The Purina Diet - joke

I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

"badwilson" wrote:
I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

ROFLMAO. You're bad!

Randy

http://picasaweb.google.com/crmartin1

http://kittenwar.com/kittens/74045/

I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

ROFLMAO. You're bad!

Randy


Funny. I send it to all in my address book.

You need to warn us when you are going to make me laugh so had that my
drink is on my keyboard ;-)



"badwilson" wrote in message
...
I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

"Matthew" wrote in message
...
You need to warn us when you are going to make me laugh so had that my
drink is on my keyboard ;-)


I'm thinking that instead of just a blanket Dave keyboard warning, we need a
group keyboard warning.

It isn't just the Dave's anymore

Jo









"badwilson" wrote in message
...
I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

On Wed, 02 Aug 2006 17:33:50 +0800, badwilson wrote:

I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.


Shame on you! MLB

badwilson wrote:
I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.


I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

Great one, Britta! I guess that would turn a few heads in the line.

--
Sam, closely supervised by Mistletoe

"badwilson" wrote

I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Britta, this is really big news! Well, at least *I* was unaware that you are
a hermaphrodite.

Oh - you forgot one thing. You shoulda told that woman "Here's your sign!"

Pat wrote:
"badwilson" wrote

I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that
no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably
shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that
I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because
I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.

Britta, this is really big news! Well, at least *I* was unaware that
you are a hermaphrodite.

Oh - you forgot one thing. You shoulda told that woman "Here's your
sign!"

Haha. Obviously this is just a joke that I posted, I didn't actually
say any of that.
--
Britta
Purring is an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness
overflow.
Check out pictures of Vino at:
http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album

Gack! Phew! Vile! LOVE IT!!!

Blessed be,
Baha

badwilson wrote:

I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.