[OT] Seek opinions about a disagreement

Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

I've always had some difficulty focusing on things, such as when
someone is talking, or at a group gathering, watching a movie, etc.
The more emotionally involved I am in what's being said, the easier
it is for me to focus. So if someone's talking to me about a
critical problem and needs support, I'm pretty attentive and
present. But my mind tends to wander sometimes during more casual
conversation. If my mind is wandering during a movie, it's usually
at the very beginning, before I care about the story or the characters.
Once I'm hooked, my mind is much more engaged.

This is not something I know how control. My mind wanders without
my realizing it's wandering. Even when I make a concerted effort
to stay attentive, I will suddenly catch myself thinking about
something else. This used to happen a lot at work meetings. I
know that's not unusual! But it also happens with friends, especially
in groups.

I've gotten crap about this my whole life. Teachers were always
chiding me for "dreaming", which I admit, I did a lot of. For most
of my adult life I didn't have a huge problem with it, but lately,
probably due to Menopausal Brain Fog [TM], it's a little worse. I
also have a much worse memory, and I forget a lot of recent details.
I've forgotten entire conversations. At some point I realized that
these memories weren't actually *gone*, but were just harder to
retrieve, and with the right prompts, I can get it all back.

This friend had a hard time with my memory thing. She got upset and
angry when I forgot things she'd told me. I can understand feeling
that way if there's no good reason for it, but I kept trying to
explain that it was happening in all aspects of my life and I couldn't
control it. She had this attitude that I should "do something about
it" (like what?), and got pretty judgemental of me for not developing
memory strategies. (Was I supposed to take notes of all our conversations?)
Once I realized I could remember most things if I just asked for a
refresher, it got a little better between us, but I'm still sensitive
about it due to the history of feeling blamed and judged.

Nowadays, if my mind wanders during a conversation (and I don't
catch myself at it so I can say, "sorry, my mind wandered, can you
repeat that?"), I will sometimes ask a question or make a comment
that shows I hadn't heard what she'd just said. And she always
says in a very pointed way, "I JUST TOLD you that!" It feels like
I'm being admonished. It just feels insensitive.

I do understand that it can be aggravating to have to repeat
yourself to someone frequently. Another friend of mine lives with
a hearing impaired guy and she is constantly having to repeat what
she says. I know I'd find that aggravating if I were in her shoes,
even knowing that it's not his fault.

Anyway, yesterday, I asked my friend to please stop making a big deal
out of the fact that she JUST TOLD me about it, because she knows
it's not my fault, and I try to be upfront if I notice I haven't
been listening for a few minutes. I understand that it can be
annoying for her, but I don't think she should take it out on me.
Call someone else and complain to them. Or find some other way to
express her stress to me, in a way that's clear she knows I can't
help it. The way she does it sounds like she doesn't really *believe*
I can't do anything about it - that she's not just annoyed with
the situation, she's annoyed with *me*.

So we're at an impasse - I feel like she should cut me more slack,
and she feels like she needs the "escape valve" of letting off steam
and showing me her annoyance, and has refused to change her responses.
That feels like she doesn't care about my feelings. How hard can it
be to act like she's frustrated by having to repeat things, but not
mad at me?

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!

--
Joyce

I will not sniff at my male human's feet after he takes his shoes off,
freeze my mouth open in disgust and then sniff my private parts to compare
odors. -- Cat Resolutions

On Saturday, March 3, 2012 9:50:01 PM UTC-7, Bastette wrote:
Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

I've always had some difficulty focusing on things, such as when
someone is talking, or at a group gathering, watching a movie, etc.
The more emotionally involved I am in what's being said, the easier
it is for me to focus. So if someone's talking to me about a
critical problem and needs support, I'm pretty attentive and
present. But my mind tends to wander sometimes during more casual
conversation. If my mind is wandering during a movie, it's usually
at the very beginning, before I care about the story or the characters.
Once I'm hooked, my mind is much more engaged.

This is not something I know how control. My mind wanders without
my realizing it's wandering. Even when I make a concerted effort
to stay attentive, I will suddenly catch myself thinking about
something else. This used to happen a lot at work meetings. I
know that's not unusual! But it also happens with friends, especially
in groups.

