If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Dorrie (And Old Cats)
I debated whether to post a follow-up to a post I made yesterday.
Enough people were kind to email me privately, and that convinced me to post one final time with the caveat that I won't read group responses to this one either (yesterday's, by "It's a Wonderful Life22," was a positive health threat to someone with conditions I, now, certainly won't identify here). If not for rec.pets.cats.health+behav, I wouldn't have learned about the why's and wherefore's of growing cat grass. I wouldn't have had the support by other cat owners throughout the very difficult past year. But I'm sick wondering about the awful things that were said about me in follow-ups, as someone who emailed me privately averted to. Why have members of this group who are routinely kind, responsible, and humane allowed this woman (because in my gut I am certain the various email addresses can all be traced to the same vicious soul) to continue to wound innocent men and women who find their way here seeking help for their cats? As I've said in private posts, humans are animals too, and unless you are endowed with money from an endless trust fund, advising veterinary care every time someone posts with a problem--while often wise, commonsensical, and realistic--is just not do-able for a great many of us human animals. What happens when the vet tells you your animal is in need of care you UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can afford? What then? Twenty years ago, I used to keep parakeets. I allowed them to be free-flying, just as I allow Dorrie to prowl at night. I do not try to make humans out of animals, even though I know they'd like to make animals out of us! I always took my parakeets to vets, only to be told that all--ALL--the problems I sought help with would require boarding, surgeries, and aftercare that as a grad student I was in no way able to afford. In all cases, I opted for euthanasia. So: What is more honorable, to take in an unwanted and unloved animal headed for neglect, suffering, starvation, or--if she's lucky--the pound; and to give her the best care you possibly can, or to let that stray walk on by and say "Sorry, can't help you. Can't afford vets. Can't afford blood tests. Can't afford vet dentists?" I'm aware that other former posters here have responded similarly. A little passive-aggression goes a long way. When cats or humans age, we develop all kinds of nasty health problems. I volunteer at nursing homes where all kinds of nasty odors and sights and events occur. I and the staff know that there is no sense shuffling the aged patient off to a hospital or calling his or her doctor, because age brings with it undesirable conditions that cannot be cured. Ever see beards on old women? Ever change the diaper of a wheelchair bound man who's just eaten beans and garlic? It's not pretty, but you do what you can to help, and you smile. Cats get old too. I do not believe Dorrie will leap like Jack LaLanne into her grave. As a vegetarian, I believe that the outdoors and greens may prolong her life, but they certainly won't keep her from developping all the aesthetically offensive smells and sounds and appearances OLD CATS develop. SimonBarSinister just posted about finding and rescuing Rusty and giving him the best year of his life, and God bless him for it. But I think Rusty would also have had the best year of his life if someone just took that poor soul into a warm kitchen and fed him Nine Lives. Let me make one thing clear, and then I'm signing off forever as far as public posts are concerned. Don't any of you ever delude yourselves into thinking that Love-without-Money is not Love. If you do, you are worse than hypocrites. You're a sadist who has too much time on her hands--to torment, not support, other cat lovers. Let me repeat the word, because I've witnessed it in action far too often, by the same one or two posters--or, should I say, by the same poster with several personalities. This group is not rec.pets.cats.judgment+sadism. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
"Cowa Bungie" wrote in message m... I debated whether to post a follow-up to a post I made yesterday. Enough people were kind to email me privately, and that convinced me to post one final time with the caveat that I won't read group responses to this one either (yesterday's, by "It's a Wonderful Life22," was a positive health threat to someone with conditions I, now, certainly won't identify here). Does this make you feel better? It seems to. If not for rec.pets.cats.health+behav, I wouldn't have learned about the why's and wherefore's of growing cat grass. I wouldn't have had the support by other cat owners throughout the very difficult past year. But I'm sick wondering about the awful things that were said about me in follow-ups, as someone who emailed me privately averted to. Then you are far too fragile for Usenet, and possibly for this world. When you show vulnerability, when you show emotion, when you display your helplessness (poverty, despair, pessimism) to any given population, some will comfort you, some will dismiss you as weak and/or "disturbed" and others will interpret it as a sign of weakness that signals them to take you down a few MORE notches. Basic human nature, and partly why I tend to prefer animals to humans. Why have members of this group who are routinely kind, responsible, and humane allowed this woman (because in my gut I am certain the various email addresses can all be traced to the same