ugh, this kitty wants to knife me?

my girlfriend's cat cannot stand me. he pees on my pillow whenever i
visit and jumps on me at 5 a.m. while i'm sleeping. believe me, i'm
trying everything to be this cat's best friend: i buy him toys and try
to play with him, feed him, pet him etc.

if anyone has ever had to deal with this kind of love triangle, can
you tell me what you did to improve things?

thanks in advance.

wrote in message
...

my girlfriend's cat cannot stand me. he pees on my pillow whenever i
visit and jumps on me at 5 a.m. while i'm sleeping. believe me, i'm
trying everything to be this cat's best friend: i buy him toys and try
to play with him, feed him, pet him etc.

if anyone has ever had to deal with this kind of love triangle, can
you tell me what you did to improve things?

thanks in advance.

Hi, first I must commend you for trying to work with this kitty rather than
antagonize him and make things worse!

So, explain in more detail what you do when you interact with this cat and
what his reactions are; it sounds like you're doing a lot of good stuff,
especially in playing with him and giving him positive attention. Do he
seem to enjoy playing (what kind of playing -- a string, feather wand, laser
pointer ...?) One thing I'd suggest is that kitties are definitely
creatures of habit and if you establish a play/feeding/treat routine with
him on a daily basis I can't help but think you'll make progress with him.

The waking up at 5 a.m. part I don't know if this is something directed
just at you as my 4 cats all conspire to wake me up at 5 a.m., too. What do
you do when he does this? In my household they know they're about to get fed
soon and that precipitates a lot of this (also how do you tell a cat that
daylight savings time has ended?).

A question about the pillow that gets peed on -- do you get brand new
pillows every time or do you try to wash out the old one? You can try
washing them with an enzymatic pet odor cleaner like Nature's Miracle or
Petzyme for Cats (both you can get from Petsmart) but in the end you may
want to check out putting a new pillow out and maybe covering it and the
area of the bed you're sleeping on with aluminum foil - some cats don't like
the sound or feel of foil... When I took a new cat into my household years
ago, one of mine protested by peeing on my pillow nightly, too -- I had a
pillow graveyard on my patio by the time I got things sorted out; I used the
foil and kind of burned out on Nature's Miracle at the time, too. But
things got better over time and later on the 2 cats became friends, more or
less. Could there be some cat pee residual that ended up on the mattress
(hopefully not, but if so, it might explain the re-marking of the area) --
another thing I did at the time was buy a waterproof crib sheet that I put
over the mattress for awhile.

Do you have any pets of your own whose scent might be on you/your clothes?

I can also give you the email address of a cat rescue acquaintance of mine
who has a lot of experience with cat behavior issues; I'll email you this
separately.

hope this might help,
don't give up...
regards,
Christine

On Mon, 26 Nov 2007 18:14:51 -0700, Christine Burel wrote:

A question about the pillow that gets peed on -- do you get brand new
pillows every time or do you try to wash out the old one?

I just wash the water-proof pillow protector. They and waterproof
mattress pads are available in breathable treated fabric and plastic sheet
types. Personally, I don't like the plastic film type, but they are much
cheaper.

I couldn't live with cats without both.

--

T.E.D. ) UMR becomes MST soon.

wrote in message
...

my girlfriend's cat cannot stand me. he pees on my pillow whenever i
visit and jumps on me at 5 a.m. while i'm sleeping. believe me, i'm
trying everything to be this cat's best friend: i buy him toys and try
to play with him, feed him, pet him etc.

if anyone has ever had to deal with this kind of love triangle, can
you tell me what you did to improve things?

thanks in advance.

We never had a problem as I've only once met a dog or cat that didn't adore
Charlie. (Where cats are concerned there will always be at least one
exception to everything)

For starters you need to look at your attitude. Ugh and knife are agressive
words.

Then I'd recommend you stop trying. It may make points with your girlfriend
but it won't make any points with most cats. Let him come to you. And
don't worry about being his best friend. It will be his choice.

The 5am thing BTW is just normal cat behavior. You may learn to sleep
though it. Or not.