I've gotten crap about this my whole life. Teachers were always
chiding me for "dreaming", which I admit, I did a lot of. For most
of my adult life I didn't have a huge problem with it, but lately,
probably due to Menopausal Brain Fog [TM], it's a little worse. I
also have a much worse memory, and I forget a lot of recent details.
I've forgotten entire conversations. At some point I realized that
these memories weren't actually *gone*, but were just harder to
retrieve, and with the right prompts, I can get it all back.

This friend had a hard time with my memory thing. She got upset and
angry when I forgot things she'd told me. I can understand feeling
that way if there's no good reason for it, but I kept trying to
explain that it was happening in all aspects of my life and I couldn't
control it. She had this attitude that I should "do something about
it" (like what?), and got pretty judgemental of me for not developing
memory strategies. (Was I supposed to take notes of all our conversations?)
Once I realized I could remember most things if I just asked for a
refresher, it got a little better between us, but I'm still sensitive
about it due to the history of feeling blamed and judged.

Nowadays, if my mind wanders during a conversation (and I don't
catch myself at it so I can say, "sorry, my mind wandered, can you
repeat that?"), I will sometimes ask a question or make a comment
that shows I hadn't heard what she'd just said. And she always
says in a very pointed way, "I JUST TOLD you that!" It feels like
I'm being admonished. It just feels insensitive.

I do understand that it can be aggravating to have to repeat
yourself to someone frequently. Another friend of mine lives with
a hearing impaired guy and she is constantly having to repeat what
she says. I know I'd find that aggravating if I were in her shoes,
even knowing that it's not his fault.

Anyway, yesterday, I asked my friend to please stop making a big deal
out of the fact that she JUST TOLD me about it, because she knows
it's not my fault, and I try to be upfront if I notice I haven't
been listening for a few minutes. I understand that it can be
annoying for her, but I don't think she should take it out on me.
Call someone else and complain to them. Or find some other way to
express her stress to me, in a way that's clear she knows I can't
help it. The way she does it sounds like she doesn't really *believe*
I can't do anything about it - that she's not just annoyed with
the situation, she's annoyed with *me*.

So we're at an impasse - I feel like she should cut me more slack,
and she feels like she needs the "escape valve" of letting off steam
and showing me her annoyance, and has refused to change her responses.
That feels like she doesn't care about my feelings. How hard can it
be to act like she's frustrated by having to repeat things, but not
mad at me?

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!

Is this happening during phone calls? That's the impression I'm getting. Perhaps, if she read this, and understood that sometimes you just do *not* get emotionally invested in yest *another* problem she's having... Okay, bad idea.

For me... I'd say "brain fart" when she gets into her "I JUST SAID THAT" mode. Tends to make people laugh (because they dont' know what to make of it), and eases tension.

If she continues to berate you, then she isn't much of friend, is she? She knows you find it hurtful, she knows it bothers you, and yet she does it anyway.

My opinions only, not even worth the ether they printed on...


Smokie Darling (Annie)

"Bastette" wrote in message
...
Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

I've always had some difficulty focusing on things, such as when
someone is talking, or at a group gathering, watching a movie, etc.
The more emotionally involved I am in what's being said, the easier
it is for me to focus. So if someone's talking to me about a
critical problem and needs support, I'm pretty attentive and
present. But my mind tends to wander sometimes during more casual
conversation. If my mind is wandering during a movie, it's usually
at the very beginning, before I care about the story or the characters.
Once I'm hooked, my mind is much more engaged.

This is not something I know how control. My mind wanders without
my realizing it's wandering. Even when I make a concerted effort
to stay attentive, I will suddenly catch myself thinking about
something else. This used to happen a lot at work meetings. I
know that's not unusual! But it also happens with friends, especially
in groups.

I've gotten crap about this my whole life. Teachers were always
chiding me for "dreaming", which I admit, I did a lot of. For most
of my adult life I didn't have a huge problem with it, but lately,
probably due to Menopausal Brain Fog [TM], it's a little worse. I
also have a much worse memory, and I forget a lot of recent details.
I've forgotten entire conversations. At some point I realized that
these memories weren't actually *gone*, but were just harder to
retrieve, and with the right prompts, I can get it all back.

