HELP!!! My 2 year old is ruining an expensive leather couch

On 2004-12-30, Joan penned:
Dear Monique,

There is without a doubt, some asses on this ng that make assinine
statements!

I do admit that I was going to come down on you the leather couch, but
after reading further, your leather couch is really not the main issue & you
actually do have some major ones.

Well, while I appreciate your sympathy, I wasn't the person with the leather
couch. Neither of my cats has any peeing problems, for which I am profoundly
grateful. I am unimpressed with someone threatening to give away their cat
for peeing on a leather couch. Personally, I won't get a leather couch
because even one scratch would annoy me, and Oscar is used to jumping up onto
our fabric couches and grabbing with her claws.

First, I hope Eric is well. And yes the statement that "Eric had better
turn out to be "PERMANENTLY worth it" & that it was supposed to mean "merely
wishing that your marriage is happy and lasts forever" is a crock! The
person knew damn well what they were insinuating! And if G_d forbid, your
marriage didn't work out down the road, would that same person tell you
"see, you should have kept the cat"?

Eric's doing much better. After I got Eros out of the house, Eric stopped
coughing all night. I suspect the constant coughing led to sleep deprivation,
which led to a depressed immune system which led to all sorts of fun
illnesses. While Eros was around, Eric caught every bug in town.

I inherited my mom's 13 1/2 yr old cat back in 6/01, Shana. She has put me
thru hepatitus, hypertension, blindness & now Hyperthyroidism (not bad, but
high 'normals' of certain readings, but definitely symptomatic).

She has accidents on my bed. My mattress is totally covered with plastic,
then the cotton sheet, plastic over that, my blanket, plastic over that! My
pillows have vinyl pillow cases. But ... I live alone & don't have to worry
about anyone but myself, so I'm sleeping with my "vinyl" as best as
possible. LOL She is now 15 1/2 yrs old and totally blind. She gets fed
in bed & her litterbox is in my bedroom. I hope I can get another year or
so of her companionship in spite of having another younger cat.

Wow. That must be quite a sleeping arrangement! I have to admit that in that
situation, I would be tempted not to let the cat on the bed. But then, I'll
wait and see how I feel about it when Oscar is old and infirm, and I might
only have a short time left with her ...

You made a very tough decision & I certainly understand your feelings of
guilt and your tears of pain. But you're a good person & are doing the best
you can. The present shelter sounds great & hopefully Eros will be adopted
soon & you will be able to relax.

Thank you. I hope so. In the mean time, I will keep visiting him. They
reduced his adoption fee, but honestly I don't think that will matter.

Of course, the frustrating thing is that I know what a wonderful cat he is.
But when you take him into a "meeting room", he's more interested in all of
the neat smells than in the people. Well, who can blame him? Of course a cat
will find all the smells of other animals fascinating.

I made flyers with pictures of him at home, relaxed and playful, and they have
tucked them into his fact sheet, so hopefully people will take a look. Of
course, when people walk by when I'm visiting, I point at Eros and pantomime
that they should take him. It's gotten so that many visitors assume I'm staff
at the shelter!

I hope you find my letter of support helpful as I want it to be so. I've
often wondered if these animals have any idea how they 'torture' & 'grab at
our hearts'! But aint they great! LOL Best regards & a Happy New Year Joan
(sunny Florida) Fla Joan

Thanks very much, from sunny (but sometimes chilly!) Colorado!


--
monique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream DLH
with an attitude!

"Coyote Jack" wrote in message
...
She pees on it constantly. I have cleaned the leather, used a citrus
based cleaner to drive the cats away (We have a 3 cat household) and
done various other things including pherenomes...no good!

Scooter did not do this before we bought the couch. She will not pee
any where else...aka other furniture, and I see her use a litter box
(we have 3) all the time

WHY IS SHE DOING THIS?

