Update (OT) on John's Mom

They were supposed to fly out of Rochester the evening of 7/26 with a
connection in Chicago. But due to really bad weather (wind shears) in both
cities, the flights were cancelled. They got out of there yesterday, which
worked out better since it was an earlier flight. She's with him at his
studio now. He went to see her apartment at the nursing home today. I was
a bit surprised to hear the word "apartment". Guess I figured it would be
like a hospital room or something. (shrug) She has a bedroom, living room,
bath and kitchenette. Full time nursing care but not intrusively (if that
makes any sense). He has to get some furnishings (he'll bring some stuff
back from her house) but in the meantime will use some stuff from his rather
cluttered home

She'll be moving into her apartment some time next week. It will be an
adjustment for her, of course, since she lived in the Rochester house since
1940 or so.

Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal with the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along with it.

Jill
--
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...

Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal with
the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along with it.


Hoping all goes smoothly for all

helen s

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
They were supposed to fly out of Rochester the evening of 7/26 with a
connection in Chicago. But due to really bad weather (wind shears) in
both
cities, the flights were cancelled. They got out of there yesterday,
which
worked out better since it was an earlier flight. She's with him at his
studio now. He went to see her apartment at the nursing home today. I
was
a bit surprised to hear the word "apartment". Guess I figured it would be
like a hospital room or something. (shrug) She has a bedroom, living
room,
bath and kitchenette. Full time nursing care but not intrusively (if that
makes any sense). He has to get some furnishings (he'll bring some stuff
back from her house) but in the meantime will use some stuff from his
rather
cluttered home

She'll be moving into her apartment some time next week. It will be an
adjustment for her, of course, since she lived in the Rochester house
since
1940 or so.

Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal with
the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along with it.


The place she will be living sounds nice. Similar to where my mother spent
her last several years. Having some of her own furniture and things will
make it easier. Often at first the only real nursing care she should
require is someone to hand out her meds and someone keeping an eye on her.
Encouraging her to go to meals and making sure she is bathing etc.

We always dreaded the day, but Mom was mostly pretty happy. And when she
wasn't, she would quickly forget why.

Jo

Jo Firey wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
He went to see her apartment at the nursing home
today. I was
a bit surprised to hear the word "apartment". Guess I figured it
would be like a hospital room or something. (shrug) She has a
bedroom, living room,
bath and kitchenette. Full time nursing care but not intrusively
(if that makes any sense). He has to get some furnishings (he'll
bring some stuff back from her house) but in the meantime will use
some stuff from his rather
cluttered home

She'll be moving into her apartment some time next week. It will be
an adjustment for her, of course, since she lived in the Rochester
house since
1940 or so.

Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal
with the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along
with it.


The place she will be living sounds nice. Similar to where my mother
spent her last several years. Having some of her own furniture and
things will make it easier. Often at first the only real nursing
care she should require is someone to hand out her meds and someone
keeping an eye on her. Encouraging her to go to meals and making sure
she is bathing etc.

Thanks, Jo. Actually, the encouraging her to go to meals thing might be
tough. I've never met Gretchen but she simply doesn't *like* people and
John says she's always been like that. I'll have to ask if they will bring
her meal to her apartment in case she balks at communal dining.

She is (sorry to say) extremely prejudiced, forgetting all the while her own
family emigrated from Poland and she married a German. Not exactly Native
American, eh? She sometimes would talk with her neighbor Khan and his wife
(they are Thai) but for the most part rails about other people in very
derogatory terms (not publicly, thank goodness). It's sad and even John
doesn't understand what made her that way.

We always dreaded the day, but Mom was mostly pretty happy. And when
she wasn't, she would quickly forget why.

