What's the best way to deter our cat from scratching at our bedroom door?

wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him, chasing
him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have figured out)
and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping with
you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that suddenly
taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely and cruelly
for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and wrong. If this were
a child I would hope you would approach this with KINDNESS and
UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that eases his anxieties
about the change and use positive measures to make the change easier.
I would suggest that you make the hour before bedtime a special time
for you and your cat. Play with him, snuggle him and give him lots of
attention. Give him that to look forward to as an alternative to
sleeping with you at night. You should also, for now, put a tall
scratching post next to your door. Once you go to bed, don't respond
to his scratching the door AT ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing
him, no yelling, no squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop
getting up and negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats
will sometimes settle for negative attention rather than nothing at
all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a response
to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and settle down
for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a cat to do what
you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since
I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way.
He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed,
and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from
work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the
day, the worse he scratches at night. He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he
is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. If I was a
cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I
don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can
never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal, with animal
instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He will never have
powers of reason. And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's
asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats
altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third
of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works
so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat
because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this
day.

I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried
several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat,
and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is
knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I
turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been
interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed. He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals are like
children is that they all have individual personalities and respond
differently. We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and because he
is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see
how his life has changed, and will remain changed. God I wish I could
accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked,
that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have
any other constructive advice.

- Joanne

wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him, chasing
him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have figured out)
and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping with
you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that suddenly
taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely and cruelly
for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and wrong. If this were
a child I would hope you would approach this with KINDNESS and
UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that eases his anxieties
about the change and use positive measures to make the change easier.
I would suggest that you make the hour before bedtime a special time
for you and your cat. Play with him, snuggle him and give him lots of
attention. Give him that to look forward to as an alternative to
sleeping with you at night. You should also, for now, put a tall
scratching post next to your door. Once you go to bed, don't respond
to his scratching the door AT ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing
him, no yelling, no squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop
getting up and negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats
will sometimes settle for negative attention rather than nothing at
all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a response
to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and settle down
for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a cat to do what
you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since
I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way.
He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed,
and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from
work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the
day, the worse he scratches at night. He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he
is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. If I was a
cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I
don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can
never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal, with animal
instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He will never have
powers of reason. And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's
asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats
altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third
of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works
so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat
because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this
day.

I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried
several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat,
and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is
knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I
turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been
interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed. He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals are like
children is that they all have individual personalities and respond
differently. We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and because he
is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see
how his life has changed, and will remain changed. God I wish I could
accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked,
that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have
any other constructive advice.

- Joanne

wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him, chasing
him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have figured out)
and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping with
you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that suddenly
taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely and cruelly
for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and wrong. If this were
a child I would hope you would approach this with KINDNESS and
UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that eases his anxieties
about the change and use positive measures to make the change easier.
I would suggest that you make the hour before bedtime a special time
for you and your cat. Play with him, snuggle him and give him lots of
attention. Give him that to look forward to as an alternative to
sleeping with you at night. You should also, for now, put a tall
scratching post next to your door. Once you go to bed, don't respond
to his scratching the door AT ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing
him, no yelling, no squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop
getting up and negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats
will sometimes settle for negative attention rather than nothing at
all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a response
to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and settle down
for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a cat to do what
you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since
I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way.
He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed,
and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from
work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the
day, the worse he scratches at night. He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he
is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. If I was a
cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I
don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can
never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal, with animal
instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He will never have
powers of reason. And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's
asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats
altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third
of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works
so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat
because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this
day.

I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried
several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat,
and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is
knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I
turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been
interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed. He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals are like
children is that they all have individual personalities and respond
differently. We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and because he
is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see
how his life has changed, and will remain changed. God I wish I could
accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked,
that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have
any other constructive advice.

- Joanne

"jjmoreta" wrote in message ...
wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him, chasing
him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have figured out)
and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping with
you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that suddenly
taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely and cruelly
for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and wrong. If this were
a child I would hope you would approach this with KINDNESS and
UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that eases his anxieties
about the change and use positive measures to make the change easier.
I would suggest that you make the hour before bedtime a special time
for you and your cat. Play with him, snuggle him and give him lots of
attention. Give him that to look forward to as an alternative to
sleeping with you at night. You should also, for now, put a tall
scratching post next to your door. Once you go to bed, don't respond
to his scratching the door AT ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing
him, no yelling, no squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop
getting up and negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats
will sometimes settle for negative attention rather than nothing at
all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a response
to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and settle down
for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a cat to do what
you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since
I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way.
He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed,
and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from
work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the
day, the worse he scratches at night.

