HELP!!! My 2 year old is ruining an expensive leather couch

On 2004-12-29, Mary penned:

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-29, Mary penned:

And you have cats now?

No, I have cat. I described the whole ordeal in great detail on the
anecdotes
NG, if you really care to find out.

Eric isn't allergic to Oscar. He is to Eros. *shrug*

[snip story]

I see. Eric had better turn out to be PERMANENTLY worth it.

Why would I marry someone if I didn't expect them to be permanently worth it?

If it matters at all, before I brought Eros into my home, I told the previous
owner I would only take him on the condition that she would take him back if
he and Oscar didn't get along. Of course, when push came to shove, she backed
out and wasn't willing to upset her daughter by temporarily homing the cat
while she and I worked toward finding an owner. She was supposedly looking
into finding him a spot as a barn cat.

Screw it. I have a huge sense of responsibility toward pets. I won't get a
dog because I know I don't have time for one. I tried to get a second cat
just so that Oscar wouldn't be bored! I made sure that I had an out by asking
if the previous owner would take Eros back if the two gets didn't get along.
I didn't expect that she'd change her mind when the situation actually came
about.

Despite having a husband in the "telemetry ward" for several days having his
vitals monitored against another relapse, I took care of both cats and I tried
to find an adoptive family for Eros. I asked everyone I knew. I spent a lot
of money keeping him in a nice kennel where they (and I) played with him all
the time, while I continued to try to find a home for him. I was in despair
about the idea of taking him to a shelter. Both the kennel employees and my
vet enthused about how wonderful this shelter is, how nice their facilities
are and how well they take care of their cats. So, finally, I brought him to
this shelter, and when he does find his forever home, his new family will
receive a $50 gift certificate to help get him set up properly. I would
happily have paid his adoption fees in advance, but the shelter advised
against that to ensure that his potential family has enough money to take care
fo him properly. And as a result of all this, I am sending the shelter
monthly donations to help Eros and others like him.

You think you're so morally superior because you'd put a cat you've *just
met*, who has no behavioral problems and is extremely loving and adaptable to
new surroundings, above the person to whom you've pledged to spend the rest of
your life? You think that you're so special because you'd "never" think of
putting a pet in a shelter? Well, I used to be like you, too. I would never
give up Oscar for Eric, and he would never ask me to do so. We both know that
Oscar stays, no matter what. But that was decided *before* I married Eric. I
wouldn't have remained in a relationship with him if he couldn't tolerate
Oscar, even physically. And Eros, well, I tried my best for him. He's a
great cat and I love him to pieces, and I visit him often. I would never have
brought him to a shelter that would euthanize him, but that's not the case.
He's in a freaking CAT CONDO with other cats. He spent the first few weeks in
seventh heaven with a kitten named Tucker, and he was so enamored of the
little guy that when I brought him out to visit, all he wanted to do is go
back and hang with Tucker. That definitely sounds like a miserable cat to me.
No, wait, it doesn't. Granted, Tucker was quickly adopted and Eros is now
rooming with more sedate cats, but he's still doing fine. He has a cold. I
brought it up to the shelter manager and he's now on vet rounds.

You know, it took me a while to realize it, but I did NOT act irresponsibly.
I may have been naive in trying to adopt this cat, whose previous owner had no
other leads and probably would have brought him to a shelter *anyway*, but I
did NOT act irresponsibly in trying to find a home for him. At a minimum,
dozens of people look at the cats in this shelter every day. Do you really
think I would have that kind of chance of finding him a forever home from my
house?

It must be a lonely life, when only your feline family members are worth
keeping around and all the humans are disposable.

And if you didn't mean to sound as condescending and superior as you sounded in
that one-liner, then I apologize for ranting at you.

--
monique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream DLH
with an attitude!

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-29, Mary penned:

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-29, Mary penned:

And you have cats now?

No, I have cat. I described the whole ordeal in great detail on the
anecdotes
NG, if you really care to find out.

