Completetly natural care for felines...

First, I think it's essential to respect your feline master at
all levels. At cat's natural state of being is as a predator.
So, it's important to respect your cat's self esteem by providing
plenty of mice, rats, and cockroaches for your cat to play with.

Second, I do believe it's important to respect your feline
master's historical context. You see, no one in the historic
feline kingdom has ever used machined or manufactured goods. So
it's essential for you when you approach your feline master, to
completely avoid any manufactured goods. This means you should
shower in warm water, to remove all artificial scents. Using only
scent free baking soda as a scrub. Never dry yourself with a
towel, as this will risk the manufactured scent. And never wear
any shoes or clothes when going out to feed your feline master.

Always greet your feline master by rubbing noses, and then
licking him all over from head to toe. In the most friendly
greeting fashion. Expect him to do the same, as is their custom.
Be sure to then lay on your back, and let him sniff and explore
any part of your body which he wants. It's only right, after all
we have done to his ancestors. You wouldn't want to traumatize
him!

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"HillaryN08" wrote in message
...
Hello,

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want
to provide
completetly natural care for my companion.

He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most
happy and
healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I
don't want him
indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism.
Plus, he is
tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he
sees that mad
man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!

Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some
neocon
tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on
outside for
him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his
emotional and
mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was
inadvertently tuned to
the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon
behavior, such
as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese)
felines and
African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed
speciest
behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and
chimpmunks. I had
no choice but to declaw him.

He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly
explore his
sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run
like a child in
a field!

What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered,
declawed,
outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions,
followed by
chocolate pudding as dessert.

Thanks!

HillaryN08 wrote:

(Trolling nonsense snipped)

P-L-O-N-K!

"HillaryN08" wrote in message
...
Hello,

I have a two year old, human companion, male, feline friend.

As a stern vegetarian and animal rights (PeTA) activist, I want to provide
completetly natural care for my companion.

He is an outdoor-only companion, as I believe animals are most happy and
healthy when they are in their own natural environments. I don't want him
indoors where he would be subjected to human materialism. Plus, he is
tramautized when he sees George W. Bush on TV. Whenever he sees that mad
man on TV, he hisses, growls, and bats at the TV. Smart kitty!

Unfortunetly, my human companion feline was tainted by some neocon
tendencies. When he was a child, I used to leave a radio on outside for
him. I kept the radio tuned to NPR Public Radio for his emotional and
mental growth, but unfortunetly one day the radio was inadvertently tuned
to the Rush Limbaugh Show. He immiedietly developed rabid necon behavior,
such as racist hissing and growling at Asian-American (Siamese) felines
and African-American (black) felines. Worse yet, he even developed
speciest behavor and began commiting hate crimes against birds and
chimpmunks. I had no choice but to declaw him.

He is un-neutered, as I believe he should be allowed to openly explore his
sexuality no different than I do. Run with it, kitty! Run like a child
in a field!

What is the recommended diet for the vegetarian, un-neutered, declawed,
outdoor-only, human companion, feline?

I currently feed him meal made from soybean and onions, followed by
chocolate pudding as dessert.

Thanks!





Oh well, at least this one has a sense of humour.....and do I detect hints
of intelligent life?