Because he is suffering separation anxiety. He feels neglected.

He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he
is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. If I was a
cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I
don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can
never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal, with animal
instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He will never have
powers of reason.

You don't understand cats at all.

And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's
asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats
altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third
of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works
so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat
because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this
day.

My husband married me and my two dogs and two cats - all of which he
is allergic to. You find ways to make it work for everyone. Megan
gave you the solution. Read her suggestions again.



I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried
several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat,
and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is
knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I
turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been
interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed.

Oh great. Declawed. Figures.

A cat tree and scratching posts are not the same thing. What this cat
needs is a tall cat tree near the area of your bedroom. He also needs
other distractions to keep him occupied at night, like interactive
toys. He needs special attention before bedtime - and play
time/interaction that will tire him out. Feliaway may also be
effective at calming him at night.


He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals are like
children is that they all have individual personalities and respond
differently.

I feel sorry for your cats.

We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and because he
is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see
how his life has changed, and will remain changed. God I wish I could
accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked,

Well, the abusive methods you are using now aren't working, or you
wouldn't be here asking us how to solve your problems, now, would you?
Squirting and yelling do nothing to train a cat, except to teach it
that it cannot trust you - leading to further anxiety.


that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have
any other constructive advice.

Stop abusing your cat. Megan's advice is spot-on. She's been in
animal rescue for years and is quite knowledgeable about behavior
modification.

And when you get fed up with your cat and dump him at a shelter after
your baby comes, it will be the Megans of the world who rescue him and
rehome him. So, heed her advice, and quit being PO'ed at her for
stating the obvious.

-L.

"jjmoreta" wrote in message ...
wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him, chasing
him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have figured out)
and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping with
you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that suddenly
taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely and cruelly
for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and wrong. If this were
a child I would hope you would approach this with KINDNESS and
UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that eases his anxieties
about the change and use positive measures to make the change easier.
I would suggest that you make the hour before bedtime a special time
for you and your cat. Play with him, snuggle him and give him lots of
attention. Give him that to look forward to as an alternative to
sleeping with you at night. You should also, for now, put a tall
scratching post next to your door. Once you go to bed, don't respond
to his scratching the door AT ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing
him, no yelling, no squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop
getting up and negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats
will sometimes settle for negative attention rather than nothing at
all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a response
to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and settle down
for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a cat to do what
you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since
I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way.
He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed,
and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from
work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the
day, the worse he scratches at night.

Because he is suffering separation anxiety. He feels neglected.

He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he
is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. If I was a
cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I
don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can
never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal, with animal
instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He will never have
powers of reason.

You don't understand cats at all.

And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's
asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats
altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third
of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works
so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat
because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this
day.

My husband married me and my two dogs and two cats - all of which he
is allergic to. You find ways to make it work for everyone. Megan
gave you the solution. Read her suggestions again.



I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried
several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat,
and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is
knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I
turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been
interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed.

Oh great. Declawed. Figures.

A cat tree and scratching posts are not the same thing. What this cat
needs is a tall cat tree near the area of your bedroom. He also needs
other distractions to keep him occupied at night, like interactive
toys. He needs special attention before bedtime - and play
time/interaction that will tire him out. Feliaway may also be
effective at calming him at night.


He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals are like
children is that they all have individual personalities and respond
differently.

I feel sorry for your cats.

We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and because he
is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see
how his life has changed, and will remain changed. God I wish I could
accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked,

Well, the abusive methods you are using now aren't working, or you
wouldn't be here asking us how to solve your problems, now, would you?
Squirting and yelling do nothing to train a cat, except to teach it
that it cannot trust you - leading to further anxiety.


that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have
any other constructive advice.

Stop abusing your cat. Megan's advice is spot-on. She's been in
animal rescue for years and is quite knowledgeable about behavior
modification.

And when you get fed up with your cat and dump him at a shelter after
your baby comes, it will be the Megans of the world who rescue him and
rehome him. So, heed her advice, and quit being PO'ed at her for
stating the obvious.

-L.

