Scouty the Brave

Takayuki wrote:
Karen AKA Kajikit wrote:
All I can say Tak, is please don't do what my uncle did... he never
'wanted' a cat but his friend's daughter was moving overseas and
needed a cat-carer so he took the cat on (mostly because he had a
huge crush on the friend :P ) He doted on that cat and thought she
was the most precious creature in the universe. Nothing was too good
for her... but she wasn't a young cat when he adopted her and
eventually she crossed the Rainbow Bridge and he was so heartbroken
that he vowed never to get another one... and he's been alone for a
decade

There will never be another Betty, but there are so many cats that
need loving homes and they're all special in their own ways. Please
keep your heart open to the possibility of another furry companion...

Right now, I'm in a state where I want *Betty* back. Maybe it's
because I've never had another, but it seems to be her that I'm pining
for, that I'm lonely for.

I know that feeling can last for months. One day maybe you'll be able to
share your life with another cat and be able to apreciate the differences.
Obviously there can never be another Betty.
--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera)
Cats leave pawprints on your heart.
http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
Karen AKA Kajikit wrote:
All I can say Tak, is please don't do what my uncle did... he never
'wanted' a cat but his friend's daughter was moving overseas and
needed a cat-carer so he took the cat on (mostly because he had a huge
crush on the friend :P ) He doted on that cat and thought she was the
most precious creature in the universe. Nothing was too good for
her... but she wasn't a young cat when he adopted her and eventually
she crossed the Rainbow Bridge and he was so heartbroken that he vowed
never to get another one... and he's been alone for a decade

There will never be another Betty, but there are so many cats that
need loving homes and they're all special in their own ways. Please
keep your heart open to the possibility of another furry companion...

Right now, I'm in a state where I want *Betty* back. Maybe it's
because I've never had another, but it seems to be her that I'm pining
for, that I'm lonely for.


It isn't yet time then.

I only had my Rosie for a year, And as far as cats go, she was my one true
love. All our other cats pretty much consider me a poor imitation of their
real owner DH. She was a lovebug and a full contact cat. A rather small
version of the thin and regal show Siamese,

When she died, all I wanted for the longest time was Rosie back. I'd think
of the qualities I'd like to have in a new kitten and would quickly see, I
was just asking for Rosie. Not fair to me, not fair to Rosie and really not
fair to a kitten.

So I started listing what I wanted. A girl cat. Small. Big ears. Long
tail. And I stopped the list with that. Any more would not be reasonable.

We hit the shelters. And the PetCo and Pet Mart rescues. Started at 9 AM
and really looked. Nothing. The PetCo furthest from our house didn't have
any cats, said the cat lady was having car trouble and would be late. So we
kept on going. But decided to go back and check them out just one more
time.

We got there just as their cat lady arrived and started unloading. Third
cat into a cage was a tiny eighteen month old girl with big ears and a long
tail. White, tabby and orange calico markings. Stitched up her belly, And
a really exhausted look in her eyes. She was a feral that had been trapped
and had just raised a litter of kittens. But she met the guidelines and we
brought her home. She isn't my Rosie. No cat ever will be. But she was
meant to be here. Often she just drifts through like a little ghost. Never
asks for attention. But at night when she thinks I'm asleep she comes in a
curls up on my feet.

Jo

wrote:
I think that's what grief is. You want that specific person or cat
or friend of whatever species, you don't want a replacement.

Ultimately, most people get to a place where, although they don't
stop missing the friend who has departed, the grief is less over-
powering so that they now have some room in their heart to love
someone else. It sounds like you're not there right now. I think
that's fine, and quite natural.

When Smudge was missing, I remember the first 3 or 4 days, I would
come home, look at Licky and Roxy, and feel *nothing*. All I could
see when I looked at them was "not Smudge". It was horrible. After
a few days, I started to feel some affection for them again, and I
was *so* relieved! But I still missed Smudge so much that I wasn't
able to enjoy them as much as I had before she disappeared, and
since she's been back.

There's no need to feel bad about that. In fact, I think that the
"not Smudge" feeling is much stronger in your temporary loss grief
case than in a bereavement case, because you were actually physically
searching for Smudge, so out of necessity, you were categorizing
everything as Smudge, possibly Smudge, and not Smudge.

I'm sure that in Karen's case for example, she didn't see Pearl and
Sugar as "not Grant", although of course, they are that. But she was
probably comforted by them, even though their health situations right
now are maybe not too comforting.

I'm so glad that your grief over Smudge was cut short! You know, I
still wonder what happened to Ollie and Buddy, and the other cats that
just seemed to have disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle.