Jo

wrote:

my girlfriend's cat cannot stand me. he pees on my pillow whenever i
visit and jumps on me at 5 a.m. while i'm sleeping. believe me, i'm
trying everything to be this cat's best friend: i buy him toys and try
to play with him, feed him, pet him etc.

if anyone has ever had to deal with this kind of love triangle, can
you tell me what you did to improve things?

Cat's are pretty good judges of character, usually. If her
cat doesn't approve of yours, maybe you should simply change
girlfriends?

thanks in advance.

thanks very much, folks, for all the great help.

let me try to begin to answer some questions. i play with him with a
laser pointer and a feather toy that he digs but i don't remember the
name of it. yeah, i like cats, though maybe he senses i've only owned
dogs. still, even if he judges me to be a shady character, he seems to
put it aside when i have the laser pointer or some other toys.

i haven't asked my girlfriend how she'd feel about shutting the cat
out, but i'm not sure i want to at this point since it sounds like it
might only make matters worse between us (me and the kitty). i'd kind
of like to coexist peacefully. but she seems to think things will
improve, particularly if i were a more regular member of the
household. but we seem to take a step back before taking any step
forward. as far as cleaning the pillow, we just through it in the
wash. it didn't seem like he missed the pillow (gosh, i hope he
didn't). but he's peed only on my pillow and he's jumped only on me.

the thing is, i could swear it's almost a man-of-the-household thing,
even though that might sound goofy. he's a beautiful black cat and he
likes to hunt. he brings back field mice and leaves on in the dogs bag
of dog food while leaving another in my girlfriend's backpack. it's
almost like he's the provider and he's packing lunches for them. so i
can't help but feel like we have a little love triangle going on here
even though i'm happy to cede the head-of-household title to him or
anyone else there who's a permanent resident. am i reading too much
into this?

thanks very much, everyone, for your help and suggestions. appreciate
it.

wrote:

he likes to hunt. he brings back field mice and leaves on in the dogs
bag of dog food while leaving another in my girlfriend's backpack. it's
almost like he's the provider and he's packing lunches for them.

LOL!

so i
can't help but feel like we have a little love triangle going on here

Well, that's kind of what I was thinking. He might be territorial
about your girlfriend, or jealous of the attention she gives you.

am i reading too much into this?

Well, he pees on your pillow. I don't think you can read too much into
that, unfortunately.

Hope you all figure out how to have peaceful coexistence!

Joyce

wrote in message
...


thanks very much, folks, for all the great help.

let me try to begin to answer some questions. i play with him with a
laser pointer and a feather toy that he digs but i don't remember the
name of it. yeah, i like cats, though maybe he senses i've only owned
dogs. still, even if he judges me to be a shady character, he seems to
put it aside when i have the laser pointer or some other toys.

i haven't asked my girlfriend how she'd feel about shutting the cat
out, but i'm not sure i want to at this point since it sounds like it
might only make matters worse between us (me and the kitty). i'd kind
of like to coexist peacefully. but she seems to think things will
improve, particularly if i were a more regular member of the
household. but we seem to take a step back before taking any step
forward. as far as cleaning the pillow, we just through it in the
wash. it didn't seem like he missed the pillow (gosh, i hope he
didn't). but he's peed only on my pillow and he's jumped only on me.

the thing is, i could swear it's almost a man-of-the-household thing,
even though that might sound goofy. he's a beautiful black cat and he
likes to hunt. he brings back field mice and leaves on in the dogs bag
of dog food while leaving another in my girlfriend's backpack. it's
almost like he's the provider and he's packing lunches for them. so i
can't help but feel like we have a little love triangle going on here
even though i'm happy to cede the head-of-household title to him or
anyone else there who's a permanent resident. am i reading too much
into this?

thanks very much, everyone, for your help and suggestions. appreciate
it.

Yes, you are right, you are in a love triangle. In the cat's eyes, he's the
dominant male. His territory has been invaded, and the invader is messing
with his property (your girlfriend).

With any male ****ing contest (and I assure, this is what it is), you have
two choices, you can either choose to fight to be the dominant male, or you
can submit and be the beta male of the house.