"jjmoreta" wrote in message ...
wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him, chasing
him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have figured out)
and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping with
you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that suddenly
taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely and cruelly
for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and wrong. If this were
a child I would hope you would approach this with KINDNESS and
UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that eases his anxieties
about the change and use positive measures to make the change easier.
I would suggest that you make the hour before bedtime a special time
for you and your cat. Play with him, snuggle him and give him lots of
attention. Give him that to look forward to as an alternative to
sleeping with you at night. You should also, for now, put a tall
scratching post next to your door. Once you go to bed, don't respond
to his scratching the door AT ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing
him, no yelling, no squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop
getting up and negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats
will sometimes settle for negative attention rather than nothing at
all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a response
to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and settle down
for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a cat to do what
you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several weeks since
I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with a baby on the way.
He gets attention from the moment I get up until the moment I get to bed,
and usually most of it comes at night (when my husband comes home from
work). And to be completely honest, the more attention he gets during the
day, the worse he scratches at night.

Because he is suffering separation anxiety. He feels neglected.

He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes that he
is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what. If I was a
cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but I
don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and I can
never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal, with animal
instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He will never have
powers of reason.

You don't understand cats at all.

And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my husband's
asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get rid of our cats
altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place where we spend a third
of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe regularly but that only works
so far) When I was a little girl, my parents had to get rid of my cat
because of my brother's allergies and asthma and it still scars me to this
day.

My husband married me and my two dogs and two cats - all of which he
is allergic to. You find ways to make it work for everyone. Megan
gave you the solution. Read her suggestions again.



I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've tried
several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a very large cat,
and his scratching at the door is actually more pounding, like someone is
knocking. I can't drown it out with fan white noise or the stereo (if I
turn it up enough, then I can't sleep anyways). He has never been
interested in scratching posts, even before he was declawed.

Oh great. Declawed. Figures.

A cat tree and scratching posts are not the same thing. What this cat
needs is a tall cat tree near the area of your bedroom. He also needs
other distractions to keep him occupied at night, like interactive
toys. He needs special attention before bedtime - and play
time/interaction that will tire him out. Feliaway may also be
effective at calming him at night.


He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals are like
children is that they all have individual personalities and respond
differently.

I feel sorry for your cats.

We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and because he
is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems getting him to see
how his life has changed, and will remain changed. God I wish I could
accomplish everything by being sweet and kind, but that has never worked,

Well, the abusive methods you are using now aren't working, or you
wouldn't be here asking us how to solve your problems, now, would you?
Squirting and yelling do nothing to train a cat, except to teach it
that it cannot trust you - leading to further anxiety.


that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you don't have
any other constructive advice.

Stop abusing your cat. Megan's advice is spot-on. She's been in
animal rescue for years and is quite knowledgeable about behavior
modification.

And when you get fed up with your cat and dump him at a shelter after
your baby comes, it will be the Megans of the world who rescue him and
rehome him. So, heed her advice, and quit being PO'ed at her for
stating the obvious.

-L.

-L. wrote:
"jjmoreta" wrote in message
...
wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him,
chasing him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have
figured out) and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping
with you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that
suddenly taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely
and cruelly for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and
wrong. If this were a child I would hope you would approach this
with KINDNESS and UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that
eases his anxieties about the change and use positive measures to
make the change easier. I would suggest that you make the hour
before bedtime a special time for you and your cat. Play with him,
snuggle him and give him lots of attention. Give him that to look
forward to as an alternative to sleeping with you at night. You
should also, for now, put a tall scratching post next to your door.
Once you go to bed, don't respond to his scratching the door AT
ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing him, no yelling, no
squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop getting up and
negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats will sometimes
settle for negative attention rather than nothing at all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a
response to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and
settle down for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a
cat to do what you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several
weeks since I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with
a baby on the way. He gets attention from the moment I get up until
the moment I get to bed, and usually most of it comes at night (when
my husband comes home from work). And to be completely honest, the
more attention he gets during the day, the worse he scratches at
night.

Because he is suffering separation anxiety. He feels neglected.

I KNOW THAT he is feeling neglected. But I made this choice first of all
because I was worried about a 25lb cat crawling into the crib (one side
dropped attached to the bed so easy access). If it was just because my
baby, he would be allowed back in once the baby could move around on its
own. But since we have made this choice, my husband has been able to
decrease his allergy and asthma medicine dosage and feels and breathes
better every morning, so I will not reverse my decision on that.

He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes
that he is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what.
If I was a cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him
completely, but I don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and
I can never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal,
with animal instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He
will never have powers of reason.

You don't understand cats at all.

I never claimed to understand them 100%. That's why I'm trying to find ways
to persuade him to give up on this. Our other cat doesn't have a problem
with this whatsoever. He doesn't behave any differently once we're up and
about and gets lots of attention. I know that he will only truly be happy
with the door open, but I made my decision and that's how it is.