vicious soul) to continue to wound innocent men and women who find their way here seeking help for their cats? Because this is a free and uncensored forum. Even though the feds are indeed monitoring Usenet for "terrorist activity," however that is defined today. If you can dish it out but you can't take it, you are probably right to hand in your spoon. Slugging it out with the assholes of the world is infinitely better than trying to mold a free and open forum to your personal specifications. Your "kinder gentler" rpch+b, just like Kelly H's and others, is just a censor's dream. I don't like censorship. I like the free and open exchange of ideas. Too rough for you? Exercise your freedom and bow out. But you will not silence others. Actually, you may silence others--the fearful, the cowards, the people who lack the cohones to be straightforward and would rather snipe at others in private emails where they can preach to the choir and be as nasty as they want without ever having to take responsibility for their words. What you won't do is silence me. That you want to silence anyone, rather than finding a gd backbone and either standing up for yourself or just ignoring the posters you don't like relegates you to the realm of the petty cowards who are running this world today in my book. You're not mentally ill, that's for sure. Your heart is in the right place, but you lack backbone. As I've said in private posts, humans are animals too, and unless you are endowed with money from an endless trust fund, advising veterinary care every time someone posts with a problem--while often wise, commonsensical, and realistic--is just not do-able for a great many of us human animals. What happens when the vet tells you your animal is in need of care you UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can afford? What then? People like you, who give up so easily, opt for euthanasia. I have the disturbing feeling that you don't go too far out of your way to find help for these creatures who are such a comfort to you. You found the money to buy a computer last year, after all. There are resources for people who want to help animals. Ever try calling every damned vet in the book to ask if they will donate help? I don't think you have. And why not? [...] So: What is more honorable, to take in an unwanted and unloved animal headed for neglect, suffering, starvation, or--if she's lucky--the pound; and to give her the best care you possibly can, or to let that stray walk on by and say "Sorry, can't help you. It is not an "either/or proposition." Not as long as there are people who are willing to help--not only vets but shelters where people donate time and money to help animals in need. What bothers me about you is that you are just too eager to throw your hands up and simply let Dorrie suffer. Is this part of the drama of being tragic? Or what? To have this little cat you cannot care for and come here and tell everyone all about how her suffering makes you suffer? The SMELL of her sickness sickens you? Come on, woman. Don't wallow in that bull****. Call a shelter and see what they can recommend. Call some vets. And don't respond immediately with "that won't work." Just TRY. When cats or humans age, we develop all kinds of nasty health problems. I volunteer at nursing homes where all kinds of nasty odors and sights and events occur. I and the staff know that there is no sense shuffling the aged patient off to a hospital or calling his or her doctor, because age brings with it undesirable conditions that cannot be cured. Ever see beards on old women? Ever change the diaper of a wheelchair bound man who's just eaten beans and garlic? It's not pretty, but you do what you can to help, and you smile. And maybe suggest that he not have beans and garlic next time? If there is one thing worse than someone who will not help, that might be someone who will but then has to talk about how gross it was. Doing it to Dorrie, doing it to the old people. Why? Cats get old too. I do not believe Dorrie will leap like Jack LaLanne into her grave. As a vegetarian, I believe that the outdoors and greens may prolong her life, but they certainly won't keep her from developping all the aesthetically offensive smells and sounds and appearances OLD CATS develop. You're focusing on the scatalogical way too much. Get out. Open some windows. My old cat smelled sweet until the day she died. I know some pretty damned sweet smelling old people too. They might have to WORK at it though. Of course, I wouldn't know, because instead of whining about whatever it is they just fix it. See? SimonBarSinister just posted about finding and rescuing Rusty and giving him the best year of his life, and God bless him for it. But I think Rusty would also have had the best year of his life if someone just took that poor soul into a warm kitchen and fed him Nine Lives. If that is the best ANYONE can do, then sure. But you don't know that until you try to get help for the cat. Let me make one thing clear, and then I'm signing off forever as far as public posts are concerned. Don't any of you ever delude yourselves into thinking that Love-without-Money is not Love. Love without money is fine. Love without the sense to make a serious effort find some resources to help those one loves sucks the big one. It amounts to drawing animals into your own misery. You seem to want to wallow in misery. Why? If you do, you are worse than hypocrites. You're a sadist who has too much time on her hands--to torment, not support, other cat lovers. Let me repeat the