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#11
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Holiday cards
"Julie Cook" wrote in message ... Christina Websell wrote: I am sending a few off day by day. It's really shocking how much overseas postage is for each card. 68p. I sent 10 today. I really wanted to send to everyone on the list especially those on receive only as I was on receive only last year because I'd been very ill. To be sensible, although I really want to do it I realise my budget won't allow me to send to everyone on the list. I've decided I'll send to everyone I know who posts on rpca. Plus BlueBird. Although I don't know her, she is ill, just like I was last year. And a few on receive only. Please excuse me if you don't get a card from us this year, I hope to do better next year. Sorry. Tweed Actually I believe you are on the list as "receive only". You didn't respond to my call for the list but you've had a tough year and we thought you deserved cards from anyone who felt like sending them. I did mail back to say to include me this year. I guess you didn't get it. I asked another member to send me the list. I did want to try and do it this year, it would be too embarrassing to be on receive only for a second year. There are a number of people that we add to the receive only list because we want to remember them. Personally, I save all of my lists and if someone falls off the list one year they get a card from me regardless. Julie who is working on cards and hopes to have them sent this week |
#12
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Holiday cards
Exactly. I too was a shy geek who was even teased at school for having no
friends. I *love* getting the cards, but even more, I love sending the cards out, especially to people like Bluebird and Norma Munday who may not post here much, but aren't forgotten. Yowie I think I might be detecting a pattern here - I was a painfully shy geek. Was? My real-life friends are my wife, brother, and mom, and a couple other people I haven't seen in many years. The folks I've met through RPCA and RPCC are much closer friends than anyone else ever has been, aside from family. I don't generally get into the holiday spirit much, but I really do enjoy sending holiday cards to my fellow cat-lovers. ESPECIALLY to those who are in situations that make them unable to send cards themselves. It seems to me that the folks in more difficult situations are even more needing of a word of support and understanding. Dan |
#13
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Holiday cards
*WHO*!??? Who gave you hell for not joining???! Never mind, I don't want to know. Not real hell, CN, fake hell...y'know, the strong encouragement that taking part is more important than "holding up my end of the bargain." I was raised in a family where it was expected that I never take assistance, charity, or ask for help from anyone. I was not allowed to take gifts or payment that I didn't "Earn" somehow. I was not allowed to have birthday parties because my parents thought it was inappropriate for me to be given gifts by friends (though I was permitted to attend the parties of others and give them gifts). I was not allowed to go to the doctor or the optician (my school had to arrange for eye testing for me and send a strong letter to my parents, because I could not see the board from a desk, not even a desk at the front of the room) because it was "Admitting weakness". I am trying to shed the more extremes of this thinking but I realized it last year when folks said they wished that I had joined the list last year...I, of course, declined because I could not afford to send cards and felt it was "Wrong" To take them in return... For some reason I think it is fine for other people to be on "Receive only" but not me... DP says I need to cure myself of this attitude, and I think he's right. I believe YOU were one of the people who "gave me hell" last year And good on you, too. I need to ditch this twisted, self-crucifying pride. --Fil |
#14
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Holiday cards
"Enfilade" wrote in message
oups.com... *WHO*!??? Who gave you hell for not joining???! Never mind, I don't want to know. Not real hell, CN, fake hell...y'know, the strong encouragement that taking part is more important than "holding up my end of the bargain." I was raised in a family where it was expected that I never take assistance, charity, or ask for help from anyone. I was not allowed to take gifts or payment that I didn't "Earn" somehow. I was not allowed to have birthday parties because my parents thought it was inappropriate for me to be given gifts by friends (though I was permitted to attend the parties of others and give them gifts). I was not allowed to go to the doctor or the optician (my school had to arrange for eye testing for me and send a strong letter to my parents, because I could not see the board from a desk, not even a desk at the front of the room) because it was "Admitting weakness". I am trying to shed the more extremes of this thinking but I realized it last year when folks said they wished that I had joined the list last year...I, of course, declined because I could not afford to send cards and felt it was "Wrong" To take them in return... For some reason I think it is fine for other people to be on "Receive only" but not me... DP says I need to cure myself of this attitude, and I think he's right. I believe YOU were one of the people who "gave me hell" last year And good on you, too. I need to ditch this twisted, self-crucifying pride. Did I??! Oh, um, never mind! ; Seriously, Fil, sometimes letting someone do something for us is the hardest thing to do, but we have to do it. A lot of people, me included, grew up in a "prideful" household, and there is nothing wrong with that - it gives us the determination to make it on our own. [When I divorced my abusive-alcoholic ex, I refused food stamps, welfare, and legal aid and struggled along on a minimum wage, supporting two children (with *NO* child support) and putting myself through college so I could improve our lot.] However, when you refuse to let people help you, you are denying them the pleasure they may get in being able to extend a hand to a friend. After Katrina, a number of people - some from this group - sent offers of help for my family (clothes, band instruments, toys). I *SO* wanted to say, "No, that's OK, we'll manage on our own." The problem was that we really couldn't manage on our own and the help we received was not only materially valued, but the emotional connection we got from receiving that help boosted our spirits at a time when that was needed that even more than material things. And it also allowed others to be a "guardian angel" to us and get the spiritual and emotional satisfaction that *that* brings. Any way, off my soap box now. Just remember that when you love someone - even someone you may have never even met in person - *that* is more important than pride is. Hugs, CatNipped --Fil |
#15
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Holiday cards
