Advice please

On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 16:56:08 -0500, ".oO rach Oo."
wrote:


She then said that she was just going to open the door and let her go. I
lost it. I said that when I was willing to take the cat and have her kids
over any time, why on earth would she be so stupid as to throw away a
DECLAWED kitty? She then said she was just kidding and how I should know she
wouldn't do that so I don't know what to think. I want the cat out of there
but if she says no then how can I prove to the human society that there is a
reason to take the cat out of the home??


Get a small digital recorder, and record your conversations with her.
Then, you may have something to get them interested. It can't be used
legally against her, but it would at least show the humane society
that she is saying these things.

It sounds to me like she is really trying to upset you, or she is
completey clueless.


--
Meghan & the Zoo Crew
Equine and Pet Photography
http://www.zoocrewphoto.com

Believe me, the cat carrier is ready. I will follow your advice and that of
another poster that suggested I take it for a few days as a break to her and
see what happens.

This just gets me thinking of other cats in similar or worse situations. My
husband says I can't adopt all the cats in the world, but I would love to.

--
..oO rach Oo.


"Karen" wrote in message
...
Jeez. This woman is definitely not right in her head. SHe may *say* she is
teasing but it sounds like she really wants to do these things. Boy, I
don't
know how you can do anything. But I guess my tactic would be that every
day
(you said you work together right?) I would just ask her politely if I
could
take that kitty off of her hands. One day, I bet you anything she will
bite
and when that happens, do not stop. Just follow her home THAT night and
collect the cat.


".oO rach Oo." wrote in message
.. .
I spoke to her today and told her we would be happy to take the kitty.
She
seemed hesitant and then said that when she said "threw her down the
stairs"
I took it to literally. She said she just set it down in the basement. I
told her that if she couldn't handle the cat to just give it to us... we
will manage and get them all to get along.

She then said that she was just going to open the door and let her go. I
lost it. I said that when I was willing to take the cat and have her kids
over any time, why on earth would she be so stupid as to throw away a
DECLAWED kitty? She then said she was just kidding and how I should know
she
wouldn't do that so I don't know what to think. I want the cat out of
there
but if she says no then how can I prove to the human society that there
is
a
reason to take the cat out of the home??

Both my cats are unrelated and love each other like sisters so wouldn't
that
mean they would adapt easier to a new addition? I think they would be
fine.

I will keep you all updated on this situation.

Thank you all so much for your help and advice.

--
.oO rach Oo.


"melizabeth" wrote in message
...

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
".oO rach Oo." wrote in
message
. ..
I have a good friend that adopted a kitten a few months ago. My
friend
has
two young children and the cat is amazing with them. The kids love
the
cat.

Things started bothering me when she had the cat declawed. I had
begged
her not to do it and bought her clippers, suggested soft paws. One
day
I
was over and the cat was limping around and sure enough, it had been
declawed.

Lately, she has been complaining that that Kitty has been going into
the
one year old's room and waking her up. I asked did she close the
door
properly and apparently she says the cat gets in anyway. I suggested
a
screen door (it would keep her toddler out too) but she won't go for
it.
Today she told me she was so angry at the cat last night, she threw
it
down a set of 5 steps. I asked her if she was ****ing crazy and she
informed me it had landed on it's feet. I could frankly care less if
it
landed on it's feet singing "dixie".

We have two cats already here and the youngest especially is very
jealous
of anyone or anything that takes my attention or pays attention to
me.
I
want to tell my friend I will take the cat but I also don't want my
cats
to fret or be upset. We live in a small apartment and Kitty is used
to
a
nice sized house. Should I introduce them slowly and see how it
goes?
If
it doesn't go well, I couldn't send it off to a shelter. My husband
says
that our current cats should be our priority.

If the cat stays with it's family, are there any other suggestions
as
to
keeping the cat out of the baby's room other than a screen door? My
friend
is normally a very kind person but she has a temper and I don't want
to
see her just take the cat to a shelter herself.

Sorry about the rambling but I am really wanting more options.

--
.oO rach Oo.