And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my
husband's asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get
rid of our cats altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place
where we spend a third of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe
regularly but that only works so far) When I was a little girl, my
parents had to get rid of my cat because of my brother's allergies
and asthma and it still scars me to this day.

My husband married me and my two dogs and two cats - all of which he
is allergic to. You find ways to make it work for everyone. Megan
gave you the solution. Read her suggestions again.

And does it not sound like we found a solution that would work? Bathing
them with regular shampoo, no-wet shampoo, and even Allerpet hasn't helped
significantly. Keeping the cats out of the bedroom, that has been the best
thing in months for his allergies! And he wasn't as allergic to them when
we got them. This has become a worsening problem, we don't know why and we
can't afford a trip to the allergy doctor to ask. I just can't do what my
parents did and take him to some farm somewhere to die of loneliness (which
happened to my Snuggles, the most loyal rumpy Manx cat in the universe)

I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've
tried several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a
very large cat, and his scratching at the door is actually more
pounding, like someone is knocking. I can't drown it out with fan
white noise or the stereo (if I turn it up enough, then I can't
sleep anyways). He has never been interested in scratching posts,
even before he was declawed.

Oh great. Declawed. Figures.

Which I did a lot of research on and found a vet who only excises the claw.
My cats are not missing parts of their toes and have none of the problems
usually cited. But it doesn't matter anyways and I won't debate it because
declawing arguments always turn into circular arguments.

A cat tree and scratching posts are not the same thing. What this cat
needs is a tall cat tree near the area of your bedroom. He also needs
other distractions to keep him occupied at night, like interactive
toys. He needs special attention before bedtime - and play
time/interaction that will tire him out. Feliaway may also be
effective at calming him at night.

There is nothing near the area of our bedroom. We have a hallway and at the
end is the master bedroom. We also have a bathroom right off of the
hallway. There is no room for a tree in either the hallway or the bathroom.
We have a large variety of toys that he doesn't really like to play with.
His favorite toys are milk rings and laser pointers, with which he gets
exercised every night (laser pointers work better when its dark in the
house).

Tiring him out is not an issue because he currently has a weight problem I'm
also worried about and doesn't get a lot of activity to begin with. He
needs to be on a diet because the neverending-bowl-of-food which my
husband's family raised several cats on doesn't work for him. I am starting
to replace his normal food with diet food. I want to go to thrice daily
feedings, but I don't want to make things any more difficult to adjust to.
I'll see how the diet food and exercise works and then we'll go to separate
feedings AFTER the baby and all the houseguests.

We are considering Feliway, which I asked about originally and no one ever
commented on. I've heard of it, but never used it.

I don't like yelling at Luna. I don't like squirting him. But my sleep is
so disturbed right now as it is that I cannot endure the pounding. Ignoring
it did not work. I already explained that white noise and earplugs don't
work. He has toys available everywhere (that I usually step on if I'm up in
the middle of the night) and another cat for companionship. I know Mina is
no substitute for us, but I want to make this work for both of us.

He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals
are like children is that they all have individual personalities and
respond differently.

I feel sorry for your cats.

Which is perfectly okay. I feel bad for Luna that he's at the short end of
this, but change happens sometimes.

We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and
because he is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems
getting him to see how his life has changed, and will remain
changed. God I wish I could accomplish everything by being sweet
and kind, but that has never worked,

Well, the abusive methods you are using now aren't working, or you
wouldn't be here asking us how to solve your problems, now, would you?
Squirting and yelling do nothing to train a cat, except to teach it
that it cannot trust you - leading to further anxiety.

When I yell at him, that's usually because I'm in bed and he's on the other
side of the door. Out of the bedroom, I don't need to yell. As for
squirting, I don't know what to say. Every cat owner I've known has used it
with good success to train cats from not doing it. I guess the people who
stand outside their front doors and squirt their cats with super soakers so
they won't run out into danger are horrible abusers too. Or the ones who
squirt to keep them off counters.

I guess we have different standards. I would be abusing him if I was
starving him or kicking him or, well I don't know how else people abuse
cats, but that would be more like it. Squirting, no. Yelling is
borderline, and I'm going to try and stop it. Denying him entry into one
room of the house is not abuse. Its rough because he's never had to deal
with it before, but there have been situations with other rooms he hasn't
been allowed into (like a basement) and he learned to deal with.

that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you
don't have any other constructive advice.

Stop abusing your cat. Megan's advice is spot-on. She's been in
animal rescue for years and is quite knowledgeable about behavior
modification.