Any way, off my soap box now. Just remember that when you love someone - even someone you may have never even met in person - *that* is more important than pride is. Exactly. And...as I say about many things...it's all about balance. About avoiding the pitfalls that come from having /too much/ pride and isolating yourself, suffering needlessly when there are those more than willing to help you, AS WELL AS those that come from having /no/ pride, and simply scamming everything you can off those around you. DP gave me incredible hell during my underemployment when he realized I was skipping meals at noon instead of asking him for money to buy things to make lunches with, or to buy lunches out. I thought I was doing a good thing (not mooching) when in fact I was doing a bad thing (hurting myself, and making him watch it.) He sat me down and told me there was a big difference between asking him to buy me stuff I didn't need, and asking him to give me a hand with my half of the bills or to buy food. I now realize how strange my parents were to be proud of me for going on a 5 mile hike with an inflamed appendix instead of asking to stay behind. I grew up thinking that asking to stay behind and sleep was wrong and shameful, while gritting my teeth and going on the hike (while hiding the pain from those around me) was good and admirable. I grew up thinking that was "normal." When I finally did get that appendix out--two months after the hike, after my teacher drove me to the emergency department--the doctors were shocked at my constant apologies and at my parents' insistence that I was "weak" and "whiny." The doctor told my mom flat out that I was hard as nails. I still don't know why she--or I--is/am so proud of that comment. --Fil |
#16
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Holiday cards
I really do hope you can change this way of thinking, Fil. You have
every right to be here just the way you are AND get help if you need it. But I know that asking for it can be hard sometimes. We are sending lots of purrs and hugs just for you, Polonca and Soncek Enfilade wrote: I was raised in a family where it was expected that I never take assistance, charity, or ask for help from anyone. I was not allowed to take gifts or payment that I didn't "Earn" somehow. I was not allowed to have birthday parties because my parents thought it was inappropriate for me to be given gifts by friends (though I was permitted to attend the parties of others and give them gifts). I was not allowed to go to the doctor or the optician (my school had to arrange for eye testing for me and send a strong letter to my parents, because I could not see the board from a desk, not even a desk at the front of the room) because it was "Admitting weakness". I am trying to shed the more extremes of this thinking but I realized it last year when folks said they wished that I had joined the list last year...I, of course, declined because I could not afford to send cards and felt it was "Wrong" To take them in return... For some reason I think it is fine for other people to be on "Receive only" but not me... DP says I need to cure myself of this attitude, and I think he's right. I believe YOU were one of the people who "gave me hell" last year And good on you, too. I need to ditch this twisted, self-crucifying pride. --Fil |
#17
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Holiday cards
Enfilade wrote:
*WHO*!??? Who gave you hell for not joining???! Never mind, I don't want to know. Not real hell, CN, fake hell...y'know, the strong encouragement that taking part is more important than "holding up my end of the bargain." I was raised in a family where it was expected that I never take assistance, charity, or ask for help from anyone. I was not allowed to take gifts or payment that I didn't "Earn" somehow. I was not allowed to have birthday parties because my parents thought it was inappropriate for me to be given gifts by friends (though I was permitted to attend the parties of others and give them gifts). I was not allowed to go to the doctor or the optician (my school had to arrange for eye testing for me and send a strong letter to my parents, because I could not see the board from a desk, not even a desk at the front of the room) because it was "Admitting weakness". I am trying to shed the more extremes of this thinking but I realized it last year when folks said they wished that I had joined the list last year...I, of course, declined because I could not afford to send cards and felt it was "Wrong" To take them in return... For some reason I think it is fine for other people to be on "Receive only" but not me... DP says I need to cure myself of this attitude, and I think he's right. I believe YOU were one of the people who "gave me hell" last year And good on you, too. I need to ditch this twisted, self-crucifying pride. --Fil Please join the list next year, Fil, even if it is recieve only. -- Adrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera) A House is not a home, without a cat. http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk |
#18
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Holiday cards
Please join the list next year, Fil, even if it is recieve only. -- I will do that This year, I'm in school on a scholarship, so I have, if not oodles of money, enough for occasional treats like postage, toys for my toy collection, new clothes. I've also laid away cards for next year, so that at least is done. I will finish my thesis in August, and then we will see what kind of work I can find. The odds are high that I will be able to teach another class (the way I am doing this year) and have some money that way...if I can find a second part time job to balance around teaching, I will be as well off as i am this year. Regardless, my name will be on that list. --Fil |
#19
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Holiday cards
I send Email cards to friends far away or someone needing something to
brighten their day. There is nothing wrong in recieving the cards even if you can't send any. Just enjoy the fact that you have friends that care. Ann -- read Sam's blog at http://kittens-3.blogspot.com/ see pictures of Sam at http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ann791/my_photos "Enfilade" wrote in message oups.com... Please join the list next year, Fil, even if it is recieve only. -- I will do that This year, I'm in school on a scholarship, so I have, if not oodles of money, enough for occasional treats like postage, toys for my toy collection, new clothes. I've also laid away cards for next year, so that at least is done. I will finish my thesis in August, and then we will see what kind of work I can find. The odds are high that I will be able to teach another class (the way I am doing this year) and have some money that way...if I can find a second part time job to balance around teaching, I will be as well off as i am this year. Regardless, my name will be on that list. --Fil |
#20
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Holiday cards
Who is doing the card list? I tried to send an email but the darn thing wouldn't
go through. I'd like to be on the list and have an updated copy sent to me, please! Elizabeth & Louis Singh 4672 North Bailey Ave. Amherst NY 14226 Christina Websell wrote: I am sending a few off day by day. It's really shocking how much overseas postage is for each card. 68p. I sent 10 today. I really wanted to send to everyone on the list especially those on receive only as I was on receive only last year because I'd been very ill. To be sensible, although I really want to do it I realise my budget won't allow me to send to everyone on the list. I've decided I'll send to everyone I know who posts on rpca. Plus BlueBird. Although I don't know her, she is ill, just like I was last year. And a few on receive only. Please excuse me if you don't get a card from us this year, I hope to do better next year. Sorry. Tweed |
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