Like others here, I say get the cat out of there now. Then report her
to
the humane society and Child Protective Services (even if you don't
think
there is child abuse going on right now, it is a known fact that a
person
who will abuse a helpless animal will also abuse a helpless child, so
those
children need help!!). Please don't allow either the cat *OR* her
children
to be without an advocate (you) to help them. Even if CPS doesn't
find
any
active abuse they can keep an eye on the situation and hopefully keep
any
abuse from happening. Believe me, anyone who would mutilate a cat has
no
empathy, and you *NEED* empathy when rearing children!

Hugs,

CatNipped

I am 100% behind CatNipped's post. I think getting the cat out of
there
is
imperative. In addition, to reporting her to CPS (its anonymous), I
would
keep an eye on the kids to make sure they are okay. If you choose to
report
to CPS (I strongly urge you to), she may not know that it was you (who
knows
who else she has told about the kitten), and you can still have contact
with
the children.

Good luck!

Could you post a follow up on the situation? I'm concerned.

No, you can't adopt all cats, but it sure sounds like this one is in a
precarious position. You can certainly act as a foster (although, your cats
would probably get on with it eventually). I will be very curious, if you
are persistant in asking and polite about it, if she won't give in, because
she certainly does not sound like she really wants this cat. You may even
have to offer a bit of monetary trade for the cat. Let us know.

".oO rach Oo." wrote in message
. ..
Believe me, the cat carrier is ready. I will follow your advice and that
of
another poster that suggested I take it for a few days as a break to her
and
see what happens.

This just gets me thinking of other cats in similar or worse situations.
My
husband says I can't adopt all the cats in the world, but I would love to.

--
.oO rach Oo.


"Karen" wrote in message
...
Jeez. This woman is definitely not right in her head. SHe may *say* she
is
teasing but it sounds like she really wants to do these things. Boy, I
don't
know how you can do anything. But I guess my tactic would be that every
day
(you said you work together right?) I would just ask her politely if I
could
take that kitty off of her hands. One day, I bet you anything she will
bite
and when that happens, do not stop. Just follow her home THAT night and
collect the cat.


".oO rach Oo." wrote in
message
.. .
I spoke to her today and told her we would be happy to take the kitty.
She
seemed hesitant and then said that when she said "threw her down the
stairs"
I took it to literally. She said she just set it down in the basement.
I
told her that if she couldn't handle the cat to just give it to us...
we
will manage and get them all to get along.

She then said that she was just going to open the door and let her go.
I
lost it. I said that when I was willing to take the cat and have her
kids
over any time, why on earth would she be so stupid as to throw away a
DECLAWED kitty? She then said she was just kidding and how I should
know
she
wouldn't do that so I don't know what to think. I want the cat out of
there
but if she says no then how can I prove to the human society that there
is
a
reason to take the cat out of the home??

Both my cats are unrelated and love each other like sisters so wouldn't
that
mean they would adapt easier to a new addition? I think they would be
fine.

I will keep you all updated on this situation.

Thank you all so much for your help and advice.

--
.oO rach Oo.


"melizabeth" wrote in message
...

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
".oO rach Oo." wrote in
message
. ..
I have a good friend that adopted a kitten a few months ago. My
friend
has
two young children and the cat is amazing with them. The kids love
the
cat.

Things started bothering me when she had the cat declawed. I had
begged
her not to do it and bought her clippers, suggested soft paws. One
day
I
was over and the cat was limping around and sure enough, it had
been
declawed.

Lately, she has been complaining that that Kitty has been going
into
the
one year old's room and waking her up. I asked did she close the
door
properly and apparently she says the cat gets in anyway. I
suggested
a
screen door (it would keep her toddler out too) but she won't go
for
it.
Today she told me she was so angry at the cat last night, she
threw
it
down a set of 5 steps. I asked her if she was ****ing crazy and
she
informed me it had landed on it's feet. I could frankly care less
if
it
landed on it's feet singing "dixie".

We have two cats already here and the youngest especially is very
jealous
of anyone or anything that takes my attention or pays attention to
me.
I
want to tell my friend I will take the cat but I also don't want
my
cats
to fret or be upset. We live in a small apartment and Kitty is
used
to
a
nice sized house. Should I introduce them slowly and see how it
goes?
If
it doesn't go well, I couldn't send it off to a shelter. My
husband
says
that our current cats should be our priority.