word, because I've witnessed it in action far too often, by the same one or two posters--or, should I say, by the same poster with several personalities. This group is not rec.pets.cats.judgment+sadism. Sometimes the truth hurts. Nobody has any obligation to limp before the lame or whisper among those too timid to be straightforward. You give up too easily. For you, that might be just fine, but for the creatures in your care, it might as well be a goddamned crime. As long as there is one person in the world who would get Dorrie the medical care she needs AND love her, you are doing her a disservice. I can alreasy see the false dichotomy you will set up: "It's either suffer or be euthanized." But it is NOT. There are too many people who give their resources to help cats NO MATTER WHOSE CAT everyday. Make some calls. Get Dorrie some help. And if all you plan to do here is display your poverty and misery and that of your cat while claiming there is "nothing you can do" about either, I for one will be happier not reading about it. Good luck. |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
"Cowa Bungie" wrote in message m... I debated whether to post a follow-up to a post I made yesterday. Enough people were kind to email me privately, and that convinced me to post one final time with the caveat that I won't read group responses to this one either (yesterday's, by "It's a Wonderful Life22," was a positive health threat to someone with conditions I, now, certainly won't identify here). Does this make you feel better? It seems to. If not for rec.pets.cats.health+behav, I wouldn't have learned about the why's and wherefore's of growing cat grass. I wouldn't have had the support by other cat owners throughout the very difficult past year. But I'm sick wondering about the awful things that were said about me in follow-ups, as someone who emailed me privately averted to. Then you are far too fragile for Usenet, and possibly for this world. When you show vulnerability, when you show emotion, when you display your helplessness (poverty, despair, pessimism) to any given population, some will comfort you, some will dismiss you as weak and/or "disturbed" and others will interpret it as a sign of weakness that signals them to take you down a few MORE notches. Basic human nature, and partly why I tend to prefer animals to humans. Why have members of this group who are routinely kind, responsible, and humane allowed this woman (because in my gut I am certain the various email addresses can all be traced to the same vicious soul) to continue to wound innocent men and women who find their way here seeking help for their cats? Because this is a free and uncensored forum. Even though the feds are indeed monitoring Usenet for "terrorist activity," however that is defined today. If you can dish it out but you can't take it, you are probably right to hand in your spoon. Slugging it out with the assholes of the world is infinitely better than trying to mold a free and open forum to your personal specifications. Your "kinder gentler" rpch+b, just like Kelly H's and others, is just a censor's dream. I don't like censorship. I like the free and open exchange of ideas. Too rough for you? Exercise your freedom and bow out. But you will not silence others. Actually, you may silence others--the fearful, the cowards, the people who lack the cohones to be straightforward and would rather snipe at others in private emails where they can preach to the choir and be as nasty as they want without ever having to take responsibility for their words. What you won't do is silence me. That you want to silence anyone, rather than finding a gd backbone and either standing up for yourself or just ignoring the posters you don't like relegates you to the realm of the petty cowards who are running this world today in my book. You're not mentally ill, that's for sure. Your heart is in the right place, but you lack backbone. As I've said in private posts, humans are animals too, and unless you are endowed with money from an endless trust fund, advising veterinary care every time someone posts with a problem--while often wise, commonsensical, and realistic--is just not do-able for a great many of us human animals. What happens when the vet tells you your animal is in need of care you UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can afford? What then? People like you, who give up so easily, opt for euthanasia. I have the disturbing feeling that you don't go too far out of your way to find help for these creatures who are such a comfort to you. You found the money to buy a computer last year, after all. There are resources for people who want to help animals. Ever try calling every damned vet in the book to ask if they will donate help? I don't think you have. And why not? [...] So: What is more honorable, to take in an unwanted and unloved animal headed for neglect, suffering, starvation, or--if she's lucky--the pound; and to give her the best care you possibly can, or to let that stray walk on by and say "Sorry, can't help you. It is not an "either/or proposition." Not as long as there are people who are willing to help--not only vets but shelters where people donate time and money to help animals in need. What bothers me about you is that you are just too eager to throw your hands up and simply let Dorrie suffer. Is this part of the drama of being tragic? Or what? To have this little cat you cannot care for and come here and tell everyone all about how her suffering makes you suffer? The SMELL of her sickness sickens