Birthday present - possible GW

"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...


I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.)
walks into a bar" jokes.

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me
a Martinus.
The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?"
The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one."

Howling! [I took Latin in high school and still remember: amo, amas,
amatis, amamus, amantis, amant - but at that point I did *NOT* love anything
about that class!!!]

Hugs,

CatNipped

Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

In article , "CatNipped"
wrote:

"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...


I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.)
walks into a bar" jokes.

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me
a Martinus.
The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?"
The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one."

Howling! [I took Latin in high school and still remember: amo, amas,
amatis, amamus, amantis, amant - but at that point I did *NOT* love
anything
about that class!!!]

I had the misfortune of taking (and flunking) a course in Latin that
tried to be "relevant." A typical early lesson dealt with teenagers
going on a "picus-nicus", where they drank "Cocam-Colam".

"Howard Berkowitz" wrote in message
...
In article , "CatNipped"
wrote:

"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...


I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.)
walks into a bar" jokes.

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me
a Martinus.
The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?"
The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one."

Howling! [I took Latin in high school and still remember: amo, amas,
amatis, amamus, amantis, amant - but at that point I did *NOT* love
anything
about that class!!!]

I had the misfortune of taking (and flunking) a course in Latin that
tried to be "relevant." A typical early lesson dealt with teenagers
going on a "picus-nicus", where they drank "Cocam-Colam".

OK, you owe me a keyboard for that one! ;

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 02:44:16 GMT, "CatNipped"
yodeled:

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"mlbriggs" wrote in message
news On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote:

Christina Websell wrote:
This was your *birthday present* ?? OMG. Please don't tell me
what
you had
for Christmas!.. one or both of you is crazy ;-)

Apparently it's the latest rage here in the US, they call them
"colonics" or something like that. Apparently many celebrities are
very
fond of them...

It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used
to
do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema.
MLB

And again in the 50's in Hollywood. I saw a show once that postulated
that
that's how Marilyn Monroe was "murdered". She would get her maid to
give
her one almost nightly and the show gave all kinds of "evidence" that
the
barbituates where given to her that way and not taken orally.

Hugs,

CatNipped

Ohgawdhelpme, this reminded me of another corny joke...

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer." The
bartender replies, "No, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel
free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a coke." The bear growls
loudly and says, "No way, I said give me a beer and you'd better give me a
beer!". "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve
alcohol
to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a
coke." Enraged the bear growls even louder and roars, "I SAID GIVE ME A
BEER!" "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol
to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and ..." "I KNOW", the bear
screams, "I can have a seat and some peanuts and a coke, but I don't
*WANT"
a seat and some peanuts and a coke, I want a beer and if you don't give me
a
beer I'm going to walk over there and eat that woman!" he says, pointing
to
a boozy blonde draped over the end of the bar. "Sorry," the bartender
replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol..."
"AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!," the bear yowled as he headed for the blonde,
grabbed her in is arms, ripped her apart, and gobbled her down. "Now,"
the
bear screamed, "are you going to offer me a seat and peanuts and a coke,
or
are you going to give me my beer?" "Neither," the bartender rejoined
calmly, "now I'm going to ask you to leave. This establishment does not
allow drug users on the premises." "What?" asked the puzzled bear, "What
are you talking about, I'm not a drug user." "Well," replied the
bartender,
"that was a bar bitch you ate!"

ducking and running

Hugs,

CatNipped



I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.)
walks into a bar" jokes.

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me
a Martinus.
The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?"
The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one."


ROFL!

Tweed





Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 02:44:16 GMT, "CatNipped"
yodeled:

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"mlbriggs" wrote in message
news On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote:

Christina Websell wrote:
This was your *birthday present* ?? OMG. Please don't tell me
what
you had
for Christmas!.. one or both of you is crazy ;-)

Apparently it's the latest rage here in the US, they call them
"colonics" or something like that. Apparently many celebrities are
very
fond of them...

It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used
to
do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema.
MLB

And again in the 50's in Hollywood. I saw a show once that postulated
that
that's how Marilyn Monroe was "murdered". She would get her maid to
give
her one almost nightly and the show gave all kinds of "evidence" that
the
barbituates where given to her that way and not taken orally.

Hugs,

CatNipped

Ohgawdhelpme, this reminded me of another corny joke...

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer." The
bartender replies, "No, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel
free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a coke." The bear growls
loudly and says, "No way, I said give me a beer and you'd better give me a
beer!". "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve
alcohol
to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a
coke." Enraged the bear growls even louder and roars, "I SAID GIVE ME A
BEER!" "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol
to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and ..." "I KNOW", the bear
screams, "I can have a seat and some peanuts and a coke, but I don't
*WANT"
a seat and some peanuts and a coke, I want a beer and if you don't give me
a
beer I'm going to walk over there and eat that woman!" he says, pointing
to
a boozy blonde draped over the end of the bar. "Sorry," the bartender
replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol..."
"AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!," the bear yowled as he headed for the blonde,
grabbed her in is arms, ripped her apart, and gobbled her down. "Now,"
the
bear screamed, "are you going to offer me a seat and peanuts and a coke,
or
are you going to give me my beer?" "Neither," the bartender rejoined
calmly, "now I'm going to ask you to leave. This establishment does not
allow drug users on the premises." "What?" asked the puzzled bear, "What
are you talking about, I'm not a drug user." "Well," replied the
bartender,
"that was a bar bitch you ate!"

ducking and running

Hugs,

CatNipped



I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.)
walks into a bar" jokes.

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me
a Martinus.
The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?"
The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one."

Theresa

Hang on, I just thought about this more. Isn't "us" the plural? Might be
wrong here.

Tweed

"Helen C Simmons" wrote in message
...

"mlbriggs" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote:


It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used to
do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema. MLB

Have to say, having had both an enema and colonic irrigation - colonic
irrigation is nothing like having an enema :-)

Cheers, helen s


I am interested to know what the difference is. As far as I know, both
involve water up the...let's say back passage and what's in there coming
out.

Tweed

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

Hang on, I just thought about this more. Isn't "us" the plural? Might be
wrong here.

Tweed

Nope, it's plural, as in 'Veni, vidi, vixi' - 'we came, we saw, we
conquered'.

However, in conjugating verbs in latin it's 'amo, amas, amat, amamus,
amantis, amant' - 'I love, you love, he/she/it loves, we love, you love,
they love'. So that may have caused the confusion, the "amamus", or they
love, plural.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

"Helen C Simmons" wrote in message
...

"mlbriggs" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote:


It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used
to
do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema. MLB

Have to say, having had both an enema and colonic irrigation - colonic
irrigation is nothing like having an enema :-)

Cheers, helen s


I am interested to know what the difference is. As far as I know, both
involve water up the...let's say back passage and what's in there coming
out.

Tweed

Me too, I don't understand why a colonic would not be just as gross and
uncomfortable (sometimes downright painful) than an enema!

Hugs,

CatNipped

in article , Helen C Simmons at
wrote on 2/5/05 6:26AM:


"mlbriggs" wrote in message
news
On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote:


It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used to
do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema. MLB

Have to say, having had both an enema and colonic irrigation - colonic
irrigation is nothing like having an enema :-)

Cheers, helen s


So what do they do?

Helen Miles wrote:
"Helen C Simmons" wrote in message


During the week I had my birthday present from Vernon :-) My
birthday was in December, but my present occurred this week.

I went to have my innards flushed. So if you are squeamish - do not
read on ;-)///

No offence, but that is one sh*tty present!!!

Helen m

ROTFL!
--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera)
A house is not a home, without a cat.