My wife wants me to get a CatScram and see if that works. If it does
not, then I will have no option left (since we dont want a $3,000
dollar litter box) then to take her to a no-kill shelter... and I
kinda love the little brat.

She is spayed, but this started before she got spayed. The other 2
cats ignore the couch, other then to sleep on it. She is the middle
cat in the household, and gets along well with the other 2. She is
also the only female in the house. Gizmo is our oldest, and Tiger
has
only been in the house a few months (AFTER Scooter started the
peeing
on the couch)

Any suggestions will be welcome. You may e-mail me if you wish

Thanks


Coyote Jack

First have her checked out for a UTI and have a urine test done. Cats
sometimes pee on smooth surfaces when they have cystitis as it soothes
the pain.
Make sure she has easy access the litter trays with out feeling
intimidated by the other cats.
The citrus isn't working as a deterrent, sometimes cats will wee on
scents like this this to replace it with their own smell so you could
stop using it and clean the couch with biological washing power and
water to remove all traces of the urine and spray with feliway.
Try covering the couch , a different surface might stop her.
If she has been doing this for sometimes it becomes a habit and is
harder to stop.
Alison

"Dom" wrote in message
oups.com...

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:
And I had to give up a cat
I'd just gotten, Eros, because my cat hated him and my husband was
allergic.

It's easy to say "take medication" and wave away the consequences of
being on
drugs all of your life. My husband *has* tried those medications,
and they
make him fall asleep constantly.

You know...I once probably would have argued if this were possible or
not. After all, it just doesn't make sense that someone can be
allergic to one cat and not another, right? And after all...allergies
aren't really that bad, right? Who would give up a cat over a few
sniffles?

And then we got Robin.

I didn't argue this point because I am allergic to cats and am much
more allergic to Buddha than to Cheeky. It is obvious to everyone
around when I forget or am late with my medicine. (In fact I didn't argue
with MOnique at all, OR criticize her but what is going on in her head
appears to have drowned me out.)

"jks0614" wrote in message
oups.com...
Dear Monique,

There is without a doubt, some asses on this ng that make assinine
statements!

There ARE some asses, there ARE some asses. Sorry, but the first two times I
could take it, by the third time you
posted my inner Grammar Asshole would not be silenced.

[miscellaneous snippage]

On 2004-12-30, Dom penned:

You know...I once probably would have argued if this were possible or not.
After all, it just doesn't make sense that someone can be allergic to one
cat and not another, right? And after all...allergies aren't really that
bad, right? Who would give up a cat over a few sniffles?

There are a lot of possibilities. Apparently, darker-colored cats and male
cats have more allergens; Eros is both black and male, whereas Oscar is grey
and female. The surprise is that hair length apparently has little to do with
allergens. And then again, maybe it wasn't actually Eros. Allergies are
cumulative; maybe having one cat isn't enough to set his off, but two is the
breaking point.

Again, though, Eros upset Oscar enough that she wouldn't leave the bedroom. I
had to lock her up for her own safety. Eros really just wanted to play, but
every now and then Oscar would work up the nerve to hurl herself at Eros, and
in defending himself, he cut both of her ears. Finding blood on my cat just
wasn't a pleasant experience. I don't know if actual damage is considered a
normal part of cats duking it out, but it seemed bad enough and, taken in
combination with the allergies ... of the three original residents of the
house, two were deeply affected, and not in a good way, by Eros. I have a
responsiblity to Oscar, too. She was here first and is far more timid than
Eros. Now she carries permanent souvenirs =/

And who would give up a cat over a few sniffles? I don't know. I myself
haven't been in the position. Without getting into the gory details, which
aren't mine to tell, my husband tends to get very ill, like hospital ill, and
stress is often a trigger. A constant cold and the subsequent lack of sleep
is *definitely* a lot of stress.