Eric isn't allergic to Oscar. He is to Eros. *shrug*

[snip story]

I see. Eric had better turn out to be PERMANENTLY worth it.

Why would I marry someone if I didn't expect them to be permanently worth
it?

If it matters at all, before I brought Eros into my home, I told the
previous
owner I would only take him on the condition that she would take him back
if
he and Oscar didn't get along. Of course, when push came to shove, she
backed
out and wasn't willing to upset her daughter by temporarily homing the cat
while she and I worked toward finding an owner. She was supposedly
looking
into finding him a spot as a barn cat.

Screw it. I have a huge sense of responsibility toward pets. I won't get
a
dog because I know I don't have time for one. I tried to get a second cat
just so that Oscar wouldn't be bored! I made sure that I had an out by
asking
if the previous owner would take Eros back if the two gets didn't get
along.
I didn't expect that she'd change her mind when the situation actually
came
about.

Despite having a husband in the "telemetry ward" for several days having
his
vitals monitored against another relapse, I took care of both cats and I
tried
to find an adoptive family for Eros. I asked everyone I knew. I spent a
lot
of money keeping him in a nice kennel where they (and I) played with him
all
the time, while I continued to try to find a home for him. I was in
despair
about the idea of taking him to a shelter. Both the kennel employees and
my
vet enthused about how wonderful this shelter is, how nice their
facilities
are and how well they take care of their cats. So, finally, I brought him
to
this shelter, and when he does find his forever home, his new family will
receive a $50 gift certificate to help get him set up properly. I would
happily have paid his adoption fees in advance, but the shelter advised
against that to ensure that his potential family has enough money to take
care
fo him properly. And as a result of all this, I am sending the shelter
monthly donations to help Eros and others like him.

You think you're so morally superior because you'd put a cat you've *just
met*, who has no behavioral problems and is extremely loving and adaptable
to
new surroundings, above the person to whom you've pledged to spend the
rest of
your life? You think that you're so special because you'd "never" think
of
putting a pet in a shelter? Well, I used to be like you, too. I would
never
give up Oscar for Eric, and he would never ask me to do so. We both know
that
Oscar stays, no matter what. But that was decided *before* I married
Eric. I
wouldn't have remained in a relationship with him if he couldn't tolerate
Oscar, even physically. And Eros, well, I tried my best for him. He's a
great cat and I love him to pieces, and I visit him often. I would never
have
brought him to a shelter that would euthanize him, but that's not the
case.
He's in a freaking CAT CONDO with other cats. He spent the first few
weeks in
seventh heaven with a kitten named Tucker, and he was so enamored of the
little guy that when I brought him out to visit, all he wanted to do is go
back and hang with Tucker. That definitely sounds like a miserable cat to
me.
No, wait, it doesn't. Granted, Tucker was quickly adopted and Eros is now
rooming with more sedate cats, but he's still doing fine. He has a cold.
I
brought it up to the shelter manager and he's now on vet rounds.

You know, it took me a while to realize it, but I did NOT act
irresponsibly.
I may have been naive in trying to adopt this cat, whose previous owner
had no
other leads and probably would have brought him to a shelter *anyway*, but
I
did NOT act irresponsibly in trying to find a home for him. At a minimum,
dozens of people look at the cats in this shelter every day. Do you
really
think I would have that kind of chance of finding him a forever home from
my
house?

It must be a lonely life, when only your feline family members are worth
keeping around and all the humans are disposable.

And if you didn't mean to sound as condescending and superior as you
sounded in
that one-liner, then I apologize for ranting at you.

--

Do you feel better now? You claim to have really loved Eros, so my comment
addressed that. I said "I see. Eric had better turn out to be PERMANENTLY
worth it"
given what you gave up. It really does not matter what you THINK will
happen, now
does it? You just got ****ed at me for merely wishing that your marriage is
happy
and lasts forever. Dip.

