Smudge is dying

Thank you, everyone, for tttttttttttttttttttttr (--- that's from
Smudge, she's here in the computer room with me) all the sympathy
and nice messages.

We're hanging out together while I sit at the computer. It's almost
like old times, except that she's spacy and very slow-moving. But she
did eat a little of the crunchies I put down for her, and when I pet
her, I can hear her whispery little purr. That is a miracle, because
she's done little but run away, or hiss and growl at me, whenever I've
come near, over the past year.

She's even jumped up on the desk a few times, walked around and
accepted a few pets from me, and then jumped back down. Mostly she's
been curled up in a little cubbyhole - the bottom of a set of shelves
next to my desk, away from the door. The door may be closed, but she
knows who's behind it. I hope it feels safe and comfy for her.

And I hope she's not missing her buddy Matt (my neighbor). He's going
to come over tomorrow to say goodbye to her. I would have liked to let
her hang out at his house - that's where she's chosen to live for the
past two years. But I want to keep watch over her and make sure she
doesn't have a medical emergency outside, all by herself. But it doesn't
seem fair that a cat who loves and *needs* to be outdoors is spending
her final hours inside. Maybe at this point, she's too sick to care.

It's really hard to believe she's actually dying.

Joyce

On 4/6/2011 1:23 AM, wrote:
Thank you, everyone, for tttttttttttttttttttttr (--- that's from
Smudge, she's here in the computer room with me) all the sympathy
and nice messages.

We're hanging out together while I sit at the computer. It's almost
like old times, except that she's spacy and very slow-moving. But she
did eat a little of the crunchies I put down for her, and when I pet
her, I can hear her whispery little purr. That is a miracle, because
she's done little but run away, or hiss and growl at me, whenever I've
come near, over the past year.

She's even jumped up on the desk a few times, walked around and
accepted a few pets from me, and then jumped back down. Mostly she's
been curled up in a little cubbyhole - the bottom of a set of shelves
next to my desk, away from the door. The door may be closed, but she
knows who's behind it. I hope it feels safe and comfy for her.

And I hope she's not missing her buddy Matt (my neighbor). He's going
to come over tomorrow to say goodbye to her. I would have liked to let
her hang out at his house - that's where she's chosen to live for the
past two years. But I want to keep watch over her and make sure she
doesn't have a medical emergency outside, all by herself. But it doesn't
seem fair that a cat who loves and *needs* to be outdoors is spending
her final hours inside. Maybe at this point, she's too sick to care.

It's really hard to believe she's actually dying.

Joyce

((((((((((Joyce))))))))) (((((((((Smudge)))))))))
(((((((((Matt))))))))))

Pam S

On Apr 6, 12:23*am, wrote:
Thank you, everyone, for tttttttttttttttttttttr (--- that's from
Smudge, she's here in the computer room with me) all the sympathy
and nice messages.

We're hanging out together while I sit at the computer. It's almost
like old times, except that she's spacy and very slow-moving. But she
did eat a little of the crunchies I put down for her, and when I pet
her, I can hear her whispery little purr. That is a miracle, because
she's done little but run away, or hiss and growl at me, whenever I've
come near, over the past year.

She's even jumped up on the desk a few times, walked around and
accepted a few pets from me, and then jumped back down. Mostly she's
been curled up in a little cubbyhole - the bottom of a set of shelves
next to my desk, away from the door. The door may be closed, but she
knows who's behind it. I hope it feels safe and comfy for her.

And I hope she's not missing her buddy Matt (my neighbor). He's going
to come over tomorrow to say goodbye to her. I would have liked to let
her hang out at his house - that's where she's chosen to live for the
past two years. But I want to keep watch over her and make sure she
doesn't have a medical emergency outside, all by herself. But it doesn't
seem fair that a cat who loves and *needs* to be outdoors is spending
her final hours inside. Maybe at this point, she's too sick to care.

It's really hard to believe she's actually dying.

Joyce

I'm so sorry, Joyce. Remember daughter has lost two cats to cancer
over the last
couple of years. It always breaks my heart to hear about a cancer
diagnosis and
for some reason it seems so common now. Maybe it's just a matter of us
taking
better care of our cats, so they live longer and better diagnostics. I
don't know.
Anyway, I am just so sorry.
Remember how stoic cats are, it's part of their defense mechanism to
hide pain. If she's
acting normal I don't think she's in pain. If she starts to hide,
that's usually a clue she's
hurting.
I know how hard it is, there just aren't words.
Sherry