I Think I Made A Mistake

Let me introduce the Players:
Bender - 5 year old spayed female (we have been together since she was 5
weeks old)
Callie Y - 5 year old spaye female Litter mate of Bender (been with me since
she was 10 months old - different story)
Bailey- 4 month old female- not yet spayed have had 1 week. Adopted from
Animal Control.

We have begun introducing Bailey to the "dymantic duo". First through glass
french doors, now with time out of the room- About 15 to 20 minutes each
time.
For the most part Callie Y has set Bailey in her place (she young so
sometimes she forgets)
Bender on the other had has no spine. She will not set Bailey straight on
whats what. She runs and hides from Bailey. After of course a full blown
yelling match. Bender is a 'special needs cat' and now I am afraid that
getting a kitten so young and vibrate will stress Bender out so much that
she will again start losing her hair. I am at a lose at what to do. I have
made a commitment to Bailey but shouldn't my first concern be Bender?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Kris

"Kris Croft" wrote in message
link.net...
Let me introduce the Players:
Bender - 5 year old spayed female (we have been together since she was 5
weeks old)
Callie Y - 5 year old spaye female Litter mate of Bender (been with me
since
she was 10 months old - different story)
Bailey- 4 month old female- not yet spayed have had 1 week. Adopted from
Animal Control.

We have begun introducing Bailey to the "dymantic duo". First through
glass
french doors, now with time out of the room- About 15 to 20 minutes each
time.
For the most part Callie Y has set Bailey in her place (she young so
sometimes she forgets)
Bender on the other had has no spine. She will not set Bailey straight on
whats what. She runs and hides from Bailey. After of course a full blown
yelling match. Bender is a 'special needs cat' and now I am afraid that
getting a kitten so young and vibrate will stress Bender out so much that
she will again start losing her hair. I am at a lose at what to do. I have
made a commitment to Bailey but shouldn't my first concern be Bender?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Kris


I think your biggest mistake is that you have tried to move much too fast.
You need to have a lot of patience and make the introductions much more
slowly. Here are some sites that provide information on bringing a new cat
into the household.
http://www.catcaresociety.org/intro.htm
http://www.ddfl.org/behavior/catintro.htm
http://www.cuhumane.org/topics/catcat.html
http://www.methuen-mspca.org/petcare/htm/catintro.htm
http://operationnoblefoster.org/catsanddog.htm
http://www.catsinternational.org/ (library of articles)

I have also prepared a fairly lengthy description of how I introduced Holly
(who previously was very aggressive toward any other cat) and Duffy. Send
private email to me if you would like to receive a copy.

MaryL

Kris Croft wrote:
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Get a Feliway diffuser (available on pet stores or over the internet)
and give them time.

--
Victor Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

in article , Victor Martinez at
wrote on 2/28/04 7:37 PM:

Kris Croft wrote:
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Get a Feliway diffuser (available on pet stores or over the internet)
and give them time.

I agree. Feliway has been really helpful with our looooong introduction
process. I've had Pearl 1.5 years now and for the most part all get along. I
think in the case of Bender, it will help relieve stress. Giving Bender a
very special place, too, where the kitten doesn't go will help her feel
safer. I think it will work, but it's only been a week. Take MaryL up on her
offer. She did a tremendously successful job.

Kakren

"Karen Chuplis" wrote in message
...

Take MaryL up on her
offer. She did a tremendously successful job.

Kakren


Thanks! That makes me feel great.

MaryL

I have no ideas unfortunately, but I do hope the kitties will learn to
accept each other soon.
Best wishes and purrs,
--
Polonca & Soncek

"Kris Croft" wrote in message
link.net...
Let me introduce the Players:
Bender - 5 year old spayed female (we have been together since she was 5
weeks old)
Callie Y - 5 year old spaye female Litter mate of Bender (been with me
since
she was 10 months old - different story)
Bailey- 4 month old female- not yet spayed have had 1 week. Adopted from
Animal Control.

