Vet Tech Journals: Working interviews (very long sorry)

Mischief wrote:
I started to write a long response to this one and to your other
response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your
points.

But i'm tired......... I'm tired of dealing with this whole damn thing
It ****es me off and makes me depressed and makes me cry, but it's not
worth trying to argue.

I totally appreicate what you said and thank you for taking the time to
give me afvice. But I will saying the following points:

I'm sick and tired of trying to make people like me.

Well then stop. Nothing I posted said anything about "tring to make
people like you."

Yes I believe
that if people don't like me and I still have to work with them, fine I
can do that. Been there done that, I will do my part and be
professional. But in the past two jobs the other people have refused
to be professional. I have let things brush off and go on with what
i'm doing, but after several occurances one has to wonder if it is
personal. One rude comment is not going to influence me, but
continuous rude interactions and i doubt that even you would just stand
there and take it.

Again, it's prtobably a perception problem on your end.


I once had a class mate that would ride me and talk down to me all the
time. I brushed it off but still she continued. Nothing I did was
right in her eyes. I took it and swalllowed EVERYTHING she threw at
me. I even tried not looking at her cause i knew she would take it the
wrong way and do you know what happened? She came up and demanded that
I stop giving HER attitude when in reality i was doing EVERYTHING to
work with her.

It takes two to tango.


I won't get into the rest, but i ended up losing my temper, punching a
cabinet (the cabinet won) and my professor asked told me that while on
one hand I can't let things get to me, I should just stand there and
have people walk over me either.

Your advice is good and sound, but now i have to wonder why i feel
myself getting irked, defensive and teary eyed just from reading your
posts. I know YOU are not out to get me. You're only try to help me.
So why do i feel myself getting upset?

It's a good question to ask yourself. I am trying to help you - I have
BTDT so many years ago in a different setting, and I do have the
experience of working as a vet tech.


Why am i percieving your
responses as while helpful, harsh? Is it because you're another tech
and to me it seems you are siding with my previous employer to just
shut my mouth?

FWIW, I don't care what your other employer said to you. I am just
telling you what *I* know *I* have to do to get along in that sort of
work enviroment. I started out as an assistant and worked my way up to
primary groomer, then tech, then ward supervisor. I learned the hard
way how to interact with some of the people - some more difficult than
others - and some who had been there 25 years and could "do no wrong".
It's a tough setting and you have to kiss ass to get along sometimes.


Why am i reading it that way, cause that CAN'T be it. I
honestly don't understand and don't worry I don't expect you to answer.
I just know that i'm crying and can't understand why.......

Like I said, I'm tired.

My unemployment claim was denied for "disputing with my employer" You
probably agree since you said it was apparent. I didn't even
understand but you did and thank you for explaining it to me, I guess
i don't like hearing what i've been hearing all my life and have yet to
understand. I still though appreciate you advice and you do really seem
to me concerned and want to help me.

I am. Like I said what you have been doing hasn't worked, right? Once
you are feeling better, takle a self-assessment and see how you can
approach things differently.



Part of me wants to apologize to you over and over and say i hope you
don't take it personally

I take very little personally.


but another part of me just wants to argue
with your cause i don't feel you really understand as a fellow tech,

Therein lies your problem. Why argue with what I am saying? Sure, my
experiences are different, but not all that different. I was young
once, new kid on the block, cat fighting with other young women in the
lab. I felt like the victim, too. Eventually I just got tired of it
and started being nice to everyone - all the time - regardless of how
bitchy they were to me. You know what happened? One of my biggest
enemies became one of my best friends. I was a bridesmaid in her
wedding a year later. You *have to* take a different approach. Stop
being defensive, and stop arguing. Your mental health is worth more
than "being right".



and part of me wants to just delete this post and neither of them make
sense adn i'm rambling again....

So i'll go with what the rest of me wants to do......i'll just
stop.....cause it's just making me me cry more.....

I know i'm capable and that I'm in control. I can't make people like
me. Yet i feel like i've jumping through every hoop they put before
me. I brush it off, I do what I'm told, i keep my mouth shut and i
still get stomped on.

Are you really being stomped on, or do you just *think* you are being
stomped on? Is it possible that you are perceiving things that aren't
really there - like malice, hatred, vindictiveness, catiness?


