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Izz 9
Bitter sweet sorta ‘cos I iz 9 and my sisfur Dunzi is 8 an’ will
always be 8 ‘coz she’s over the Bridge…weird to fink that 9 years ago there woz 5 of us inna a shed in Feltham 3 sisfurs an’ 2 brofurs… dunno wot happened to my brofurs- they woz taken from first meowmie when we woz still wiv her- they gotta new gaff an’ I hope it worked as well as this one has for me. My other sisfur stayed wiv first meowmie but sumthing called “accident” happened when she woz only small an’ she went over the Bridge then…woz just me an’ Dunzi an’ now izz only me….. An’ The Gannet I admit woz sad when Dunzi left…she used to spout on about “Cosmic Harmony” etc but….she was my sisfur after all an’ Hoomins did their best to cheer me up but they’z no good ‘bout lickin’ behind my ears an’ don’t sniff my bum the same way..actually they’se never sniffed it so I waz so low….Then one day meowmie took the nasty box away an came back wiv..a kitten! All for me to luv! She tells me for my purrday she wanna embroider me a reti…sumthing… “A reticule dearest Mamma!” Oh Gawd- ‘ere she izz- what is a reticule? “Why dearest Mamma it is a delicate pouch for you to keep your spectacles in!” “Huh? I don’t wear spectacles” “And dearest mamma I also have to apologise for the fact my embroidery skills are somewhat remiss due to a lack of an opposable thumb and the failure of meowmie and paw to purchase appropriate embroidery silks for me to produce a suitable gift to honour this most felicitous occasion” “GAWD! My sisfur used to go on ‘bout Cosmic Harmony etc an’ now I got a sorta daughter wot can use words like “felicitous” if I woz a Hoomin I think I’d head for the pub but….Meowmie got me a mousie onna stick an’ also gotta fether onna stick with Da Nip..now I never been one for that but this be first time Bonnie The Gannet sniffin’ it” “OH DEAR! Are you perchance suggesting I may be introduced to substances of an intoxicating nature?” “You might like it…loosen your fur, let your whiskers down!” “HELP! I may be black and white slaved!” See wot I gotta put up wiv? Happy purrday to Me..missin’ you Dunzi my sisfur Sarrasine |
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