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[Totally OT] Fruit Theology
'Tis the start of Mango season here in the antipodes, and yesterday I had
the pleasure and delight on consuming my first one for the season, and a mighty fine specimen it was too. Whilst enjoying its heady delights, I mentioned in passing that the Mango was proof of an Intelligent Creator. My beloved, somewhat used to my strange mental meanderings asked "How so?". To which I replied "I can't believe that something this wonderful and perfect", indicating the half consumed mango, with its juice dripping onto my chest, "could come about simply by random mutation". My beloved pondered upon this for the length it took me to finish the fruit ambrosia, and then replied "But if that is true, then your Creator God is a horrid *******." My raised eyebrow and quizzical look suggested he should continue. "Because if he created the Mango, the world's most perfect fruit, then he also created the brussel sprout, which is known far and wide to all children as being worse than snot balls. Since many many children, including you and I, have been forced to eat these monstrositities under the guise of 'for your own good' and 'if you dont' eat your veggies you won't get dessert', one can only conclude that any god that created such vile things must therefore be cruel and evil. QED" Does the presence of heavenly mangoes in this universe balance out the heiniousness of the brussel sprout? Perhaps the brussel sprout is the anti-god vegetable? My partner's interesting rebuttel has not made me abandon my belief that mangoes are the ultimate in natural food, the nectar of heaven, fruit of the gods, nor that brussel srpouts are simply vile and disgusting. However, I do note that whilst my parents still indulge in mangoes when they can, since my sister and I moved out they no longer eat brussel sprouts. Perhaps they no longer need the spectre of the devilish brussel sprout to scare us kids into behaving. This theory, plus US$100 will get you a doctorate of theology from a world renown university with a post office box address. Yowie |
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