How To Wrap A Cat . . .

How To Wrap A Cat . . .


1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut
door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
labels, etc. . .

7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping
strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the
paper.

16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the
present came in.

17. Place present on paper.

18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't
reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent
sticky tape.

20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape
from cat with pair of nail scissors.

21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve
ribbon.

23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's
enthusiastic ribbon chase.

25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.

26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of
losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right
size for sheet of paper.

27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked
room.

30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper
and materials.

31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and
relock.

32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear
cat from outside door)

33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small
area of the toilet, but do your best)

34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper.
Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last
year as well.

35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to
make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with
sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst
areas.

37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on
completing a difficult job.

38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.

not funny and your computers have all been and are being tracked by The
Science Of Spirituality in Naperville near Chicago. So serve your self
or others who are you in a larger form then this pain. Get the hell of
my animal site you warped jerk.

wrote:

not funny and your computers have all been and are being tracked by The
Science Of Spirituality in Naperville near Chicago. So serve your self
or others who are you in a larger form then this pain. Get the hell of
my animal site you warped jerk.

P-L-O-N-K!

wrote:

So serve your self
or others who are you in a larger form then this pain.

All your base are belong to us.

Joyce

This is getting forwarded to a few of my friends =)


On 2005-12-18, Dave Gerecke penned:
How To Wrap A Cat . . .


1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and
shut door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons,
scissors, labels, etc. . .

7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable
wrapping strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove
cat.

14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the
paper.

16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag
the present came in.

17. Place present on paper.

18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges
don't reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing
transparent sticky tape.

20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky
tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to
retrieve ribbon.

23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's
enthusiastic ribbon chase.

25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.

26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk
of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is
the right size for sheet of paper.

27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for
locked room.

30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out
paper and materials.

31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close
and relock.

32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can
hear cat from outside door)

33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the
small area of the toilet, but do your best)

34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper.
Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this
last year as well.

35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to
make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing
with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide
worst areas.

37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself
on completing a difficult job.

38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious
conclusion.

40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
This is getting forwarded to a few of my friends =)

Yep, what's funny is we wrapped gifts yesterday (before I'd read the
group), and had all 6 cats trying to assist (and the d*g) us. It *was*
the first Christmas wrapping party for Marley and Smeagol, so that
was... um ... interesting.



On 2005-12-18, Dave Gerecke penned:
How To Wrap A Cat . . .


1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

--8----snipped for brevity only----8--

[[How To Wrap A Cat . . .


1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut
door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
labels, etc. . .

7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping
strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the
paper.

16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the
present came in.

17. Place present on paper.

18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't
reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent
sticky tape.

20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape
from cat with pair of nail scissors.

21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve
ribbon.

23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's
enthusiastic ribbon chase.

25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.

26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of
losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right
size for sheet of paper.

27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked
room.

30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper
and materials.

31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and
relock.

32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear
cat from outside door)

33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small
area of the toilet, but do your best)

34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper.
Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last
year as well.

35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to
make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with
sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst
areas.

37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on
completing a difficult job.

38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.]]

LOL! In this house, there'd be a few more steps.

42: Remove cat(s) from gift bag.

43. Insert present in bag.

44. Remove cat(s) from gift bag, the sequel.

45. Hope present wasn't squashed too much when cat(s) sat on it.

46. Store gift bag somewhere safe, where the cat(s) can't get at it.

47. Remove cat(s) from gift bag...

You get the idea. )

Donna and... HEY! Get outta that gift bag!... Captain, and Stanley