And when you get fed up with your cat and dump him at a shelter after
your baby comes, it will be the Megans of the world who rescue him and
rehome him. So, heed her advice, and quit being PO'ed at her for
stating the obvious.

-L.

Well do you think he would be happier without us? Nevermind, you'd probably
say yes.

If getting rid of him was an issue, he would be gone months ago, or I would
just let him be an outside cat like he wants and get hit by a car like all
the other cats around here seem to be.

What you both are missing is that I TRIED that advice and it doesn't work.
Luna is getting tons of attention, and like I've said, the more attention he
gets, the worse he gets with the pounding on the door. I can't ignore the
pounding. That's what I mean by constructive advice. All you've done is
called me an abuser and pointed out methods I've tried and haven't worked
(and by the way, will not work now because we did give up a few weeks ago
and opened the door to squirt him - from what I've read on here, he won't
give up now). If I loved yelling and squirting him I never would have never
have bothered posting here. No wonder so many cats get dropped off if the
advice is this useless.

We're trying the duct tape method today and I'm going to just buy the
Feliway next time I'm by the Petco, just to try it.

- Joanne

-L. wrote:
"jjmoreta" wrote in message
...
wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him,
chasing him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have
figured out) and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping
with you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that
suddenly taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely
and cruelly for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and
wrong. If this were a child I would hope you would approach this
with KINDNESS and UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that
eases his anxieties about the change and use positive measures to
make the change easier. I would suggest that you make the hour
before bedtime a special time for you and your cat. Play with him,
snuggle him and give him lots of attention. Give him that to look
forward to as an alternative to sleeping with you at night. You
should also, for now, put a tall scratching post next to your door.
Once you go to bed, don't respond to his scratching the door AT
ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing him, no yelling, no
squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop getting up and
negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats will sometimes
settle for negative attention rather than nothing at all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a
response to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and
settle down for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a
cat to do what you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several
weeks since I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with
a baby on the way. He gets attention from the moment I get up until
the moment I get to bed, and usually most of it comes at night (when
my husband comes home from work). And to be completely honest, the
more attention he gets during the day, the worse he scratches at
night.

Because he is suffering separation anxiety. He feels neglected.

I KNOW THAT he is feeling neglected. But I made this choice first of all
because I was worried about a 25lb cat crawling into the crib (one side
dropped attached to the bed so easy access). If it was just because my
baby, he would be allowed back in once the baby could move around on its
own. But since we have made this choice, my husband has been able to
decrease his allergy and asthma medicine dosage and feels and breathes
better every morning, so I will not reverse my decision on that.

He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes
that he is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what.
If I was a cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him
completely, but I don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and
I can never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal,
with animal instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He
will never have powers of reason.

You don't understand cats at all.

I never claimed to understand them 100%. That's why I'm trying to find ways
to persuade him to give up on this. Our other cat doesn't have a problem
with this whatsoever. He doesn't behave any differently once we're up and
about and gets lots of attention. I know that he will only truly be happy
with the door open, but I made my decision and that's how it is.

And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my
husband's asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get
rid of our cats altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place
where we spend a third of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe
regularly but that only works so far) When I was a little girl, my
parents had to get rid of my cat because of my brother's allergies
and asthma and it still scars me to this day.

My husband married me and my two dogs and two cats - all of which he
is allergic to. You find ways to make it work for everyone. Megan
gave you the solution. Read her suggestions again.

And does it not sound like we found a solution that would work? Bathing
them with regular shampoo, no-wet shampoo, and even Allerpet hasn't helped
significantly. Keeping the cats out of the bedroom, that has been the best
thing in months for his allergies! And he wasn't as allergic to them when
we got them. This has become a worsening problem, we don't know why and we
can't afford a trip to the allergy doctor to ask. I just can't do what my
parents did and take him to some farm somewhere to die of loneliness (which
happened to my Snuggles, the most loyal rumpy Manx cat in the universe)

I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've
tried several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a
very large cat, and his scratching at the door is actually more
pounding, like someone is knocking. I can't drown it out with fan
white noise or the stereo (if I turn it up enough, then I can't
sleep anyways). He has never been interested in scratching posts,
even before he was declawed.

Oh great. Declawed. Figures.

Which I did a lot of research on and found a vet who only excises the claw.
My cats are not missing parts of their toes and have none of the problems
usually cited. But it doesn't matter anyways and I won't debate it because
declawing arguments always turn into circular arguments.

