Weze hates TED!!

Dis iz turrible, turrible nooz! Iznt dere a catamerika police force -
dis souns like kittie abuse anna I'ze wood report dis to da authoritiez at
wonse! We kittiez haff da rite to gro soft anna fluffie!

There used to be, before you started meowing here. It was run by Patches
(RB) and Britches (??), who own Auntie Barber. Last I heard, I'm still a
detective in the Catmerica Police Department. Is there anything I can do to
help?

Anna da nekst time yourownself hasta see dis TED, wait till he's
squeezink your tummy anna pee all ober hisself! Meanwhile just
mew pitifully wheneffer you see your hoomanz!

If this turns out to be serious, we could always get Justicat Gretchen Marie
involved.

Capt. Midnight DOC
The Good Luck Black Cat
2nd Detective & Lieutenant
Catmerica Police Department

I memfur finking it was oberkill when dey blew up a vet in filly,
'till Onyx told me it was really a building. Still, TEDS are mean.
hmmmfff.. There's one in the paper saying Lillies is dangerous for
cats, hmm, my aunt the manx is named Lilly and I say TEDS is much more
dangerous...
Snickers

dsh-diva wrote in message ws.com...
Mewomie got owt owr Karree bokkses and we nu dat we were in
trouble. She took uss tu TED!!! Dat meen old *%#^$ shinnded a lite
in owr iz and skweezed owr tummies, lukked in owr eers and den ......
she sed dat we wuz FAT!!! We hates her!!! Xena skratched Meowmie just
to sho her hooz da boss and den we sulked alla da way home. Now der
is less fuds in owr dishes, and we don't get powncees ennymore!! How
kan we stop dis turriful treetment?
Callisto

ChildFree23 wrote:
Dis iz turrible, turrible nooz! Iznt dere a catamerika police
force - dis souns like kittie abuse anna I'ze wood report dis to da
authoritiez at wonse! We kittiez haff da rite to gro soft anna
fluffie!

There used to be, before you started meowing here. It was run by
Patches (RB) and Britches (??), who own Auntie Barber. Last I
heard, I'm still a detective in the Catmerica Police Department. Is
there anything I can do to help?

Yes, dere iz, Lootenenat Detektiff! Xena anna Callisto haz been deprifed
of fud by a mean anna efil TED who haz confinsed dere meowmie to giff dem
less fuds. Dis souns illegal to myownself.

Do you haff a SWAT team? I'z wuz tinkin dat maybe yourownself could
organize a kitty-ninja-swat team to gather intelligence about dis TED anna
wait fur dis TED to eat hiz dinner. Wen hez haff-way thru eatin, da
kitty-ninja-swat-team burstz in, anna takez all ov da fuds from his table
anna disappear quick, so dat hez hungry anna lukin atta empty plate! Den
he'zl no what a terrible ting dis iz!

If this turns out to be serious, we could always get Justicat
Gretchen Marie involved.

Youze may needz to! Don we'ze haff a konstitutional rite to grow soft
anna fluffie?

Fangu furry much, Capyain!
--
Purrs,

Mlle. Anaïs

anais+at+electric-ink+dot+com

'fuse ta eat, Trudi, sympathizin
dsh-diva wrote in message
s.com...
Mewomie got owt owr Karree bokkses and we nu dat we were in
trouble. She took uss tu TED!!! Dat meen old *%#^$ shinnded a lite
in owr iz and skweezed owr tummies, lukked in owr eers and den ......
she sed dat we wuz FAT!!! We hates her!!! Xena skratched Meowmie just
to sho her hooz da boss and den we sulked alla da way home. Now der
is less fuds in owr dishes, and we don't get powncees ennymore!! How
kan we stop dis turriful treetment?
Callisto

excellent plan, Miss Violette, taking notes
Amelia T Cat wrote in message
...
Mewomie got owt owr Karree bokkses and we nu dat we were in
trouble. She took uss tu TED!!! Dat meen old *%#^$ shinnded a lite
in owr iz and skweezed owr tummies, lukked in owr eers and den ......
she sed dat we wuz FAT!!! We hates her!!! Xena skratched Meowmie just
to sho her hooz da boss and den we sulked alla da way home. Now der
is less fuds in owr dishes, and we don't get powncees ennymore!! How
kan we stop dis turriful treetment?
Callisto

Here's what I would advise - empty your food dishes, then wait for your
hoomins to be somewhere close to your dishes. When are in the general
vicinity, sit in front of your dish, meow your saddest meow, and when
they look your way paw at your empty dish. Then, when they refuse to
give you more, roll your eyes up in your head and fall down as if you
just don't have the strength to go on.

