Mom is worried, need some Purrs (OT)

MaryL wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
Mom called me yesterday and said my dad is "not doing well".

I've already acknowledged he is in early stages of altzheimers.
He's a lymphoma survivor and has also had two surgeries for
blockages in his legs,
one of which didn't "take" so they did a vein graft from one leg and
rerouted the artery in the other one.

snip
Jill



The one type of "interference" I would recommend for you and your
siblings is to *insist* that your father have a complete medical
checkup. You can't simply assume that he has Alzheimer's unless he
has had that diagnosis (which is still based on an evaluation because
AFAIK there still is no "test" for Alzheimer's).

With all due respect... he's 81 years old and we know he is not as cognizant
as he used to be. He repeats himself constantly and forgets that he has
already told me things to the point where he'll call and tell me 3-5 times
over again.

However, there are
many other medical conditions that can cause similar problems, and
your reference to previous surgeries could be a indicator of some of
them (poor circulation, for example, or ischemic strokes).

Definitely poor circulation and possible small strokes, although he can
still get around but... he's using a cane after the surgery in his leg. Mom
had the same surgery 10-12 years ago and she's doing fine. Dad isn't. He
insisted she get out and walk around but he won't take the same advice for
himself.

he is checked to rule out the possibility of something that could be
treated or at least delayed.

He goes to the doctor once a month (mom drives him, thank goodness).

I know how hard this is. My father had triple bypass surgery when
that was still a "new" procedure but lived 25 years. Each trip to
the hospital was painful for all of us and reminded us of how short
life is.

MaryL

LOL! I'm sorry to laugh, but my boyfriend had quintuple bypass surgery in
2004. He's 59 years young (I'm 45). I hope John lasts another 25 years but
if he doesn't I'll blame myself for reasons which are best not discussed
here! EBG

Jill

wrote:
MaryL wrote:
The one type of "interference" I would recommend for you and your
siblings is to *insist* that your father have a complete medical
checkup. You can't simply assume that he has Alzheimer's unless he
has had that diagnosis (which is still based on an evaluation
because AFAIK there still is no "test" for Alzheimer's). However,
there are many other medical conditions that can cause similar
problems, and your reference to previous surgeries could be a
indicator of some of them (poor circulation, for example, or
ischemic strokes).

That is a good point, Mary. Especially when vascular problems are
already present in the legs, the carotid artery can become occluded
and
it really impairs the person's ability to think clearly. Symptoms are
a
lot like alzheimers.

Sherry

Mom had laser surgery to clear the blockage in her carotid artery about 6
months ago. For a long time the surgeons were afraid to operate for fear it
would cause the clot to break up and go into her brain and cause a stroke.
But they did it and it worked wonders and she's fine and dandy and pretty
spry at age 79.

Dad doesn't seem to have any blockages like that. He's just 'elt' (as my
Scottish grandmother used to say).

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
MaryL wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
Mom called me yesterday and said my dad is "not doing well".

I've already acknowledged he is in early stages of altzheimers.
He's a lymphoma survivor and has also had two surgeries for
blockages in his legs,
one of which didn't "take" so they did a vein graft from one leg and
rerouted the artery in the other one.

snip
Jill



The one type of "interference" I would recommend for you and your
siblings is to *insist* that your father have a complete medical
checkup. You can't simply assume that he has Alzheimer's unless he
has had that diagnosis (which is still based on an evaluation because
AFAIK there still is no "test" for Alzheimer's).

With all due respect... he's 81 years old and we know he is not as
cognizant
as he used to be. He repeats himself constantly and forgets that he has
already told me things to the point where he'll call and tell me 3-5 times
over again.


Yes, this is very common in the elderly. My mother is 89 and has lost a
great deal of cognition and short-term memory. However, she can describe in
great (and accurate) detail some events from many years ago. I really wasn't
trying to be obnoxious, although I get the impression from your reply that
it appeared that way to you. I simply know that there are some forms of
dementia and other illnesses of the elderly that can at least be allievated
somewhat, and many people are not aware of it.

