If we ever needed purrs

Lesley wrote:

Dave's currently keeping his head down and being nice to me- my fault
I shouldn't let the fact he's an inconsiderate swine upset me- I
should be used to it by now. (He said this morning "I'm sorry I let
you down" and I regret I said "Which of many occasions are you trying
to apologise for?")

Sometimes you have to be honest. If you don't let him know you're
annoyed, he'll just keep doing it. (Of course, even if you do let him
know, he might keep doing it anyway, but that's a different problem!)

Annoyed at the moment through I am having a new credit card delivered
today (they wouldn't deliver it to the reception of my office for some
reason) and of course it's going to turn up between 9-5 and hasn't
yet. So I can't pop to the bank as I planned and all there is in the
house to eat apart from cat food of course is one cookie but I can't
go to the shops (and my plan to have some of that nice scampi from the
snack bar over the road just went out the window as they close at
3.00) so Dave and me are eyeing the cookie..

Sounds like tonight would be a perfect evening for Dave to take you out
for that Chinese dinner...

Joyce

wrote:


Sounds like tonight would be a perfect evening for Dave to take you out
for that Chinese dinner...


Nah- waited until 5.30 then called the courier people to find that their
driver alleges he rang our bell at 13.10 and got no answer, which is complete
rubbish! Obviously he couldn't wait to get out of the rain as it chucked it
down yesterday

So by the time I'd sorted that and some other bits it was too late to go out
since I had to get back to work today so he treated me to a "whatever you
want I'm paying" session from that lovely but rather expensive Indian
takeaway we use when we're feeling flush

Still burping this morning!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

--
Message posted via http://www.catkb.com

On 20 Nov, 19:37, wrote:
"Sheelagh\"o\"" wrote:

Lol, I know exactly how you feel, from the leash side of affairs.

The "leash side" of affairs? That's an intriguing expression. Do tell...

Joyce

Like Lesley, I'm a carer for my partner too. It's a bit of a standing
joke that even if you do manage to get out of the same four walls that
you share everyday, there is always the mobile ( cell phone?), for
your patient to give a good yank when they need you.

In simple terms, even when your out, your still thinking of what's
happening @ home, so there is no "real" escape from it all. I mean no
disrespect to "any patient", it is all just part of being a carer. You
get used to it though )

Sheelagh "o"

The last ten years of my husbands life were 24/7. When you get a break
"there is always a guilt feeling or, hurry home." Caring is a full time job
and my prayers are with those doing it. But, that was part of the deal even
though it gets hard beyond words. People always said take a good hot bath,
light a candle. I would try at three in the morning and the monitor that
was in every room would buzz for something. Prayers to you who are doing
this. Gramby. P.S. this sounds mean but the day Bob died, I took that
monitor outside and took a hammer to it. I told my kids if they ever put
one up for me to use it was time to send me somewhere else.
"Sheelagh"o"" wrote in message
...
On 20 Nov, 19:37, wrote:
"Sheelagh\"o\"" wrote:

Lol, I know exactly how you feel, from the leash side of affairs.

The "leash side" of affairs? That's an intriguing expression. Do tell...


Joyce

Like Lesley, I'm a carer for my partner too. It's a bit of a standing
joke that even if you do manage to get out of the same four walls that
you share everyday, there is always the mobile ( cell phone?), for
your patient to give a good yank when they need you.

In simple terms, even when your out, your still thinking of what's
happening @ home, so there is no "real" escape from it all. I mean no
disrespect to "any patient", it is all just part of being a carer. You
get used to it though )

Sheelagh "o"

On Nov 21, 8:24 am, "Sheelagh\"o\"" wrote:
On 20 Nov, 19:37, wrote:

"Sheelagh\"o\"" wrote:

Lol, I know exactly how you feel, from the leash side of affairs.

The "leash side" of affairs? That's an intriguing expression. Do tell...

Joyce

Like Lesley, I'm a carer for my partner too. It's a bit of a standing
joke that even if you do manage to get out of the same four walls that
you share everyday, there is always the mobile ( cell phone?), for
your patient to give a good yank when they need you.

In simple terms, even when your out, your still thinking of what's
happening @ home, so there is no "real" escape from it all. I mean no
disrespect to "any patient", it is all just part of being a carer. You
get used to it though )

Sheelagh "o"

Tell me about it. And if you do get away for any time, the guilt is
enormous and one feels like they'd abandoned the partner. I sometimes
need some alone time and I don't feel as though I can take it, cause
even with the two kids in the house, Rob feels as though he needs me
here.

Pam S.

