OT Joke of the day BW IS NEEDED MAJORLY

Magic Mood Jeep wrote:

Matthew posted:

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for
more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I
am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was
yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next
moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these
comments during the exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed that
the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately
male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

[snip]

This was hilarious, as Dave Barry's columns always are. I love the line
about "at one point briefly passing through Minneapolis".

But the above quoted sections of the original post point up something
that I have always been a bit confused about. I haven't had a colonoscopy
yet. But I'm unclear on the whole anaesthesia part. Are you out cold while
the procedure is going on? Dave's column seems to imply this. Yet if
patients are making comments, as in the second section, this implies
that you are *not* out cold during the procedure.

So, to those of you who have had one: do they, or do they not put you
completely under for the procedure?

I'm definitely due for one, so this has been on my mind. And I'm a lot
more concerned about having a "17,000 foot tube" up my butt than I am
with drinking gross liquid or being tethered to a toilet for a day or
so. I want to be completely unconscious for this. I want to hear an Abba
song one minute, and the next, I want some nice person to be telling me
it's all done. OK, I can do without the Abba song, but you know what I
mean.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

wrote in message
...
Magic Mood Jeep wrote:

Matthew posted:

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for
more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I
am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was
yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next
moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these
comments during the exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed
that
the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately
male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

[snip]

This was hilarious, as Dave Barry's columns always are. I love the line
about "at one point briefly passing through Minneapolis".

But the above quoted sections of the original post point up something
that I have always been a bit confused about. I haven't had a colonoscopy
yet. But I'm unclear on the whole anaesthesia part. Are you out cold while
the procedure is going on? Dave's column seems to imply this. Yet if
patients are making comments, as in the second section, this implies
that you are *not* out cold during the procedure.

So, to those of you who have had one: do they, or do they not put you
completely under for the procedure?

I'm definitely due for one, so this has been on my mind. And I'm a lot
more concerned about having a "17,000 foot tube" up my butt than I am
with drinking gross liquid or being tethered to a toilet for a day or
so. I want to be completely unconscious for this. I want to hear an Abba
song one minute, and the next, I want some nice person to be telling me
it's all done. OK, I can do without the Abba song, but you know what I
mean.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

It is your choice most doctors want you to be out so they don't have to
deal with the above most people don't want to know

The average human has 17-30+ feet of intestines that is basically a flag
pole going where no one should go

The drink makes you empty your bowels like you have never emptied them
before IF you have ever got a piece of chicken not cooked properly and
visited the bathroom 3 times in a row be prepared it is worse.

I had one done not long ago. The doctor was getting ready to do the
procedure and I was awake. He started to prepare and had some problems with
the coil. I in turn started to crack some jokes since I am on a table and
all exposed. I had them all laughing. He started to insert and I said
WOOOO WOOO doc He said what is the problem I said "what no flowers,
candy or even a kiss first". He started laughing so hard he left the room.

wrote in message
...
Magic Mood Jeep wrote:

Matthew posted:

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for
more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I
am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was
yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next
moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these
comments during the exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed
that
the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately
male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

[snip]

This was hilarious, as Dave Barry's columns always are. I love the line
about "at one point briefly passing through Minneapolis".

But the above quoted sections of the original post point up something
that I have always been a bit confused about. I haven't had a colonoscopy
yet. But I'm unclear on the whole anaesthesia part. Are you out cold while
the procedure is going on? Dave's column seems to imply this. Yet if
patients are making comments, as in the second section, this implies
that you are *not* out cold during the procedure.

So, to those of you who have had one: do they, or do they not put you
completely under for the procedure?

I'm definitely due for one, so this has been on my mind. And I'm a lot
more concerned about having a "17,000 foot tube" up my butt than I am
with drinking gross liquid or being tethered to a toilet for a day or
so. I want to be completely unconscious for this. I want to hear an Abba
song one minute, and the next, I want some nice person to be telling me
it's all done. OK, I can do without the Abba song, but you know what I
mean.

--
Joyce ^..^

I've had it done both ways. It is very uncomfortable if you are awake. Be
sure to let them know several days in advance that you want to be put out.

Joy

On 2009-03-04, wrote:

So, to those of you who have had one: do they, or do they not put you
completely under for the procedure?

The procedure isn't particularly painful. I think they put you under
so you won't run away when you see the colonscope. I had light sedation.
I think less is better because you have less recovery time.