John's mom is actually quite cognizent. I don't think she has dementia so
much as she just gets very agitated or angry sometimes. She's always paid
her bills and such on time; she doesn't forget to do things like that. But
then again, like some altzheimers patients, she does tend to dwell in the
past. She's still going on about WWII, but not like it happened yesterday
(she knows it didn't). Or she'll bitch about the job (and her boss) from 25
years ago. Or when John takes her out to lunch, she bitches constantly
about his driving because "Once your father wasn't paying attention and if I
hadn't said something..." This to a guy who drives a big truck hundreds of
miles to do his art shows and hasn't had a wreck. Gets *herself* worked up,
you know?

I hope she'll be able to make a friend or two in this new place. It sounds
to me like she's led a very lonely existence for a long time. John's father
divorced her a long time ago. But that was a good thing in the long run; in
1981 John's father killed his stepmother and then committed suicide Nice
family. No wonder John got the hell out when he was 18. But he never gave
up on or abandoned either parent and for that I give him huge credit.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
They were supposed to fly out of Rochester the evening of 7/26 with a
connection in Chicago. But due to really bad weather (wind shears) in
both
cities, the flights were cancelled. They got out of there yesterday,
which
worked out better since it was an earlier flight. She's with him at his
studio now. He went to see her apartment at the nursing home today. I
was
a bit surprised to hear the word "apartment". Guess I figured it would be
like a hospital room or something. (shrug) She has a bedroom, living
room,
bath and kitchenette. Full time nursing care but not intrusively (if that
makes any sense). He has to get some furnishings (he'll bring some stuff
back from her house) but in the meantime will use some stuff from his
rather
cluttered home

She'll be moving into her apartment some time next week. It will be an
adjustment for her, of course, since she lived in the Rochester house
since
1940 or so.

Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal with
the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along with it.

Jill
--

Purrs and gentle headbutts to John and his mother. I'm sure it is difficult
for both of them but in the end she'll be where he can visit more often as
well as a community where she can make friends. I'm sure it will be a good
situation for everyone involved once they get past this initial upheaval.

Ummm. She is agreeable to this, right? I had a crazy, great aunt who was
placed into a very nice, very expensive retirement community...a high rise
in Atlanta. She had never been married, worked and saved her money so she
could take care of herself late in life and unfortunately her mind didn't
keep up with the rest of her body. Anyhow, she was placed in this very nice
community. Her first problem was that she kept hitting the man in the room
across from hers. I don't know if there was a reason she would hit him, I'm
sure in her mind there was. They moved her to another floor. Then one day a
Baptist choir had come to sing to the seniors. She walked out with the group
and just kept on walking. Several hours later they found her in her pj's
walking down a very busy highway in Atlanta. She didn't want to be there,
therefore she left. So there. Eventually, one of her nieces took her into
her home to live. Oh my gosh, I loved that lady.

Julie, Hobbes, Selena, Lacey, Sam and Barnabus

Julie Cook wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
He went to see her apartment at the nursing home
today. I was
a bit surprised to hear the word "apartment". Guess I figured it
would be like a hospital room or something. (shrug) She has a
bedroom, living room,
bath and kitchenette. Full time nursing care but not intrusively
(if that makes any sense). He has to get some furnishings (he'll
bring some stuff back from her house) but in the meantime will use
some stuff from his rather
cluttered home

Jill

Purrs and gentle headbutts to John and his mother. I'm sure it is
difficult for both of them but in the end she'll be where he can
visit more often as well as a community where she can make friends.

Thanks, Julie. She doesn't tend to like people. Nor pets, for that matter.

I'm sure it will be a good situation for everyone involved once they
get past this initial upheaval.

Ummm. She is agreeable to this, right?

She admitted to him she can't handle things on her own, yes. They met with
her attorney and he now has power of attorney to handle her affairs and sell
his childhood home, her car, etc.

