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#1
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
Wife and I have been together for about 10 years (married and living
together for 4). She's had her cat since he was a kitten...he's 18 years old now. He's going downhill...he has tumors in his chest and spots on his liver. Over the past 4 months or so he started throwing up alot and losing alot of weight. Over the past 3 weeks, his abdomen is filling up with fluids and he's pretty bloated. Over this time we've been to the vet numerous times (and a vet hospital in the city besides our local vet). All said that it's probably cancer and that's why the abdomen is filling with fluids. We don't want to put him through more tests due to his age (and the vets agreed)....we've had his abdomen drained a few times but it doesn't really seem to help much since they can't get too much out without sedating him. He is still eating and drinking, but sleeps all day and doesn't seem interested in much...can't really move around with his bloated belly. The problem is...I think it's time to put him down....my wife doesn't. She wants to keep trying to have him drained and is waiting for that definitive sign that it's time. She says that since he's still interested in eating and purrs once in a while (it's actually rare anymore) that he's not ready. What do you think? And if you agree with me...how would you convince your spouse without causing resentment ? She's had the cat since he was a kitten so in my mind, it's her that needs to make that final decision...but I don't want the cat to suffer waiting for it. |
#2
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
On Aug 1, 12:53*pm, The Other Mike wrote:
Wife and I have been together for about 10 years (married and living together for 4). *She's had her cat since he was a kitten...he's 18 years old now. *He's going downhill...he has tumors in his chest and spots on his liver. *Over the past 4 months or so he started throwing up alot and losing alot of weight. *Over the past 3 weeks, his abdomen is filling up with fluids and he's pretty bloated. * Over this time we've been to the vet numerous times (and a vet hospital in the city besides our local vet). *All said that it's probably cancer and that's why the abdomen is filling with fluids. *We don't want to put him through more tests due to his age (and the vets agreed)....we've had his abdomen drained a few times but it doesn't really seem to help much since they can't get too much out without sedating him. *He is still eating and drinking, but sleeps all day and doesn't seem interested in much...can't really move around with his bloated belly. The problem is...I think it's time to put him down....my wife doesn't. She wants to keep trying to have him drained and is waiting for that definitive sign that it's time. * She says that since he's still interested in eating and purrs once in a while (it's actually rare anymore) that he's not ready. *What do you think? *And if you agree with me...how would you convince your spouse without causing resentment ? * She's had the cat since he was a kitten so in my mind, it's her that needs to make that final decision...but I don't want the cat to suffer waiting for it. Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through....and your wife & kitty. I've had my cat prior to my marriage as well. My cat is now almost 15. I can only imagine how much your wife loves her cat. It's really hard. I would imagine every situation is different as to when we let our beloved pets go. Has the vet discussed the situation with her? Perhaps explained to her what the cat is feeling right now....pain, etc.?? Sometimes we need to hear the vet tell us the scientific truth. Then, perhaps she will put two and two together. Everyone does this in their own time. A great book in helping with a pet's passing is a children's book called "Cat Heaven". There's one for dogs too (Dog Heaven). I give this book to my adult friends whose pets have passed. It's very comforting. |
#3
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
The Other Mike wrote in
news Wife and I have been together for about 10 years (married and living together for 4). She's had her cat since he was a kitten...he's 18 years old now. He's going downhill...he has tumors in his chest and spots on his liver. Over the past 4 months or so he started throwing up alot and losing alot of weight. Over the past 3 weeks, his abdomen is filling up with fluids and he's pretty bloated. Over this time we've been to the vet numerous times (and a vet hospital in the city besides our local vet). All said that it's probably cancer and that's why the abdomen is filling with fluids. We don't want to put him through more tests due to his age (and the vets agreed)....we've had his abdomen drained a few times but it doesn't really seem to help much since they can't get too much out without sedating him. He is still eating and drinking, but sleeps all day and doesn't seem interested in much...can't really move around with his bloated belly. The problem is...I think it's time to put him down....my wife doesn't. She wants to keep trying to have him drained and is waiting for that definitive sign that it's time. She says that since he's still interested in eating and purrs once in a while (it's actually rare anymore) that he's not ready. What do you think? And if you agree with me...how would you convince your spouse without causing resentment ? She's had the cat since he was a kitten so in my mind, it's her that needs to make that final decision...but I don't want the cat to suffer waiting for it. I think she needs to hear it from the vet. If it's really time, the vet should make it quite clear to both of you together. Make sure he's specific and not vague, so there's no doubt in her mind. Sometimes we hear only what we want to hear, especially at such a difficult time. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Bobble |
#4
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