If the cat stays with it's family, are there any other suggestions
as
to
keeping the cat out of the baby's room other than a screen door?
My
friend
is normally a very kind person but she has a temper and I don't
want
to
see her just take the cat to a shelter herself.

Sorry about the rambling but I am really wanting more options.

--
.oO rach Oo.

Like others here, I say get the cat out of there now. Then report
her
to
the humane society and Child Protective Services (even if you don't
think
there is child abuse going on right now, it is a known fact that a
person
who will abuse a helpless animal will also abuse a helpless child,
so
those
children need help!!). Please don't allow either the cat *OR* her
children
to be without an advocate (you) to help them. Even if CPS doesn't
find
any
active abuse they can keep an eye on the situation and hopefully
keep
any
abuse from happening. Believe me, anyone who would mutilate a cat
has
no
empathy, and you *NEED* empathy when rearing children!

Hugs,

CatNipped

I am 100% behind CatNipped's post. I think getting the cat out of
there
is
imperative. In addition, to reporting her to CPS (its anonymous), I
would
keep an eye on the kids to make sure they are okay. If you choose to
report
to CPS (I strongly urge you to), she may not know that it was you
(who
knows
who else she has told about the kitten), and you can still have
contact
with
the children.

Good luck!

Could you post a follow up on the situation? I'm concerned.

On 2005-03-25, equalizer penned:
On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:35:46 -0700, "Monique Y. Mudama"
wrote:

On 2005-03-24, equalizer penned:

I would say get the cat out of there. Be very gracious and friendly about
it. Once the cat's out of there, let her know that you've told this story
on the Internet, and that she now in effect has thousands of eyes on her
and that her behavior is in the open. Then, I'd be worried about what she
might do to her kids. An anonymous tip to DSS might be in order. They're
required to check things out. Just mention that she's a parent and told
you that she flung one of the small dependents living under her care down
some stairs.


I disagree here. "small dependent" implies that it was a human child. If
there's no evidence of that, using that phrasing is wrong.


I disagree. The kitten is just that -- a small dependent. It's also been
proven that those with a disposition towards mistreating animals are more
likely to go on and do the same things to humans. So, that connections being
in place, she telling the child welfare the above is accurate. How they
interpret it is up to them.


I suppose you claim your cats on your income tax forms as "dependents," too
....

Because there's a known trend of animal abuse - child abuse, you shouldn't
need to exaggerate to get child welfare to pay attention.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

"Meghan Noecker" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 16:56:08 -0500, ".oO rach Oo."
wrote:


She then said that she was just going to open the door and let her go. I
lost it. I said that when I was willing to take the cat and have her kids
over any time, why on earth would she be so stupid as to throw away a
DECLAWED kitty? She then said she was just kidding and how I should know
she
wouldn't do that so I don't know what to think. I want the cat out of
there
but if she says no then how can I prove to the human society that there
is a
reason to take the cat out of the home??


Get a small digital recorder, and record your conversations with her.
Then, you may have something to get them interested. It can't be used
legally against her, but it would at least show the humane society
that she is saying these things.


Now this is a great idea. I have a non-digital recorder the
size of maybe 2 cigarette packs that has a voice-controlled
microphone. It cost maybe 40 bucks at Radioshack a few
years ago and is soundless. Even it could be slipped into
a shoulder bag to record this piece of &%$#.

On 2005-03-25, Mary penned:

"Meghan Noecker" wrote in message
...

Get a small digital recorder, and record your conversations with her.
Then, you may have something to get them interested. It can't be used
legally against her, but it would at least show the humane society that she
is saying these things.


Now this is a great idea. I have a non-digital recorder the size of maybe 2
cigarette packs that has a voice-controlled microphone. It cost maybe 40
bucks at Radioshack a few years ago and is soundless. Even it could be
slipped into a shoulder bag to record this piece of &%$#.


I seem to remember after the whole Monica Lewinski things that some laws were
changed such that not only could unauthorized recordings not be used as part
of prosecution, but recording people without their consent was also a crime.
I may be wrong, but it's best to check this sort of thing out before
proceeding. This may just have been in the DC area.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

On Fri, 25 Mar 2005 13:02:01 -0500, "Mary" wrote:


Get a small digital recorder, and record your conversations with her.
Then, you may have something to get them interested. It can't be used
legally against her, but it would at least show the humane society
that she is saying these things.