I'm too tired to do anything anymore...... I've had enough of trying
to be myself and fitting in and getting along and not trying to be
defensive and trying to do my job and trying to listen and trying to
keep my mouth shut and trying to believe in myself and trying to
impress the doctor and trying to be professional but not being
overenergetic and trying to think about how i'm going to handle
this.....i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!.....

Tomorrow is another day.....


i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with......

Well, take care of yourself. Give it some distance and think about it
later when you are feeling better and everything isn't so raw and
fresh. I do wish the best for you - reading your journals has been a
trip down memory lane for me and I sort of feel like you are so sweet
and have so much promise - I hate it that you are having trouble
finding your niche. You will, someday. I can guarantee that. You are
just in a growth period now and change is difficult. Surrender to it.


-L.

Mischief wrote:
I started to write a long response to this one and to your other
response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your
points.

But i'm tired......... I'm tired of dealing with this whole damn thing
It ****es me off and makes me depressed and makes me cry, but it's not
worth trying to argue.

I totally appreicate what you said and thank you for taking the time to
give me afvice. But I will saying the following points:

I'm sick and tired of trying to make people like me.

Well then stop. Nothing I posted said anything about "tring to make
people like you."

Yes I believe
that if people don't like me and I still have to work with them, fine I
can do that. Been there done that, I will do my part and be
professional. But in the past two jobs the other people have refused
to be professional. I have let things brush off and go on with what
i'm doing, but after several occurances one has to wonder if it is
personal. One rude comment is not going to influence me, but
continuous rude interactions and i doubt that even you would just stand
there and take it.

Again, it's prtobably a perception problem on your end.


I once had a class mate that would ride me and talk down to me all the
time. I brushed it off but still she continued. Nothing I did was
right in her eyes. I took it and swalllowed EVERYTHING she threw at
me. I even tried not looking at her cause i knew she would take it the
wrong way and do you know what happened? She came up and demanded that
I stop giving HER attitude when in reality i was doing EVERYTHING to
work with her.

It takes two to tango.


I won't get into the rest, but i ended up losing my temper, punching a
cabinet (the cabinet won) and my professor asked told me that while on
one hand I can't let things get to me, I should just stand there and
have people walk over me either.

Your advice is good and sound, but now i have to wonder why i feel
myself getting irked, defensive and teary eyed just from reading your
posts. I know YOU are not out to get me. You're only try to help me.
So why do i feel myself getting upset?

It's a good question to ask yourself. I am trying to help you - I have
BTDT so many years ago in a different setting, and I do have the
experience of working as a vet tech.


Why am i percieving your
responses as while helpful, harsh? Is it because you're another tech
and to me it seems you are siding with my previous employer to just
shut my mouth?

FWIW, I don't care what your other employer said to you. I am just
telling you what *I* know *I* have to do to get along in that sort of
work enviroment. I started out as an assistant and worked my way up to
primary groomer, then tech, then ward supervisor. I learned the hard
way how to interact with some of the people - some more difficult than
others - and some who had been there 25 years and could "do no wrong".
It's a tough setting and you have to kiss ass to get along sometimes.


Why am i reading it that way, cause that CAN'T be it. I
honestly don't understand and don't worry I don't expect you to answer.
I just know that i'm crying and can't understand why.......

Like I said, I'm tired.

My unemployment claim was denied for "disputing with my employer" You
probably agree since you said it was apparent. I didn't even
understand but you did and thank you for explaining it to me, I guess
i don't like hearing what i've been hearing all my life and have yet to
understand. I still though appreciate you advice and you do really seem
to me concerned and want to help me.

I am. Like I said what you have been doing hasn't worked, right? Once
you are feeling better, takle a self-assessment and see how you can
approach things differently.



Part of me wants to apologize to you over and over and say i hope you
don't take it personally

I take very little personally.


but another part of me just wants to argue
with your cause i don't feel you really understand as a fellow tech,

Therein lies your problem. Why argue with what I am saying? Sure, my
experiences are different, but not all that different. I was young
once, new kid on the block, cat fighting with other young women in the
lab. I felt like the victim, too. Eventually I just got tired of it
and started being nice to everyone - all the time - regardless of how
bitchy they were to me. You know what happened? One of my biggest
enemies became one of my best friends. I was a bridesmaid in her
wedding a year later. You *have to* take a different approach. Stop
being defensive, and stop arguing. Your mental health is worth more
than "being right".



and part of me wants to just delete this post and neither of them make
sense adn i'm rambling again....