A cat tree and scratching posts are not the same thing. What this cat
needs is a tall cat tree near the area of your bedroom. He also needs
other distractions to keep him occupied at night, like interactive
toys. He needs special attention before bedtime - and play
time/interaction that will tire him out. Feliaway may also be
effective at calming him at night.

There is nothing near the area of our bedroom. We have a hallway and at the
end is the master bedroom. We also have a bathroom right off of the
hallway. There is no room for a tree in either the hallway or the bathroom.
We have a large variety of toys that he doesn't really like to play with.
His favorite toys are milk rings and laser pointers, with which he gets
exercised every night (laser pointers work better when its dark in the
house).

Tiring him out is not an issue because he currently has a weight problem I'm
also worried about and doesn't get a lot of activity to begin with. He
needs to be on a diet because the neverending-bowl-of-food which my
husband's family raised several cats on doesn't work for him. I am starting
to replace his normal food with diet food. I want to go to thrice daily
feedings, but I don't want to make things any more difficult to adjust to.
I'll see how the diet food and exercise works and then we'll go to separate
feedings AFTER the baby and all the houseguests.

We are considering Feliway, which I asked about originally and no one ever
commented on. I've heard of it, but never used it.

I don't like yelling at Luna. I don't like squirting him. But my sleep is
so disturbed right now as it is that I cannot endure the pounding. Ignoring
it did not work. I already explained that white noise and earplugs don't
work. He has toys available everywhere (that I usually step on if I'm up in
the middle of the night) and another cat for companionship. I know Mina is
no substitute for us, but I want to make this work for both of us.

He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals
are like children is that they all have individual personalities and
respond differently.

I feel sorry for your cats.

Which is perfectly okay. I feel bad for Luna that he's at the short end of
this, but change happens sometimes.

We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and
because he is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems
getting him to see how his life has changed, and will remain
changed. God I wish I could accomplish everything by being sweet
and kind, but that has never worked,

Well, the abusive methods you are using now aren't working, or you
wouldn't be here asking us how to solve your problems, now, would you?
Squirting and yelling do nothing to train a cat, except to teach it
that it cannot trust you - leading to further anxiety.

When I yell at him, that's usually because I'm in bed and he's on the other
side of the door. Out of the bedroom, I don't need to yell. As for
squirting, I don't know what to say. Every cat owner I've known has used it
with good success to train cats from not doing it. I guess the people who
stand outside their front doors and squirt their cats with super soakers so
they won't run out into danger are horrible abusers too. Or the ones who
squirt to keep them off counters.

I guess we have different standards. I would be abusing him if I was
starving him or kicking him or, well I don't know how else people abuse
cats, but that would be more like it. Squirting, no. Yelling is
borderline, and I'm going to try and stop it. Denying him entry into one
room of the house is not abuse. Its rough because he's never had to deal
with it before, but there have been situations with other rooms he hasn't
been allowed into (like a basement) and he learned to deal with.

that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you
don't have any other constructive advice.

Stop abusing your cat. Megan's advice is spot-on. She's been in
animal rescue for years and is quite knowledgeable about behavior
modification.

And when you get fed up with your cat and dump him at a shelter after
your baby comes, it will be the Megans of the world who rescue him and
rehome him. So, heed her advice, and quit being PO'ed at her for
stating the obvious.

-L.

Well do you think he would be happier without us? Nevermind, you'd probably
say yes.

If getting rid of him was an issue, he would be gone months ago, or I would
just let him be an outside cat like he wants and get hit by a car like all
the other cats around here seem to be.

What you both are missing is that I TRIED that advice and it doesn't work.
Luna is getting tons of attention, and like I've said, the more attention he
gets, the worse he gets with the pounding on the door. I can't ignore the
pounding. That's what I mean by constructive advice. All you've done is
called me an abuser and pointed out methods I've tried and haven't worked
(and by the way, will not work now because we did give up a few weeks ago
and opened the door to squirt him - from what I've read on here, he won't
give up now). If I loved yelling and squirting him I never would have never
have bothered posting here. No wonder so many cats get dropped off if the
advice is this useless.

We're trying the duct tape method today and I'm going to just buy the
Feliway next time I'm by the Petco, just to try it.

- Joanne

-L. wrote:
"jjmoreta" wrote in message
...
wrote:
snip
First of all, stop being so mean to your cat. Yelling at him,
chasing him and squirting him will not work (as you seem to have
figured out) and it's abusive.