you? Come on, woman. Don't wallow in that bull****. Call a shelter and see what they can recommend. Call some vets. And don't respond immediately with "that won't work." Just TRY. When cats or humans age, we develop all kinds of nasty health problems. I volunteer at nursing homes where all kinds of nasty odors and sights and events occur. I and the staff know that there is no sense shuffling the aged patient off to a hospital or calling his or her doctor, because age brings with it undesirable conditions that cannot be cured. Ever see beards on old women? Ever change the diaper of a wheelchair bound man who's just eaten beans and garlic? It's not pretty, but you do what you can to help, and you smile. And maybe suggest that he not have beans and garlic next time? If there is one thing worse than someone who will not help, that might be someone who will but then has to talk about how gross it was. Doing it to Dorrie, doing it to the old people. Why? Cats get old too. I do not believe Dorrie will leap like Jack LaLanne into her grave. As a vegetarian, I believe that the outdoors and greens may prolong her life, but they certainly won't keep her from developping all the aesthetically offensive smells and sounds and appearances OLD CATS develop. You're focusing on the scatalogical way too much. Get out. Open some windows. My old cat smelled sweet until the day she died. I know some pretty damned sweet smelling old people too. They might have to WORK at it though. Of course, I wouldn't know, because instead of whining about whatever it is they just fix it. See? SimonBarSinister just posted about finding and rescuing Rusty and giving him the best year of his life, and God bless him for it. But I think Rusty would also have had the best year of his life if someone just took that poor soul into a warm kitchen and fed him Nine Lives. If that is the best ANYONE can do, then sure. But you don't know that until you try to get help for the cat. Let me make one thing clear, and then I'm signing off forever as far as public posts are concerned. Don't any of you ever delude yourselves into thinking that Love-without-Money is not Love. Love without money is fine. Love without the sense to make a serious effort find some resources to help those one loves sucks the big one. It amounts to drawing animals into your own misery. You seem to want to wallow in misery. Why? If you do, you are worse than hypocrites. You're a sadist who has too much time on her hands--to torment, not support, other cat lovers. Let me repeat the word, because I've witnessed it in action far too often, by the same one or two posters--or, should I say, by the same poster with several personalities. This group is not rec.pets.cats.judgment+sadism. Sometimes the truth hurts. Nobody has any obligation to limp before the lame or whisper among those too timid to be straightforward. You give up too easily. For you, that might be just fine, but for the creatures in your care, it might as well be a goddamned crime. As long as there is one person in the world who would get Dorrie the medical care she needs AND love her, you are doing her a disservice. I can alreasy see the false dichotomy you will set up: "It's either suffer or be euthanized." But it is NOT. There are too many people who give their resources to help cats NO MATTER WHOSE CAT everyday. Make some calls. Get Dorrie some help. And if all you plan to do here is display your poverty and misery and that of your cat while claiming there is "nothing you can do" about either, I for one will be happier not reading about it. Good luck. |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
And if all you plan to do here is
display your poverty and misery and that of your cat while claiming there is "nothing you can do" about either, I for one will be happier not reading about it. Well, wow, Mary, I have to say I'm a little confused. You jumped all over what Megan said to Dorrie's mom and, yet, the things you have said are just as bad or worse. I kind of hope she meant what she said and isn't going to read the followups. While I agree that, when one puts oneself "out there" on usenet, one is liable to get any sort of response including negative, it seems as though you're making just as much of a value judgement on her character/personality/life/emotional state/what-have-you as Megan did. Then you are far too fragile for Usenet, and possibly for this world. Remember that song, "Starry, Starry Night"? "Oh, Vincent, the world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." Maybe H. is just more gentle than many of us. That you want to silence anyone, rather than finding a gd backbone and either standing up for yourself or just ignoring the posters you don't like relegates you to the realm of the petty cowards who are running this world today in my book. Sounds like you're defending Megan, then, so where's the problem with what Megan said? Like I posted, I wouldn't have said it but I like Megan and I know she has been misinterpreted by many others, too. I seriously doubt if she meant to hurt H. but she's an outspoken woman. Is this part of the drama of being tragic? You seem to want to wallow in misery. Your heart is in the right place, but you lack backbone. Why isn't that as bad as what Megan said? I think I'd rather be accused of having an anxiety disorder instead of being a miserable, cowardly, drama queen. I just don't see why what Megan said is worse. Sounds like you're on the same page. Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail) See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace "One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely) |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