Who am I more responsible for...my lover who I've known for a few
decades or the cat I've known for a week? The lover can make a
choice. The cat can't. Shouldn't I therefore be more responsible for
the cat, even at the loss of someone I care for so deeply and who is
so much a part of my life? Is it responsible to risk sickness myself
so that I might become unable to care for not only the new cat but
also the others I have become committed to?

And round and round we go. I refused to accept the situation for a while, and
Eric continued to be miserable. You know when something horrible happens to
you and your brain keeps trying to backtrack and find a way for the situation
never to have happened, or to find a way to fix the unfixable? I was in that
state for quite a while.

I grew up with a very strong ethic of "pets can't take care of themselves, so
we must care for them." My parents are big believers, and I am even stronger
in this belief. I believed that anyone who would give up a pet for any reason
must have something wrong with them. And then this happened, and as my brain
is pretty strict, I had to either revise my point of view or consider myself
to be an awful, immoral person.

Interestingly enough, the shelter seems to agree with me that there are some
cases that can't be helped. They have "pet loss" counsellors, and I was told
that this includes those who had to give up their pets.

Sometimes the pet is making the life of another animal in the
household miserable and in such cases I believe you have to do what is
right for the animal that has been there the longest. If Robin had
turned out to be a bully and tried to hurt Heather, I would not have
kept her. Heather has been with me three years and deserves better
than to be pushed aside for the needs of a new pet simply to prove
that I'm a good pet owner.

Bingo. It's sad, though, because Eros does get along great with other cats.
Oscar was just threatened by him, for some weird reason in her little cat
brain. Well, I know why. Eros wouldn't leave her alone. He wanted to play,
and the more she hid, the more he stalked her to get her to play. I could
just see her saying, "I vant to be left alone." Unfortunately, I couldn't
talk to them, tell Eros to give her time and tell Oscar to give him a chance.

Oddly, since Eros left, Oscar seems more comfortable in her own skin. Still
jumpy, but more playful and loving. This may be because I joined some cat NGs
and through them rediscovered the wonder of my own cat and have been treating
her better; this may be because I switched her to better food; or maybe she
has gained confidence, believing that she chased away the evil enemy.

And sometimes allergies really are serious and really can become life
threatening. I do believe that most of the time allergies are used as
an excuse, a get out of the shelter guilt free card...but having
experienced how bad they can be myself, I'm more reluctant to call
anyone who claims them a liar.

It's hard for me, too, because I've known many people who have allergies and
just deal. But hey, it's insane to me that a beesting or a strawberry can be
fatal, too, and there it is. I *did* give Eric the choice of whether or not to
keep Eros. I didn't feel I had the right to decide how much suffering he
should have to endure. But we've agreed that, no matter what, thick or thin,
Oscar will live with us. She's been with me through good and bad, and I don't
think a shelter would even consider her adoptable, anyway. It would have been
nice to have a super-cuddly love-monster to complement the jumpy, sometimes-
frustrating Oscar, but oh well.

Sethran (in a damn rambling mood)

I appreciate your ramblings. Thank you for sharing them.

--
monique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream DLH
with an attitude!

Monique!

LOL! These mssgs can get quite confusing + I have fibromyalgia which
causes "Fibro Fog" & I seem to be "cock-eyed foggy"!

I inherited my mom's 13 1/2 yr old cat back in 6/01, Shana. She has put me
thru hepatitus, hypertension, blindness & now Hyperthyroidism (not bad, but
high 'normals' of certain readings, but definitely symptomatic).

She has accidents on my bed. My mattress is totally covered with plastic,
then the cotton sheet, plastic over that, my blanket, plastic over that! My
pillows have vinyl pillow cases. But ... I live alone & don't have to worry
about anyone but myself, so I'm sleeping with my "vinyl" as best as
possible. LOL She is now 15 1/2 yrs old and totally blind. She gets fed
in bed & her litterbox is in my bedroom. I hope I can get another year or
so of her companionship in spite of having another younger cat.