This poor cat has, until recently, spent his whole life sleeping
with you and cuddling, and it stands to reason that having that
suddenly taken away is upsetting to him. Punishing him so severely
and cruelly for what is an appropriate reaction is unfair and
wrong. If this were a child I would hope you would approach this
with KINDNESS and UNDERSTANDING, and work with him in a way that
eases his anxieties about the change and use positive measures to
make the change easier. I would suggest that you make the hour
before bedtime a special time for you and your cat. Play with him,
snuggle him and give him lots of attention. Give him that to look
forward to as an alternative to sleeping with you at night. You
should also, for now, put a tall scratching post next to your door.
Once you go to bed, don't respond to his scratching the door AT
ALL. No getting out of bed and chasing him, no yelling, no
squirting. Wear earplugs if you must, but stop getting up and
negatively reacting to him. Just like children, cats will sometimes
settle for negative attention rather than nothing at all.
It may take a few days or more, but if your cat doesn't get a
response to his scratching behavior he will stop the scratching and
settle down for the night. Just remember that the key to getting a
cat to do what you want is to BE KIND.

Megan

You think that I've gone to ignoring him completely? You couldn't be
further from the truth. Actually I've been at home for several
weeks since I was between jobs and not about to start a new one with
a baby on the way. He gets attention from the moment I get up until
the moment I get to bed, and usually most of it comes at night (when
my husband comes home from work). And to be completely honest, the
more attention he gets during the day, the worse he scratches at
night.

Because he is suffering separation anxiety. He feels neglected.

I KNOW THAT he is feeling neglected. But I made this choice first of all
because I was worried about a 25lb cat crawling into the crib (one side
dropped attached to the bed so easy access). If it was just because my
baby, he would be allowed back in once the baby could move around on its
own. But since we have made this choice, my husband has been able to
decrease his allergy and asthma medicine dosage and feels and breathes
better every morning, so I will not reverse my decision on that.

He does not separate love he gets
during the day from wanting to be in our room at night. He believes
that he is entitled to both as much as he wants to, no matter what.
If I was a cruel person, the easy thing to do would be to ignore him
completely, but I don't.

But the problem is that as much as I love him, HE ISN'T A CHILD, and
I can never treat him as though he were human. He is an animal,
with animal instincts. He lives in the moment from day-to-day. He
will never have powers of reason.

You don't understand cats at all.

I never claimed to understand them 100%. That's why I'm trying to find ways
to persuade him to give up on this. Our other cat doesn't have a problem
with this whatsoever. He doesn't behave any differently once we're up and
about and gets lots of attention. I know that he will only truly be happy
with the door open, but I made my decision and that's how it is.

And most of all, I would be highly surprised if I ever
became allergic to my child. What is honestly better? That my
husband's asthma and allergies degenerate to the point that we get
rid of our cats altogether, or we make a compromise to keep a place
where we spend a third of our day fur and dander free? (we do bathe
regularly but that only works so far) When I was a little girl, my
parents had to get rid of my cat because of my brother's allergies
and asthma and it still scars me to this day.

My husband married me and my two dogs and two cats - all of which he
is allergic to. You find ways to make it work for everyone. Megan
gave you the solution. Read her suggestions again.

And does it not sound like we found a solution that would work? Bathing
them with regular shampoo, no-wet shampoo, and even Allerpet hasn't helped
significantly. Keeping the cats out of the bedroom, that has been the best
thing in months for his allergies! And he wasn't as allergic to them when
we got them. This has become a worsening problem, we don't know why and we
can't afford a trip to the allergy doctor to ask. I just can't do what my
parents did and take him to some farm somewhere to die of loneliness (which
happened to my Snuggles, the most loyal rumpy Manx cat in the universe)

I have tried ignoring him, and earplugs do not work for me (I've
tried several in the past and they all irritate my ears). He is a
very large cat, and his scratching at the door is actually more
pounding, like someone is knocking. I can't drown it out with fan
white noise or the stereo (if I turn it up enough, then I can't
sleep anyways). He has never been interested in scratching posts,
even before he was declawed.

Oh great. Declawed. Figures.

Which I did a lot of research on and found a vet who only excises the claw.
My cats are not missing parts of their toes and have none of the problems
usually cited. But it doesn't matter anyways and I won't debate it because
declawing arguments always turn into circular arguments.

A cat tree and scratching posts are not the same thing. What this cat
needs is a tall cat tree near the area of your bedroom. He also needs
other distractions to keep him occupied at night, like interactive
toys. He needs special attention before bedtime - and play
time/interaction that will tire him out. Feliaway may also be
effective at calming him at night.