And if all you plan to do here is
display your poverty and misery and that of your cat while claiming there is "nothing you can do" about either, I for one will be happier not reading about it. Well, wow, Mary, I have to say I'm a little confused. You jumped all over what Megan said to Dorrie's mom and, yet, the things you have said are just as bad or worse. I kind of hope she meant what she said and isn't going to read the followups. While I agree that, when one puts oneself "out there" on usenet, one is liable to get any sort of response including negative, it seems as though you're making just as much of a value judgement on her character/personality/life/emotional state/what-have-you as Megan did. Then you are far too fragile for Usenet, and possibly for this world. Remember that song, "Starry, Starry Night"? "Oh, Vincent, the world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." Maybe H. is just more gentle than many of us. That you want to silence anyone, rather than finding a gd backbone and either standing up for yourself or just ignoring the posters you don't like relegates you to the realm of the petty cowards who are running this world today in my book. Sounds like you're defending Megan, then, so where's the problem with what Megan said? Like I posted, I wouldn't have said it but I like Megan and I know she has been misinterpreted by many others, too. I seriously doubt if she meant to hurt H. but she's an outspoken woman. Is this part of the drama of being tragic? You seem to want to wallow in misery. Your heart is in the right place, but you lack backbone. Why isn't that as bad as what Megan said? I think I'd rather be accused of having an anxiety disorder instead of being a miserable, cowardly, drama queen. I just don't see why what Megan said is worse. Sounds like you're on the same page. Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail) See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace "One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely) |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
Posted and emailed:
But I'm sick wondering about the awful things that were said about me in follow-ups, as someone who emailed me privately averted to. You know, I've read all your posts in the last few months and responded to many (as you know) and I have to honestly say I don't recall people talking about you in follow-ups. Maybe someone told you they did but I sure don't remember it and I have a good memory. You can google your posts to find out for sure and, if it's really bothering you what people said, I would do so because I don't think you'll find anything. allowed this woman (because in my gut I am certain the various email addresses can all be traced to the same vicious soul) If you're referring to Megan, she doesn't use various email addresses. She only uses one as far as I know and I've "known" her online for a few years. I'm just setting the record straight here as I think both of these statements are inaccurate. Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail) See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace "One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely) |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
Posted and emailed:
But I'm sick wondering about the awful things that were said about me in follow-ups, as someone who emailed me privately averted to. You know, I've read all your posts in the last few months and responded to many (as you know) and I have to honestly say I don't recall people talking about you in follow-ups. Maybe someone told you they did but I sure don't remember it and I have a good memory. You can google your posts to find out for sure and, if it's really bothering you what people said, I would do so because I don't think you'll find anything. allowed this woman (because in my gut I am certain the various email addresses can all be traced to the same vicious soul) If you're referring to Megan, she doesn't use various email addresses. She only uses one as far as I know and I've "known" her online for a few years. I'm just setting the record straight here as I think both of these statements are inaccurate. Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail) See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace "One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely) |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
"MacCandace" wrote in message ... And if all you plan to do here is display your poverty and misery and that of your cat while claiming there is "nothing you can do" about either, I for one will be happier not reading about it. Well, wow, Mary, I have to say I'm a little confused. You jumped all over what Megan said to Dorrie's mom and, yet, the things you have said are just as bad or worse. Sorry to confuse you. Let me clear a few things up for you. I responded to the topic Hilary posted as honestly as I could. Megan on the other hand answered the question: "What do I do about my cat's flatulance" by saying "I've gone over your history and you need psychiatric help." Not the same thing at all. As for the things I said being "bad," well, that's a subjective judgment. I asked Hilary several questions, and I offered her several observations. What I did NOT do was suggest that she is out of her mind, or fail to address the topics she raised. I kind of hope she meant what she said and isn't going