Yeesh. If it were me, I'd get a pretty throw and just keep it on the
couch when it's not in use and when it is in use, shoo the cat away. If
the cat pees on the throw - wash it and put it back.

On 2004-12-29, Mary penned:

Do you feel better now? You claim to have really loved Eros, so my comment
addressed that. I said "I see. Eric had better turn out to be PERMANENTLY
worth it" given what you gave up. It really does not matter what you THINK
will happen, now does it? You just got ****ed at me for merely wishing that
your marriage is happy and lasts forever. Dip.

If it had sounded sincere, I wouldn't have responded that way. The phrase
"had better be worth it" is rarely used in conjunction with felicitations.
Think about it.

No, I think I had it pegged the first time. If you'd really meant to wish me
a happy marriage, you wouldn't have expressed yourself the way you did.

I'm regretful of saying some nasty things in my post, but I'm
not going to try to twist my own words so that they sound sweeter. I said
what I said.

Anyway, flamewars are much like overdosing on candy; they're fun and get the
blood pumping while they happen, but afterwards they just leave you feeling
gross and guilty. So I'm bowing out of this discussion. Think what you will
of me.

--
monique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream DLH
with an attitude!

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-29, Mary penned:

Do you feel better now? You claim to have really loved Eros, so my
comment
addressed that. I said "I see. Eric had better turn out to be
PERMANENTLY
worth it" given what you gave up. It really does not matter what you
THINK
will happen, now does it? You just got ****ed at me for merely wishing
that
your marriage is happy and lasts forever. Dip.

If it had sounded sincere, I wouldn't have responded that way. The phrase
"had better be worth it" is rarely used in conjunction with felicitations.
Think about it.

No, I think I had it pegged the first time. If you'd really meant to wish
me
a happy marriage, you wouldn't have expressed yourself the way you did.

I'm regretful of saying some nasty things in my post, but I'm
not going to try to twist my own words so that they sound sweeter. I said
what I said.

Anyway, flamewars are much like overdosing on candy; they're fun and get
the
blood pumping while they happen, but afterwards they just leave you
feeling
gross and guilty. So I'm bowing out of this discussion. Think what you
will
of me.

--
monique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream
DLH
with an attitude!


You're an idiot.

In article ,
"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote:

You know, it took me a while to realize it, but I did NOT act irresponsibly.

It sure sounds like you're right. Ignore the critics. Sounds like
you've worked it through yourself.

Priscilla

--
"It is very, very dangerous to treat any human, lowest
of the low even, with contempt and arrogant whatever.
The Lord takes this kind of treatment very, very personal."
- QBaal in newsgroup alt.religion.christian.episcopal

Dear Monique,

There is without a doubt, some asses on this ng that make assinine
statements!

I do admit that I was going to come down on you the leather couch,
but after reading further, your leather couch is really not the main
issue & you actually do have some major ones.

First, I hope Eric is well. And yes the statement that "Eric had
better turn out to be "PERMANENTLY worth it" & that it was supposed to
mean "merely wishing that your marriage is happy and lasts forever" is
a crock! The person knew damn well what they were insinuating! And
if G_d forbid, your marriage didn't work out down the road, would that
same person tell you "see, you should have kept the cat"?

I inherited my mom's 13 1/2 yr old cat back in 6/01, Shana. She has
put me thru hepatitus, hypertension, blindness & now Hyperthyroidism
(not bad, but high 'normals' of certain readings, but definitely
symptomatic).

She has accidents on my bed. My mattress is totally covered with
plastic, then the cotton sheet, plastic over that, my blanket, plastic
over that! My pillows have vinyl pillow cases. But ... I live alone
& don't have to worry about anyone but myself, so I'm sleeping with my
"vinyl" as best as possible. LOL She is now 15 1/2 yrs old and
totally blind. She gets fed in bed & her litterbox is in my bedroom.
I hope I can get another year or so of her companionship in spite of
having another younger cat.