So i'll go with what the rest of me wants to do......i'll just
stop.....cause it's just making me me cry more.....

I know i'm capable and that I'm in control. I can't make people like
me. Yet i feel like i've jumping through every hoop they put before
me. I brush it off, I do what I'm told, i keep my mouth shut and i
still get stomped on.

Are you really being stomped on, or do you just *think* you are being
stomped on? Is it possible that you are perceiving things that aren't
really there - like malice, hatred, vindictiveness, catiness?


I'm too tired to do anything anymore...... I've had enough of trying
to be myself and fitting in and getting along and not trying to be
defensive and trying to do my job and trying to listen and trying to
keep my mouth shut and trying to believe in myself and trying to
impress the doctor and trying to be professional but not being
overenergetic and trying to think about how i'm going to handle
this.....i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!.....

Tomorrow is another day.....


i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with......

Well, take care of yourself. Give it some distance and think about it
later when you are feeling better and everything isn't so raw and
fresh. I do wish the best for you - reading your journals has been a
trip down memory lane for me and I sort of feel like you are so sweet
and have so much promise - I hate it that you are having trouble
finding your niche. You will, someday. I can guarantee that. You are
just in a growth period now and change is difficult. Surrender to it.


-L.

The Polish-Kraut wrote:
On 3 Sep 2006 17:46:33 -0700, "Mischief"
wrote:

I started to write a long response to this one and to your other
response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your
points.



SNIP

Useless dribble

SNIP

What in the hell is your problem ?!?!?!

*PLONK*

Hi Kristi,

(((((Hugs)))))

You're going through a rough patch. Try not to beat yourself up about
how people react to you. I know its easier said then done. When
you're feeling down and vulnerable, you get more affected by people
around you. Well at least I do any way. I've been reading your posts
and you really do come across as a nice person. If you can, try to
ignore those on this ng who lack tact and who feel it more important to
be right then to let things slide and give you a break.

Being a vet technician I assume that you work for private businesses as
opposed to big institutions like a university or the government. In my
experience and from what I've observed general rudeness and
unprofessional behaviour seems to occur more frequently in smaller
private business. Business owners and managers can sometimes treat
their staff like crap as they are in a more powerful position and the
other staff members have no one to complain to. Also work culture tends
to be set by the boss, so if your boss is unprofessional, others will
tend to act that way too.

Currently a friend of mine works for a small accounting firm and her
boss is incredibly rude to her and some of the other staff there.
Scowling, ignoring, routinely speaking in a condescending manner and
the occasional swearing. The few staff members that are buddy-buddy
with this boss are equally rude too. It's happened to myself and my
DH when we worked for small places. Not to say that this does not occur
with bigger institutions, however they usually have some official code
of conduct in the work place and if things get bad enough you can
usually complain to a series of people and hopefully something can be
implemented to resolve things.

So I guess I'm trying to say that if some of the people in your last 2
jobs were lousy. The size of the business and/or work culture will have
a lot to do with it.

Sleep, cat cuddles and blocking some peoples post may be in order.

Hugs again.

Dewi.

The Polish-Kraut wrote:

On 3 Sep 2006 17:46:33 -0700, "Mischief"
wrote:


I started to write a long response to this one and to your other
response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your
points.




SNIP

Useless dribble

SNIP

What in the hell is your problem ?!?!?!

What's YOURS? You've never posted here before, then show up
dissing one of our regular members! Why? (P-L-O-N-K!)

"Mischief" wrote in message
ps.com...
.....
i don't like hearing what i've been hearing all my life and have yet to
understand. ....
I know i'm capable and that I'm in control. I can't make people like me.
...... I've had enough of trying
to be myself and fitting in and getting along and not trying to be
defensive and trying to do my job and trying to listen and trying to
keep my mouth shut and trying to believe in myself and trying to impress
the doctor and trying to be professional but not being
overenergetic and trying to think about how i'm going to handle
this.....i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!.....
Kristi

Kristi,
I don't have any answers or magic solution for you, but I want you to know
that I enjoyed your vet tech journals immensely and I like the Kristi I got
to know through those journals.