Wow. That must be quite a sleeping arrangement! I have to admit that in that
situation, I would be tempted not to let the cat on the bed. But then, I'll
wait and see how I feel about it when Oscar is old and infirm, and I might
only have a short time left with her ...

I had to write you back since the "leather couch" & Eros has been
straightened out in my head! LOL

As I mentioned, b/c I live alone, I don't have to worry about anyone
but myself & the cat(s). As for "thinking" about keeping Shana off
the bed, it's like you mentioned:
I'll wait and see how I feel about it when Oscar is old and infirm

Shana has me "hooked"! There's something about her, there always was
even when she wasn't very fond of me, then hated me (when my mom owned
her). Shana has also become very much my "buddy". From whom she was
as mom's pet, to the way she is with me, there are similarities, yet
she's different.
Shana "owns" me hook, line & sinker!

A few months ago, b4 she starting living her life on my bed, she
stayed in the kitchen either huddled by the fridge or sleeping on the
chair. She wasn't feeling well & I had taken her to the vet. I felt
she was suffering & it was time for me to let go. I made the appt,
but when I started to leave the house, I became totally hysterical. I
couldn't do it! Maybe 'tomorrow'.

I don't remember what changed from that day (I have memory problems),
but I guess it was shortly after that Shana started to live on my bed.
I had read that someone else had started feeding her blind cat on the
bed.

I've no regrets & I am handling the 'vinyl bed'. I do manage to get
myself on top of some 'sheets' & get the blanket over me. And Shana?
I get lots of hugs & rough tongue kisses - & sometimes right on the
lips!
************************************************** ******************************************
What am I "missing" about Eros not being adoptable? I'm 'feeling'
frustrated about Eros for adoption.

Every once in awhile I get "hooked" on someone's plight. You are the
2nd. The 1st was a young lady that needed financial help for her cat
Jack's needed surguery & so she posted an eBay auction for support.
She gave the hospital #'s, etc. I called to confirm if all - (San
Francisco) was legit & placed my bid. Others did follow.

I just got a holiday postcard from the Monica & Jack the cat! All is
well!

Regards,
Joan

PS It's been rainy & not so nice here! :-(





You made a very tough decision & I certainly understand your feelings of
guilt and your tears of pain. But you're a good person & are doing the best
you can. The present shelter sounds great & hopefully Eros will be adopted
soon & you will be able to relax.

Thank you. I hope so. In the mean time, I will keep visiting him. They
reduced his adoption fee, but honestly I don't think that will matter.

Of course, the frustrating thing is that I know what a wonderful cat he is.
But when you take him into a "meeting room", he's more interested in all of
the neat smells than in the people. Well, who can blame him? Of course a cat
will find all the smells of other animals fascinating.

I made flyers with pictures of him at home, relaxed and playful, and they have
tucked them into his fact sheet, so hopefully people will take a look. Of
course, when people walk by when I'm visiting, I point at Eros and pantomime
that they should take him. It's gotten so that many visitors assume I'm staff
at the shelter!

I hope you find my letter of support helpful as I want it to be so. I've
often wondered if these animals have any idea how they 'torture' & 'grab at
our hearts'! But aint they great! LOL Best regards & a Happy New Year Joan
(sunny Florida) Fla Joan

Thanks very much, from sunny (but sometimes chilly!) Colorado!

Fla Joan

Monique, you gave your cat away, end of story. No need to keep trying
to justify your actions.

On 2004-12-31, Toni&Nate penned:
Monique, you gave your cat away, end of story. No need to keep trying to
justify your actions.

No need for you to post, either.

--
monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2004-12-31, Toni&Nate penned:
Monique, you gave your cat away, end of story. No need to keep trying
to
justify your actions.

No need for you to post, either.


Sure there is.

"Toni&Nate" wrote in message
...
Monique, you gave your cat away, end of story. No need to keep trying
to justify your actions.


She clearly feels that it was wrong. I feel sad for her.