Need help and encouragement OT

Mike is under the gun. He either has to have a job, have arranged to
enter some sort of school, or be accepted into the Job Corps before the
24th. He's been playing with it for some time now. He realized the
other day that both Rob and I are serious this time. He's been
frantically putting together his packet for the Job Corps. We'll see.
It will hurt like h*ll if we have to toss him out, but we can't have him
camping out in the house doing nothing but playing PS/2 games any more.

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.
We need to get on with our lives as well, and we can't do that at this
moment, with worrying over Mike's future.

Pam S.

in article , Tanada at
wrote on 11/19/03 9:56 PM:

Mike is under the gun. He either has to have a job, have arranged to
enter some sort of school, or be accepted into the Job Corps before the
24th. He's been playing with it for some time now. He realized the
other day that both Rob and I are serious this time. He's been
frantically putting together his packet for the Job Corps. We'll see.
It will hurt like h*ll if we have to toss him out, but we can't have him
camping out in the house doing nothing but playing PS/2 games any more.

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.
We need to get on with our lives as well, and we can't do that at this
moment, with worrying over Mike's future.

Pam S.

You *don't* want him to become a playstation potato. He will not have any
confidence in his life or less, if you don't. He can do this. You know that
because he has great genes. You just have to make him. Purrs being
forwarded.

Karen

"Tanada" wrote in message
...
Mike is under the gun. He either has to have a job, have arranged to
enter some sort of school, or be accepted into the Job Corps before
the
24th. He's been playing with it for some time now. He realized the
other day that both Rob and I are serious this time. He's been
frantically putting together his packet for the Job Corps. We'll see.
It will hurt like h*ll if we have to toss him out, but we can't have
him
camping out in the house doing nothing but playing PS/2 games any
more.

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.
We need to get on with our lives as well, and we can't do that at this
moment, with worrying over Mike's future.

Pam S.

I think you'll get plenty of encouragement here. It's hard, I know, but
sometimes tough love is the only answer.

Joy

Subject: Need help and encouragement OT
From: Tanada
Date: 11/19/03 9:56 PM Central Standard Time
Message-id:

Mike is under the gun. He either has to have a job, have arranged to
enter some sort of school, or be accepted into the Job Corps before the
24th. He's been playing with it for some time now. He realized the
other day that both Rob and I are serious this time. He's been
frantically putting together his packet for the Job Corps. We'll see.
It will hurt like h*ll if we have to toss him out, but we can't have him
camping out in the house doing nothing but playing PS/2 games any more.

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.
We need to get on with our lives as well, and we can't do that at this
moment, with worrying over Mike's future.

Pam S.



Sending out purrs from here Pam. Tell him that his RPCA aunts and uncles are
going to take their turn in kicking his butt if he doesn't find a job and leave
his mama's stress levels alone.

Grace

"Tanada" wrote in message
...
Mike is under the gun. He either has to have a job, have arranged to
enter some sort of school, or be accepted into the Job Corps before the
24th. He's been playing with it for some time now. He realized the
other day that both Rob and I are serious this time. He's been
frantically putting together his packet for the Job Corps. We'll see.
It will hurt like h*ll if we have to toss him out, but we can't have him
camping out in the house doing nothing but playing PS/2 games any more.

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.
We need to get on with our lives as well, and we can't do that at this
moment, with worrying over Mike's future.

I didn't think I"d be able to say this for quite some time, but Pam, I think
I know how you feel. Thank the PTB that Mike isn't partial to drugs like
Daniel is, but the situations are similar. While it will break Joel's heart
(and will bruise mine) to toss Daniel out on the street, we also can't just
have Daniel here using up every single ounce of our goodwill and charity.

And that is where the "list of rules" with cut off dates is actually
helpful. You may wish to modify the list of rules that I posted earlier for
Daniel and give the same ultimatum for Mike. With Daniel, its not so much
*results* I need to see, but *effort* and *good intent*. Jobs are hard to
come by, jobs for people with diagnosed mental diseases and no education are
even harder to find, but as long as Daniel can show he's looking and putting
the effort in to making a life for himself, thats all we can hope for.

Hang in there. Like you've said to me, sometimes tough love is the best
sort. Holding their hand for longer than you should stops being helpful and
starts "enabling" bad behaviour (as we've found out - the hard way)

Hugs,

Yowie

"Tanada" wrote

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.


Purrs for Mrike to get his act together, and for you to have the strength to
stand your ground.

--
Marina, Frank and Nikki
marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.
We need to get on with our lives as well, and we can't do that at this
moment, with worrying over Mike's future.

Pam S.

Pam, I have a "Mike" too. He sounds much like yours. Good-natured and
gentle-spirited, a really good kid but a bit lacking in the ambition
department. I think these kids are just need a little more time to mature. (Of
course a not-so-gentle nudge might be in order to accomplish this)
Purrs, purrs, purrs to you.

Sherry

You *don't* want him to become a playstation potato. He will not have any
confidence in his life or less, if you don't. He can do this. You know that
because he has great genes. You just have to make him. Purrs being
forwarded.

Karen


I agree about the Playstation (or Ninetendo, or X Box, or excessive computer
games). If I had the chance to do *one thing* differently, I'd have started
restricting game play or discouraging more way back when he was 8 or 9.

Sherry

Pam,

Hang in there! It's your job to do what's best for him, even if it
hurts. I know you'll do the right thing.

Victor

--
Victor Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

On Thu, 20 Nov 2003 03:56:08 GMT, Tanada
wrote:

Mike is under the gun. He either has to have a job, have arranged to
enter some sort of school, or be accepted into the Job Corps before the
24th. He's been playing with it for some time now. He realized the
other day that both Rob and I are serious this time. He's been
frantically putting together his packet for the Job Corps. We'll see.
It will hurt like h*ll if we have to toss him out, but we can't have him
camping out in the house doing nothing but playing PS/2 games any more.

Please encourage me to insist on following through if I waver. Mike
needs to develop a life of his own, away from us, and go on from here.
We need to get on with our lives as well, and we can't do that at this
moment, with worrying over Mike's future.

Pam S.

It's called tough love, Pam. My oldest daughter has thanked me
numerous times for suggesting that we would both be happier if she had
her own place. Stick to your guns and don't be wishy washy about the
whole thing. Some day he'll thank you for it.

Nan