I suppose that you might be too hard on yourself, and that in some cases,
what you hear is not what people are actually saying. It's kind of like
when you are in high school and you think everyone is looking at you. when
the real situation is that they are walking around too busy thinking
everyone is looking at them to be looking at you.

That can make you come across as defensive. If you misread what people are
saying, it will be as frustrating for them to deal with you as it is for you
to deal with them.

I also think your desire to please makes you an easy target for workplace
bullies. It sounds like you believe you have problems with everyone around
you, so you certainly are somehow part of the problem, whatever it is.
However, I suggest you Google with the words "workplace" and "bullies"
(without the quote marks). You will find many links about how to recognize
and deal with these situations people. What you learn probably will also
help you to look at your own behaviors and thoughts and make you also better
able to relate to those who are not bullies, but yet difficult for you to
work with.

You've completed a tough program and have been pushing hard. I think a good
sleep would be your best start.

I hope this helps.

Hugs
Annie

On 3 Sep 2006 17:46:33 -0700, "Mischief"
yodeled:

I started to write a long response to this one and to your other
response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your
points.

But i'm tired......... I'm tired of dealing with this whole damn thing
It ****es me off and makes me depressed and makes me cry, but it's not
worth trying to argue.

I totally appreicate what you said and thank you for taking the time to
give me afvice. But I will saying the following points:

I'm sick and tired of trying to make people like me. Yes I believe
that if people don't like me and I still have to work with them, fine I
can do that. Been there done that, I will do my part and be
professional. But in the past two jobs the other people have refused
to be professional. I have let things brush off and go on with what
i'm doing, but after several occurances one has to wonder if it is
personal. One rude comment is not going to influence me, but
continuous rude interactions and i doubt that even you would just stand
there and take it.

I once had a class mate that would ride me and talk down to me all the
time. I brushed it off but still she continued. Nothing I did was
right in her eyes. I took it and swalllowed EVERYTHING she threw at
me. I even tried not looking at her cause i knew she would take it the
wrong way and do you know what happened? She came up and demanded that
I stop giving HER attitude when in reality i was doing EVERYTHING to
work with her.

I won't get into the rest, but i ended up losing my temper, punching a
cabinet (the cabinet won) and my professor asked told me that while on
one hand I can't let things get to me, I should just stand there and
have people walk over me either.

Your advice is good and sound, but now i have to wonder why i feel
myself getting irked, defensive and teary eyed just from reading your
posts. I know YOU are not out to get me. You're only try to help me.
So why do i feel myself getting upset? Why am i percieving your
responses as while helpful, harsh? Is it because you're another tech
and to me it seems you are siding with my previous employer to just
shut my mouth? Why am i reading it that way, cause that CAN'T be it. I
honestly don't understand and don't worry I don't expect you to answer.
I just know that i'm crying and can't understand why.......

Like I said, I'm tired.

My unemployment claim was denied for "disputing with my employer" You
probably agree since you said it was apparent. I didn't even
understand but you did and thank you for explaining it to me, I guess
i don't like hearing what i've been hearing all my life and have yet to
understand. I still though appreciate you advice and you do really seem
to me concerned and want to help me.

Part of me wants to apologize to you over and over and say i hope you
don't take it personally but another part of me just wants to argue
with your cause i don't feel you really understand as a fellow tech,
and part of me wants to just delete this post and neither of them make
sense adn i'm rambling again....

So i'll go with what the rest of me wants to do......i'll just
stop.....cause it's just making me me cry more.....

I know i'm capable and that I'm in control. I can't make people like
me. Yet i feel like i've jumping through every hoop they put before
me. I brush it off, I do what I'm told, i keep my mouth shut and i
still get stomped on.

I'm too tired to do anything anymore...... I've had enough of trying
to be myself and fitting in and getting along and not trying to be
defensive and trying to do my job and trying to listen and trying to
keep my mouth shut and trying to believe in myself and trying to
impress the doctor and trying to be professional but not being
overenergetic and trying to think about how i'm going to handle
this.....i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!.....

Tomorrow is another day.....


i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with......


Kristi


(((((((((((Kristi))))))))))))))))))

Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

Make Levees, Not War