However, there are
many other medical conditions that can cause similar problems, and
your reference to previous surgeries could be a indicator of some of
them (poor circulation, for example, or ischemic strokes).

Definitely poor circulation and possible small strokes, although he can
still get around but... he's using a cane after the surgery in his leg.
Mom
had the same surgery 10-12 years ago and she's doing fine. Dad isn't. He
insisted she get out and walk around but he won't take the same advice for
himself.

he is checked to rule out the possibility of something that could be
treated or at least delayed.

He goes to the doctor once a month (mom drives him, thank goodness).


That's good and answers my concern. I thought from your message that
nothing at all was being done, possibly because he wouldn't accept or
possibly because your mother was fatalistic about it.

I know how hard this is. My father had triple bypass surgery when
that was still a "new" procedure but lived 25 years. Each trip to
the hospital was painful for all of us and reminded us of how short
life is.

MaryL

LOL! I'm sorry to laugh, but my boyfriend had quintuple bypass surgery in
2004. He's 59 years young (I'm 45). I hope John lasts another 25 years
but
if he doesn't I'll blame myself for reasons which are best not discussed
here! EBG

Jill



The reason I mentioned 25 years is that my father had his bypass surgery
when it was literally in its "infancy." The surgery was performed by the
same medical team that originated it. At the time, they said they "hoped"
to be able to give him 5 years, but instead he lived 25 years and it was a
far better-quality 25 years than he had for a few years before the surgery.
My father was 52 when the first surgery was performed.

MaryL

Purrs and prayers everything goes well for everyone.
Lily & her mama
Jazz, RB

--

Irulan
from the stars we come
to the stars we return
from now until the end of time
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
Mom called me yesterday and said my dad is "not doing well".

I've already acknowledged he is in early stages of altzheimers. He's a
lymphoma survivor and has also had two surgeries for blockages in his
legs,
one of which didn't "take" so they did a vein graft from one leg and
rerouted the artery in the other one.

Mom said he hasn't left the house in 5 days. He just sits in bed,
reading.
Dad has always been very active. At the very least he'll get up and watch
the news and read a book while watching TV (and call me to fuss at me
about
my job situation). Mom says he doesn't even have the energy to do that.

She's worried about him. At the same time, I think she has resigned
herself
to the fact that she's going to be a widow sometime soon. When I told her
I
wished there was something I could do to help she said, "Jill, there's
nothing anyone can do." Fatalistic, if you get my drift.

Purrs please, for my dear old Dad... he's a pain in the ass but I know I'm
going to lose him soon. Purrs for my Mom, too, who has been married to
him
for over 50 years. But she's strong... she'll manage. I'll help her.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...


Purrs please, for my dear old Dad... he's a pain in the ass but I know I'm
going to lose him soon. Purrs for my Mom, too, who has been married to
him
for over 50 years. But she's strong... she'll manage. I'll help her.

Jill


Many vibes heading across the pond to your Dad.

helen s

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
Mom called me yesterday and said my dad is "not doing well".

I've already acknowledged he is in early stages of altzheimers. He's a
lymphoma survivor and has also had two surgeries for blockages in his
legs,
one of which didn't "take" so they did a vein graft from one leg and
rerouted the artery in the other one.

Mom said he hasn't left the house in 5 days. He just sits in bed,
reading.
Dad has always been very active. At the very least he'll get up and watch
the news and read a book while watching TV (and call me to fuss at me
about
my job situation). Mom says he doesn't even have the energy to do that.

Check with his doc that he hasn't got clinical depression. What you
describe is typical.

Tweed

Purrs on the way for your parents.
Ann

--
read Sam's blog at http://kittens-3.blogspot.com/
see pictures of Sam at http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ann791/my_photos

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
Mom called me yesterday and said my dad is "not doing well".

