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  #191  
Old August 25th 04, 03:43 AM
Marina
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"Cheryl" wrote

Pam, in my experience of having lost my son, people in general
don't like to talk about horrifying things (to them) because either
they don't know what to say, or they don't want to upset you. I
read a poem on alt.support.grief that fit me totally, and it helps
to understand both why people don't say what you expect them to
say, and why we react when they either do or don't say something.
I'm going to post it, but I don't expect many to understand it.


gentle snip

Cheryl, that poem is so true, and I think you're right about why people
react (or don't react) like they do.

--
Marina, Frank and Nikki
Email marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/frankiennikki

  #192  
Old August 25th 04, 03:43 AM
Marina
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Cheryl" wrote

Pam, in my experience of having lost my son, people in general
don't like to talk about horrifying things (to them) because either
they don't know what to say, or they don't want to upset you. I
read a poem on alt.support.grief that fit me totally, and it helps
to understand both why people don't say what you expect them to
say, and why we react when they either do or don't say something.
I'm going to post it, but I don't expect many to understand it.


gentle snip

Cheryl, that poem is so true, and I think you're right about why people
react (or don't react) like they do.

--
Marina, Frank and Nikki
Email marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/frankiennikki

  #193  
Old August 25th 04, 03:43 AM
Marina
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Cheryl" wrote

Pam, in my experience of having lost my son, people in general
don't like to talk about horrifying things (to them) because either
they don't know what to say, or they don't want to upset you. I
read a poem on alt.support.grief that fit me totally, and it helps
to understand both why people don't say what you expect them to
say, and why we react when they either do or don't say something.
I'm going to post it, but I don't expect many to understand it.


gentle snip

Cheryl, that poem is so true, and I think you're right about why people
react (or don't react) like they do.

--
Marina, Frank and Nikki
Email marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/frankiennikki

  #194  
Old August 25th 04, 03:54 AM
Cheryl
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Posts: n/a
Default

In the fine newsgroup "rec.pets.cats.anecdotes", "Marina"
artfully composed this message within
on 24 Aug 2004:

Cheryl, that poem is so true, and I think you're right about why
people react (or don't react) like they do.


Marina, this is the part that makes my heart feel squeezed until it
can't beat:

That carefree, naive
person is gone forever,
And I am mourning that loss too.

I don't know how to be the same as I was after this. Because I'm
not. I am coming to terms with him gone, but what is left behind
with me is not a happy person. I miss him so much. I miss what the
future would have been. I miss watching him excel in his field that
was new to him, but he was so good at it at, and I dream about
going to see his band play because I never got to do that. They
played so late at night at parties that I felt too old to go to,
besides I was usually sound asleep when their set came on at 11 or
12 at night. And I feel cheated out of being a grandmother because
I would have been good at it. My thoughts sometimes go back to the
day when he was about 17 and told me the girl he was seeing was
pregnant. My heart stopped then because he hesitated before he told
me the baby wasn't his, that she was already pregnant when he met
her. Now I dream about a different outcome and that it was his baby
and I would have a part of him still in this world. I just really
really miss him with all of my heart.

--
Cheryl
  #195  
Old August 25th 04, 03:54 AM
Cheryl
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In the fine newsgroup "rec.pets.cats.anecdotes", "Marina"
artfully composed this message within
on 24 Aug 2004:

Cheryl, that poem is so true, and I think you're right about why
people react (or don't react) like they do.


Marina, this is the part that makes my heart feel squeezed until it
can't beat:

That carefree, naive
person is gone forever,
And I am mourning that loss too.

I don't know how to be the same as I was after this. Because I'm
not. I am coming to terms with him gone, but what is left behind
with me is not a happy person. I miss him so much. I miss what the
future would have been. I miss watching him excel in his field that
was new to him, but he was so good at it at, and I dream about
going to see his band play because I never got to do that. They
played so late at night at parties that I felt too old to go to,
besides I was usually sound asleep when their set came on at 11 or
12 at night. And I feel cheated out of being a grandmother because
I would have been good at it. My thoughts sometimes go back to the
day when he was about 17 and told me the girl he was seeing was
pregnant. My heart stopped then because he hesitated before he told
me the baby wasn't his, that she was already pregnant when he met
her. Now I dream about a different outcome and that it was his baby
and I would have a part of him still in this world. I just really
really miss him with all of my heart.

--
Cheryl
  #196  
Old August 25th 04, 03:54 AM
Cheryl
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In the fine newsgroup "rec.pets.cats.anecdotes", "Marina"
artfully composed this message within
on 24 Aug 2004:

Cheryl, that poem is so true, and I think you're right about why
people react (or don't react) like they do.


Marina, this is the part that makes my heart feel squeezed until it
can't beat:

That carefree, naive
person is gone forever,
And I am mourning that loss too.

I don't know how to be the same as I was after this. Because I'm
not. I am coming to terms with him gone, but what is left behind
with me is not a happy person. I miss him so much. I miss what the
future would have been. I miss watching him excel in his field that
was new to him, but he was so good at it at, and I dream about
going to see his band play because I never got to do that. They
played so late at night at parties that I felt too old to go to,
besides I was usually sound asleep when their set came on at 11 or
12 at night. And I feel cheated out of being a grandmother because
I would have been good at it. My thoughts sometimes go back to the
day when he was about 17 and told me the girl he was seeing was
pregnant. My heart stopped then because he hesitated before he told
me the baby wasn't his, that she was already pregnant when he met
her. Now I dream about a different outcome and that it was his baby
and I would have a part of him still in this world. I just really
really miss him with all of my heart.

--
Cheryl
  #197  
Old August 25th 04, 04:04 AM
O J
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Wed, 25 Aug, Joyce wrote:

---------------------snip----------------------
She landed on the closet floor, which luckily had a big folded comforter
on it, so it was a soft landing. But not on her dignity - she actually
raced out of the room, looking chagrined. (I had to cover my mouth to
mute my chuckles.)

---------------------snip----------------------

Lynda and I try out hardest to pretend we didn't see it when one of
our babies does something like that. You're a good kitty-mommy to
stifle your laughter.

Regards and Purrs,
O J
  #198  
Old August 25th 04, 04:04 AM
O J
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Wed, 25 Aug, Joyce wrote:

---------------------snip----------------------
She landed on the closet floor, which luckily had a big folded comforter
on it, so it was a soft landing. But not on her dignity - she actually
raced out of the room, looking chagrined. (I had to cover my mouth to
mute my chuckles.)

---------------------snip----------------------

Lynda and I try out hardest to pretend we didn't see it when one of
our babies does something like that. You're a good kitty-mommy to
stifle your laughter.

Regards and Purrs,
O J
  #199  
Old August 25th 04, 04:04 AM
O J
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Wed, 25 Aug, Joyce wrote:

---------------------snip----------------------
She landed on the closet floor, which luckily had a big folded comforter
on it, so it was a soft landing. But not on her dignity - she actually
raced out of the room, looking chagrined. (I had to cover my mouth to
mute my chuckles.)

---------------------snip----------------------

Lynda and I try out hardest to pretend we didn't see it when one of
our babies does something like that. You're a good kitty-mommy to
stifle your laughter.

Regards and Purrs,
O J
 




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