I am so angry (vent)

In article , AKE-
OUT-THE-LITTER says...
I'm going to
take plenty of time this weekend and try to write a thoughtful and accurate
letter, so I'm open to more suggestions. I hope I can be "intelligent,
articulate, unflustered and factual," as Sherry suggested.

MaryL
(take out the litter to reply)

Photos of Duffy and Holly: 'o'
http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly)
http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in")




Those of us who have followed the Duffy and Holly saga know you have a
kind heart, Mary, so I'm not surprised that you're going to give him the
benefit of an explanation for not hiring him in future. My experience
with people like your cleaning man is that they were taught from
childhood that animals are to be used and discarded at will. He has
probably never bonded with an animal, and the idea of doing so would seem
ridiculous to him. At least, however, he may learn to keep his fool
mouth shut.

Deb
--
Don't let perfection get in the way of 'pretty damn good'. - "Coach" Jack
Donohue

"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message ...
"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message
...
I am so angry!! This isn't a problem where I need any advice, but I need
to
vent. Some of you know that I adopted a beautiful blind kitty (Duffy)
several months ago. Today I had my windows and carpets cleaned. I used
the
same man who has done this cleaning for a number of years -- but this will
be my last time. First he started to laugh when he saw the cat tree I got
for Duffy and Holly. I could handle that alright -- I am not emotionally
attached to furniture. However, when I explained that Duffy is blind and
what I was trying to accomplish with some of the cat furniture, he started
laughing again and laughed so hard he couldn't stop. He would stop
momentarily, then say "A blind cat -- that is so funny -- why didn't you
just get rid of it and get a healthy cat" and would laugh again. When I
would intervene, he would say "I'm sorry," then start laughing
uproariously
all over again and say, "But it's just so funny that you would spend all
that money on a blind cat."

This whole thing made me so angry I can hardly describe what I feel. What
kind of heartless monster would react like that?? Anyway, it will be his
last time here. I am going to find someone else for the future.

--
MaryL



Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the helpful comments. It helped to "vent," and it did me a
LOT of good to see all the support from this group. I usually calm down
pretty quickly, and that is true now. However, even when thinking about this
incident in "the coolness of the day," I find it hard to believe that anyone
would be so insensitive (and stupid! because he has now lost a good
customer).

Here is what I have decided. First, I wish I had thought fast enough to make
a comment such as those that several of you suggested (and escorted him to
the door, as was also suggested). That would have been perfect - but I only
seem to think of those perfect reactions after it is much too late. Since
that opportunity has passed, I am going to write a letter in which I will
inform him that I will not use his services after this and tell him exactly
why he has lost a customer of 8 or 9 years' standing. Many of you suggested
this route, and I particularly like the way Rona described it. This will
give me a chance to clearly state my feelings and will also avoid the
possibility that he could later misquote me. Among other things, I am going
to point out that my two cats are members of my family - I look on them as
my children. I am going to ask him how he would react if he heard someone
say something like that about a blind person (although my suspicion is that
he probably has little empathy for what he would see as "less than perfect"
people, either). I am also going to point out that he showed a complete lack
of respect for me by taking this position in my house and continuing with it
after I objected. Building on what Rona said, I can honestly tell him that I
have recommended him in the past and sent new customers to him - and make it
clear that any comments I make from now on will be negative and will include
details of this encounter. Incidentally, I love Jeremy's suggestion about
handing out buttons but admit that I can't see myself actually following
through on that one. A fine idea, though!

Duffy is a complete delight. He is one of the sweetest, best-natured cats I
have ever seen. Holly and Duffy together bring me such joy - and I think I
bring joy to them. They are both happy, loving, playful cats. I doubt that
the man who will receive my letter can even understand this type of
relationship, but maybe he will understand the relationship between my
letter and some loss of income.

Thanks, again, for all your help. I'm not going to rush this. I'm going to
take plenty of time this weekend and try to write a thoughtful and accurate
letter, so I'm open to more suggestions. I hope I can be "intelligent,
articulate, unflustered and factual," as Sherry suggested.

MaryL
(take out the litter to reply)

Photos of Duffy and Holly: 'o'
http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly)
http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in")

Great thing to take care of a cat like that. With that out of the
way...

