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Another OT Venting
Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't
get me wrong, I love my father dearly. However, mine has just informed me no way in HELL will he help me pay my bills. Said he's done far enough for me and that's the end of it and I should get a job as a greeter at WalMart or something if that's what it takes. He blames me for losing my job, even though I worked there for 11 years. He has no idea about working in the corporate world; he's retired military. (He worked one civilian job after that as Director of Security at a college, where he was pretty much allowed to act like the retired officer he is.) He wants me to sell all my furniture and move in with my brother. My brother has a house - and the room I'd move into actually contains bedroom furniture *I* gave to him when he had none. Dad said sell your couch, sell your tables, sell everything but your cookware (don't ask why he thinks I should keep that and nothing else) and your clothes and get your a** over there. Oh, and when I get back on my feet, then what? Then I have no furniture and what... like a college kid have to start all over again? It took me *years* to acquire 5 rooms worth of furniture! Assuming I wanted for a single moment to move in with my brother... there is the matter of my lease. My apartment manager graciously waived a rent increase and eliminated the monthly pet fee for Persia in light of my circumstances. But if I break the lease without being transferred by a job outside of this area, I incur an automatic $700 plus a $420 "re-decorating" fee. No offer of help with that, just the suggestion I work a couple of jobs at the same time because he's not lifting a finger to help me. This from the guy who thought I could sell a stupid book on eBay for $30K. Now I have to pay the friggin listing fees and no, I didn't ask $30,000 for it LOL Dad blames me for having a bitch of a manager I didn't get along with who finally found a way to get rid of me. Says I played into office politics so it's my fault. He's angry because I was "galavanting all over the place with that guy John". That "galavanting" paid my bills for most of 2004. I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now. Jill |
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On 2005-01-13, jmcquown penned:
Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. That's why it hurts so much when they say mean things =/ As near as I can tell, most fathers simply live in a different world. My dad went from being in the military to working for the government, and mom would frequently try to remind him that he couldn't run his family the way he ran his office at work. Often he irritably disagreed with her. I love my parents, but I'm sooo glad to be out of the house =) You're in a really tight spot, and it sounds like your dad just doesn't get it. Even if it *were* your fault that you were fired, what good does it do to focus on that? It's irrelevant now. *hug* It'll all work out. It will. Just keep trying, and if you can, just don't let your dad talk to you this way. If you're talking to him and he starts up the same old spiel, tell him that you're busy and you have to go now. Train him with timeouts, just as you would a cat. Spray bottle optional =P -- monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* |
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Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
On 2005-01-13, jmcquown penned: Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. That's why it hurts so much when they say mean things =/ As near as I can tell, most fathers simply live in a different world. My dad went from being in the military to working for the government, and mom would frequently try to remind him that he couldn't run his family the way he ran his office at work. Often he irritably disagreed with her. I love my parents, but I'm sooo glad to be out of the house =) You're in a really tight spot, and it sounds like your dad just doesn't get it. Even if it *were* your fault that you were fired, what good does it do to focus on that? It's irrelevant now. *hug* It'll all work out. It will. Just keep trying, and if you can, just don't let your dad talk to you this way. If you're talking to him and he starts up the same old spiel, tell him that you're busy and you have to go now. Train him with timeouts, just as you would a cat. Spray bottle optional =P LOL! Thanks, Monique. My "real" father apparently lives in a parallel universe... after making me cry he just had my mom call to ask me the name of my bank. She said "You know how he is, he sits and stews about things." Yeah, like he thought I could get $30,000 for a book. She laughed and took down my bank info. Tomorrow I'll go sign up with some temp agencies. Jill |
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#5
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{{{{{Jill}}}}},
Sounds like your dad and mine would get along fine.....Mine always had a way to make me cry.....don't miss him a bit but that's another story...... Anyhow, you just do whatever you need to do to keep yourself and Persia safe and sane and don't worry about him, ok? Purrs coming your way... --Kim and Lucy |
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I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now.