This friend had a hard time with my memory thing. She got upset and
angry when I forgot things she'd told me. I can understand feeling
that way if there's no good reason for it, but I kept trying to
explain that it was happening in all aspects of my life and I couldn't
control it. She had this attitude that I should "do something about
it" (like what?), and got pretty judgemental of me for not developing
memory strategies. (Was I supposed to take notes of all our
conversations?)
Once I realized I could remember most things if I just asked for a
refresher, it got a little better between us, but I'm still sensitive
about it due to the history of feeling blamed and judged.

Nowadays, if my mind wanders during a conversation (and I don't
catch myself at it so I can say, "sorry, my mind wandered, can you
repeat that?"), I will sometimes ask a question or make a comment
that shows I hadn't heard what she'd just said. And she always
says in a very pointed way, "I JUST TOLD you that!" It feels like
I'm being admonished. It just feels insensitive.

I do understand that it can be aggravating to have to repeat
yourself to someone frequently. Another friend of mine lives with
a hearing impaired guy and she is constantly having to repeat what
she says. I know I'd find that aggravating if I were in her shoes,
even knowing that it's not his fault.

Anyway, yesterday, I asked my friend to please stop making a big deal
out of the fact that she JUST TOLD me about it, because she knows
it's not my fault, and I try to be upfront if I notice I haven't
been listening for a few minutes. I understand that it can be
annoying for her, but I don't think she should take it out on me.
Call someone else and complain to them. Or find some other way to
express her stress to me, in a way that's clear she knows I can't
help it. The way she does it sounds like she doesn't really *believe*
I can't do anything about it - that she's not just annoyed with
the situation, she's annoyed with *me*.

So we're at an impasse - I feel like she should cut me more slack,
and she feels like she needs the "escape valve" of letting off steam
and showing me her annoyance, and has refused to change her responses.
That feels like she doesn't care about my feelings. How hard can it
be to act like she's frustrated by having to repeat things, but not
mad at me?

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!

--
Joyce

I will not sniff at my male human's feet after he takes his shoes off,
freeze my mouth open in disgust and then sniff my private parts to compare
odors. -- Cat Resolutions

Joyce on a medical note these are medical conditions that could be ADHD or
even early Alzheimer's did you ever get medical diagnosed

as for your friend not recognizing your problem (medical condition) sounds
like not much a friend time to walk away. It hurts but a friend is a
supportive even at your lowest

On 03/03/2012 09:50 PM, Bastette wrote:
Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

I've always had some difficulty focusing on things, such as when
someone is talking, or at a group gathering, watching a movie, etc.
The more emotionally involved I am in what's being said, the easier
it is for me to focus. So if someone's talking to me about a
critical problem and needs support, I'm pretty attentive and
present. But my mind tends to wander sometimes during more casual
conversation. If my mind is wandering during a movie, it's usually
at the very beginning, before I care about the story or the characters.
Once I'm hooked, my mind is much more engaged.

This is not something I know how control. My mind wanders without
my realizing it's wandering. Even when I make a concerted effort
to stay attentive, I will suddenly catch myself thinking about
something else. This used to happen a lot at work meetings. I
know that's not unusual! But it also happens with friends, especially
in groups.

I've gotten crap about this my whole life. Teachers were always
chiding me for "dreaming", which I admit, I did a lot of. For most
of my adult life I didn't have a huge problem with it, but lately,
probably due to Menopausal Brain Fog [TM], it's a little worse. I
also have a much worse memory, and I forget a lot of recent details.
I've forgotten entire conversations. At some point I realized that
these memories weren't actually *gone*, but were just harder to
retrieve, and with the right prompts, I can get it all back.

This friend had a hard time with my memory thing. She got upset and
angry when I forgot things she'd told me. I can understand feeling
that way if there's no good reason for it, but I kept trying to
explain that it was happening in all aspects of my life and I couldn't
control it. She had this attitude that I should "do something about
it" (like what?), and got pretty judgemental of me for not developing
memory strategies. (Was I supposed to take notes of all our conversations?)
Once I realized I could remember most things if I just asked for a
refresher, it got a little better between us, but I'm still sensitive
about it due to the history of feeling blamed and judged.

Nowadays, if my mind wanders during a conversation (and I don't
catch myself at it so I can say, "sorry, my mind wandered, can you
repeat that?"), I will sometimes ask a question or make a comment
that shows I hadn't heard what she'd just said. And she always
says in a very pointed way, "I JUST TOLD you that!" It feels like
I'm being admonished. It just feels insensitive.