Jeez, this is an illustration of what someone said to me the other
day, to wit: "People who have no *real* problems make up ones to keep
themselves occupied".

Get someone else to clean your carpets. Quit fixating. Use your excess
time to visit some older people in a nursing home who could use some
company.

"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message ...
"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message
...
I am so angry!! This isn't a problem where I need any advice, but I need
to
vent. Some of you know that I adopted a beautiful blind kitty (Duffy)
several months ago. Today I had my windows and carpets cleaned. I used
the
same man who has done this cleaning for a number of years -- but this will
be my last time. First he started to laugh when he saw the cat tree I got
for Duffy and Holly. I could handle that alright -- I am not emotionally
attached to furniture. However, when I explained that Duffy is blind and
what I was trying to accomplish with some of the cat furniture, he started
laughing again and laughed so hard he couldn't stop. He would stop
momentarily, then say "A blind cat -- that is so funny -- why didn't you
just get rid of it and get a healthy cat" and would laugh again. When I
would intervene, he would say "I'm sorry," then start laughing
uproariously
all over again and say, "But it's just so funny that you would spend all
that money on a blind cat."

This whole thing made me so angry I can hardly describe what I feel. What
kind of heartless monster would react like that?? Anyway, it will be his
last time here. I am going to find someone else for the future.

--
MaryL



Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the helpful comments. It helped to "vent," and it did me a
LOT of good to see all the support from this group. I usually calm down
pretty quickly, and that is true now. However, even when thinking about this
incident in "the coolness of the day," I find it hard to believe that anyone
would be so insensitive (and stupid! because he has now lost a good
customer).

Here is what I have decided. First, I wish I had thought fast enough to make
a comment such as those that several of you suggested (and escorted him to
the door, as was also suggested). That would have been perfect - but I only
seem to think of those perfect reactions after it is much too late. Since
that opportunity has passed, I am going to write a letter in which I will
inform him that I will not use his services after this and tell him exactly
why he has lost a customer of 8 or 9 years' standing. Many of you suggested
this route, and I particularly like the way Rona described it. This will
give me a chance to clearly state my feelings and will also avoid the
possibility that he could later misquote me. Among other things, I am going
to point out that my two cats are members of my family - I look on them as
my children. I am going to ask him how he would react if he heard someone
say something like that about a blind person (although my suspicion is that
he probably has little empathy for what he would see as "less than perfect"
people, either). I am also going to point out that he showed a complete lack
of respect for me by taking this position in my house and continuing with it
after I objected. Building on what Rona said, I can honestly tell him that I
have recommended him in the past and sent new customers to him - and make it
clear that any comments I make from now on will be negative and will include
details of this encounter. Incidentally, I love Jeremy's suggestion about
handing out buttons but admit that I can't see myself actually following
through on that one. A fine idea, though!

Duffy is a complete delight. He is one of the sweetest, best-natured cats I
have ever seen. Holly and Duffy together bring me such joy - and I think I
bring joy to them. They are both happy, loving, playful cats. I doubt that
the man who will receive my letter can even understand this type of
relationship, but maybe he will understand the relationship between my
letter and some loss of income.

Thanks, again, for all your help. I'm not going to rush this. I'm going to
take plenty of time this weekend and try to write a thoughtful and accurate
letter, so I'm open to more suggestions. I hope I can be "intelligent,
articulate, unflustered and factual," as Sherry suggested.

MaryL
(take out the litter to reply)

Photos of Duffy and Holly: 'o'
http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly)
http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in")

Great thing to take care of a cat like that. With that out of the
way...

Jeez, this is an illustration of what someone said to me the other
day, to wit: "People who have no *real* problems make up ones to keep
themselves occupied".

Get someone else to clean your carpets. Quit fixating. Use your excess
time to visit some older people in a nursing home who could use some
company.

"Klinger" wrote in message
om...

Jeez, this is an illustration of what someone said to me the other
day, to wit: "People who have no *real* problems make up ones to keep
themselves occupied".

Get someone else to clean your carpets. Quit fixating. Use your excess
time to visit some older people in a nursing home who could use some
company.

This is not going to become a fixation. The incident only happened
yesterday. I will send a letter this week because I think this guy needs to
know why I willno longer have him in my home (or give him any more
business).