I had a crazy, great aunt who
was placed into a very nice, very expensive retirement community...a
high rise in Atlanta. She had never been married, worked and saved
her money so she could take care of herself late in life and
unfortunately her mind didn't keep up with the rest of her body.
Anyhow, she was placed in this very nice community. Her first problem
was that she kept hitting the man in the room across from hers. I
don't know if there was a reason she would hit him, I'm sure in her
mind there was. They moved her to another floor. Then one day a
Baptist choir had come to sing to the seniors. She walked out with
the group and just kept on walking. Several hours later they found
her in her pj's walking down a very busy highway in Atlanta. She
didn't want to be there, therefore she left. So there. Eventually,
one of her nieces took her into her home to live. Oh my gosh, I loved
that lady.

I'm so sorry! That sounds very traumatic for everyone involved including
your great aunt who obviously didn't agree with things.

Julie, Hobbes, Selena, Lacey, Sam and Barnabus

My grandmother McQuown did *not* agree with the decision to put her in a
nursing home. My dad flew to Ohio immediately when my aunt discovered their
mom simply couldn't take care of herself. There was only one bathroom in
the house, upstairs, but she couldn't make it up the stairs anymore. She
was using a bedpan. Her bedroom was also upstairs so she was sleeping on
the couch in the living room. She was also basically starving herself
because she couldn't walk to the store (she hadn't driven in 25+ years and
didn't own a car, which is ironic considering she worked for General
Motors). She had no inclination to prepare meals for herself even when she
had groceries brought it by neighbors.

First they tried 'Meals on Wheels' and an in-home care nurse. She didn't
want strangers in her house. She'd shut the door in their faces. My dad
and my aunt agreed they had to move her to North Carolina to a nursing home
near my aunt and her husband. My grandmother hated it, but she hated the
very idea from the get-go. Sadly, died about 3 weeks after she was moved
there

At least John's mom admits she needs some help with living. She seems to be
okay with it and I hope she can make some friends there. And she's closer
to him, although he'll begin travelling again mid-September for his art
shows. Who knows what affect that will have on her, but he has to make a
living.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
They were supposed to fly out of Rochester the evening of 7/26 with a
connection in Chicago. But due to really bad weather (wind shears) in
both
cities, the flights were cancelled. They got out of there yesterday,
which
worked out better since it was an earlier flight. She's with him at his
studio now. He went to see her apartment at the nursing home today. I
was
a bit surprised to hear the word "apartment". Guess I figured it would be
like a hospital room or something. (shrug) She has a bedroom, living
room,
bath and kitchenette. Full time nursing care but not intrusively (if that
makes any sense). He has to get some furnishings (he'll bring some stuff
back from her house) but in the meantime will use some stuff from his
rather
cluttered home

She'll be moving into her apartment some time next week. It will be an
adjustment for her, of course, since she lived in the Rochester house
since
1940 or so.

Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal with
the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along with it.

Jill
--
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

Purrs for both John and his Mom.
Sam, closely supervised by Mistletoe

Lots of purrs and best wishes for John's mom to enjoy the apartment and to
be as happy and healthy as possible,
--
Polonca & Soncek

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
They were supposed to fly out of Rochester the evening of 7/26 with a
connection in Chicago. But due to really bad weather (wind shears) in
both
cities, the flights were cancelled. They got out of there yesterday,
which
worked out better since it was an earlier flight. She's with him at his
studio now. He went to see her apartment at the nursing home today. I
was
a bit surprised to hear the word "apartment". Guess I figured it would be
like a hospital room or something. (shrug) She has a bedroom, living
room,
bath and kitchenette. Full time nursing care but not intrusively (if that
makes any sense). He has to get some furnishings (he'll bring some stuff
back from her house) but in the meantime will use some stuff from his
rather
cluttered home

She'll be moving into her apartment some time next week. It will be an
adjustment for her, of course, since she lived in the Rochester house
since
1940 or so.

Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal with
the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along with it.

Jill
--
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

jmcquown wrote:

(snippage)
Purrs for her adjustment will be appreciated. And for him to deal with the
only home he's ever known and all the other stuff that goes along with it.

Jill


We're sending adjustment purrs for both John and his mother. I do hope
she likes it more than she expects to.

------
Krista