I do understand that it can be aggravating to have to repeat
yourself to someone frequently. Another friend of mine lives with
a hearing impaired guy and she is constantly having to repeat what
she says. I know I'd find that aggravating if I were in her shoes,
even knowing that it's not his fault.

Anyway, yesterday, I asked my friend to please stop making a big deal
out of the fact that she JUST TOLD me about it, because she knows
it's not my fault, and I try to be upfront if I notice I haven't
been listening for a few minutes. I understand that it can be
annoying for her, but I don't think she should take it out on me.
Call someone else and complain to them. Or find some other way to
express her stress to me, in a way that's clear she knows I can't
help it. The way she does it sounds like she doesn't really *believe*
I can't do anything about it - that she's not just annoyed with
the situation, she's annoyed with *me*.

So we're at an impasse - I feel like she should cut me more slack,
and she feels like she needs the "escape valve" of letting off steam
and showing me her annoyance, and has refused to change her responses.
That feels like she doesn't care about my feelings. How hard can it
be to act like she's frustrated by having to repeat things, but not
mad at me?

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!


As with m,ost everything, there could be many causes. Let's start with
an easy one: you are bored with the conversation.
MLB

On 3/3/2012 11:50 PM, Bastette wrote:
Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

I've always had some difficulty focusing on things, such as when
someone is talking, or at a group gathering, watching a movie, etc.
The more emotionally involved I am in what's being said, the easier
it is for me to focus. So if someone's talking to me about a
critical problem and needs support, I'm pretty attentive and
present. But my mind tends to wander sometimes during more casual
conversation. If my mind is wandering during a movie, it's usually
at the very beginning, before I care about the story or the characters.
Once I'm hooked, my mind is much more engaged.

This is not something I know how control. My mind wanders without
my realizing it's wandering. Even when I make a concerted effort
to stay attentive, I will suddenly catch myself thinking about
something else. This used to happen a lot at work meetings. I
know that's not unusual! But it also happens with friends, especially
in groups.

I've gotten crap about this my whole life. Teachers were always
chiding me for "dreaming", which I admit, I did a lot of. For most
of my adult life I didn't have a huge problem with it, but lately,
probably due to Menopausal Brain Fog [TM], it's a little worse. I
also have a much worse memory, and I forget a lot of recent details.
I've forgotten entire conversations. At some point I realized that
these memories weren't actually *gone*, but were just harder to
retrieve, and with the right prompts, I can get it all back.

This friend had a hard time with my memory thing. She got upset and
angry when I forgot things she'd told me. I can understand feeling
that way if there's no good reason for it, but I kept trying to
explain that it was happening in all aspects of my life and I couldn't
control it. She had this attitude that I should "do something about
it" (like what?), and got pretty judgemental of me for not developing
memory strategies. (Was I supposed to take notes of all our conversations?)
Once I realized I could remember most things if I just asked for a
refresher, it got a little better between us, but I'm still sensitive
about it due to the history of feeling blamed and judged.

Nowadays, if my mind wanders during a conversation (and I don't
catch myself at it so I can say, "sorry, my mind wandered, can you
repeat that?"), I will sometimes ask a question or make a comment
that shows I hadn't heard what she'd just said. And she always
says in a very pointed way, "I JUST TOLD you that!" It feels like
I'm being admonished. It just feels insensitive.

I do understand that it can be aggravating to have to repeat
yourself to someone frequently. Another friend of mine lives with
a hearing impaired guy and she is constantly having to repeat what
she says. I know I'd find that aggravating if I were in her shoes,
even knowing that it's not his fault.

Anyway, yesterday, I asked my friend to please stop making a big deal
out of the fact that she JUST TOLD me about it, because she knows
it's not my fault, and I try to be upfront if I notice I haven't
been listening for a few minutes. I understand that it can be
annoying for her, but I don't think she should take it out on me.
Call someone else and complain to them. Or find some other way to
express her stress to me, in a way that's clear she knows I can't
help it. The way she does it sounds like she doesn't really *believe*
I can't do anything about it - that she's not just annoyed with
the situation, she's annoyed with *me*.

So we're at an impasse - I feel like she should cut me more slack,
and she feels like she needs the "escape valve" of letting off steam
and showing me her annoyance, and has refused to change her responses.
That feels like she doesn't care about my feelings. How hard can it
be to act like she's frustrated by having to repeat things, but not
mad at me?