I think she needs to hear it from the vet. *If it's really time, the vet should make it quite clear to both of you together. Make sure he's specific and not vague, so there's no doubt in her mind. *Sometimes we hear only what we want to hear, especially at such a difficult time. * I'm sorry you have to go through this. I agree with Bobbie and LauraM. Ask the vet for an honest opinion. Sometimes, the owners are too close to the situation to make a decision, and this is probably the case with your wife. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Best wishes to you both. |
#5
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
"The Other Mike" wrote in message news Wife and I have been together for about 10 years (married and living together for 4). She's had her cat since he was a kitten...he's 18 years old now. He's going downhill...he has tumors in his chest and spots on his liver. Over the past 4 months or so he started throwing up alot and losing alot of weight. Over the past 3 weeks, his abdomen is filling up with fluids and he's pretty bloated. Over this time we've been to the vet numerous times (and a vet hospital in the city besides our local vet). All said that it's probably cancer and that's why the abdomen is filling with fluids. We don't want to put him through more tests due to his age (and the vets agreed)....we've had his abdomen drained a few times but it doesn't really seem to help much since they can't get too much out without sedating him. He is still eating and drinking, but sleeps all day and doesn't seem interested in much...can't really move around with his bloated belly. The problem is...I think it's time to put him down....my wife doesn't. She wants to keep trying to have him drained and is waiting for that definitive sign that it's time. She says that since he's still interested in eating and purrs once in a while (it's actually rare anymore) that he's not ready. What do you think? And if you agree with me...how would you convince your spouse without causing resentment ? She's had the cat since he was a kitten so in my mind, it's her that needs to make that final decision...but I don't want the cat to suffer waiting for it. I strongly suggest having the fluid analyzed before making a life-or-death decision. Fluid analysis should let you know exactly what you're dealing with. He may have a treatable condition. If he doesn't, you'll be able to make your decision without doubts which would otherwise haunt you forever. Your vet already had a fluid sample in his hands- I don't understand why he didn't advise you to have it analyzed. That's poor practice. I'd dump him if I were you- before its too late. Best of luck, Phil |
#6
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
On Aug 1, 5:20*pm, "Phil P." wrote:
"The Other Mike" wrote in messagenewsmp694p5ifm35e37n2hbq4ftoib78dp6d8@4ax .com... Wife and I have been together for about 10 years (married and living together for 4). *She's had her cat since he was a kitten...he's 18 years old now. *He's going downhill...he has tumors in his chest and spots on his liver. *Over the past 4 months or so he started throwing up alot and losing alot of weight. *Over the past 3 weeks, his abdomen is filling up with fluids and he's pretty bloated. * Over this time we've been to the vet numerous times (and a vet hospital in the city besides our local vet). *All said that it's probably cancer and that's why the abdomen is filling with fluids. *We don't want to put him through more tests due to his age (and the vets agreed)....we've had his abdomen drained a few times but it doesn't really seem to help much since they can't get too much out without sedating him. *He is still eating and drinking, but sleeps all day and doesn't seem interested in much...can't really move around with his bloated belly. The problem is...I think it's time to put him down....my wife doesn't. She wants to keep trying to have him drained and is waiting for that definitive sign that it's time. * She says that since he's still interested in eating and purrs once in a while (it's actually rare anymore) that he's not ready. *What do you think? *And if you agree with me...how would you convince your spouse without causing resentment ? * She's had the cat since he was a kitten so in my mind, it's her that needs to make that final decision...but I don't want the cat to suffer waiting for it. I strongly suggest having the fluid analyzed before making a life-or-death decision. *Fluid analysis should let you know exactly what you're dealing with. *He may have a treatable condition. *If he doesn't, you'll be able to make your decision without doubts which would otherwise haunt you forever. Your vet already had a fluid sample in his hands- I don't understand why he didn't advise you to have it analyzed. *That's poor practice. *I'd dump him if I were you- before its too late. Best of luck, Phil- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Phil is always wise in his responses. Your vet doesnt seem to have done all the correct things. In addition you might think about how you would go about having the cat put to sleep. Will a vet come to your house? How will you dispose of the body? Taking the beloved cat to the vets and leaving him there is very hard. |
#7
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
honeybunch wrote:
