at every opportunity. At least 6 full
kilos of Cattitude. Terrified of a wee small kitten. Now runs and
hides at mere sight of Hell on Four Paws, aka IBKFergus.

LOL! I have never been around a kitten but I can assure you Persia is
handful enough!

I love tales about IBKFergus And Shmogg and Fluffy, and Cary and DH too,
of course!

Jill

Fluffy, a loyal, if not so bright, companion. Wagger of tail in the
face of adversity, killer of socks, moocher of food. Now merely
another kitten plaything. Happy (as always) to be so.

Cary, my precious son. Drooler supreme, bounc-o-matic fiend, rug-rat
of doom. Grabs and gums indiscrimately. Victim of kitten's obsession
with ankles. Laugher at kitten antics. Kitten's soul brother.

Joel, loving husband, couch grouch. Namer of kitten, curser of kitten.
Kitten's nemesis and wielder of the Squirty Thing of Death. Kitten's
favourite shoulder ride.

Vicky, hapless cat slave. Feeder and provider of all things kitten.
Cleaner of all things kitten. Fixer of all things Kittened. Main
victim of Kitten antics. Have kitten claw and teeth marks all over
body. Left ear particularly favoured by kitten for licking and
purring loudly into.

IBKFergus, small black kitten. Utterly Fearless. Consequently, quite
stupid due to total lack of fear of *anything*. Will fall great
heights in single bound if we haven't grabbed him already. Will
attack 6kg worth of grumpy adult male cat without any idea of the
consequences if grumpy adult male cat decided to attack back (Shmogg,
the balless wonder). Has crawled into great gaping maw of doggy
mouth, that could well have kittens twice his size for breakfast.
Continues to flirt with death around Cary's great grab-and-gob
policy. Likes lurking on black objects so great bumbling hoomins
inadvertantly steps or trips over him because we didn't see him in
time. Climbs up hoomins whether clothed or not to get shoulder rides.
Manages to get into Cary's cot (we still don't know how) to attack
his ankles whilst asleep. Thinks doggy tail is for chasing. In fact,
thinks *everything* is for chasing. Occasionally catches own tail and
meows in pain. Still chases own tail. Has been locked in fridge. Has
gotten stuck behind toilet. Has got lost in lounge. Has got stuck
behind bookcase. Has got stuck on top of bookcase. Dissappears for
hours then appears with cobwebs all over him.
Now has proper round kitten belly. May well continue to have round
belly if keeps eating like a little piggy. Only has two modes: full
ahead and full stop. Knows damn well how to do "cute and adorable" to
get out of trouble.

Shmogg took up spraying for a while, and we had the inevitable
hisspits, but it seems IBKFergus's complete lack of fear has meant
that Shmogg has had to back down, and is no longer Ruler of the
House. I think perhaps that he has found his successor, and is
passing on his mantle of B*st*rd C*t to a younger, more agile
individual, so he can retire and spend his days as a happy purring
lap fungus rather than having to spend his days plotting and
scheming. I do expect one or two more B*st*rd C*t tricks, just so the
youngster can get the knack of torturing the hoomins, but I think
IBKFergus is otherwise settling into his role as B*st*rd C*t, and
Shmogg will happily retire to a consulting role.

Yowie

I'm sure Shmogg is a fan of Douglas Adams.

First is was Fluffy, then Cary, and now IBKFergus.

They are all, as much as catly possible, SEP.

Someone Else's Problem.

Since they are SEP, he doesn't have to acknowledge their existance. When
they are *directly* bothering him, he might hisss or swat, but otherwise he
can safely go about his business knowing if they do exist at all, they are
someone else's problem - usually mine - and can get on with his catly duties
without worrying about what may or may not exist in someone else's reality.

Yowie

"Tish Silberbauer" wrote in message
...
Ahh, yes I remember! Great post Yowie! Sounds like things are
settling down very nicely at Casa del Wollongong.
Schmogg is having the same kind of reaction that Ted did when first
Columbine and then Spock'n'Persephone came along - initial horror and
then a kind of resignation. It's only taken 2 years, but they all now
coexist quite peacefully.