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!


There is the possibility that it is Adult ADD - see your healthcare
professional!

Other than than, maybe you need more interesting and enjoyable friends?

--
^..^ This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help
her wipe out Bunny's world domination.
--
The ONE and ONLY
lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy
former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)©
email me at nalee1964 (at) comcast (dot) net
http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep

Bastette wrote in
:

Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

I've always had some difficulty focusing on things, such as when
someone is talking, or at a group gathering, watching a movie, etc.
The more emotionally involved I am in what's being said, the easier
it is for me to focus. So if someone's talking to me about a
critical problem and needs support, I'm pretty attentive and
present. But my mind tends to wander sometimes during more casual
conversation. If my mind is wandering during a movie, it's usually
at the very beginning, before I care about the story or the
characters. Once I'm hooked, my mind is much more engaged.

This is not something I know how control. My mind wanders without
my realizing it's wandering. Even when I make a concerted effort
to stay attentive, I will suddenly catch myself thinking about
something else. This used to happen a lot at work meetings. I
know that's not unusual! But it also happens with friends, especially
in groups.

I've gotten crap about this my whole life. Teachers were always
chiding me for "dreaming", which I admit, I did a lot of. For most
of my adult life I didn't have a huge problem with it, but lately,
probably due to Menopausal Brain Fog [TM], it's a little worse. I
also have a much worse memory, and I forget a lot of recent details.
I've forgotten entire conversations. At some point I realized that
these memories weren't actually *gone*, but were just harder to
retrieve, and with the right prompts, I can get it all back.

This friend had a hard time with my memory thing. She got upset and
angry when I forgot things she'd told me. I can understand feeling
that way if there's no good reason for it, but I kept trying to
explain that it was happening in all aspects of my life and I couldn't
control it. She had this attitude that I should "do something about
it" (like what?), and got pretty judgemental of me for not developing
memory strategies. (Was I supposed to take notes of all our
conversations?) Once I realized I could remember most things if I just
asked for a refresher, it got a little better between us, but I'm
still sensitive about it due to the history of feeling blamed and
judged.

Nowadays, if my mind wanders during a conversation (and I don't
catch myself at it so I can say, "sorry, my mind wandered, can you
repeat that?"), I will sometimes ask a question or make a comment
that shows I hadn't heard what she'd just said. And she always
says in a very pointed way, "I JUST TOLD you that!" It feels like
I'm being admonished. It just feels insensitive.

I do understand that it can be aggravating to have to repeat
yourself to someone frequently. Another friend of mine lives with
a hearing impaired guy and she is constantly having to repeat what
she says. I know I'd find that aggravating if I were in her shoes,
even knowing that it's not his fault.

Anyway, yesterday, I asked my friend to please stop making a big deal
out of the fact that she JUST TOLD me about it, because she knows
it's not my fault, and I try to be upfront if I notice I haven't
been listening for a few minutes. I understand that it can be
annoying for her, but I don't think she should take it out on me.
Call someone else and complain to them. Or find some other way to
express her stress to me, in a way that's clear she knows I can't
help it. The way she does it sounds like she doesn't really *believe*
I can't do anything about it - that she's not just annoyed with
the situation, she's annoyed with *me*.

So we're at an impasse - I feel like she should cut me more slack,
and she feels like she needs the "escape valve" of letting off steam
and showing me her annoyance, and has refused to change her responses.
That feels like she doesn't care about my feelings. How hard can it
be to act like she's frustrated by having to repeat things, but not
mad at me?

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!


Hormones play an important part in memory loss. Perhaps you should get
your levels checked. I have increasing problems with memory. More and
more, I'll know somebody told me something, but I can't remember what
that something was.

Bobble

Bastette wrote:
Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

So we're at an impasse - I feel like she should cut me more slack,
and she feels like she needs the "escape valve" of letting off steam
and showing me her annoyance, and has refused to change her responses.
That feels like she doesn't care about my feelings. How hard can it
be to act like she's frustrated by having to repeat things, but not
mad at me?

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!


Sounds to me as though your friend has a highly inflated ego! I don't
imagine you "forget" really important things (like a divorce or a death
in the close family), and most of us are too involved in our OWN lives
to remember every casual detail our friends tell us about theirs!