Phil is always wise in his responses. Your vet doesnt seem to have done all the correct things. In addition you might think about how you would go about having the cat put to sleep. Will a vet come to your house? How will you dispose of the body? Taking the beloved cat to the vets and leaving him there is very hard. Please don't leave him. Years ago I had an elderly German Shepherd/Colllie mix named Sebastian. He had the shape of a Shepherd, but the long black-and-tan coat of a collie. He was big, 125 pounds and six feet tall on his hind legs. In his youth, he was a thing of beauty. He loved to chase a ball and could learn new tricks in a matter of minutes. He knew the sound of my dad's Chrysler and could distinguish it from any other vehicle the minute it turned into my 300-foot driveway. At the age of twelve, old for a dog his size, he weighed less than 60 pounds. His hair had fallen out and his skin was ravaged with intractable infections and open sores. He had lost control of his bowels and bladder. I reluctantly called the vet and made arrangements to have him euthanized. I led him to the door of the vet's office, handed his leash to the vet, and walked away with tears in my eyes. I will never forgive myself for that. I owed it to him that he not spend his final moments in the hands of strangers, and I failed him. Since then (three times) when euthanasia was necessary it was done with my friend in my arms. Each time has been hard, but I've never regretted any of them. |
#8
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
On Aug 1, 3:29*pm, Richard Evans wrote:
honeybunch wrote: Phil is always wise in his responses. *Your vet doesnt seem to have done all the correct things. *In addition you might think about how you would go about having the cat put to sleep. *Will a vet come to your house? *How will you dispose of the body? *Taking the beloved cat to the vets and leaving him there is very hard. Please don't leave him. Years ago I had an elderly German Shepherd/Colllie mix named Sebastian. He had the shape of a Shepherd, but the long black-and-tan coat of a collie. He was big, 125 pounds and six feet tall on his hind legs. In his youth, he was a thing of beauty. He loved to chase a ball and could learn new tricks in a matter of minutes. He knew the sound of my dad's Chrysler and could distinguish it from any other vehicle the minute it turned into my 300-foot driveway. At the age of twelve, old for a dog his size, he weighed less than 60 pounds. His hair had fallen out and his skin was ravaged with intractable infections and open sores. He had lost control of his bowels and bladder. I reluctantly called the vet and made arrangements to have him euthanized. I led him to the door of the vet's office, handed his leash to the vet, and walked away with tears in my eyes. I will never forgive myself for that. I owed it to him that he not spend his final moments in the hands of strangers, and I failed him. Since then (three times) when euthanasia was necessary it was done with my friend in my arms. Each time has been hard, but I've never regretted any of them. I couldn't agree more about being there with your companion. I've had a few cats over my lifetime and I learned to be there as the vet transitions my furry friend to the other side. It's hard, but it's worth it to be there. Life isn't always easy. I feel very strongly that death is not the end but a new beginning. To hold onto a pet in this life, to their detriment, is -- I hate to say it -- kind of selfish. (I'm not saying you did this or are doing this!!! I had to put that statement in here because I didn't want you to think I was talking about you. I'm just talking in general.) |
#9
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
On Fri, 1 Aug 2008 14:53:11 -0700 (PDT), honeybunch
wrote: Will a vet come to your house? How will you dispose of the body? Taking the beloved cat to the vets and leaving him there is very hard. No, our vets won't do home euthanasia. We have a tranquilizer the vet gave us that we'll give him before we bring him in. Don't worry...no way would I just leave him there...we went through this 2 years ago with my 17 year old cat and were with him the entire time. It's hard for us, but as far as we're concerned, there's no other option but to be there. As far as Phil's suggestion, I will ask him about it...it was never mentioned to have it analyzed....3 different vets all told us it was the result of his cancer (some elevated blood levels pointed towards cancer...not sure what they were...plus multiple xrays and an ultrasound showing the abnormalities on his lungs and liver). The vet is supposed to call tonight...I'll ask him about getting the fluid analyzed. Thanks for the advice. |
#10
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Euthanasia - not sure what to do.
"Richard Evans" wrote in message
... honeybunch wrote: Phil is always wise in his responses. Your vet doesnt seem to have done all the correct things. In addition you might think about how you would go about having the cat put to sleep. Will a vet come to your house? How will you dispose of the body? Taking the beloved cat to the vets and leaving him there is very hard. Please don't leave him. Years ago I had an elderly German Shepherd/Colllie mix named Sebastian. He had the shape of a Shepherd, but the long black-and-tan coat of a collie. He was big, 125 pounds and six feet tall on his hind legs. In his youth, he was a thing of beauty. He loved to chase a ball and could learn new tricks in a matter of minutes. He knew the sound of my dad's Chrysler and could distinguish it from any other vehicle the minute it turned into my 300-foot driveway. At the age of twelve, old for a dog his size, he weighed less than 60 pounds. His hair had fallen out and his skin was ravaged with intractable infections and open sores. He had lost control of his bowels and bladder. I reluctantly called the vet and made arrangements to have him euthanized. I led him to the door of the vet's office, handed his leash to the vet, and walked away with tears in my eyes. I will never forgive myself for that. I owed it to him that he not spend his final moments in the hands of strangers, and I failed him. Since then (three times) when euthanasia was necessary it was done with my friend in my arms. Each time has been hard, but I've never regretted any of them. I agree. There are lots of vets that will come to your home to do it. When my Bandit was ready to cross the Bridge my vet came to my home - it was only $80 and I would have paid five times that amount to have her lie in her favorite spot (my bed) with me holding her while she went to sleep for the last time. Hugs, CatNipped |
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