I agree that people in nursing homes are often desperately in need of
company. I was the sole caregiver for my mother for five years. After she
became completely bed-ridden, I had to place her in a nursinghome. I am now
her advocate, visit her approximately three times a week, and do everything
I can to assure quality care for her. How often do you visit someone in a
nursing home?

MaryL

"Klinger" wrote in message
om...

Jeez, this is an illustration of what someone said to me the other
day, to wit: "People who have no *real* problems make up ones to keep
themselves occupied".

Get someone else to clean your carpets. Quit fixating. Use your excess
time to visit some older people in a nursing home who could use some
company.

This is not going to become a fixation. The incident only happened
yesterday. I will send a letter this week because I think this guy needs to
know why I willno longer have him in my home (or give him any more
business).

I agree that people in nursing homes are often desperately in need of
company. I was the sole caregiver for my mother for five years. After she
became completely bed-ridden, I had to place her in a nursinghome. I am now
her advocate, visit her approximately three times a week, and do everything
I can to assure quality care for her. How often do you visit someone in a
nursing home?

MaryL

From: "Linda E"

When I was spending $400/month for cat meds, a different person at the
pharmacy would wait on me every month..... they'd always look at me like I
had three eyes and say, "you realize how much this is, right...?" I would
just reply with, "Yeah. But, it's for my cat. I'd *never* spend this kind
of money on a kid!"....... that would usually shut them up......


I love it!
________
See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe
Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html
http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html
Declawing Info: http://www.wholecat.com/articles/claws.htm

From: "Linda E"

When I was spending $400/month for cat meds, a different person at the
pharmacy would wait on me every month..... they'd always look at me like I
had three eyes and say, "you realize how much this is, right...?" I would
just reply with, "Yeah. But, it's for my cat. I'd *never* spend this kind
of money on a kid!"....... that would usually shut them up......


I love it!
________
See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe
Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html
http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html
Declawing Info: http://www.wholecat.com/articles/claws.htm

MaryL wrote:

Here is what I have decided. First, I wish I had thought fast enough
to make a comment such as those that several of you suggested (and
escorted him to the door, as was also suggested). That would have
been perfect - but I only seem to think of those perfect reactions
after it is much too late. Since that opportunity has passed, I am
going to write a letter [snip great letter content]

I think when something like this happens, I know with myself at least, I am so
shocked by what the person is saying, that I can't even react properly, until
after they are gone. I think the letter sounds like a great idea. Sometimes
letters can convey a message better than saying something in person.

Lauren
________
See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe
Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html
http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html
Declawing Info: http://www.wholecat.com/articles/claws.htm

MaryL wrote:

Here is what I have decided. First, I wish I had thought fast enough
to make a comment such as those that several of you suggested (and
escorted him to the door, as was also suggested). That would have
been perfect - but I only seem to think of those perfect reactions
after it is much too late. Since that opportunity has passed, I am
going to write a letter [snip great letter content]

I think when something like this happens, I know with myself at least, I am so
shocked by what the person is saying, that I can't even react properly, until
after they are gone. I think the letter sounds like a great idea. Sometimes
letters can convey a message better than saying something in person.

Lauren
________
See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe
Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html
http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html
Declawing Info: http://www.wholecat.com/articles/claws.htm

"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER
wrote in message

Upset at rude comments from the carpet cleaning man...

First he started to laugh when he saw the cat tree...
I explained that Duffy is blind...he laughed so hard...
then say "A blind cat -- that is so funny -- why didn't
you just get rid of it and get a healthy cat" ..."But it's
just so funny that you would spend all that money on
a blind cat."

I can understand his reaction - so many people doen't think of cats as
worthwhile. It's too bad his parents didn't instill better behavior
in him as a child (but maybe they triee and he's ignored his early
training). If he has a boss, I wonder if the boss has explained the
proper behavior expected of an employee when going to a client's home
as a representative of that company. If this guy is self-employeed, I
wonder how many people have only used him once or twice and then moved
on to more someone who was more professional...

Either way, please feel free to write a classy note stating that you
do not expect ridicule from service personelle and as a result of the
completely disrespectful behavior of the carpet cleaner, you will no
longer be using his services, nor will you be able to provide
references for him. Include a cute photo of your cat, if you wish.

~Shelly~