Excerpts from a Captive Pet's Daily Diary

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order to keep my strenth. The only thing that keeps
me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once
again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped
it's headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of,
however they merely made condescending comments about what a "Good
little Hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost
successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by
weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow.... but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe
him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain he reports
my ever move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in
an elevated cell, so he is safe........ for now!



Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am Car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


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