[OT] Away for a while and a rant

in article , Cheryl at
wrote on 1/12/05 8:40 PM:

On Wed 12 Jan 2005 09:05:47p, Monique Y. Mudama wrote in
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
):

Here is where you really do need to say no. Your boss is being
verbally abusive. Tell him in calm tones that you are working
on it, but that you don't deserve to be treated this way.

And, as women who have male bosses, we have to remember to treat them
as males. Men in the work place don't typically deal well with
emotion, especially if the workplace is also stressful for them in
their position. They deal with facts. It's best to write down your
grievances ahead of time on a daily planner, or a notebook, and refer
to it during the meeting. Stick with the facts, leave emotions out.
No whining. It just doesn't work with them. Husbands are a different
"breed" because they *have* to live with you. lol And, they're more
inclined to work with you.

YOu know, it just occurred to me, but I've never really dealt with a male
boss. There are male bosses at my work,but they aren't really my immediate
superiors. But I have an outstanding supervisor (female) who if she left, I
probably would because our boss boss is much too difficult and I don't
believe I would get another super in that position who could deal with the
pressure from her like this one does and it would be hell for the rest of
us. I've been very fortunate I think.

Oh, my. We're sending new-job and stress-easing purrs your way.
------
Krista

CatNipped wrote:
Posting a quickie just so you won't think I am (or Sammy is) being
rude.

RL is kicking my @$$ right now. In fact, if you don't mind, a need
to rant a bit...

rant

A year ago I lost my job as a web architect and since the bottom had
fallen out of this job market, couldn't find another job doing this.
After 4 months of unemployment, I decided to take a job as an
Executive Assistant. I had to take half the pay I was getting, but I
figured, hey, at least I won't have the job stress associated with
the higher salary.

Soothing stress relief purrs on the way. Give little (big) Sammy a hug and
a kiss.

Jill

Cheryl wrote:
On Wed 12 Jan 2005 09:05:47p, Monique Y. Mudama wrote in
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
):

Here is where you really do need to say no. Your boss is being
verbally abusive. Tell him in calm tones that you are working
on it, but that you don't deserve to be treated this way.

And, as women who have male bosses, we have to remember to treat them
as males. Men in the work place don't typically deal well with
emotion, especially if the workplace is also stressful for them in
their position. They deal with facts. It's best to write down your
grievances ahead of time on a daily planner, or a notebook, and refer
to it during the meeting. Stick with the facts, leave emotions out.
No whining. It just doesn't work with them.

Good advice. Unfortunately, when I get very tense or angry if I try to
speak I start to cry. Doesn't matter if I'm talking with a male or female,
'superior' or not. So in this situation, if at all possible, it's best for
me to not attempt to address an issue until I've had a chance to cool off.
This isn't always possible in the workplace when an immediate response is
called for.

Jill

On 2005-01-13, jmcquown penned:

Good advice. Unfortunately, when I get very tense or angry if I try to
speak I start to cry. Doesn't matter if I'm talking with a male or female,
'superior' or not. So in this situation, if at all possible, it's best for
me to not attempt to address an issue until I've had a chance to cool off.
This isn't always possible in the workplace when an immediate response is
called for.

When I'm really I angry, I also cry. Weird. Then I get angry at myself for
crying and looking weak when what I really want to do is beat the snot out of
the offender.

I've never had a boss who put me through the kinds of things you've described.
I've had a boss disappoint me before, but I scheduled time to talk to him,
told him what was bothering me, and he apologized. Not the same type of
situation at all, it seems. (Then again, I was calling him on one specific
lapse, not on recurring behavior.)

--
monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
On 2005-01-13, jmcquown penned:

Good advice. Unfortunately, when I get very tense or angry if I try
to speak I start to cry.

When I'm really I angry, I also cry. Weird. Then I get angry at
myself for crying and looking weak when what I really want to do is
beat the snot out of the offender.

I know that feeling!

I've never had a boss who put me through the kinds of things you've
described.

Actually it was Catnipped's boss who was cussing at her, and I've only had
that happen one time. Strangely, it was a former Army guy who was CFO of a
(surprise!) now defunct company. He called me into his office one day
because an automated backup on one of the Unix systems had failed. Even
with the door closed it had to be apparent to everyone because he was
shouting at the top of his lungs "What the FU** happened?!" I took a deep
breath, looked him in the eye and said, "Do you want me to quit? Because
I'll walk out of here right now. No one talks to me like this." He lost
his bluster and mumbled something like, "Go back to work."

It was the one time I was able to contain the tears and just spit it back at
him. I only stayed there for 1 year - couldn't have taken much more of that
assinine behavior.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
. ..
Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
On 2005-01-13, jmcquown penned:

Good advice. Unfortunately, when I get very tense or angry if I try
to speak I start to cry.

When I'm really I angry, I also cry. Weird. Then I get angry at
myself for crying and looking weak when what I really want to do is
beat the snot out of the offender.

I know that feeling!

I've never had a boss who put me through the kinds of things you've
described.

Actually it was Catnipped's boss who was cussing at her, and I've only had
that happen one time. Strangely, it was a former Army guy who was CFO of
a
(surprise!) now defunct company. He called me into his office one day
because an automated backup on one of the Unix systems had failed. Even
with the door closed it had to be apparent to everyone because he was
shouting at the top of his lungs "What the FU** happened?!" I took a deep
breath, looked him in the eye and said, "Do you want me to quit? Because
I'll walk out of here right now. No one talks to me like this." He lost
his bluster and mumbled something like, "Go back to work."