On 21 Nov, 13:55, "Granby" wrote:
The last ten years of my husbands life were 24/7. When you get a break
"there is always a guilt feeling or, hurry home." Caring is a full time job
and my prayers are with those doing it. But, that was part of the deal even
though it gets hard beyond words. People always said take a good hot bath,
light a candle. I would try at three in the morning and the monitor that
was in every room would buzz for something. Prayers to you who are doing
this. Gramby. P.S. this sounds mean but the day Bob died, I took that
monitor outside and took a hammer to it. I told my kids if they ever put
one up for me to use it was time to send me somewhere else."Sheelagh"o"" wrote in message

...



On 20 Nov, 19:37, wrote:
"Sheelagh\"o\"" wrote:

Lol, I know exactly how you feel, from the leash side of affairs.

The "leash side" of affairs? That's an intriguing expression. Do tell...


Joyce

Like Lesley, I'm a carer for my partner too. It's a bit of a standing
joke that even if you do manage to get out of the same four walls that
you share everyday, there is always the mobile ( cell phone?), for
your patient to give a good yank when they need you.

In simple terms, even when your out, your still thinking of what's
happening @ home, so there is no "real" escape from it all. I mean no
disrespect to "any patient", it is all just part of being a carer. You
get used to it though )

Sheelagh "o"- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

It's a labour of love.
Any carer who tells me that they have never felt that way is either a
living saint, or lying! We are humans, & we live to err. Everyone is
very supportive, but there is never anyone around to talk to @ 3 am
when you need to talk about your concerns or simply have a little moan
about our lot in life....

Pam S.
Tell me about it. And if you do get away for any time, the guilt is
enormous and one feels like they'd abandoned the partner. I sometimes
need some alone time and I don't feel as though I can take it, cause
even with the two kids in the house, Rob feels as though he needs me
here.
Ha ha, I understand this one too. My son was born 14 weeks early @ 2LB
6OZ, & came home on oxygen & a oximeter to monitor his need for
oxygen. He also had an apnoea alarm as well because he used to stop
breathing on a regular basis. Most of the time, all it took was a
nudge to make him inhale again, but there were other times when it
saved his life. Lie you, the day I gave it up, it went straight under
a very large brick with quite a bit of force, Lol. It had been a thorn
in my side for months, & had to go What a relief when I did.!!
Sheelagh "o"
PS: It's nice to kow I'm not the only one.

Lesley wrote:

Well today....the original plan had been to take me to my favourite
Chinese..then that got to the "Half Moon" then last night turned into
lunch in the "Bells" so I had gone from a real nice Chinese to egg and
chips by last night

And this morining, I woke up heard the rain and thought "That's it"

And two second later lover boy said "I think I've got a cold..it's
raining....I can't get my wet feet..mind if we give today a miss?"

I rolled over and had a nasty thought along the lines of "I'm 50. If I
am very lucky I got maybe 30 years left probably less and this guy
can't make a little effort for me on this one special day? Do I really
want to spend what little time I have left on someone who can't even
make a little effort for me?"
snip
Was I so unreasonable to want him to do something even if it was only
egg and chips in the "Bells" for my 50th?

Probably or at least that's the way that selfish so and so sees it

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs


Lots of purrs and hugs for you, Lesley,
Polonca and Soncek

On 21 Nov, 13:38, polonca12000 wrote:
Lots of purrs and hugs for you, Lesley,


Thanks

Well we still haven't gotten out but I have the worse streaming head
cold in the history of streaming head colds so I ain't fussed right
now (I just want someone to chop my head off in a non fatal manner
until it stops streaming!)

Will bring this up to speed tomorrow with new news- right now through
it is not much past 9 I am going to bed

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

What I thought was going to be a head cold vanished after we played
the new DVD of "Song remains the Same"- probably headbanged the snot
out (Dear God if I lived in Newham and went to those "Warm Spots" I'd
be a riot- Dave and me had an amusing half hour working out all the
music stars that would be eligible (by age anyway) to attend and
imagining the reaction of well meaning patronising idiots trying to
persuade the likes of Iggy Pop to play Bingo)

Dave said yesterday it is now just over a week since the wheelchair
left the living room. He sits on it because it's easier when he's on
the computer (the computer chair is a bit low and the mechanism is
broken - we have a new one but it's still boxed up and Claus has
advised Dave to wait on the matter of chair with castors) but he walks
into the living room, to the kitchen, to the bathroom etc. He even
managed to make his first meal since coming home on Wednesday- okay it
was salad and the salad was pre-prepared but he managed to get into
the kitchen, take a plate and some cutlery out, get things from the
fridge and put them on the plate then carry his salad back into the
living room...and of course, we all know how much dexterity and
balance that involves when you are making a ham salad and have
cats....