You made a very tough decision & I certainly understand your feelings
of guilt and your tears of pain. But you're a good person & are doing
the best you can. The present shelter sounds great & hopefully Eros
will be adopted soon & you will be able to relax.

I hope you find my letter of support helpful as I want it to be so.
I've often wondered if these animals have any idea how they 'torture'
& 'grab at our hearts'! But aint they great! LOL
Best regards & a Happy New Year
Joan (sunny Florida)
Fla Joan

Dear Monique,

There is without a doubt, some asses on this ng that make assinine
statements!

I do admit that I was going to come down on you the leather couch,
but after reading further, your leather couch is really not the main
issue & you actually do have some major ones.

First, I hope Eric is well. And yes the statement that "Eric had
better turn out to be "PERMANENTLY worth it" & that it was supposed to
mean "merely wishing that your marriage is happy and lasts forever" is
a crock! The person knew damn well what they were insinuating! And if
G_d forbid, your marriage didn't work out down the road, would that
same person tell you "see, you should have kept the cat"?

I inherited my mom's 13 1/2 yr old cat back in 6/01, Shana. She has
put me thru hepatitus, hypertension, blindness & now Hyperthyroidism
(not bad, but high 'normals' of certain readings, but definitely
symptomatic).

She has accidents on my bed. My mattress is totally covered with
plastic, then the cotton sheet, plastic over that, my blanket, plastic
over that! My pillows have vinyl pillow cases. But ... I live alone &
don't have to worry about anyone but myself, so I'm sleeping with my
"vinyl" as best as possible. LOL She is now 15 1/2 yrs old and
totally blind. She gets fed in bed & her litterbox is in my bedroom.
I hope I can get another year or so of her companionship in spite of
having another younger cat.

You made a very tough decision & I certainly understand your feelings
of guilt and your tears of pain. But you're a good person & are doing
the best you can. The present shelter sounds great & hopefully Eros
will be adopted soon & you will be able to relax.

I hope you find my letter of support helpful as I want it to be so.
I've often wondered if these animals have any idea how they 'torture' &
'grab at our hearts'! But aint they great! LOL
Best regards & a Happy New Year
Joan (sunny Florida)

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
And I had to give up a cat
I'd just gotten, Eros, because my cat hated him and my husband was
allergic.

It's easy to say "take medication" and wave away the consequences of
being on
drugs all of your life. My husband *has* tried those medications,
and they
make him fall asleep constantly.

You know...I once probably would have argued if this were possible or
not. After all, it just doesn't make sense that someone can be
allergic to one cat and not another, right? And after all...allergies
aren't really that bad, right? Who would give up a cat over a few
sniffles?

And then we got Robin. I've had cats all my life. Both of my
significant others have had cats all their lives. None of us have ever
so much as sneezed from a cat. 13 cats in the household and not a
watering eye between us. Yet the moment we got Robin through the front
door it was like a war had been declared on my sinuses. I have no idea
what's different about her...she does have very unique, rough hair, so
I suspect she's probably more than just a DSH. What I do know is that
I'm allergic to her to a moderate degree. One of my SOs is HIGHLY
allergic to her. When we first got her he couldn't be in the same room
without having an asthma attack. If you haven't seen someone you love
fighting to breathe...well, it ain't too pretty.

