goodbye, Eros

It feels awful to know that I'll never bury my face in his fur again; never
get a hug from him; never watch him slide out as he chases a toy across the
hardwood of our front hall. I'll be able to visit and play with him while
he's at the shelter, but I'll never really know that his new owners will treat
him well. It does help a bit to see my husband healthy and to see Oscar
making herself comfortable around the house again, now that we've convinced
her that Eros isn't around. But I don't think I'll stop crying
intermittently, or blaming myself, for quite a while.

Thanks for listening (reading).

I know how hard it is to give up an animal. I experienced that with a
dog that my ex-wife and I rescued with the full intention of finding it
a loving permanent home. Even knowing from day one that the dog would be
going to live elsewhere didn't make it any easier.

You really can't blame yourself. You were motivated by a love for
animals and an honest intention to give Eros a loving home. There was no
way you could have known that Oscar wouldn't take to Eros. The bottom
line is that you tried, you did your best, and it was just one of those
things that wasn't meant to be.

From the way you describe Eros it won't take long to find his OneTrueHome.

Dan

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-11-22, Yoj penned:
((((((((Monique)))))))) (That's a cyber-hug)

I'm so sorry you had to give him away when you obviously fell in
love with
him. You did the best you could, and what seemed to be right for
everyone.
I'm sure he'll find another loving home. I'm also sure you'll
grieve for a
long time, but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that you did
your
best.

Joy


Thank you.

I'm wondering if this is an object lesson in humility and
understanding,
or something. One reason I expected the shelter workers and everyone
to
look down on me is because I have never had any compassion for someone
who would give up their pets. I simply couldn't imagine anyone giving
up their pets if they were responsible pet owners and good people.
So,
now, I see myself as an irresponsible pet owner and bad person. At
least I'm consistent! ... and maybe I've learned a little about that
"judge not, lest ye be judged yerself" bit. Not that I'm a big fan of
that book as a whole, but there are some good quotes.

It does bum me out to realize that Oscar probably won't tolerate
another cat
in the house, and that I'd certainly be too scared to try. And it
seems like
the only way to know about the allergies is to have Eric live with the
cat for
a while. So ... I wonder whether there will ever be other cats in my
future,
aside from Oscar. That makes me sad. On the plus side, Eric's not
allergic
to dogs, and Oscar has actually done fairly well living with dogs in
the past.
But we really don't have time for one. If we did, we'd have one
already!

--
monique

I can see why that would make you sad.

I hope you will be able to forgive yourself. You are neither
irresponsible nor a bad person. You had an impossible situation to deal
with, and you have Eros the chance to find a home where he will be loved
and appreciated, where there won't be another cat trying to force him
out, and where he doesn't make anyone ill. It isn't your fault that
your home only fulfilled the first of those three requirements.

Joy

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-11-22, Yoj penned:
((((((((Monique)))))))) (That's a cyber-hug)

I'm so sorry you had to give him away when you obviously fell in
love with
him. You did the best you could, and what seemed to be right for
everyone.
I'm sure he'll find another loving home. I'm also sure you'll
grieve for a
long time, but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that you did
your
best.

Joy


Thank you.

I'm wondering if this is an object lesson in humility and
understanding,
or something. One reason I expected the shelter workers and everyone
to
look down on me is because I have never had any compassion for someone
who would give up their pets. I simply couldn't imagine anyone giving
up their pets if they were responsible pet owners and good people.
So,
now, I see myself as an irresponsible pet owner and bad person. At
least I'm consistent! ... and maybe I've learned a little about that
"judge not, lest ye be judged yerself" bit. Not that I'm a big fan of
that book as a whole, but there are some good quotes.

It does bum me out to realize that Oscar probably won't tolerate
another cat
in the house, and that I'd certainly be too scared to try. And it
seems like
the only way to know about the allergies is to have Eric live with the
cat for
a while. So ... I wonder whether there will ever be other cats in my
future,
aside from Oscar. That makes me sad. On the plus side, Eric's not
allergic
to dogs, and Oscar has actually done fairly well living with dogs in
the past.
But we really don't have time for one. If we did, we'd have one
already!

--
monique

I can see why that would make you sad.

I hope you will be able to forgive yourself. You are neither
irresponsible nor a bad person. You had an impossible situation to deal
with, and you have Eros the chance to find a home where he will be loved
and appreciated, where there won't be another cat trying to force him
out, and where he doesn't make anyone ill. It isn't your fault that
your home only fulfilled the first of those three requirements.

Joy

Monique,

I once had a girl-cat like your Oscar who would get lonely when the house
was empty - which it very often was. I got her a kitten but she never
accepted him. Still, I didn't give him away, I couldn't bear to, but before
he got very old he was killed by a car. After a while, I tried again with
another potential companion. This didn't work out, either, and I gave the
kitten to a farmer. Tried again with a third, and a fourth new kitten. She
never accepted either of them either, and both were given away to new loving
homes.

If I had known at the time how well cats get along with ferrets, I might
have gotten her a ferret for a companion. They may not have the same
dominance issues as two cats will. It's hard to ferret-proof a dwelling but
might be worth looking into if you really want Oscar to have a playmate.

You might even consider getting two ferrets that can play together, that way
if Oscar isn't interested then at least you won't have a lonely and bored
ferret in the house too, and maybe, if you're lucky, Oscar will like playing
with the ferrets, or at least be amused by watching them play together.

Pat

Monique,

I once had a girl-cat like your Oscar who would get lonely when the house
was empty - which it very often was. I got her a kitten but she never
accepted him. Still, I didn't give him away, I couldn't bear to, but before
he got very old he was killed by a car. After a while, I tried again with
another potential companion. This didn't work out, either, and I gave the
kitten to a farmer. Tried again with a third, and a fourth new kitten. She
never accepted either of them either, and both were given away to new loving
homes.