May I humbly suggest that it is probably easier (and involves less cat
urine) for you to submit to your furry rival than to stage all out war. Cats
are exceedingly cunning, and not only will he **** on your pillow, he may
well **** or barf in your shoes.

Smell is a major factor for cats. The first thing you need to do is smell
more like his him (ie, he has is scent on you, therefore he owns you). Keep
some of your clothes at your GF's house. Launder them in whatever it is that
she uses to launder her stuff, and hten leave them there. When you go over
to your GF's, shower, and change into the clothes that have been left there.
You now smell more like the cat and the cat's regular territory.

Get a couple of socks (or a thick leather glove) on your hand and
rough-house (gently) with the cat. Let him kill your hand over and over (ie,
hegets a good grip around hte 'neck' and holds the hand down in the
submissive position. Once he's got you down, stay down till *he* stops the
fight, not you)

Pet the cat frequently, particularly around the scent glands (ie,the
cheeks). Rub this smell all over you.

Don't 'mess' with the girlfriend if the cat is sitting on her. Thats taking
away his property. If she wants to mess around, she's the one who has to get
the cat off her lap and then go do somethng else before coming over to you,
so the cat doesn't think he's being turfed off the lap for you (although he
is, of course).

Croon and otherwise talk to the cat in a higher voice than your usual voice.
Cats for some reason like higher pitched sounds, if you've ever heard a
tomcat yowl for a mate, you'll understand why. A higher pitched voice is
less of a territorial threat.

And mot of all, both you and your girlfriend should interact with the cat
*at the same time*. The cat has to feel included and welcome, and not being
'pushed out' of you girlfriend's life, by you, the intruder. Go over t the
GF's hosue whlst she's not there and love on the kitty. Three tricks: the
slow blink ( blink veeery slowly at the cat), the yawn (after several slow
blinks, give him a gigantic big yawn or two) and if he allows you to, get on
the floor and try and allow the cat to touch you on the nose. Thats the
'cat' way of saying 'hello, friend' and then you should be ok. Be submissive
,quiet, high pitched, and slow-moving around the catl - use lots of "sss"
sounds like "puss puss" . Oh, and don't stomp around, walk lightly. Cats
hate stompers, and most men stomp in my observation. (I don't know why, but
I know cats find it threatening)

Oh, and feed the cat. Only you feed the cat whilst you are there, not the
GF. A cat's affections can be bribed :-)

Good luck,

Yowie

On Nov 27, 12:03 am, wrote:
thanks very much, folks, for all the great help.

let me try to begin to answer some questions. i play with him with a
laser pointer and a feather toy that he digs but i don't remember the
name of it. yeah, i like cats, though maybe he senses i've only owned
dogs. still, even if he judges me to be a shady character, he seems to
put it aside when i have the laser pointer or some other toys.

i haven't asked my girlfriend how she'd feel about shutting the cat
out, but i'm not sure i want to at this point since it sounds like it
might only make matters worse between us (me and the kitty). i'd kind
of like to coexist peacefully. but she seems to think things will
improve, particularly if i were a more regular member of the
household. but we seem to take a step back before taking any step
forward. as far as cleaning the pillow, we just through it in the
wash. it didn't seem like he missed the pillow (gosh, i hope he
didn't). but he's peed only on my pillow and he's jumped only on me.

the thing is, i could swear it's almost a man-of-the-household thing,
even though that might sound goofy. he's a beautiful black cat and he
likes to hunt. he brings back field mice and leaves on in the dogs bag
of dog food while leaving another in my girlfriend's backpack. it's
almost like he's the provider and he's packing lunches for them. so i
can't help but feel like we have a little love triangle going on here
even though i'm happy to cede the head-of-household title to him or
anyone else there who's a permanent resident. am i reading too much
into this?

thanks very much, everyone, for your help and suggestions. appreciate
it.

Sacrifices have to be made in a relationship. The cat is not going
anywhere that is a fact but close the door to the bedroom. It will
save a lot of hassle and sleep loss. Hopefully she will understand.
I did when my better half asked me to

Jack and Jill


Jill being the poster Jack being what is supposed to be a cat