It was the one time I was able to contain the tears and just spit it back
at
him. I only stayed there for 1 year - couldn't have taken much more of
that
assinine behavior.

Jill

Don't these people realize that in today's climate you could probably be
sued over verbally insulting an employee like this? I mean, really?

In article , "CatNipped"
wrote:


Posting a quickie just so you won't think I am (or Sammy is) being rude.

RL is kicking my @$$ right now. In fact, if you don't mind, a need to
rant
a bit...

rant

A year ago I lost my job as a web architect and since the bottom had fallen
out of this job market, couldn't find another job doing this. After 4
months of unemployment, I decided to take a job as an Executive Assistant.
I had to take half the pay I was getting, but I figured, hey, at least
I
won't have the job stress associated with the higher salary.

Unfortunately, part of my job duties as an EI was to update their web site.
Well, updating the web site quickly became extensively high-end programming.
*BUT*, my salary is still half of what it was and I'm still required to
do
all of the EI duties (step and fetch it type stuff), PLUS they gave me
15
different vendors to handle, and just about everything else that the 20+
people they just laid off were doing. So now I'm:

- Going to get the mail and sorting and distributing it (a whole mail bin
every day)
- Doing personal chores for my CEO (paying his traffic tickets, filling
out
his kids' insurance forms, renewing his passport, running down to his car
to
fetch things for him, etc. - ad nauseum)
- All meeting presentations in PowerPoint
- All Excel spreadsheets with Visual Basic macros
- External and internal contact information
- All correspondence - email and snail mail
- All FedEx-ing, faxing, and scanning of documents
- All filing
- Answering the telephones
- Taking care of all repairs of all telephone, cellular, and computing
equipment
- Coding invoices for 15 different vendors for accounts payable processing
- Taking care of resolving invoice problems for 15 different vendors
- Creating all graphics, multi-media, interactive forms, and code for a
250+
page web site
- Filming and editing a safety orientation video for the company

I feel like I'm going to drop dead from exhaustion - I'm going crazy with
stress. For instance, they gave me the project of creating a Safety program
on our web site that is about 25 pages of interactive forms using 10+ tables
in a SQL database, and editing about 700+ pages of Safety forms that need
to
be put on the web for downloading. When I worked for a web services company
as a consultant, years ago, the web service company would have taken the
job
and put 4 people to work on it, given the client a 3 month time frame for
completion, and charged the client $100,000 for the job. I was given it
a
few days ago and told the roll-out date is February 1, 2005! I've been
working 16-hour days and this is the first time I've forced myself to take
a
break to come read the group a bit.

/rant

I promise to take some time this weekend to write a couple of "With Mommy"
stories.

Hugs,

CatNipped


It sounds like they are taking advantage of the high unemployment rate and
snapped up an overqualified person to take underpay and overwork. Purrs that a
better job happens.
Suz
Macmoosette
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=

"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life."
--Faith Resnick



|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")

"Shiral" wrote in message
oups.com...
I'd say put Sammy on the case. =o) (If you get REALLY fed up with these
cheap greed heads who lay people off and then expect one underpaid
person to do the work of 20 people, and are on the verge of quitting
yourself.)

Some possible titles

Emptying the Mail Bin with Mommy

Scanning Documents with Mommy

Shredding the Boss's Parking Ticket with My Very Own Claws

Doing Power Point Presentations with Mommy.

Just kidding, as I realize you're under stress. But it sounds like you
either need to rebel, or find a new, more reasonable job, or both.
Melissa

What Melissa said -- if you're that good at what you do you're probably
quite indispensable to them and I wonder about using that as a point to
negotiate to get either or all of --
a pay raise
an assistant
a clear understanding of what you can and cannot do for these people based
on the number of hours in a day you are able to work

all of the above?
And now you need hot chocolate, a massage, medicinal purrs, and a bubble
bath!
hugs and purrs
Christine (feelin' feisty on your behalf)

Karen wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
. ..
Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
On 2005-01-13, jmcquown penned:

Good advice. Unfortunately, when I get very tense or angry if I
try to speak I start to cry.

When I'm really I angry, I also cry. Weird. Then I get angry at
myself for crying and looking weak when what I really want to do is
beat the snot out of the offender.

I know that feeling!

I've never had a boss who put me through the kinds of things you've
described.

Actually it was Catnipped's boss who was cussing at her, and I've
only had that happen one time. Strangely, it was a former Army guy
who was CFO of a (surprise!) now defunct company. He called me into
his office one day because an automated backup on one of the Unix
systems had failed. Even with the door closed it had to be apparent
to everyone because he was shouting at the top of his lungs "What
the FU** happened?!" I took a deep breath, looked him in the eye
and said, "Do you want me to quit? Because I'll walk out of here
right now. No one talks to me like this." He lost his bluster and
mumbled something like, "Go back to work."

It was the one time I was able to contain the tears and just spit it
back at him. I only stayed there for 1 year - couldn't have taken
much more of that assinine behavior.

Jill

Don't these people realize that in today's climate you could probably
be sued over verbally insulting an employee like this? I mean, really?

Perhaps in today's climate. And in Lori's situation I'd sure say something.
My situation occurred 15 years ago when people weren't so easily able to sue
over something like this. Oh, and my CFO boss brought a witness in so he
could cuss me out with impunity, if that makes any sense. She was simply
going to back up whatever he chose to do.

Of course, this is the same place where I was handed a note by one of the
route supervisors which said, "When can I get in your pants?" I guess THAT
jerk realized the serious implications because when I tried to walk off with
it he grabbed it away from me.

Jill