On Thursday I got up and found that the kettle was not working and
said some rude things it since I only got it in January. Dave said
some even ruder things since the man cannot face the morning without
coffee so before he got nastier than usual (and with jusitification
for a change) I went to work and he hid under the covers. When he woke
up he realised the alarm clock was off as well and he went into the
living room and found nothing worked..I shouldn't have been so rude
about the poor kettle..something had tripped the fuse (We suspect the
lamp in the living room so I got a new one yesterday-it had been
eating bulbs at an amazing rate) and the guy from the housing told
Dave what needed to be done and he got up and did it even through the
fusebox is a bit taller than he is so he had to stand on tiptoe and at
an awkward angle

So all is going well in that area..

The district nurses think 2-3 more visits and Dave's ankle will have
healed completely then they will just pop round from time to time to
see he's okay for a few months and Claus thinks with a bit of luck,
Dave will be independent and able to go out alone with perhaps only
the crutch maybe not even that by the end of December-early January so
it might be almost over by Xmas. I mean we are thinking of asking them
to take the frame away because the only person in the house who gets
any use out of it now is Dunzi who has found the fleece lined arm
rests to be the right size for a small kitten like her to snuggle into

Anyway there still some small thorns on the path

Dave took delivery of the toe cap thingy the tissue viability nurse
wants him to wear...it looks like a fingerless glove for a small
child! I have small hands (About the only bit of me that is small) and
I couldn't not get it over my fingers! How Dave is supposed to get his
foot into it we have not the faintest idea! Certainly if he did have
his foot forced into it, it would be like Chinese foot binding! Claus
has been trying to talk to the people but they have so far not
returned his calls and he has been trying for 2 weeks so I think they
are not likely to!

Also Claus is mentioining Dave should go out more and also he should
not get his toes cold because that would be bad for his circulation..

It's almost December so we have a problem (and Dave is also using "I
can't get my toes cold" as an excuse not to go out) since Dave is
still wearing plastic sandals with his toes exposed

Claus is frankly amazed the orthotic service didn't offer to make Dave
some shoes but they didn't. They gave us a catalogue of expensive
shoes with no return policy and Dave doesn't even know what his shoe
size is at the moment also one of his feet is still bigger than the
other! Although with all the walking he is doing, it's getting
smaller. In theory, we would have to spend about 160 on two pairs of
shoes from the catalogue since I suspect one foot is a size bigger
than the other and if neither pair fitted we'd have to spend another
160- I am not saying we're poor but we could pretty soon bankrupt
ourselves on shoes! And Dave is not Imelda Marcos!

But Claus says if he refers Dave to have custom made shoes (which
would also benot put pressure on vulnerable areas of his skin) then it
will become a funding issue and we all know how long it took for the
crutch to get sorted because of that! But as I said to Dave "Let it be
their funding issue- not ours!" (You really don't want to know what
this whole sorry business has cost me....I am just glad I had a bit to
fall back on and I fell back on it hard!)

Anyway Tuesday should be fun

I have the day off as carer's leave since Dave has the chiropodist
coming round (assuming he does). The letter said between 1.30 and 4.30
but being naughty I told my boss (Work is Hell at the moment. Helena
has now been off sick for a month and one of the other secretaries has
been so far out of order with me. Sorry I was stunned that she would
storm into my office, shout at me and when I reached for the phone to
do something, she would slap my hand away and tell me I was an
"f***ing stupid child" that when she calmed down and gave me a short
apology I accepted it! I shouldn't have but we're all under stress)
that it was 9.30 to 4.30 so I am on the understanding that once the
chiropodist is let in I will come to work....

Yeah right what I have managed to do is get Claus to come at 9.30 with
his assistant who will be coming twice a week to really push Dave.
This means I can talk to Claus about the footwear issue perhaps even
suggest that one expedition might be for them to go to Stratford with
Dave and look for a pair of suitable trainers? Or else that he should
be filling in his orthoptic referral form even if it does become a
cost issue.

Then we have the district nurse to do his foot assuming they don't
both come at the same time

And finally the chiropodist if they turn up if not a formal complaint
goes in

We'll see

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

I'm glad some things are looking better. It's great that Dave is getting
around on his own more.

Socks with sandals may not be the greatest fashion statement, but they could
solve the 'cold toes' problem until he can get some shoes.

--
Joy

Constant change is here to stay.