I've already acknowledged he is in early stages of altzheimers. He's a
lymphoma survivor and has also had two surgeries for blockages in his
legs,
one of which didn't "take" so they did a vein graft from one leg and
rerouted the artery in the other one.

Mom said he hasn't left the house in 5 days. He just sits in bed,
reading.
Dad has always been very active. At the very least he'll get up and watch
the news and read a book while watching TV (and call me to fuss at me
about
my job situation). Mom says he doesn't even have the energy to do that.

She's worried about him. At the same time, I think she has resigned
herself
to the fact that she's going to be a widow sometime soon. When I told her
I
wished there was something I could do to help she said, "Jill, there's
nothing anyone can do." Fatalistic, if you get my drift.

Purrs please, for my dear old Dad... he's a pain in the ass but I know I'm
going to lose him soon. Purrs for my Mom, too, who has been married to
him
for over 50 years. But she's strong... she'll manage. I'll help her.

Jill

Ah, Jill. I'm so sorry. It's hard to watch someone close to you who
has been active and interested in things become lethargic, depressed or
hurting. My mom has been in ICU for almost 2 weeks now, so I do
understand. She was independent and active and now just lays there
trailing wires and tubes. Prayers for your dad and for your mom...and
for you.

-PatM

On Sun, 20 Nov 2005 03:24:09 -0600, "jmcquown"
wrote:

Mom called me yesterday and said my dad is "not doing well".

I've already acknowledged he is in early stages of altzheimers. He's a
lymphoma survivor and has also had two surgeries for blockages in his legs,
one of which didn't "take" so they did a vein graft from one leg and
rerouted the artery in the other one.

Mom said he hasn't left the house in 5 days. He just sits in bed, reading.
Dad has always been very active. At the very least he'll get up and watch
the news and read a book while watching TV (and call me to fuss at me about
my job situation). Mom says he doesn't even have the energy to do that.

She's worried about him. At the same time, I think she has resigned herself
to the fact that she's going to be a widow sometime soon. When I told her I
wished there was something I could do to help she said, "Jill, there's
nothing anyone can do." Fatalistic, if you get my drift.

Purrs please, for my dear old Dad... he's a pain in the ass but I know I'm
going to lose him soon. Purrs for my Mom, too, who has been married to him
for over 50 years. But she's strong... she'll manage. I'll help her.

Jill

You got it, Jill. Purrs on the way for everyone in this difficult
situation.

Ginger-lyn

Home Pages:
http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/
http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats)
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb....mmer/index.htm (genealogy)
http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against
Animals in Movies Website)

On Sun, 20 Nov 2005 03:24:09 -0600, "jmcquown"
wrote:

Mom called me yesterday and said my dad is "not doing well".

I've already acknowledged he is in early stages of altzheimers. He's a
lymphoma survivor and has also had two surgeries for blockages in his legs,
one of which didn't "take" so they did a vein graft from one leg and
rerouted the artery in the other one.

Mom said he hasn't left the house in 5 days. He just sits in bed, reading.
Dad has always been very active. At the very least he'll get up and watch
the news and read a book while watching TV (and call me to fuss at me about
my job situation). Mom says he doesn't even have the energy to do that.

She's worried about him. At the same time, I think she has resigned herself
to the fact that she's going to be a widow sometime soon. When I told her I
wished there was something I could do to help she said, "Jill, there's
nothing anyone can do." Fatalistic, if you get my drift.

Purrs please, for my dear old Dad... he's a pain in the ass but I know I'm
going to lose him soon. Purrs for my Mom, too, who has been married to him
for over 50 years. But she's strong... she'll manage. I'll help her.

Jill

Mega purrs are on the way for your mom and dad. It's hard to watch a
loved one go down hill, and even harder to be as far away as you are
and get all of the news second hand. I take it he hasn't been seen by
a doctor?

Purrs and Hugs,

Nan and the furkids

A wise man talks because he has something to say;
a fool talks because he has to say something.