We HAVE to find a way to spoil the plans of misguided hoomins who think
we need to eat less!

Amelia T Cat
Who is fluffy, not fat!
(even though she is a short-hair)

Hey, Allegra cuuld trainz some of uscats dat wantsa be restlerz ta do dis
her swatz teamz, Tiger, thinkin ahead
Mlle. Anaïs wrote in message
...
ChildFree23 wrote:
Dis iz turrible, turrible nooz! Iznt dere a catamerika police
force - dis souns like kittie abuse anna I'ze wood report dis to da
authoritiez at wonse! We kittiez haff da rite to gro soft anna
fluffie!

There used to be, before you started meowing here. It was run by
Patches (RB) and Britches (??), who own Auntie Barber. Last I
heard, I'm still a detective in the Catmerica Police Department. Is
there anything I can do to help?

Yes, dere iz, Lootenenat Detektiff! Xena anna Callisto haz been
deprifed
of fud by a mean anna efil TED who haz confinsed dere meowmie to giff dem
less fuds. Dis souns illegal to myownself.

Do you haff a SWAT team? I'z wuz tinkin dat maybe yourownself could
organize a kitty-ninja-swat team to gather intelligence about dis TED anna
wait fur dis TED to eat hiz dinner. Wen hez haff-way thru eatin, da
kitty-ninja-swat-team burstz in, anna takez all ov da fuds from his table
anna disappear quick, so dat hez hungry anna lukin atta empty plate! Den
he'zl no what a terrible ting dis iz!

If this turns out to be serious, we could always get Justicat
Gretchen Marie involved.

Youze may needz to! Don we'ze haff a konstitutional rite to grow soft
anna fluffie?

Fangu furry much, Capyain!
--
Purrs,

Mlle. Anaïs

anais+at+electric-ink+dot+com

Yes, dere iz, Lootenenat Detektiff! Xena anna Callisto haz been deprifed
of fud by a mean anna efil TED who haz confinsed dere meowmie to giff dem
less fuds. Dis souns illegal to myownself.

Do you haff a SWAT team? I'z wuz tinkin dat maybe yourownself could
organize a kitty-ninja-swat team to gather intelligence about dis TED anna
wait fur dis TED to eat hiz dinner. Wen hez haff-way thru eatin, da
kitty-ninja-swat-team burstz in, anna takez all ov da fuds from his table
anna disappear quick, so dat hez hungry anna lukin atta empty plate! Den
he'zl no what a terrible ting dis iz!

If this turns out to be serious, we could always get Justicat
Gretchen Marie involved.

Youze may needz to! Don we'ze haff a konstitutional rite to grow soft
anna fluffie?

Fangu furry much, Capyain!

Fangu all for da furry fine support! I wuld like to joyn da
Catamerika SWAT team. Ize gudgud at swatting fings.
When duz da trayning start?
Xena

Dis iz turrible, turrible nooz! Iznt dere a catamerika police
force - dis souns like kittie abuse anna I'ze wood report dis to da
authoritiez at wonse! We kittiez haff da rite to gro soft anna
fluffie!

There used to be, before you started meowing here. It was run by
Patches (RB) and Britches (??), who own Auntie Barber. Last I
heard, I'm still a detective in the Catmerica Police Department. Is
there anything I can do to help?

Yes, dere iz, Lootenenat Detektiff! Xena anna Callisto haz been
deprifed
of fud by a mean anna efil TED who haz confinsed dere meowmie to giff dem
less fuds. Dis souns illegal to myownself.

Going on any kind of diet without kitty permission is most certainly against
the law. Fangu for reporting this, Anais.

Do you haff a SWAT team? I'z wuz tinkin dat maybe yourownself could
organize a kitty-ninja-swat team to gather intelligence about dis TED anna
wait fur dis TED to eat hiz dinner. Wen hez haff-way thru eatin, da
kitty-ninja-swat-team burstz in, anna takez all ov da fuds from his table
anna disappear quick, so dat hez hungry anna lukin atta empty plate! Den
he'zl no what a terrible ting dis iz!

I think so, but I don't rememfur. Does anykitty from the CPD rememfur is
Patches (RB) and Britches put together a swat team?

If this turns out to be serious, we could always get Justicat
Gretchen Marie involved.

Youze may needz to! Don we'ze haff a konstitutional rite to grow soft
anna fluffie?

That's for Justicat Gretchen Marie to decide. I'ze just an officer on the
local level.

Capt. Midnight DOC