I hope you're recovered from what was ailing you the other day.

Tish

On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 12:42:30 +1100, "Yowie"
wrote:

Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

Integration.

[regretfully snipped]

What a great read! Thanks Yowie! Now I want a kitten...


--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

Yowie wrote:
Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.


LOL! Great update, Yowie.


--
Marina, Frank and Nikki
marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/
and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki

Wow -- that little stinker has all wrapped around his paw -- sounds like a
very happy acquisition.
Christine
"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Ah, life with a kitten. I had forgotten.

Integration.

My dear sweet Shmogg. Cat of famous grump and B*st*rd C*t tricks. Hallway
Troll. Attacks ankles at every opportunity. At least 6 full kilos of
Cattitude. Terrified of a wee small kitten. Now runs and hides at mere
sight
of Hell on Four Paws, aka IBKFergus.

Fluffy, a loyal, if not so bright, companion. Wagger of tail in the face
of
adversity, killer of socks, moocher of food. Now merely another kitten
plaything. Happy (as always) to be so.

Cary, my precious son. Drooler supreme, bounc-o-matic fiend, rug-rat of
doom. Grabs and gums indiscrimately. Victim of kitten's obsession with
ankles. Laugher at kitten antics. Kitten's soul brother.

Joel, loving husband, couch grouch. Namer of kitten, curser of kitten.
Kitten's nemesis and wielder of the Squirty Thing of Death. Kitten's
favourite shoulder ride.

Vicky, hapless cat slave. Feeder and provider of all things kitten.
Cleaner
of all things kitten. Fixer of all things Kittened. Main victim of Kitten
antics. Have kitten claw and teeth marks all over body. Left ear
particularly favoured by kitten for licking and purring loudly into.

IBKFergus, small black kitten. Utterly Fearless. Consequently, quite
stupid
due to total lack of fear of *anything*. Will fall great heights in single
bound if we haven't grabbed him already. Will attack 6kg worth of grumpy
adult male cat without any idea of the consequences if grumpy adult male
cat
decided to attack back (Shmogg, the balless wonder). Has crawled into
great
gaping maw of doggy mouth, that could well have kittens twice his size for
breakfast. Continues to flirt with death around Cary's great grab-and-gob
policy. Likes lurking on black objects so great bumbling hoomins
inadvertantly steps or trips over him because we didn't see him in time.
Climbs up hoomins whether clothed or not to get shoulder rides. Manages to
get into Cary's cot (we still don't know how) to attack his ankles whilst
asleep. Thinks doggy tail is for chasing. In fact, thinks *everything* is
for chasing. Occasionally catches own tail and meows in pain. Still chases
own tail. Has been locked in fridge. Has gotten stuck behind toilet. Has
got
lost in lounge. Has got stuck behind bookcase. Has got stuck on top of
bookcase. Dissappears for hours then appears with cobwebs all over him.
Now has proper round kitten belly. May well continue to have round belly
if
keeps eating like a little piggy. Only has two modes: full ahead and full
stop. Knows damn well how to do "cute and adorable" to get out of trouble.

Shmogg took up spraying for a while, and we had the inevitable hisspits,
but
it seems IBKFergus's complete lack of fear has meant that Shmogg has had
to
back down, and is no longer Ruler of the House. I think perhaps that he
has
found his successor, and is passing on his mantle of B*st*rd C*t to a
younger, more agile individual, so he can retire and spend his days as a
happy purring lap fungus rather than having to spend his days plotting and
scheming. I do expect one or two more B*st*rd C*t tricks, just so the
youngster can get the knack of torturing the hoomins, but I think
IBKFergus
is otherwise settling into his role as B*st*rd C*t, and Shmogg will
happily
retire to a consulting role.

Yowie