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#1
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
I'm curious as to whether any of you pet owners who thought you knew
it was "the right time" to euthanize your pet agonizingly second- guessed yourself afterwards. Two weeks ago today, my 12-year-old cat, Kelson, was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. Two weeks prior to that, I had been noticing that he had been having trouble jumping up on the bed, his favourite place to sleep - instead of one giant leap, he had to put his front paws on the bed, then jump up, and that when he hunched over to eat, his rear right leg slipped out to the side. Two weeks later, when he was cuddled up to me on his back while I was reading a book, I felt a baseball-sized lump on the inside of his upper leg while petting him. A year ago he had constipation, one symptom of which was a large lump in his tummy near his rear (the constipation), so I had been since feeling his belly once in a while to check for lumps. I believe I would have noticed such a large lump in his leg, so it happened very fast - from nothing, to baseball-sized in approximately two weeks. Two days after I discovered the lump, he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. To my surprise, Kelson had gone from 18.3 pounds to 15.5 over the past year. He was a big cat - not just overweight, but long and tall, and I had not noticed this weight loss. The vet said that given his age and breathing problems, he likely would not survive an amputation surgery, and recommended that I euthanize Kelson before I'd even left the office. "What a quack!" I thought, and hurried my cat out of there. The next week, Kelson was still fine - still eating, still loving his treats - so I decided to make an appointment to see an oncologist. This week I took off on vacation to spend some time with him. I noticed that he was spending more time under the bed, and realized that he likely could no longer jump onto the bed. Yesterday - Thursday - he took a turn for the worse. He was in obvious pain and couldn't walk anymore; when he tried, he would attempt to hobble along on three legs while holding his bad leg in the air. The tumor had grown. He couldn't get comfortable, and when he'd try to change positions, he couldn't stand up. It was heartbreaking to watch. I tried petting him, and he yowled when I touched his bad leg. The thing was, he was still loving his treats, still lapping up the milk that he loved so much that I put before him. But I'd done my research and knew this was a very aggressive type of cancer, there was no cure, and that I was not going to put him through the agony of an amputation surgery. I took him to an emergency clinic and had him euthanized. Now, all I can think is, did I do it too soon? After I got home, I researched euthansia for hours, crying my eyes out. One thing that struck me was that a lot of Web sites giving criteria for when you know it's time mention, "Is your pet having more bad days than good days?" Wait. You mean, maybe this was just a bad day, and he'd be better by the next day? Also, a lot of sites and/or pet owner accounts say the pet had stopped eating, or didn't enjoy the things they used to. Kelson did. He was still eating, still loving his treats, he just . . . couldn't move, couldn't stand. It broke my heart watching him try to get up, clutching the couch cushions with his claws, and trying to gather the momentum to stand. He'd give up, lie back down, and look at me with such sad eyes. As well, other stories I've read about osteosarcoma indicate that the pet lived for six months or so after diagnosis. Not 13 days. Is the progression of this cancer really that fast? From nothing, to a baseball-sized lump, to being unable to walk in less than four weeks? Now I'm thinking, maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I should have asked for painkillers. The fact that the vet at the emergency clinic agreed with my decision doesn't make me feel better. I haven't been able to stop crying. It's terrible enough to be the one responsible for deciding to put your pet down, but the second-guessing is much, much worse. How do you deal with that? Thank you. Kelson's Mom P.S. My apologies for such a long post. Writing is very cathartic for me. |
#2
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
I once read on this newsgroup "better a little too soon than a little too
late" with regard to euthanasia. I agree with this. I had my 17 year old cat with fibrosarcoma euthanized and she was still eating. She had lost weight, however, and the tumor on her leg was getting larger and larger. I did not want to wait until she was in pain and had to bring her in on an emergency basis (probably in the middle of the night or on a weekend). I chose to euthanize her at that point. Gail "neithskye" wrote in message ... I'm curious as to whether any of you pet owners who thought you knew it was "the right time" to euthanize your pet agonizingly second- guessed yourself afterwards. Two weeks ago today, my 12-year-old cat, Kelson, was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. Two weeks prior to that, I had been noticing that he had been having trouble jumping up on the bed, his favourite place to sleep - instead of one giant leap, he had to put his front paws on the bed, then jump up, and that when he hunched over to eat, his rear right leg slipped out to the side. Two weeks later, when he was cuddled up to me on his back while I was reading a book, I felt a baseball-sized lump on the inside of his upper leg while petting him. A year ago he had constipation, one symptom of which was a large lump in his tummy near his rear (the constipation), so I had been since feeling his belly once in a while to check for lumps. I believe I would have noticed such a large lump in his leg, so it happened very fast - from nothing, to baseball-sized in approximately two weeks. Two days after I discovered the lump, he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. To my surprise, Kelson had gone from 18.3 pounds to 15.5 over the past year. He was a big cat - not just overweight, but long and tall, and I had not noticed this weight loss. The vet said that given his age and breathing problems, he likely would not survive an amputation surgery, and recommended that I euthanize Kelson before I'd even left the office. "What a quack!" I thought, and hurried my cat out of there. The next week, Kelson was still fine - still eating, still loving his treats - so I decided to make an appointment to see an oncologist. This week I took off on vacation to spend some time with him. I noticed that he was spending more time under the bed, and realized that he likely could no longer jump onto the bed. Yesterday - Thursday - he took a turn for the worse. He was in obvious pain and couldn't walk anymore; when he tried, he would attempt to hobble along on three legs while holding his bad leg in the air. The tumor had grown. He couldn't get comfortable, and when he'd try to change positions, he couldn't stand up. It was heartbreaking to watch. I tried petting him, and he yowled when I touched his bad leg. The thing was, he was still loving his treats, still lapping up the milk that he loved so much that I put before him. But I'd done my research and knew this was a very aggressive type of cancer, there was no cure, and that I was not going to put him through the agony of an amputation surgery. I took him to an emergency clinic and had him euthanized. Now, all I can think is, did I do it too soon? After I got home, I researched euthansia for hours, crying my eyes out. One thing that struck me was that a lot of Web sites giving criteria for when you know it's time mention, "Is your pet having more bad days than good days?" Wait. You mean, maybe this was just a bad day, and he'd be better by the next day? Also, a lot of sites and/or pet owner accounts say the pet had stopped eating, or didn't enjoy the things they used to. Kelson did. He was still eating, still loving his treats, he just . . . couldn't move, couldn't stand. It broke my heart watching him try to get up, clutching the couch cushions with his claws, and trying to gather the momentum to stand. He'd give up, lie back down, and look at me with such sad eyes. As well, other stories I've read about osteosarcoma indicate that the pet lived for six months or so after diagnosis. Not 13 days. Is the progression of this cancer really that fast? From nothing, to a baseball-sized lump, to being unable to walk in less than four weeks? Now I'm thinking, maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I should have asked for painkillers. The fact that the vet at the emergency clinic agreed with my decision doesn't make me feel better. I haven't been able to stop crying. It's terrible enough to be the one responsible for deciding to put your pet down, but the second-guessing is much, much worse. How do you deal with that? Thank you. Kelson's Mom P.S. My apologies for such a long post. Writing is very cathartic for me. |
#3
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
"neithskye" wrote I took him to an emergency clinic and had him euthanized. Now, all I can think is, did I do it too soon? NO, you did not. By the time a cat actually shows that it is in pain, it is in' a LOT of pain. They are programmed not to show pain, maybe because predators look for weakened animals? Jill, I waited too long and will never forgive myself for it. I was in denial, could not see how emaciated my 20 year old cat was. I did see the look in her eyes as I wrapped her up in towels and held her like a baby, and fed her water and baby food by dribbling them into her mouth with a turkey baster. She was asking me to let her go. By the time I had the vet come to euthanize her, she was incontinent and so upset. I will never forgive myself for allowing her to suffer. You did a kind thing for your baby. I am sorry you had to lose him, but glad he had your very kind love and care. My heart hurts for you. |
#4
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
Don't second guess yourself....it will drive you crazy. I think you did the
right thing. We had a dog that developed a tumor in his mouth. How he continued to eat was beyond me but he did and with gusto. About a month later, he had a stroke or something and was unable to walk. But he still loved to eat. We made the decision to let him go....he was about 16 years old at the time and we weren't going to put him through a bunch of tests or treatments. It was hard to let him go but we know it was the right decision. Quality of life is what matters.... I'm sorry for the loss of your cat. It is never easy. I hope that the memories of all the joy he brought you helps you during this difficult time. S. -- **Visit me and my cats at http://www.island-cats.com/ ** --- "neithskye" wrote in message ... I'm curious as to whether any of you pet owners who thought you knew it was "the right time" to euthanize your pet agonizingly second- guessed yourself afterwards. Two weeks ago today, my 12-year-old cat, Kelson, was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. Two weeks prior to that, I had been noticing that he had been having trouble jumping up on the bed, his favourite place to sleep - instead of one giant leap, he had to put his front paws on the bed, then jump up, and that when he hunched over to eat, his rear right leg slipped out to the side. Two weeks later, when he was cuddled up to me on his back while I was reading a book, I felt a baseball-sized lump on the inside of his upper leg while petting him. A year ago he had constipation, one symptom of which was a large lump in his tummy near his rear (the constipation), so I had been since feeling his belly once in a while to check for lumps. I believe I would have noticed such a large lump in his leg, so it happened very fast - from nothing, to baseball-sized in approximately two weeks. Two days after I discovered the lump, he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. To my surprise, Kelson had gone from 18.3 pounds to 15.5 over the past year. He was a big cat - not just overweight, but long and tall, and I had not noticed this weight loss. The vet said that given his age and breathing problems, he likely would not survive an amputation surgery, and recommended that I euthanize Kelson before I'd even left the office. "What a quack!" I thought, and hurried my cat out of there. The next week, Kelson was still fine - still eating, still loving his treats - so I decided to make an appointment to see an oncologist. This week I took off on vacation to spend some time with him. I noticed that he was spending more time under the bed, and realized that he likely could no longer jump onto the bed. Yesterday - Thursday - he took a turn for the worse. He was in obvious pain and couldn't walk anymore; when he tried, he would attempt to hobble along on three legs while holding his bad leg in the air. The tumor had grown. He couldn't get comfortable, and when he'd try to change positions, he couldn't stand up. It was heartbreaking to watch. I tried petting him, and he yowled when I touched his bad leg. The thing was, he was still loving his treats, still lapping up the milk that he loved so much that I put before him. But I'd done my research and knew this was a very aggressive type of cancer, there was no cure, and that I was not going to put him through the agony of an amputation surgery. I took him to an emergency clinic and had him euthanized. Now, all I can think is, did I do it too soon? After I got home, I researched euthansia for hours, crying my eyes out. One thing that struck me was that a lot of Web sites giving criteria for when you know it's time mention, "Is your pet having more bad days than good days?" Wait. You mean, maybe this was just a bad day, and he'd be better by the next day? Also, a lot of sites and/or pet owner accounts say the pet had stopped eating, or didn't enjoy the things they used to. Kelson did. He was still eating, still loving his treats, he just . . . couldn't move, couldn't stand. It broke my heart watching him try to get up, clutching the couch cushions with his claws, and trying to gather the momentum to stand. He'd give up, lie back down, and look at me with such sad eyes. As well, other stories I've read about osteosarcoma indicate that the pet lived for six months or so after diagnosis. Not 13 days. Is the progression of this cancer really that fast? From nothing, to a baseball-sized lump, to being unable to walk in less than four weeks? Now I'm thinking, maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I should have asked for painkillers. The fact that the vet at the emergency clinic agreed with my decision doesn't make me feel better. I haven't been able to stop crying. It's terrible enough to be the one responsible for deciding to put your pet down, but the second-guessing is much, much worse. How do you deal with that? Thank you. Kelson's Mom P.S. My apologies for such a long post. Writing is very cathartic for me. |
#5
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
"neithskye" wrote in message ... I'm curious as to whether any of you pet owners who thought you knew it was "the right time" to euthanize your pet agonizingly second- guessed yourself afterwards. Two weeks ago today, my 12-year-old cat, Kelson, was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. Two weeks prior to that, I had been noticing that he had been having trouble jumping up on the bed, his favourite place to sleep - instead of one giant leap, he had to put his front paws on the bed, then jump up, and that when he hunched over to eat, his rear right leg slipped out to the side. Two weeks later, when he was cuddled up to me on his back while I was reading a book, I felt a baseball-sized lump on the inside of his upper leg while petting him. A year ago he had constipation, one symptom of which was a large lump in his tummy near his rear (the constipation), so I had been since feeling his belly once in a while to check for lumps. I believe I would have noticed such a large lump in his leg, so it happened very fast - from nothing, to baseball-sized in approximately two weeks. Two days after I discovered the lump, he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. To my surprise, Kelson had gone from 18.3 pounds to 15.5 over the past year. He was a big cat - not just overweight, but long and tall, and I had not noticed this weight loss. The vet said that given his age and breathing problems, he likely would not survive an amputation surgery, and recommended that I euthanize Kelson before I'd even left the office. "What a quack!" I thought, and hurried my cat out of there. The next week, Kelson was still fine - still eating, still loving his treats - so I decided to make an appointment to see an oncologist. This week I took off on vacation to spend some time with him. I noticed that he was spending more time under the bed, and realized that he likely could no longer jump onto the bed. Yesterday - Thursday - he took a turn for the worse. He was in obvious pain and couldn't walk anymore; when he tried, he would attempt to hobble along on three legs while holding his bad leg in the air. The tumor had grown. He couldn't get comfortable, and when he'd try to change positions, he couldn't stand up. It was heartbreaking to watch. I tried petting him, and he yowled when I touched his bad leg. The thing was, he was still loving his treats, still lapping up the milk that he loved so much that I put before him. But I'd done my research and knew this was a very aggressive type of cancer, there was no cure, and that I was not going to put him through the agony of an amputation surgery. I took him to an emergency clinic and had him euthanized. Now, all I can think is, did I do it too soon? After I got home, I researched euthansia for hours, crying my eyes out. One thing that struck me was that a lot of Web sites giving criteria for when you know it's time mention, "Is your pet having more bad days than good days?" Wait. You mean, maybe this was just a bad day, and he'd be better by the next day? Also, a lot of sites and/or pet owner accounts say the pet had stopped eating, or didn't enjoy the things they used to. Kelson did. He was still eating, still loving his treats, he just . . . couldn't move, couldn't stand. It broke my heart watching him try to get up, clutching the couch cushions with his claws, and trying to gather the momentum to stand. He'd give up, lie back down, and look at me with such sad eyes. As well, other stories I've read about osteosarcoma indicate that the pet lived for six months or so after diagnosis. Not 13 days. Is the progression of this cancer really that fast? From nothing, to a baseball-sized lump, to being unable to walk in less than four weeks? Now I'm thinking, maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I should have asked for painkillers. The fact that the vet at the emergency clinic agreed with my decision doesn't make me feel better. I haven't been able to stop crying. It's terrible enough to be the one responsible for deciding to put your pet down, but the second-guessing is much, much worse. How do you deal with that? Thank you. Kelson's Mom P.S. My apologies for such a long post. Writing is very cathartic for me. Don't try to second-guess yourself (although it is a lot easier to say that than to do it). You did the right thing. Cats are stoic and are well known to hide pain. So, a cat that shows pain is probably in a *lot* of pain and may have been suffering for a long time. You took steps to alleviate that pain, and you gave Kelson the final gift of love by making that most difficult of all decisions. MaryL |
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
I would just like to say how very sorry for your loss. So very sorry.
It is hard to lose a pet but you did the right thing. |
#7
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
neithskye wrote:
But I'd done my research and knew this was a very aggressive type of cancer, there was no cure, and that I was not going to put him through the agony of an amputation surgery. I took him to an emergency clinic and had him euthanized. Now, all I can think is, did I do it too soon? No, you did what was best for your cat with the best of intentions. His behavior had already told you that the time had come to let him go in peace & not to allow any further suffering. Don't second-guess yourself because whatever you might have done as a 'treatment' plan would not have changed the outcome, but instead would have been awful to watch as Kelson further deteriorated. I also waited far too long with my beloved orange cat Ginger who'd been rescued 16 years earlier from a research center. He suffered with thyroid & chronic renal failure for probably 4 years & with medication, fluids, forced feedings, I was able to keep him going long after he should have been euthanized. I still remember his sad eyes looking at me whenever I'd give him his pills, or syringe down some food. Once I finally asked myself the question "who are you really doing this for?", I made the arrangements to put him to sleep & stayed with him till the end. When I put together an album of pictures of all my cats last summer & put the album up on webshots, the reality of Ginger's last year(s) became explicit. There's an awful last picture of him about a month before the end, gaunt, sad & I won't remove it because it's a reminder to me to never again prolong a pet's life unnecessarily. You gave him love throughout his life & a painless end. It's a difficult role we play with our pets, but it comes with ownership. M. -- Message posted via CatKB.com http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx...ealth/200803/1 |
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
"mariib via CatKB.com" wrote Thank you for a true and honest tale and being willing to tell it. All of us make mistakes. When my cat 'Face' (she just had one of those faces and the name stuck) died at 14, her life long buddy Roscoe missed her something fierce and went to join her about a month later. I had taken him to the vet as he'd stopped eating much but was still drinking water. The vet said he was comfortable at the time but he would not last long and to bring him in if he seemed to suffer any pain. He had a heart condition and it quietly stopped one night in his sleep. He was just under age 14, and due to being a pet farm breeding failure (failure to thrive syndrome, weak heart etc) was not expected to live to his 5th birthday but he instead had a happy gentle long run. When Face died, I just 'knew' Roscoe would not be long behind her. |
#9
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
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#10
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Euthanasia - The Second-Guessing
On Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:11:10 -0700 (PDT), neithskye
wrote: I'm curious as to whether any of you pet owners who thought you knew it was "the right time" to euthanize your pet agonizingly second- guessed yourself afterwards. We all agonize over whether we waited too long or did it too soon. And just as soon as the furballs learn to talk we can discuss it with them. Until then, we do the best we can, as you did. |
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