Bud

William Hamblen wrote:

On 2009-03-04, wrote:

So, to those of you who have had one: do they, or do they not put you
completely under for the procedure?

The procedure isn't particularly painful. I think they put you under
so you won't run away when you see the colonscope. I had light sedation.
I think less is better because you have less recovery time.

Well, I had an impacted wisdom tooth extracted once and they gave
me pentothal. I don't remember a thing about the procedure, and I had
that lovely experience of watching the chemicals come down the tube
toward the IV in my arm one second, and the next second (or so it
seemed) I heard a voice in the darkness say, "OK, we're all done".
I was actually out for about 10 minutes - that's how long it took
them to remove the tooth. And it only took about 15 minutes for me
to come out of the fog once I woke up, although I wasn't fit to drive
and had to be picked up by a friend.

That's how I want a colonoscopy to be. I don't want to be cogent
enough to make jokes!

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

wrote in message
...
Magic Mood Jeep wrote:

Matthew posted:

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for
more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I
am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was
yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next
moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these
comments during the exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed
that
the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately
male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

[snip]

This was hilarious, as Dave Barry's columns always are. I love the line
about "at one point briefly passing through Minneapolis".

But the above quoted sections of the original post point up something
that I have always been a bit confused about. I haven't had a colonoscopy
yet. But I'm unclear on the whole anaesthesia part. Are you out cold while
the procedure is going on? Dave's column seems to imply this. Yet if
patients are making comments, as in the second section, this implies
that you are *not* out cold during the procedure.

So, to those of you who have had one: do they, or do they not put you
completely under for the procedure?

I'm definitely due for one, so this has been on my mind. And I'm a lot
more concerned about having a "17,000 foot tube" up my butt than I am
with drinking gross liquid or being tethered to a toilet for a day or
so. I want to be completely unconscious for this. I want to hear an Abba
song one minute, and the next, I want some nice person to be telling me
it's all done. OK, I can do without the Abba song, but you know what I
mean.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.


Obviously the author was being facetious I think they usually knock you
out for a colonoscopy. I've never had one. But I had to have that barium
enema thing after my hospitalization for diverticulitis. So the surgeon
(who suddenly decided I didn't need surgery when he found out I don't have
insurance) could get a good look at my colon. I had to drink a lot of
hideous stuff first. They didn't give me anesthesia. It was extremely
painful and felt just like what I'd been in the hospital for in the first
place. And they didn't even play an Abba song. There was no music, just me
practically screaming. I'm never going to let anyone give me a colonscopy
without some serious drugs first.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
wrote in message
...
Magic Mood Jeep wrote:

Matthew posted:

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for
more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I
am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was
yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next
moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but
these
comments during the exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed
that
the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately
male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

[snip]

This was hilarious, as Dave Barry's columns always are. I love the line
about "at one point briefly passing through Minneapolis".

But the above quoted sections of the original post point up something
that I have always been a bit confused about. I haven't had a colonoscopy
yet. But I'm unclear on the whole anaesthesia part. Are you out cold
while
the procedure is going on? Dave's column seems to imply this. Yet if
patients are making comments, as in the second section, this implies
that you are *not* out cold during the procedure.

So, to those of you who have had one: do they, or do they not put you
completely under for the procedure?

I'm definitely due for one, so this has been on my mind. And I'm a lot
more concerned about having a "17,000 foot tube" up my butt than I am
with drinking gross liquid or being tethered to a toilet for a day or
so. I want to be completely unconscious for this. I want to hear an Abba
song one minute, and the next, I want some nice person to be telling me
it's all done. OK, I can do without the Abba song, but you know what I
mean.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.


Obviously the author was being facetious I think they usually knock
you out for a colonoscopy. I've never had one. But I had to have that
barium enema thing after my hospitalization for diverticulitis. So the
surgeon (who suddenly decided I didn't need surgery when he found out I
don't have insurance) could get a good look at my colon. I had to drink a
lot of hideous stuff first. They didn't give me anesthesia. It was
extremely painful and felt just like what I'd been in the hospital for in
the first place. And they didn't even play an Abba song. There was no
music, just me practically screaming. I'm never going to let anyone give
me a colonscopy without some serious drugs first.

Jill

I was wide awake for mine. The prep the days before and being exposed is
worse than actually procedure