to read the followups. I don't really care either way. I think my points were valid and my questions reasonable. She raised a topic and I responded. That's the way it works. It's up to her to read it or not. I've had my say so I am happy. While I agree that, when one puts oneself "out there" on usenet, one is liable to get any sort of response including negative, it seems as though you're making just as much of a value judgement on her character/personality/life/emotional state/what-have-you as Megan did. I made specific observations about her statements. She asked questions and I answered them. I also asked her additional questions. I did not suggest that she not ask questions about cat flatulence or anything else, and I did not suggest that this is not the place for her to discuss her concerns, that a shrink might be a better choice. Value judgment? This is a discussion. Use your mind. Learn to make disctinctions. Then you are far too fragile for Usenet, and possibly for this world. Remember that song, "Starry, Starry Night"? "Oh, Vincent, the world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." Maybe H. is just more gentle than many of us. Maybe. Did I say that was a bad thing? Read the gd post. Read it and THINK about it. I gave her my opinions on what happens when one pours one's despair and pessimism and defeatist attitudes out in a public forum. Generally three things. Etc. What I wrote needs no further explanation. What I had to say to Hilary differed vastly from what Megan had to say to her. How? Go back and look. Brain in gear. That you want to silence anyone, rather than finding a gd backbone and either standing up for yourself or just ignoring the posters you don't like relegates you to the realm of the petty cowards who are running this world today in my book. Sounds like you're defending Megan, then, so where's the problem with what Megan said? You're making too many assumptions. What I meant is what I wrote--very simple. It doesn't matter WHO she wants to silence. What matters is the attempt to silence. This is a discussion forum. The same thing that made me react negatively to Megan NOT answering Hilary's question re her smelly cat (she instead refused to answer it and essentially said that the fact Hilary brought it up meant that she needs "help") is what caused me to react negatively to Hilary demanding that the "nice people here" put a stop to the nasty, nasty posts she never really attributed to anyone in particular. What do both things have in common? A core of attempted censorship. A refusal to use a free and unmoderated forum for what it is--a place to discuss. Share information. Not a nicey-nice social club. Not a place where you shut someone up by suggesting they "get help." It's very simple. Like I posted, I wouldn't have said it but I like Megan and I know she has been misinterpreted by many others, too. I seriously doubt if she meant to hurt H. but she's an outspoken woman. Is this part of the drama of being tragic? You seem to want to wallow in misery. Your heart is in the right place, but you lack backbone. Why isn't that as bad as what Megan said? I think I'd rather be accused of having an anxiety disorder instead of being a miserable, cowardly, drama queen. It may be just as bad. It's your call. And hers, and his, and etc. This is my opinion, my response to the topics Hilary brought up. Short of repeating everything I said, that is all I can say. I just don't see why what Megan said is worse. Sounds like you're on the same page. Everything I say may be "worse" than everything Megan says. I'm not even sure what that means. I never claimed to be superior to Megan, after all. If you want to understand the difference between Megan's comments and my own, the distinctions lie he 1. Megan responded to Hilary's question about how to make her cat smell better by saying "you need psychiatric help." 2. I responded to Hilary's new post, the topics of which were several, with specific answers to specific questions she asked. Specifics. Answers. And some questions for her. And a couple of observations like the fact that she might change her focus (from, say, the scatalogical i.e. the general stinkiness of old things and creatures, to, oh, I don't know-- opening the windows, airing the place out, and seeing what the new day brings?) and feel better. I suggested that she is not helpless. I suggested (or, actually, implied) that there are better ways to get the attention we all need than to wallow in helplessness and sadness. I did not suggest that Hilary needs professionaly help. I made other suggestions to Hilary. Think they were mean and nasty and cruel? Well, I guess you are entitled. In fact, I am certain you are entitled. I love a good discussion. |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
