[OT]ish. Kinda rambling, philosophical, bleh

Forty was a hard year for me. Or rather the year leading up to 40 was. I did
a lot of examining my life that year and where I was and what I was doing
and where I wanted to go and figuring out some things that needed to be
figured out. For example, all of a sudden my biological clock turned on when
I was 39 and there I was not married and a medical condition that required
medication that I couldn't come off of that was contradictory to having
babies. I grieved that part for about a year.

In many ways, it was the time I really got my life back together after being
so sick for so long. I made the arrangements to go back to school and got
back in and have really had a confidence I didn't have when I was younger.

I very distinctly remembering turning 40 was not hard, but the year leading
up to it was incredibly difficult because of all the things you are doing -
a lot of introspection. I turn 43 in December and I can honestly say I am
more comfortable with who I am and what I look like than at any other time
in my life.


"Yowie" wrote in message
...
The wheel turns, and I find myself look down the barrel at being 40. Those
of you who have long past this significant milestone will no doubt throw
back your heads and laugh 'why, young lady, you are just a pup, a
whelping, a mere whipper snapper", but actually, I am into the second
phase of womanhood - the mother - and I have no clue as to what the young
kids (well, they're 18-20) are talking about at work anymore. And more the
the point, I no longer care that I don't have a clue what they are talking
about.

Being this close to forty also means that most of my friends are within
a few years of forty, either way. Most have been married or at least
long-term-committed-relationship for a good 10 years or so, most have kids
(and if not kids, then furkids), and a mortgage.

But what 10 years of marriage (or close enough) seems to bring is also The
Split. This year, I've watched three couples in our once close social
circle split. The social circle is dividing up as to who is friends with
who as the splits have not been particularly amicable, and it seems
impossible to remain friends with both and still have the same BBQ's,
outings, parties and all the other fun stuff we used to do when we were -
well - kids (not even going to start on how easy it is to get a hangover
these days).

This I guess is life. Perhaps its better that people divorce now rather
than live in a poisonous relationship. I don't know. I was considering
divorce myself not that long ago, until the DH finally got onto the sanity
keeping meds he (and I) so desperately need him to take.

The kids are growing up, and 'big school' is looming. We've already been
warned that *none* of the subjects are taught the same way we were taught,
math in particular has a whole different way of doing anything more
complicated than times tables.

Life jsut seems to be wooshing by, and I am just sitting - virtually
chained by circusmtance - here at my desk (at work), under a whole pile of
paperwork that means nothing to no-one except those higher up the chain
who get paid more than me to shuffle the same bits of paper that I give
them once I've finsihed my shuffle. I can't get up any enthusiasm for
this. Having been booted out of a quiet, private office with a view of a
garden and the ocean where I could just shut the door and a have a few
quiet privat emoments when Ineeded to a shared office that is incredibly
noisey, has no privacy at all and has a view of a brick wall (and where no
plant seems to be able to survive) I feel stagnant, suffocating, drowning.

I don't know whether the looming brithday next year is the cause, the news
of the 3rd set of friends busting up, or just the pile of dreary souless
work on my desk, the general economic gloom everyone has, or its jsut
getting around to That Time of Year again, but today, I am finding myself
feeling old and world weary.

Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the
Real world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I seem
to be missing.

Yowie
--
"because its more fun to be evil" - Jarppi, _The Dudesons_

Bridget wrote:
Forty was a hard year for me. Or rather the year leading up to 40 was. I
did a lot of examining my life that year and where I was and what I was
doing and where I wanted to go and figuring out some things that needed
to be figured out. For example, all of a sudden my biological clock
turned on when I was 39 and there I was not married and a medical
condition that required medication that I couldn't come off of that was
contradictory to having babies. I grieved that part for about a year.

In many ways, it was the time I really got my life back together after
being so sick for so long. I made the arrangements to go back to school
and got back in and have really had a confidence I didn't have when I
was younger.

I very distinctly remembering turning 40 was not hard, but the year
leading up to it was incredibly difficult because of all the things you
are doing - a lot of introspection. I turn 43 in December and I can
honestly say I am more comfortable with who I am and what I look like
than at any other time in my life.

With me, it's always been about what's going on in my life and my head
rather than a specific age. There have been times when I have to work on
accepting some disappointments and losses, including the knowledge that
I have less and less time left! But for some reason I don't tie those
period to my age when I think about my age (or sorrows).

Right now, things are going well, knock on wood, except for the usual
run-up to Christmas which I often find hard. I'll be fine when Christmas
comes. And I've come to terms with a lot. I mostly feel very happy with
my life, even if it isn't what I once dreamed of.

Cheryl

On 24 Nov 2008 02:03:05 GMT, wrote:

Hey, while we're on this subject - and this question is really only for
the USA'ers here - have any of you other over-50s joined AARP? I must
get stuff in the mail from them every month or so. They're always sending
me my "membership card", even though I haven't signed up. Just wondering
if it's worth it.

I've never joined, but have also received their mailings for years. I
think I started to get mail from them almost as soon as I retired from
the Army on my 39th birthday. I'm not sure where they get their
address database, but I swear they've always seem to get my new
address almost as fast as the post office.


BTW - in California, the much-touted healthcare benefits available from
AARP are *not* valid. The state of CA (or, rather, the insurance lobby
in this state) made sure they would not be able to sell their insurance
here. I was really disappointed about that back in 2004, when I had no
insurance. It was the only benefit offered by AARP that I was truly
interested in.

I know they also offer discounts for travel and stuff like that, but
I don't do the 4-star hotel thing when I travel. I don't rent high-end
cars. So I don't give a damn about discounts for those things. I want
discounts for things that mean something to me.

Any opinions?
--
Steve Touchstone
Little Bit, Sammy, Spotty, Princess, Furby
and Rocky (RB)
Pix at http://tinyurl.com/22pfn8
Vids at http://tinyurl.com/4yb6nj

I'm happier now at 43 than I was before I turned 40. I hope it will be
the same for you, Vicky.
Best wishes and hugs,
Polonca and Soncek


tanadashoes wrote:
I'm top posting as I don't want to cut into what is one of the best
descriptions of what it was like when I turned 40 mumble mumble years ago.

Positive things about turning 40:

1. You no longer have to please everyone.
2. Most of your friends are in the same shape as you.
3. You've impressed everyone you're going to in your age group and you are
now a mentor to the younger set.
4. No one expects you to be a Barbie doll any more.
5. You can release your inner Maxine.
6. You can ignore all the crappy advice you'll get from all the others who
have been there and done that.

Pam S. BTDT


"Yowie" wrote in message
...
The wheel turns, and I find myself look down the barrel at being 40. Those
of you who have long past this significant milestone will no doubt throw
back your heads and laugh 'why, young lady, you are just a pup, a
whelping, a mere whipper snapper", but actually, I am into the second
phase of womanhood - the mother - and I have no clue as to what the young
kids (well, they're 18-20) are talking about at work anymore. And more the
the point, I no longer care that I don't have a clue what they are talking
about.
snip
Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the
Real world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I seem
to be missing.

Yowie
--
"because its more fun to be evil" - Jarppi, _The Dudesons_