"MLB" wrote in message
...
On 03/03/2012 09:50 PM, Bastette wrote:
Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

I've always had some difficulty focusing on things, such as when
someone is talking, or at a group gathering, watching a movie, etc.
The more emotionally involved I am in what's being said, the easier
it is for me to focus. So if someone's talking to me about a
critical problem and needs support, I'm pretty attentive and
present. But my mind tends to wander sometimes during more casual
conversation.
(snippage)

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!


As with m,ost everything, there could be many causes. Let's start with an
easy one: you are bored with the conversation.
MLB


I agree. I talked with John on the phone earlier. When we were talking
about something we both had a vested interest in we had a nice talk. Then
he said he was leaving to go somewhere with some friends. He told me where
he was going and who he was going with. I couldn't tell you now where he
went or who he went with. I'm not there, so it's not really important I
remember that part of the conversation. He doesn't mind me asking him to
remind me, though. I often preface a sentence with, "You probably told me
this but remind me again...". He doesn't get mad about it. Conversely, I
don't get mad when he does the same thing to me. I think it's natural to
tune things out that don't directly relate to you or your interests. It's
one of the reasons I dislike going to parties and social gatherings.
Chit-chat bores me and my mind wanders.

Jill

"Judith Latham" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Bastette wrote:
Hey, I hope some of you guys might be willing to read this and give
me your opinions. A friend and I are having some words because she
sometimes does this behavior around me that I find hurtful. I've
asked her to stop, and she just refuses. Here's the situation:

[Snip]

(and more snip)

Any opinions? Who wants to play Ann Landers? (A syndicated advice
columnist.)

Thanks!

At least only your mind wanders. I fall asleep. I've done it at a meeting
at work and during conversations. I have a couple of friends (good
friends) who both talk a lot, so during conversations with them, I tend to
just make the right (I hope) responses such as yes, no and other words to
show I'm listening but when it goes on for a while I tend to nod off. DH
calls it micro-sleeping. I do it when I'm watching films or tv but not
when it's interesting stuff. I am normally a figgitt, which over here
means I'm constantly fiddling with things and if I'm sitting still too
long I fall asleep. I once fell asleep while waiting for a bus, which was
a bit worrying as I was standing up and it was only when I swayed I woke
up and I was only eighteen years old. It seems I only do it when I'm
bored. maybe you're the same.

Wow! That almost sounds like narcolepsy. I've never personally met anyone
who fell asleep standing up. Years ago my eldest brother had a roommate and
my parents went to visit him. Brother cooked dinner and his roommate was
there. The roommate fell asleep sitting at the dinner table. My mother
called me, all worried about this guy maybe doing drugs. My brother should
have warned my parents. The guy had narcolepsy. He'd fall asleep
spontaneously, without warning, wherever he was. It's a very strange
disorder.

Jill

jmcquown wrote:

Judith wrote:

At least only your mind wanders. I fall asleep. I've done it at a meeting
at work and during conversations. I have a couple of friends (good
friends) who both talk a lot, so during conversations with them, I tend to
just make the right (I hope) responses such as yes, no and other words to
show I'm listening but when it goes on for a while I tend to nod off. DH
calls it micro-sleeping. I do it when I'm watching films or tv but not
when it's interesting stuff. I am normally a figgitt, which over here
means I'm constantly fiddling with things and if I'm sitting still too
long I fall asleep. I once fell asleep while waiting for a bus, which was
a bit worrying as I was standing up and it was only when I swayed I woke
up and I was only eighteen years old. It seems I only do it when I'm
bored. maybe you're the same.

Wow! That almost sounds like narcolepsy.

Kind of the opposite of narcolepsy, actually. Narcoleptics only fall
asleep when something *exciting* is happening - when the person is feeling
strong emotions. It's very dangerous, as people tend to get more excited
when in the middle of something active - not a great time to suddenly drop
off. So they have to stay calm as much as possible. What a terrible way
to have to live! You miss out on all the best stuff in life.

Judith, I was wondering if you might not be getting decent sleep, even
if you sleep a normal number of hours, due to sleep apnea. Falling asleep
at the drop of a hat is definitely one of the symptoms. Have you ever
been checked for that? Have you ever gotten complaints about loud snoring?
(You can tell us. )

--
Joyce

The sun rose slowly, like a fiery furball coughed up uneasily onto a
sky-blue carpet by a giant unseen cat. -- Michael McGarel