Now this is a great idea. I have a non-digital recorder the
size of maybe 2 cigarette packs that has a voice-controlled
microphone. It cost maybe 40 bucks at Radioshack a few
years ago and is soundless. Even it could be slipped into
a shoulder bag to record this piece of &%$#.


I have a bad boss at work, so I have been carrying a recorder now for
about 6 months. It fits in my apron pocket, down out of view. It has a
small mike on a wire, and I have the mike attached to the top of my
poket, just inside. It makes no sound, and it can record up to 8 hours
without having to worry about flipping or changing a tape. When I get
something important, such as my boss making a flippant comment about
another coworker, talking about breaking rules, or when I was called
into a meeting; I just record it off onto a regular cassette tape for
longterm storage.

I was called into the office 2 days after I bought the recorder. I had
reported several heath violations, and I knew I would be in for an
unhappy meeting. I was in the office for over an hour with my
department manager and the store manager. The department manager is
the main problem, but she is the store manager's favorite employee,
brought over from his old store. So, he backs her up on everything. I
was so glad I had a digital recorder. It recorded the whole thing,
over an hour and a half.

I may never use it for anything, but I do have a record of everything
said, just in case I ever need it. A year before, in a similar
meeting, I was threatened with morning shifts I complained. I am a
severe night owl, and I had worked evening shifts for the past 14
years. If only I had recorded that meeting, I could have taken it to
the union and actually proved a case of harrassment and threats.

Also, I was able to listen to it again that night, and frankly, I was
shocked at how brave and outspoken I was. I am usually very quiet when
trapped alone like that, but I brought up a lot of issues, and held my
ground well. I played it for my coworker friend, who has been
harrassed even more than me, and we laughed ourselves silly. You could
hear my boss when she was angry and sputtering for words. And the
store manager actually agreed with me on a couple issues.

I just wish I had remembered to change the batteries yesterday. The
safety coordinator was in, and one of our big issues is wearing teh
safety gloves when using a knife or cleaning a slicer. My manager
asked me where the lady was, and I told her she had left. Her response
was, "good, I don't want to wear the gloves." She then proceeded to
clean the slicer without the gloves.That would have been a great
comment to have recorded. By itself, no big deal, but a bunch of
those, well documented, and I would have something worthwhile to
present.

Document your case as best you can. Write down the dates and times,
and a review of the conversation. Record anything you can in the
future, and keep it all documented. The tape won't hold up in court,
though the written reports should be good. But the tapes will prove to
the investigators that the case is worth going after. It proves that
you are telling teh truth and not just making something up.


--
Meghan & the Zoo Crew
Equine and Pet Photography
http://www.zoocrewphoto.com

On Fri, 25 Mar 2005 11:40:37 -0700, "Monique Y. Mudama"
wrote:

On 2005-03-25, Mary penned:

"Meghan Noecker" wrote in message
...

Get a small digital recorder, and record your conversations with her.
Then, you may have something to get them interested. It can't be used
legally against her, but it would at least show the humane society that she
is saying these things.


Now this is a great idea. I have a non-digital recorder the size of maybe 2
cigarette packs that has a voice-controlled microphone. It cost maybe 40
bucks at Radioshack a few years ago and is soundless. Even it could be
slipped into a shoulder bag to record this piece of &%$#.


I seem to remember after the whole Monica Lewinski things that some laws were
changed such that not only could unauthorized recordings not be used as part
of prosecution, but recording people without their consent was also a crime.
I may be wrong, but it's best to check this sort of thing out before
proceeding. This may just have been in the DC area.


The recordings can't be used legally, but they are not illegal to do.

Just imagine all those hidden camera stories done on the news. Those
are recordings made without consent.

In my case, I told both the store security, and the union, and they
said I was fine in doing it, that it was actually a good idea to
protect myself. I also took my digital camera to work and photographed
many of the violations on a regular basis.


