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#1
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside
for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a common theme here. Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are givers. Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to get all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I have formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF) they are all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so to speak) when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection, love, friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden, I wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them. It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes Lori's story all too familiar to many of us.. Yowie |
#2
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
Yowie wrote:
Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a common theme here. Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are givers. Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to get all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I have formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF) they are all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so to speak) when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection, love, friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden, I wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them. It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes Lori's story all too familiar to many of us.. Yowie I loved your analysis. Could it be because we are "sucker bait"? I remember once, long ago, someone called me a compulsive giver -- that someone was always there to take. Best wishes. MLB |
#3
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
"Yowie" wrote in message ... Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a common theme here. Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are givers. Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to get all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I have formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF) they are all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so to speak) when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection, love, friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden, I wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them. It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes Lori's story all too familiar to many of us.. Yowie Beautifully put. I'd like to add one more thing. It's never wrong to be kind, so never feel guilty or mad at yourself for that. -- Theresa and Dante Stinky Forever: http://pets.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh |
#4
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence
here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes Lori's story all too familiar to many of us.. Yowie I loved your analysis. *Could it be because we are "sucker bait"? I remember once, long ago, someone called me a compulsive giver -- that someone was always there to take. Best wishes. * MLB Someone once explained me as 'a person who gives 120%, but only gets back 80%. Yeah. That's me. Jane - owned and operated by the Princess Rita. |
#5
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
On Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:24:25 +1000, "Yowie"
wrote: Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a common theme here. Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are givers. I think that's pretty much true... most of us are here because we have a lot of love to give. And who needs it more than the ones who appear superficially unlovable? Being good-hearted souls we assume that other people are like us too, and a lot of them are - but there are also a lot of people who will take advantage of that. And the biggest problem is telling the difference between them! |
#6
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
Yowie wrote: Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help whether it be feline or human. I'm afraid my "giving" attitude mostly stops with the feline (and canine) waifs - I have a rather jaundiced opinion of most of the adult human variety! |
#7
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
one of the things i have figured out is that by taking in the broken and
stray, those we take in are happy to take the support, and we get kicked when we appear weak, i am not sure if this is revenge for being able to give, and they are not, or if it is revenge for appearing strong when they feel weak, or if it is fear that someone who is caring for them might in fact need help and so their selfish nature makes them strike out in fear because they think their cushy postion is being threatened, Lee "Yowie" wrote in message ... Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a common theme here. Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are givers. Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to get all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I have formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF) they are all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so to speak) when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection, love, friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden, I wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them. It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes Lori's story all too familiar to many of us.. Yowie |
#8
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
Kajikit wrote:
most of us are here because we have a lot of love to give. And who needs it more than the ones who appear superficially unlovable? You're right about people wanting to take on "unlovable" kitties and other needy creatures - and maybe for some, human babies, too. But definitely not adult humans. I see no evidence of anyone taking on people who they see as unlovable. Joyce -- I think that most people, in the presence of true community, would be terrified. Because it's demanding and intolerant. It's harsh. It's cruel. For all of its kindness and generosity to those who belong, it's generally not very kind to those who do not. -- John Perry Barlow |
#9
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Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]
wrote in message ... Kajikit wrote: most of us are here because we have a lot of love to give. And who needs it more than the ones who appear superficially unlovable? You're right about people wanting to take on "unlovable" kitties and other needy creatures - and maybe for some, human babies, too. But definitely not adult humans. I see no evidence of anyone taking on people who they see as unlovable. Joyce Maybe not that they see as unlovable, but you really have to wonder with a lot of couples you see. What on earth brought them together or keeps them together. I see an awful lot of people with real losers in the way of 'significant others'. But when its humans we call it enabling. Jo |
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