*sighs*

I'm ovulating this weekend.

We're going to have another child, someday. But it just... it's difficult. I
can't imagine life with a single living child. But I can't *not* feel like
this is just a kneejerk reaction, a "replacement" of sorts. Guilt,
confusion....

Don't really have a point to this thread, just meanderings.

I met a woman this weekend, she lost her 17 month old 22 years ago. It
helped, I guess. Makes me want to surround myself with mothers who have lost
children. It's a horrific bond. I asked her what happened, and she shared
the details. In turn, she has been the *only* person that was able to ask
and I shared without any negativity towards the callousness of someone
asking, well what happened. And I have had friends that mentioned that yes,
they wondered what occurred, what caused Eve's death... but only after I
supplied the barest details. And that was ok, I understand the need to know.
It's a closing And yes, that post is coming eventually. It's easier to tell
it than it is to type it out. But... it was different, I felt so open, like
a secret was safe to share with a person that held the same secret. Maybe
details can be swapped easier with someone who has endured the same tragedy.

It's just... an immense hurt. The little things...

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
I'm ovulating this weekend.

We're going to have another child, someday. But it just... it's
difficult. I
can't imagine life with a single living child. But I can't *not* feel
like
this is just a kneejerk reaction, a "replacement" of sorts. Guilt,
confusion....

Don't really have a point to this thread, just meanderings.

I met a woman this weekend, she lost her 17 month old 22 years ago. It
helped, I guess. Makes me want to surround myself with mothers who
have lost
children. It's a horrific bond. I asked her what happened, and she
shared
the details. In turn, she has been the *only* person that was able to
ask
and I shared without any negativity towards the callousness of someone
asking, well what happened. And I have had friends that mentioned that
yes,
they wondered what occurred, what caused Eve's death... but only after
I
supplied the barest details. And that was ok, I understand the need to
know.
It's a closing And yes, that post is coming eventually. It's easier
to tell
it than it is to type it out. But... it was different, I felt so open,
like
a secret was safe to share with a person that held the same secret.
Maybe
details can be swapped easier with someone who has endured the same
tragedy.

It's just... an immense hurt. The little things...

((((((((((Grace)))))))))

I can't imagine what you're going through. Well, I can sort of imagine
it, because it's a fear I think all parents have, but I know your pain
is beyond my understanding. It is good that you found someone you can
talk to about it - someone who truly understands.

Joy

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
I'm ovulating this weekend.

We're going to have another child, someday. But it just... it's
difficult. I
can't imagine life with a single living child. But I can't *not* feel
like
this is just a kneejerk reaction, a "replacement" of sorts. Guilt,
confusion....

Don't really have a point to this thread, just meanderings.

I met a woman this weekend, she lost her 17 month old 22 years ago. It
helped, I guess. Makes me want to surround myself with mothers who
have lost
children. It's a horrific bond. I asked her what happened, and she
shared
the details. In turn, she has been the *only* person that was able to
ask
and I shared without any negativity towards the callousness of someone
asking, well what happened. And I have had friends that mentioned that
yes,
they wondered what occurred, what caused Eve's death... but only after
I
supplied the barest details. And that was ok, I understand the need to
know.
It's a closing And yes, that post is coming eventually. It's easier
to tell
it than it is to type it out. But... it was different, I felt so open,
like
a secret was safe to share with a person that held the same secret.
Maybe
details can be swapped easier with someone who has endured the same
tragedy.

It's just... an immense hurt. The little things...

((((((((((Grace)))))))))

I can't imagine what you're going through. Well, I can sort of imagine
it, because it's a fear I think all parents have, but I know your pain
is beyond my understanding. It is good that you found someone you can
talk to about it - someone who truly understands.

Joy

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
I'm ovulating this weekend.

We're going to have another child, someday. But it just... it's
difficult. I
can't imagine life with a single living child. But I can't *not* feel
like
this is just a kneejerk reaction, a "replacement" of sorts. Guilt,
confusion....

Don't really have a point to this thread, just meanderings.

I met a woman this weekend, she lost her 17 month old 22 years ago. It
helped, I guess. Makes me want to surround myself with mothers who
have lost
children. It's a horrific bond. I asked her what happened, and she
shared
the details. In turn, she has been the *only* person that was able to
ask
and I shared without any negativity towards the callousness of someone
asking, well what happened. And I have had friends that mentioned that
yes,
they wondered what occurred, what caused Eve's death... but only after
I
supplied the barest details. And that was ok, I understand the need to
know.
It's a closing And yes, that post is coming eventually. It's easier
to tell
it than it is to type it out. But... it was different, I felt so open,
like
a secret was safe to share with a person that held the same secret.
Maybe
details can be swapped easier with someone who has endured the same
tragedy.