We have begun introducing Bailey to the "dymantic duo". First through
glass
french doors, now with time out of the room- About 15 to 20 minutes each
time.
For the most part Callie Y has set Bailey in her place (she young so
sometimes she forgets)
Bender on the other had has no spine. She will not set Bailey straight on
whats what. She runs and hides from Bailey. After of course a full blown
yelling match. Bender is a 'special needs cat' and now I am afraid that
getting a kitten so young and vibrate will stress Bender out so much that
she will again start losing her hair. I am at a lose at what to do. I have
made a commitment to Bailey but shouldn't my first concern be Bender?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Kris

"Kris Croft" wrote in message
link.net...
Bender on the other had has no spine. She will not set Bailey straight
on
whats what. She runs and hides from Bailey. After of course a full blown
yelling match. Bender is a 'special needs cat' and now I am afraid that
getting a kitten so young and vibrate will stress Bender out so much that
she will again start losing her hair. I am at a lose at what to do. I have
made a commitment to Bailey but shouldn't my first concern be Bender?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Kris



Kris,

I tried to send the document you requested by email. I did receive your
request that I resend because your spam blocker did not recognize my
address. I resent and again received an automated reply that my message had
been redirected to the "suspect mail" box. I was asked to fill in some
information if I wanted you to determine whether to receive the mail. I
complied but used a phony last name because I do not include my real name in
newsgroups. If you did not receive the message, please try again.

Incidentally, you said that Bender is a "special needs" cat. In what way?
That term includes a wide variety of needs.

MaryL
(take out the litter to reply)

Photos of Duffy and Holly: 'o'
http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly)
http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in")

Incidentally, you said that Bender is a "special needs" cat. In what way?
That term includes a wide variety of needs.

MaryL
(take out the litter to reply)

Mary,
Bender is emotionally needy. That is the best way for me to describe her.
I got her very young (5 weeks old) she had been separated from her feral
mother. I loved her from the moment I saw her.
She has had anal gland problems, liver problems (low grade hepatitis), she
has spring time allergies, loses her fur when distressed (not yet this year)
she is very possive of me (she could care less about DH). She does not know
how to 'fight'.
Her idea of fighting is sitting real still and acting invisible.

Kris

"Kris Croft" wrote in message
link.net...


Incidentally, you said that Bender is a "special needs" cat. In what
way?
That term includes a wide variety of needs.

MaryL
(take out the litter to reply)

Mary,
Bender is emotionally needy. That is the best way for me to describe her.
I got her very young (5 weeks old) she had been separated from her feral
mother. I loved her from the moment I saw her.
She has had anal gland problems, liver problems (low grade hepatitis), she
has spring time allergies, loses her fur when distressed (not yet this
year)
she is very possive of me (she could care less about DH). She does not
know
how to 'fight'.
Her idea of fighting is sitting real still and acting invisible.

Kris



Ah, I see. I have a blind cat, and I was thinking of that as special needs.
Your cat actually has multiple health problems and is also needy. This
means that you should be especially careful to take things "slow and
cautious" in your introductions. However, I think the *first* thing you
need to do is to have Bailey spayed. Don't even try to bring the cats
together until this is done. Many cats go into heat by the 4th or 5th
month. If that happens, tom cats are going to suddenly show up, and then
Bender will *really* be stressed -- especially if she is used to going
outside (and I presume from your email that she does). I would suggest that
you make an appointment *immediately* to get Baily spayed and don't even try
to introduce the cats. After she is spayed, wait a considerable period of
time to let everything "settle down" before you start through the process
again.

When you do re-start the introductions, don't give Baily an opportunity to
attack Bender. Have something (such as a wand with feathers or rawhide
shoestrings) handy, and use that to redirect her attention if she starts to
attack. In other words, do *not* discipline her, but get her attention
focused on something else that is *fun* for her. Bender may eventually also
become interested in playing with whatever you use.

You mentioned that you got a Feliway diffuser. That's good, but I think you
need at least 3. Place them in the areas where Baily spends the most time.
One should be in "her" room.

Good luck. I hope this helps. Please keep us updated and let us know if we
can answer any other questions as they arise.

MaryL

Poor baby! I do hope everything turns out well for her.
Hugs for you for taking such good care of her,
--
Polonca & Soncek

"Kris Croft" wrote in message
link.net...
snipShe does not know
how to 'fight'.
Her idea of fighting is sitting real still and acting invisible.

Kris