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
wrote:
I think that's what grief is. You want that specific person or cat
or friend of whatever species, you don't want a replacement.

Ultimately, most people get to a place where, although they don't
stop missing the friend who has departed, the grief is less over-
powering so that they now have some room in their heart to love
someone else. It sounds like you're not there right now. I think
that's fine, and quite natural.

When Smudge was missing, I remember the first 3 or 4 days, I would
come home, look at Licky and Roxy, and feel *nothing*. All I could
see when I looked at them was "not Smudge". It was horrible. After
a few days, I started to feel some affection for them again, and I
was *so* relieved! But I still missed Smudge so much that I wasn't
able to enjoy them as much as I had before she disappeared, and
since she's been back.

There's no need to feel bad about that. In fact, I think that the
"not Smudge" feeling is much stronger in your temporary loss grief
case than in a bereavement case, because you were actually physically
searching for Smudge, so out of necessity, you were categorizing
everything as Smudge, possibly Smudge, and not Smudge.

I'm sure that in Karen's case for example, she didn't see Pearl and
Sugar as "not Grant", although of course, they are that. But she was
probably comforted by them, even though their health situations right
now are maybe not too comforting.

I have to say that it was true for me too. And I always felt bad because
Sugar was kind of my favorite (well, it's hard for me to say there was
difference between Grant and Sugar but I thought MAYBE I loved Sugar a
little more) but I, too, felt a bit "they're not Grant". However, I also
felt thankful for them because it would have been sooooooooooooo much worse
to come home to NO one. I was also quite sick when Grant died. It was all
very bad.


I'm so glad that your grief over Smudge was cut short! You know, I
still wonder what happened to Ollie and Buddy, and the other cats that
just seemed to have disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle.

Karen wrote:

"Takayuki" wrote in message

I'm sure that in Karen's case for example, she didn't see Pearl and
Sugar as "not Grant", although of course, they are that. But she was
probably comforted by them, even though their health situations right
now are maybe not too comforting.

I have to say that it was true for me too. And I always felt bad because
Sugar was kind of my favorite (well, it's hard for me to say there was
difference between Grant and Sugar but I thought MAYBE I loved Sugar a
little more) but I, too, felt a bit "they're not Grant".

Roxy has always been my favorite, but when Smudge was gone, I was still
really missing *her*, and even my favorite cat couldn't make up for that.

One way that I really value Smudge is that she's very constant about
her affections. Roxy comes and goes - and when she does come up for a
cuddle, she's extremely affectionate, gets right in my face, rubs noses,
purrs in my ear, etc. - but then when she's done, she's on her way.
Licky is pretty much the same way.

Whereas Smudge just kind of parks herself near me (usually touching
me someplace, eg, curled up and leaning against my torso, or lying on
top of my thigh when I'm reclining on the couch, etc). She's quite
loyal, and likes to hang out wherever I'm hanging out. Even when she
goes outdoors, her favorite thing is to have me join her outside and
pet her while she rolls around on the warm sidewalk. She also loves
taking walks with me.

Smudge is also a constant purrer. Pretty much anytime I come near
her, talk to her, coo at her, look at her, or touch her briefly, she
starts purring. She just really likes attention. She's a very highly
socialized kitty.

Joyce

"Karen" wrote:
However, I also felt thankful for them because it would
have been sooooooooooooo much worse to come home to NO one.

Yes, I know. It's so quiet.

Karen AKA Kajikit wrote:

You know how chicken Scouty is - she runs away and hides under the bed
if anyone comes to the door and she doesn't recognise their voice...
and even if she DOES recognise them she hides in the craftroom just in
case she was wrong. Dan (our landlord) came over yesterday to collect
the rent and she was under the dresser. We had to go into the
craftroom to measure up the closet doors and she was curious enough to
jump up on the desk and sit in her box to watch us, half-hiding behind
the rack of skirts I had hanging up to dry. I turned around and
noticed her and told her she was very brave, and Dan turned around and
admired her and she didn't run away! So he went towards her and held
out his hand towards her. He didn't try to pet her this time, but she
sniffed his fingers with interest and I told her what a good brave
girl she was

Good for Scouty!
Best wishes,
Polonca and Soncek

Takayuki wrote:

Right now, I'm in a state where I want *Betty* back. Maybe it's
because I've never had another, but it seems to be her that I'm pining
for, that I'm lonely for.

That is understandable, Tak.
Lots and lots of purrs and hugs,
Polonca and Soncek