Jill We will be sending our absolute best purrs your way, and will keep doing so. |
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On 2005-01-13, jmcquown penned:
LOL! Thanks, Monique. My "real" father apparently lives in a parallel universe... after making me cry he just had my mom call to ask me the name of my bank. She said "You know how he is, he sits and stews about things." Yeah, like he thought I could get $30,000 for a book. She laughed and took down my bank info. Well, good luck with the bank thing! Maybe he just needed some time, and probably some prodding from your mom. Tomorrow I'll go sign up with some temp agencies. Sound good! -- monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* |
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jmcquown wrote:
Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. snip Wow. My father is former USAF, and would be *nearing* his eighties were he still alive. I certainly hope he wouldn't be like that. My mother, on the other hand, I know would help *some*. My sister, who lives in Florida, lost her job around Christmas '03, but her hubby is still employed. However, they are having domestic diffuclties. Fortunately, they chose to not have children, as my sister likes to come up to visit Mom once a year (I just found out that Mom was paying her airfair all these years). When she called Mom on Thanksgiving, she menioned a 'one-way ticket', which shocked Mom. This was the first we had heard ot their domestic problems. Mom told me, she's welcome to stay here, but only for a month, then she's on her own. There *are* jobs out there - ya just gotta scrape the barrel sides to find them. And it's worse for Sis: she has absolutely *no* computer skills whatsoever, her spelling and grammer are attrocious (not to mention her penmanship isn't that good either), and she has poor dentistry (missing a front tooth or two, and *refuses* to go to a dentist (bad experiance as a young child), even though Mom has offered to pay). She had to have help to use Wal-Mart's computer-application system. But that's nothing compared to *your* problem. Jill, do you mind me asking what field you used to work in? Just curious. Also, the company my husband works for (Sabin Corporation, part of the Cook Group - http://www.cookgroup.com/index.html is always looking for good reliable help. You might want to check into it and maybe fax in a resume'. Of course, you *would* have to relocate, not necessarily to IN as they have plants in NC, PA, Denmark, Brisbane AUS, Limerick IRE, and another wholly-owned company in Poway CA. They also own a lot of other business here in Bloomington (local antique mall, a B&B, and a property management comany (who recently built a brownstone that the 'penthouse' (it's only about a 4-story building) goes for over $2,000/month). It never hurts to try. -- The ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too) email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep |
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Magic Mood Jeep wrote:
jmcquown wrote: Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. snip Jill, do you mind me asking what field you used to work in? Just curious. I have extensive experience troubleshooting in Unix but not enough to be considered an Admin in Unix. QA Testing but it was in a proprietary application developed for workers comp, liability and disability claims. Used to be a licensed insurance agent in life, health and AD&D but I've never worked in a "sales" capacity for insurance. Usually a third party claims administration scenario and then software support/testing/development. I hate to say it, but I every headhunter I've talked to has said to me, "Oh, you made over $41K a year?" followed by a great big sigh. Yeah... and they can find some college kid who thinks $16K is the thrill of a lifetime. (sigh) Also, the company my husband works for (Sabin Corporation, part of the Cook Group - http://www.cookgroup.com/index.html is always looking for good reliable help. You might want to check into it and maybe fax in a resume'. Of course, you *would* have to relocate, not necessarily to IN I have no problem with IN except for the snow! LOL Actually, John is still talking (half seriously) about Napanee. He'd like to find an old barn to convert to a home and studio. as they have plants in NC, PA, Denmark, Brisbane AUS, Limerick IRE, and another wholly-owned company in Poway CA. They also own a lot of other business here in Bloomington (local antique mall, a B&B, and a property management comany (who recently built a brownstone that the 'penthouse' (it's only about a 4-story building) goes for over $2,000/month). It never hurts to try. You're a sweetie, thanks for the suggestions! And rest assured and assure Weebs, Persia will always have the uppermost care, as will my lovebird, Peaches. Jill -- The ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too) email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep |
#10
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SNIP I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now. Jill Jill: Drag.... Dad's can be like that.... My pop has mellowed over the years, but I remember a couple of similar instances... Much yelling, a refusal to help, Followed by a check... And a grumbling demand about 'timeley' re-payment.... Followed a couple of weeks later, by a 'no need to pay me back' phonecall. My Dad was'nt military, he was civil service... Union, job security all that stuff that our generation has a brutally hard time getting, but our parent's don't get why it's soo tough.... Still stuck in the 70's, when good jobs were a dime a dozen & a Batchelor degree got you a GREAT job.... He'll come around...I hope. Good luck... How's the sleep thing going? -- Mathew Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat En Vino Veritas |
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