If I had known at the time how well cats get along with ferrets, I might
have gotten her a ferret for a companion. They may not have the same
dominance issues as two cats will. It's hard to ferret-proof a dwelling but
might be worth looking into if you really want Oscar to have a playmate.

You might even consider getting two ferrets that can play together, that way
if Oscar isn't interested then at least you won't have a lonely and bored
ferret in the house too, and maybe, if you're lucky, Oscar will like playing
with the ferrets, or at least be amused by watching them play together.

Pat

"Pat" had some very interesting things
to say about goodbye, Eros:

You might even consider getting two ferrets that can play together, that way
if Oscar isn't interested then at least you won't have a lonely and bored
ferret in the house too, and maybe, if you're lucky, Oscar will like playing
with the ferrets, or at least be amused by watching them play together.

If Monique lives in California, this isn't an option. For some reason
I have no clue about [but it's probably dumb, IMO], California is the
*only* state in the US in which ferrets are not legal pets.

--
"The universe is quite robust in design and appears to be
doing just fine on its own, incompetent support staff notwithstanding.
:-)" - the Dennis formerly known as (evil), MCFL

"Pat" had some very interesting things
to say about goodbye, Eros:

You might even consider getting two ferrets that can play together, that way
if Oscar isn't interested then at least you won't have a lonely and bored
ferret in the house too, and maybe, if you're lucky, Oscar will like playing
with the ferrets, or at least be amused by watching them play together.

If Monique lives in California, this isn't an option. For some reason
I have no clue about [but it's probably dumb, IMO], California is the
*only* state in the US in which ferrets are not legal pets.

--
"The universe is quite robust in design and appears to be
doing just fine on its own, incompetent support staff notwithstanding.
:-)" - the Dennis formerly known as (evil), MCFL

in article , Monique Y. Mudama at
wrote on 11/22/04 6:24 PM:

On 2004-11-22, Yoj penned:
((((((((Monique)))))))) (That's a cyber-hug)

I'm so sorry you had to give him away when you obviously fell in love with
him. You did the best you could, and what seemed to be right for everyone.
I'm sure he'll find another loving home. I'm also sure you'll grieve for a
long time, but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that you did your
best.

Joy


Thank you.

I'm wondering if this is an object lesson in humility and understanding,
or something. One reason I expected the shelter workers and everyone to
look down on me is because I have never had any compassion for someone
who would give up their pets. I simply couldn't imagine anyone giving
up their pets if they were responsible pet owners and good people. So,
now, I see myself as an irresponsible pet owner and bad person. At
least I'm consistent! ... and maybe I've learned a little about that
"judge not, lest ye be judged yerself" bit. Not that I'm a big fan of
that book as a whole, but there are some good quotes.

It does bum me out to realize that Oscar probably won't tolerate another cat
in the house, and that I'd certainly be too scared to try. And it seems like
the only way to know about the allergies is to have Eric live with the cat for
a while. So ... I wonder whether there will ever be other cats in my future,
aside from Oscar. That makes me sad. On the plus side, Eric's not allergic
to dogs, and Oscar has actually done fairly well living with dogs in the past.
But we really don't have time for one. If we did, we'd have one already!


Well, you could enter a foster program thereby doing good and then if OScar
accepts one, you could adopt. You would just need to set up a foster room.
It's an idea.

in article , Monique Y. Mudama at
wrote on 11/22/04 6:24 PM:

On 2004-11-22, Yoj penned:
((((((((Monique)))))))) (That's a cyber-hug)

I'm so sorry you had to give him away when you obviously fell in love with
him. You did the best you could, and what seemed to be right for everyone.
I'm sure he'll find another loving home. I'm also sure you'll grieve for a
long time, but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that you did your
best.

Joy


Thank you.

I'm wondering if this is an object lesson in humility and understanding,
or something. One reason I expected the shelter workers and everyone to
look down on me is because I have never had any compassion for someone
who would give up their pets. I simply couldn't imagine anyone giving
up their pets if they were responsible pet owners and good people. So,
now, I see myself as an irresponsible pet owner and bad person. At
least I'm consistent! ... and maybe I've learned a little about that
"judge not, lest ye be judged yerself" bit. Not that I'm a big fan of
that book as a whole, but there are some good quotes.

It does bum me out to realize that Oscar probably won't tolerate another cat
in the house, and that I'd certainly be too scared to try. And it seems like
the only way to know about the allergies is to have Eric live with the cat for
a while. So ... I wonder whether there will ever be other cats in my future,
aside from Oscar. That makes me sad. On the plus side, Eric's not allergic
to dogs, and Oscar has actually done fairly well living with dogs in the past.
But we really don't have time for one. If we did, we'd have one already!


Well, you could enter a foster program thereby doing good and then if OScar
accepts one, you could adopt. You would just need to set up a foster room.
It's an idea.

"Seanette Blaylock" wrote in
message ...
"Pat" had some very interesting things
to say about goodbye, Eros:

You might even consider getting two ferrets that can play together, that
way
if Oscar isn't interested then at least you won't have a lonely and bored
ferret in the house too, and maybe, if you're lucky, Oscar will like
playing
with the ferrets, or at least be amused by watching them play together.

If Monique lives in California, this isn't an option. For some reason
I have no clue about [but it's probably dumb, IMO], California is the
*only* state in the US in which ferrets are not legal pets.

--

Like that stops anyone who wants one. Big difference in California between
what is legal and what just is.

Jo