It took me a while to admit that Robin was the problem and in the end,
it was actually pretty easy to solve. We found some allergy pads that
you basically "wipe" the cat off with that seemed to cut down on most
of the symptoms we both were experiencing. Robin's been with us almost
half a year now and has settled in nicely for the most part. But what
if those pads didn't work? Anyone who knows me here is aware of how
much I believe in responsible pet ownership. There's no such things
are being partly responsible...you either are or you aren't, there's no
middle ground. But is it responsible to force a loved one to feel like
hell every day? My SO would never dream of asking me to give up a cat
and the idea was never raised. There were no demands, no ultimatums.
This wasn't a case of keep the lover or keep the cat. If I was ever
given such a demand, the cat wins no matter what the situation, simply
because a person who would force that issue is not someone I can love
and not who I thought they were. But it could have been a case of keep
the cat and make your lover feel like **** for the rest of his life
because he won't leave you. Who am I more responsible for...my lover
who I've known for a few decades or the cat I've known for a week? The
lover can make a choice. The cat can't. Shouldn't I therefore be more
responsible for the cat, even at the loss of someone I care for so
deeply and who is so much a part of my life? Is it responsible to risk
sickness myself so that I might become unable to care for not only the
new cat but also the others I have become committed to?

Sometimes, rarely, I do believe that there are cases were the
responsible thing is to rehome an animal. Sometimes the owner is ill
and can no longer care for the pet. Sometimes the pet is making the
life of another animal in the household miserable and in such cases I
believe you have to do what is right for the animal that has been there
the longest. If Robin had turned out to be a bully and tried to hurt
Heather, I would not have kept her. Heather has been with me three
years and deserves better than to be pushed aside for the needs of a
new pet simply to prove that I'm a good pet owner. And sometimes
allergies really are serious and really can become life threatening. I
do believe that most of the time allergies are used as an excuse, a get
out of the shelter guilt free card...but having experienced how bad
they can be myself, I'm more reluctant to call anyone who claims them a
liar.

What's my point? I'm not really sure I have one. Just that being
responsible isn't always as clean cut as it seems. I'm deathly
allergic to rats. Yet I have two of them. I can't go into their room
without a mask and gloves. The natural result of this is that they get
less attention from me than they deserve. Luckily I have two other
people living with me who are willing to care for them and make sure
they get love and excurse. If I lived alone I would not have kept
them...because it would not have been fair to them and being
responsible is about more than putting on a good face and being a
martyr. I'm sure it would have been impressive if I kept them despite
the fact that I can't breathe around them...but hardly the life they
deserve. Yet I also know a girl who was going to kill five rats
because she was allergic...and I don't believe that is a responsible
act. So I guess I do have situational morals...just like everyone
else, which saddens me a bit.

Sethran (in a damn rambling mood)

Dear Monique,

There is without a doubt, some asses on this ng that make assinine
statements!

I do admit that I was going to come down on you the leather couch,
but after reading further, your leather couch is really not the main
issue & you actually do have some major ones.

First, I hope Eric is well. And yes the statement that "Eric had
better turn out to be "PERMANENTLY worth it" & that it was supposed to
mean "merely wishing that your marriage is happy and lasts forever" is
a crock! The person knew damn well what they were insinuating! And if
G_d forbid, your marriage didn't work out down the road, would that
same person tell you "see, you should have kept the cat"?

I inherited my mom's 13 1/2 yr old cat back in 6/01, Shana. She has
put me thru hepatitus, hypertension, blindness & now Hyperthyroidism
(not bad, but high 'normals' of certain readings, but definitely
symptomatic).

She has accidents on my bed. My mattress is totally covered with
plastic, then the cotton sheet, plastic over that, my blanket, plastic
over that! My pillows have vinyl pillow cases. But ... I live alone &
don't have to worry about anyone but myself, so I'm sleeping with my
"vinyl" as best as possible. LOL She is now 15 1/2 yrs old and
totally blind. She gets fed in bed & her litterbox is in my bedroom.
I hope I can get another year or so of her companionship in spite of
having another younger cat.

You made a very tough decision & I certainly understand your feelings
of guilt and your tears of pain. But you're a good person & are doing
the best you can. The present shelter sounds great & hopefully Eros
will be adopted soon & you will be able to relax.

I hope you find my letter of support helpful as I want it to be so.
I've often wondered if these animals have any idea how they 'torture' &
'grab at our hearts'! But aint they great! LOL
Best regards & a Happy New Year
Joan (sunny Florida)