"MacCandace" wrote in message ... And if all you plan to do here is display your poverty and misery and that of your cat while claiming there is "nothing you can do" about either, I for one will be happier not reading about it. Well, wow, Mary, I have to say I'm a little confused. You jumped all over what Megan said to Dorrie's mom and, yet, the things you have said are just as bad or worse. Sorry to confuse you. Let me clear a few things up for you. I responded to the topic Hilary posted as honestly as I could. Megan on the other hand answered the question: "What do I do about my cat's flatulance" by saying "I've gone over your history and you need psychiatric help." Not the same thing at all. As for the things I said being "bad," well, that's a subjective judgment. I asked Hilary several questions, and I offered her several observations. What I did NOT do was suggest that she is out of her mind, or fail to address the topics she raised. I kind of hope she meant what she said and isn't going to read the followups. I don't really care either way. I think my points were valid and my questions reasonable. She raised a topic and I responded. That's the way it works. It's up to her to read it or not. I've had my say so I am happy. While I agree that, when one puts oneself "out there" on usenet, one is liable to get any sort of response including negative, it seems as though you're making just as much of a value judgement on her character/personality/life/emotional state/what-have-you as Megan did. I made specific observations about her statements. She asked questions and I answered them. I also asked her additional questions. I did not suggest that she not ask questions about cat flatulence or anything else, and I did not suggest that this is not the place for her to discuss her concerns, that a shrink might be a better choice. Value judgment? This is a discussion. Use your mind. Learn to make disctinctions. Then you are far too fragile for Usenet, and possibly for this world. Remember that song, "Starry, Starry Night"? "Oh, Vincent, the world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." Maybe H. is just more gentle than many of us. Maybe. Did I say that was a bad thing? Read the gd post. Read it and THINK about it. I gave her my opinions on what happens when one pours one's despair and pessimism and defeatist attitudes out in a public forum. Generally three things. Etc. What I wrote needs no further explanation. What I had to say to Hilary differed vastly from what Megan had to say to her. How? Go back and look. Brain in gear. That you want to silence anyone, rather than finding a gd backbone and either standing up for yourself or just ignoring the posters you don't like relegates you to the realm of the petty cowards who are running this world today in my book. Sounds like you're defending Megan, then, so where's the problem with what Megan said? You're making too many assumptions. What I meant is what I wrote--very simple. It doesn't matter WHO she wants to silence. What matters is the attempt to silence. This is a discussion forum. The same thing that made me react negatively to Megan NOT answering Hilary's question re her smelly cat (she instead refused to answer it and essentially said that the fact Hilary brought it up meant that she needs "help") is what caused me to react negatively to Hilary demanding that the "nice people here" put a stop to the nasty, nasty posts she never really attributed to anyone in particular. What do both things have in common? A core of attempted censorship. A refusal to use a free and unmoderated forum for what it is--a place to discuss. Share information. Not a nicey-nice social club. Not a place where you shut someone up by suggesting they "get help." It's very simple. Like I posted, I wouldn't have said it but I like Megan and I know she has been misinterpreted by many others, too. I seriously doubt if she meant to hurt H. but she's an outspoken woman. Is this part of the drama of being tragic? You seem to want to wallow in misery. Your heart is in the right place, but you lack backbone. Why isn't that as bad as what Megan said? I think I'd rather be accused of having an anxiety disorder instead of being a miserable, cowardly, drama queen. It may be just as bad. It's your call. And hers, and his, and etc. This is my opinion, my response to the topics Hilary brought up. Short of repeating everything I said, that is all I can say. I just don't see why what Megan said is worse. Sounds like you're on the same page. Everything I say may be "worse" than everything Megan says. I'm not even sure what that means. I never claimed to be superior to Megan, after all. If you want to understand the difference between Megan's comments and my own, the distinctions lie he 1. Megan responded to Hilary's question about how to make her cat smell better by saying "you need psychiatric help." 2. I responded to Hilary's new post, the topics of which were several, with specific answers to specific questions she asked. Specifics. Answers. And some questions for her. And a couple of observations like the fact that she might change her focus (from, say, the scatalogical i.e. the general stinkiness of old things and creatures, to, oh, I don't know-- opening the windows, airing the place out, and seeing what the new day brings?) and feel better. I suggested that she is not helpless. I suggested (or, actually, implied) that there are better ways to get the attention we all need than to wallow in helplessness and sadness. I did not suggest that Hilary needs professionaly help. I made other suggestions to Hilary. Think they were mean and nasty and cruel? Well, I guess you are entitled. In fact, I am certain you are entitled. I love a good discussion. |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
Well, I guess you
are entitled. In fact, I am certain you are entitled. I love a good discussion. Oh, well, it looks like it's just you and me so I don't think anyone else gives a crap. We both said what we had to say so I guess that's it for this unless someone else jumps in. Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail) See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace "One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely) |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|