It's just... an immense hurt. The little things...

((((((((((Grace)))))))))

I can't imagine what you're going through. Well, I can sort of imagine
it, because it's a fear I think all parents have, but I know your pain
is beyond my understanding. It is good that you found someone you can
talk to about it - someone who truly understands.

Joy

gracecat wrote:

I met a woman this weekend, she lost her 17 month old 22 years ago. It
helped, I guess. Makes me want to surround myself with mothers who have lost
children. It's a horrific bond. I asked her what happened, and she shared
the details. In turn, she has been the *only* person that was able to ask
and I shared without any negativity towards the callousness of someone
asking, well what happened. ... it was different, I felt so open, like
a secret was safe to share with a person that held the same secret. Maybe
details can be swapped easier with someone who has endured the same tragedy.

I wonder, Grace, is there a grief group in your area that you might join,
when/if you're ready for something like that? Hospitals sometimes run groups
like this, also community centers, and churches, etc. You've probably already
thought of this. But your post made me think that if talking to this woman
felt safe, maybe others who've lost children are the people you need to be
talking to right now?

{{{Grace}}}

Continuing purrs,

Joyce

gracecat wrote:

I met a woman this weekend, she lost her 17 month old 22 years ago. It
helped, I guess. Makes me want to surround myself with mothers who have lost
children. It's a horrific bond. I asked her what happened, and she shared
the details. In turn, she has been the *only* person that was able to ask
and I shared without any negativity towards the callousness of someone
asking, well what happened. ... it was different, I felt so open, like
a secret was safe to share with a person that held the same secret. Maybe
details can be swapped easier with someone who has endured the same tragedy.

I wonder, Grace, is there a grief group in your area that you might join,
when/if you're ready for something like that? Hospitals sometimes run groups
like this, also community centers, and churches, etc. You've probably already
thought of this. But your post made me think that if talking to this woman
felt safe, maybe others who've lost children are the people you need to be
talking to right now?

{{{Grace}}}

Continuing purrs,

Joyce

gracecat wrote:

I met a woman this weekend, she lost her 17 month old 22 years ago. It
helped, I guess. Makes me want to surround myself with mothers who have lost
children. It's a horrific bond. I asked her what happened, and she shared
the details. In turn, she has been the *only* person that was able to ask
and I shared without any negativity towards the callousness of someone
asking, well what happened. ... it was different, I felt so open, like
a secret was safe to share with a person that held the same secret. Maybe
details can be swapped easier with someone who has endured the same tragedy.

I wonder, Grace, is there a grief group in your area that you might join,
when/if you're ready for something like that? Hospitals sometimes run groups
like this, also community centers, and churches, etc. You've probably already
thought of this. But your post made me think that if talking to this woman
felt safe, maybe others who've lost children are the people you need to be
talking to right now?

{{{Grace}}}

Continuing purrs,

Joyce

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
.... It's just... an immense hurt. The little things...

Grace,
Give yourself time.
Be aware that as a woman, your hormones will affect your emotions and take
that into consideration.
Share what you need to share and hang onto what you need to hang onto.
Your healing comes before anyone's desire or need to know details.
Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it and don't feel obligated to
accept what you don't need.
Just know that we are here for you whenever and however you need us,
individually or as a group.
Hugs,
Annie

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
.... It's just... an immense hurt. The little things...

Grace,
Give yourself time.
Be aware that as a woman, your hormones will affect your emotions and take
that into consideration.
Share what you need to share and hang onto what you need to hang onto.
Your healing comes before anyone's desire or need to know details.
Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it and don't feel obligated to
accept what you don't need.
Just know that we are here for you whenever and however you need us,
individually or as a group.
Hugs,
Annie

"gracecat" wrote in message
...
.... It's just... an immense hurt. The little things...

Grace,
Give yourself time.
Be aware that as a woman, your hormones will affect your emotions and take
that into consideration.
Share what you need to share and hang onto what you need to hang onto.
Your healing comes before anyone's desire or need to know details.
Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it and don't feel obligated to
accept what you don't need.
Just know that we are here for you whenever and however you need us,
individually or as a group.
Hugs,
Annie