There is nothing near the area of our bedroom. We have a hallway and at the
end is the master bedroom. We also have a bathroom right off of the
hallway. There is no room for a tree in either the hallway or the bathroom.
We have a large variety of toys that he doesn't really like to play with.
His favorite toys are milk rings and laser pointers, with which he gets
exercised every night (laser pointers work better when its dark in the
house).

Tiring him out is not an issue because he currently has a weight problem I'm
also worried about and doesn't get a lot of activity to begin with. He
needs to be on a diet because the neverending-bowl-of-food which my
husband's family raised several cats on doesn't work for him. I am starting
to replace his normal food with diet food. I want to go to thrice daily
feedings, but I don't want to make things any more difficult to adjust to.
I'll see how the diet food and exercise works and then we'll go to separate
feedings AFTER the baby and all the houseguests.

We are considering Feliway, which I asked about originally and no one ever
commented on. I've heard of it, but never used it.

I don't like yelling at Luna. I don't like squirting him. But my sleep is
so disturbed right now as it is that I cannot endure the pounding. Ignoring
it did not work. I already explained that white noise and earplugs don't
work. He has toys available everywhere (that I usually step on if I'm up in
the middle of the night) and another cat for companionship. I know Mina is
no substitute for us, but I want to make this work for both of us.

He does like
rubbing his paws on clothes baskets, though.

I wish I had the cats you must have, but about the only way animals
are like children is that they all have individual personalities and
respond differently.

I feel sorry for your cats.

Which is perfectly okay. I feel bad for Luna that he's at the short end of
this, but change happens sometimes.

We don't have ANY problem with our youngest cat and she is
perfectly adjusted to the situation. Luna refuses to adjust and
because he is a cat and responds like cats do, we're having problems
getting him to see how his life has changed, and will remain
changed. God I wish I could accomplish everything by being sweet
and kind, but that has never worked,

Well, the abusive methods you are using now aren't working, or you
wouldn't be here asking us how to solve your problems, now, would you?
Squirting and yelling do nothing to train a cat, except to teach it
that it cannot trust you - leading to further anxiety.

When I yell at him, that's usually because I'm in bed and he's on the other
side of the door. Out of the bedroom, I don't need to yell. As for
squirting, I don't know what to say. Every cat owner I've known has used it
with good success to train cats from not doing it. I guess the people who
stand outside their front doors and squirt their cats with super soakers so
they won't run out into danger are horrible abusers too. Or the ones who
squirt to keep them off counters.

I guess we have different standards. I would be abusing him if I was
starving him or kicking him or, well I don't know how else people abuse
cats, but that would be more like it. Squirting, no. Yelling is
borderline, and I'm going to try and stop it. Denying him entry into one
room of the house is not abuse. Its rough because he's never had to deal
with it before, but there have been situations with other rooms he hasn't
been allowed into (like a basement) and he learned to deal with.

that's not how my situation is, so get off of your soapbox if you
don't have any other constructive advice.

Stop abusing your cat. Megan's advice is spot-on. She's been in
animal rescue for years and is quite knowledgeable about behavior
modification.

And when you get fed up with your cat and dump him at a shelter after
your baby comes, it will be the Megans of the world who rescue him and
rehome him. So, heed her advice, and quit being PO'ed at her for
stating the obvious.

-L.

Well do you think he would be happier without us? Nevermind, you'd probably
say yes.

If getting rid of him was an issue, he would be gone months ago, or I would
just let him be an outside cat like he wants and get hit by a car like all
the other cats around here seem to be.

What you both are missing is that I TRIED that advice and it doesn't work.
Luna is getting tons of attention, and like I've said, the more attention he
gets, the worse he gets with the pounding on the door. I can't ignore the
pounding. That's what I mean by constructive advice. All you've done is
called me an abuser and pointed out methods I've tried and haven't worked
(and by the way, will not work now because we did give up a few weeks ago
and opened the door to squirt him - from what I've read on here, he won't
give up now). If I loved yelling and squirting him I never would have never
have bothered posting here. No wonder so many cats get dropped off if the
advice is this useless.

We're trying the duct tape method today and I'm going to just buy the
Feliway next time I'm by the Petco, just to try it.

- Joanne

in article , jjmoreta at
wrote on 9/17/03 11:02 PM:

Which I did a lot of research on and found a vet who only excises the claw.

I'm sorry if you really believe this. There is no "excising the claw". And a
vet who would tell you that is truly untrustworthy. You can write to Cornell
if you want, but there simply is no other way of declawing the cat besides
cutting the toe off at the first joint or you risk the claw growing back and
major complications. The vet just told you what you wanted to hear, not the
truth.

Karen