--
Meghan & the Zoo Crew
Equine and Pet Photography
http://www.zoocrewphoto.com

"Meghan Noecker" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 25 Mar 2005 13:02:01 -0500, "Mary" wrote:


Get a small digital recorder, and record your conversations with her.
Then, you may have something to get them interested. It can't be used
legally against her, but it would at least show the humane society
that she is saying these things.


Now this is a great idea. I have a non-digital recorder the
size of maybe 2 cigarette packs that has a voice-controlled
microphone. It cost maybe 40 bucks at Radioshack a few
years ago and is soundless. Even it could be slipped into
a shoulder bag to record this piece of &%$#.


I have a bad boss at work, so I have been carrying a recorder now for
about 6 months.

Hee! You go, Meghan!!

It fits in my apron pocket, down out of view. It has a
small mike on a wire, and I have the mike attached to the top of my
poket, just inside. It makes no sound, and it can record up to 8 hours
without having to worry about flipping or changing a tape. When I get
something important, such as my boss making a flippant comment about
another coworker, talking about breaking rules, or when I was called
into a meeting; I just record it off onto a regular cassette tape for
longterm storage.

I was called into the office 2 days after I bought the recorder. I had
reported several heath violations, and I knew I would be in for an
unhappy meeting. I was in the office for over an hour with my
department manager and the store manager. The department manager is
the main problem, but she is the store manager's favorite employee,
brought over from his old store. So, he backs her up on everything. I
was so glad I had a digital recorder. It recorded the whole thing,
over an hour and a half.

I may never use it for anything, but I do have a record of everything
said, just in case I ever need it. A year before, in a similar
meeting, I was threatened with morning shifts I complained. I am a
severe night owl, and I had worked evening shifts for the past 14
years. If only I had recorded that meeting, I could have taken it to
the union and actually proved a case of harrassment and threats.

Also, I was able to listen to it again that night, and frankly, I was
shocked at how brave and outspoken I was. I am usually very quiet when
trapped alone like that, but I brought up a lot of issues, and held my
ground well. I played it for my coworker friend, who has been
harrassed even more than me, and we laughed ourselves silly. You could
hear my boss when she was angry and sputtering for words. And the
store manager actually agreed with me on a couple issues.

I just wish I had remembered to change the batteries yesterday. The
safety coordinator was in, and one of our big issues is wearing teh
safety gloves when using a knife or cleaning a slicer. My manager
asked me where the lady was, and I told her she had left. Her response
was, "good, I don't want to wear the gloves." She then proceeded to
clean the slicer without the gloves.That would have been a great
comment to have recorded. By itself, no big deal, but a bunch of
those, well documented, and I would have something worthwhile to
present.

Document your case as best you can. Write down the dates and times,
and a review of the conversation. Record anything you can in the
future, and keep it all documented. The tape won't hold up in court,
though the written reports should be good. But the tapes will prove to
the investigators that the case is worth going after. It proves that
you are telling teh truth and not just making something up.


--

I love people who stand up for themselves.

"Meghan Noecker" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 25 Mar 2005 11:40:37 -0700, "Monique Y. Mudama"
wrote:

On 2005-03-25, Mary penned:

"Meghan Noecker" wrote in message
...

Get a small digital recorder, and record your conversations with her.
Then, you may have something to get them interested. It can't be used
legally against her, but it would at least show the humane society
that she
is saying these things.


Now this is a great idea. I have a non-digital recorder the size of
maybe 2
cigarette packs that has a voice-controlled microphone. It cost maybe
40
bucks at Radioshack a few years ago and is soundless. Even it could be
slipped into a shoulder bag to record this piece of &%$#.


I seem to remember after the whole Monica Lewinski things that some laws
were
changed such that not only could unauthorized recordings not be used as
part
of prosecution, but recording people without their consent was also a
crime.
I may be wrong, but it's best to check this sort of thing out before
proceeding. This may just have been in the DC area.


The recordings can't be used legally, but they are not illegal to do.

Just imagine all those hidden camera stories done on the news. Those
are recordings made without consent.

In my case, I told both the store security, and the union, and they
said I was fine in doing it, that it was actually a good idea to
protect myself. I also took my digital camera to work and photographed
many of the violations on a regular basis.



This is great to know.