"Lesley" wrote in message
...
What I thought was going to be a head cold vanished after we played
the new DVD of "Song remains the Same"- probably headbanged the snot
out (Dear God if I lived in Newham and went to those "Warm Spots" I'd
be a riot- Dave and me had an amusing half hour working out all the
music stars that would be eligible (by age anyway) to attend and
imagining the reaction of well meaning patronising idiots trying to
persuade the likes of Iggy Pop to play Bingo)

Dave said yesterday it is now just over a week since the wheelchair
left the living room. He sits on it because it's easier when he's on
the computer (the computer chair is a bit low and the mechanism is
broken - we have a new one but it's still boxed up and Claus has
advised Dave to wait on the matter of chair with castors) but he walks
into the living room, to the kitchen, to the bathroom etc. He even
managed to make his first meal since coming home on Wednesday- okay it
was salad and the salad was pre-prepared but he managed to get into
the kitchen, take a plate and some cutlery out, get things from the
fridge and put them on the plate then carry his salad back into the
living room...and of course, we all know how much dexterity and
balance that involves when you are making a ham salad and have
cats....

On Thursday I got up and found that the kettle was not working and
said some rude things it since I only got it in January. Dave said
some even ruder things since the man cannot face the morning without
coffee so before he got nastier than usual (and with jusitification
for a change) I went to work and he hid under the covers. When he woke
up he realised the alarm clock was off as well and he went into the
living room and found nothing worked..I shouldn't have been so rude
about the poor kettle..something had tripped the fuse (We suspect the
lamp in the living room so I got a new one yesterday-it had been
eating bulbs at an amazing rate) and the guy from the housing told
Dave what needed to be done and he got up and did it even through the
fusebox is a bit taller than he is so he had to stand on tiptoe and at
an awkward angle

So all is going well in that area..

The district nurses think 2-3 more visits and Dave's ankle will have
healed completely then they will just pop round from time to time to
see he's okay for a few months and Claus thinks with a bit of luck,
Dave will be independent and able to go out alone with perhaps only
the crutch maybe not even that by the end of December-early January so
it might be almost over by Xmas. I mean we are thinking of asking them
to take the frame away because the only person in the house who gets
any use out of it now is Dunzi who has found the fleece lined arm
rests to be the right size for a small kitten like her to snuggle into

Anyway there still some small thorns on the path

Dave took delivery of the toe cap thingy the tissue viability nurse
wants him to wear...it looks like a fingerless glove for a small
child! I have small hands (About the only bit of me that is small) and
I couldn't not get it over my fingers! How Dave is supposed to get his
foot into it we have not the faintest idea! Certainly if he did have
his foot forced into it, it would be like Chinese foot binding! Claus
has been trying to talk to the people but they have so far not
returned his calls and he has been trying for 2 weeks so I think they
are not likely to!

Also Claus is mentioining Dave should go out more and also he should
not get his toes cold because that would be bad for his circulation..

It's almost December so we have a problem (and Dave is also using "I
can't get my toes cold" as an excuse not to go out) since Dave is
still wearing plastic sandals with his toes exposed

Claus is frankly amazed the orthotic service didn't offer to make Dave
some shoes but they didn't. They gave us a catalogue of expensive
shoes with no return policy and Dave doesn't even know what his shoe
size is at the moment also one of his feet is still bigger than the
other! Although with all the walking he is doing, it's getting
smaller. In theory, we would have to spend about 160 on two pairs of
shoes from the catalogue since I suspect one foot is a size bigger
than the other and if neither pair fitted we'd have to spend another
160- I am not saying we're poor but we could pretty soon bankrupt
ourselves on shoes! And Dave is not Imelda Marcos!

But Claus says if he refers Dave to have custom made shoes (which
would also benot put pressure on vulnerable areas of his skin) then it
will become a funding issue and we all know how long it took for the
crutch to get sorted because of that! But as I said to Dave "Let it be
their funding issue- not ours!" (You really don't want to know what
this whole sorry business has cost me....I am just glad I had a bit to
fall back on and I fell back on it hard!)

Anyway Tuesday should be fun

I have the day off as carer's leave since Dave has the chiropodist
coming round (assuming he does). The letter said between 1.30 and 4.30
but being naughty I told my boss (Work is Hell at the moment. Helena
has now been off sick for a month and one of the other secretaries has
been so far out of order with me. Sorry I was stunned that she would
storm into my office, shout at me and when I reached for the phone to
do something, she would slap my hand away and tell me I was an
"f***ing stupid child" that when she calmed down and gave me a short
apology I accepted it! I shouldn't have but we're all under stress)
that it was 9.30 to 4.30 so I am on the understanding that once the
chiropodist is let in I will come to work....

Yeah right what I have managed to do is get Claus to come at 9.30 with
his assistant who will be coming twice a week to really push Dave.
This means I can talk to Claus about the footwear issue perhaps even
suggest that one expedition might be for them to go to Stratford with
Dave and look for a pair of suitable trainers? Or else that he should
be filling in his orthoptic referral form even if it does become a
cost issue.

Then we have the district nurse to do his foot assuming they don't
both come at the same time

And finally the chiropodist if they turn up if not a formal complaint
goes in

We'll see

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs