Betty's beginning

Takayuki wrote:

In my mind, it was always Betty who was special and magical. She
would have been all that independent of me. Or at least, I hope. I
had a great deal of respect and admiration for her, and to me, part of
that was acknowledging that out of necessity, our relationship was
asymmetrical, and that she had graciously sacrificed some freedoms to
be bonded to her hoomin, but that despite that, she remained her own
individual.

Betty was special and magical independent of you, yes. But if she had
ended up with someone who didn't appreciate her, they would not have
had the magical connection she had with you. That takes two.

Joyce

Takayuki wrote:
I'd like to repost some posts from and about when Betty was first
adopted. I've thought so much about Betty's end that I feel that I
need to revisit the beginning too.

I'll never have any more new experiences with Betty. These memories
are all I have left. So this is me being selfish, about my need to
work backwards to reintegrate and recover what I lost.

I've sometimes doubted that there could be any recovery from losing a
kitty. Betty's ashes weren't going to reconstitute themselves into
the purry companion I knew. Day after day, it was the same. There
was no progress, no change, no process for healing.

But when the time came that I could recall the beginning on its own as
the joyful time it was, I found I could cut my pain in half. Because
half my thoughts were of Betty's end, and half my thoughts were of
Betty's beginning.

If it is possible to halve the sorrow, maybe someday it will be
possible to halve them again. I'm beginning to think that it is okay
to remember and rejoice in the precious moments Betty and I had
together. This was the way things began for us.

Thanks for posting these Tak. I enjoy reading them very much. You have such a
kind soul. Betty was lucky to have you in her life.

Randy


http://picasaweb.google.com/crmartin1

http://kittenwar.com/kittens/74045/

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
"CatNipped" wrote:
I can't believe you remember my Prissy stories! They were posted waaaaaay
back when (I think I was one of the first posters to rpc - I have been
owned
by cats my entire life, indeed I'm a hopeless ailurophile and also a
hopeless technophile so I was on the internet looking for information
about
cats from its inception). When rpc was splitting into the various groups
I
got disappointed about all the flame wars surrounding the split so *I*
"split" for quite some time. I was *VERY* pleasantly surprised to find
rpca
alive and well and embodying the original spirit of the group when I came
back again a little over two years ago now.

I have Prissy's stories here,
http://www.possibleplaces.com/lorishouse/prissy.html, (I put the entirety
of
"Lori's House" on my new web server - it's hopelessly out of date, but I
wanted to archive some of the things I had on it). I was trying to build
a
framework around the original stories I wrote to turn it into a children's
book, but I was too discouraged by what it takes to get a book published
to
put in the effort needed for the project. The original stories can be
found
under the chapter headings.

I would like to read the chapter about the Rainbow Bridge, her
progeny, and the others someday.

I didn't realize you had your entire old site copied there. I
think the site I remembered was an older version, although it's pretty
much the same - it had Devil in the Blue Dress playing on the sitemap
page, for example.

I felt I should thank you for your stories. I couldn't have predicted
that someday you would comment on mine, too.

I love your style of writing. I tend towards humor in my writing, but with
your writing you seem to reach out and touch a person's heart strings and
make them sing like an angel playing a harp!

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
"Pat" wrote:
"Takayuki" wrote

When I became more acquainted with the group, I think
that everyone was boggled by my attitude at the time that cat
ownership was not something for me to experience first-hand, but a
field of study to enjoy reading and studying, like it was literature,
history, or cultural anthropology.

When I went to the local shelter after some prodding, I thought it
would at least be a good opportunity to learn more about these
fascinating creatures. But then I saw Betty huddled in a cage.

If the urge to visit a shelter ever happens again, Tak, you might want to
consider taking a pair of deserving furbabies home with you. It can be
hard
for shelters to adopt out as pairs the cats who need to stay together, and
it sounds like having two (or more) cats around would be best since you
live
alone and are not at home as much as some of us are.

With a non-retired single person, there's only half a day of
hoomin-kitty contact during weekdays, although weekends are more free.
When I originally got Betty, I spoke to the shelter personnel about
that, and they said that I was right to think that Betty would be a
good match. They felt that she was a bit shy and probably aloof, and
not particularly social or needy. I found out pretty quickly that
that was just her shelter personality. All I managed to sense from
her when I was with her at the shelter was that she was very sad.

I used to wonder if Betty was lonely while I was at work, and I would
come home at various times to check on her (I work about 3 minutes
from my house). I found that she actually has a sleeping schedule
that she's synchronized with my work schedule, and that if I come home
early, she'll just be sleepy, and that she's not fully up until around
the time I normally come home.

I agree, Tak. Cats sleep an average of 18 hours a day - and "single" cats
tend to do that sleeping when their humans are away. There are some cats
that are very sociable and do better with other cats in the house, but you
can find many, many cats who like to be the sole feline inhabitant even when
their human is away a lot.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
In my mind, it was always Betty who was special and magical. She would
have been all that independent of me. Or at least, I hope. I had a great
deal of respect and admiration for her, and to me, part of that was
acknowledging that out of necessity, our relationship was
asymmetrical, and that she had graciously sacrificed some freedoms to be
bonded to her hoomin, but that despite that, she remained her own
individual.


Tak,

I have noticed that any time we get something in life, we give something up.
The exchange is not always even. More often than not, it is not even.
That's just the way it is. At least, that's the way it applies to people.

I believe that domestic animals must take what they get. Whenever a new
litter of kittens arrives, it's a crap shoot as to who will take them or
wherever they will end up.Some have to be more resourceful than others to
survive.

I can't imagine what freedoms Betty sacrificed to be bonded with you. She
was in a rather dire situation when you took her home.

I shudder to think what might have become of her without you.

And, yes, she was always her own individual. That is part of being a cat.

What you did that was special was to pick up on her communication that she
was sad. The shelter people thought she was shy and aloof. You found out
how wrong they were and how right you were.

Betty reached out to you and you made her dreams come true. Acknowledging
and accepting your part does not in any way diminish your ability to admire
and respect Betty. She chose you. Please do not belittle her choice. You
lived up to her every expectation and possibly more, regardless what you may
think or say.

Annie

Annie Wxill wrote:

What you did that was special was to pick up on her communication that she
was sad. The shelter people thought she was shy and aloof. You found out
how wrong they were and how right you were.

Betty reached out to you and you made her dreams come true. Acknowledging
and accepting your part does not in any way diminish your ability to admire
and respect Betty. She chose you. Please do not belittle her choice. You
lived up to her every expectation and possibly more, regardless what you may
think or say.

Annie

Beautiful!

Joyce

Thanks for these posts Tak. It was nice for me too to remember the
beginning of your relationship with Betty. I'm glad that it brings you some
comfort as well.

Susan M
Otis and Chester

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
I'd like to repost some posts from and about when Betty was first
adopted. I've thought so much about Betty's end that I feel that I
need to revisit the beginning too.

I'll never have any more new experiences with Betty. These memories
are all I have left. So this is me being selfish, about my need to
work backwards to reintegrate and recover what I lost.

I've sometimes doubted that there could be any recovery from losing a
kitty. Betty's ashes weren't going to reconstitute themselves into
the purry companion I knew. Day after day, it was the same. There
was no progress, no change, no process for healing.

But when the time came that I could recall the beginning on its own as
the joyful time it was, I found I could cut my pain in half. Because
half my thoughts were of Betty's end, and half my thoughts were of
Betty's beginning.

If it is possible to halve the sorrow, maybe someday it will be
possible to halve them again. I'm beginning to think that it is okay
to remember and rejoice in the precious moments Betty and I had
together. This was the way things began for us.