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Very shy cat...I need help



 
 
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  #1  
Old January 28th 09, 03:38 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
bertoiaj
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Posts: 5
Default Very shy cat...I need help

I have a unique problem. I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
move into his house and he did befriend her.) I already have a
cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not
look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
Recommendations?
  #2  
Old January 28th 09, 04:17 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
honeybunch
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Posts: 154
Default Very shy cat...I need help

On Jan 27, 9:38*pm, bertoiaj wrote:
I have a unique problem. *I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
move into his house and he did befriend her.) * * I already have a
cat...another female three years old. *It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. *I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. * * * *So, it does not
look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. * The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. * ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
Recommendations?


I suggest you move into the spare room.
  #3  
Old January 28th 09, 07:16 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Gandalf
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Posts: 1,403
Default Very shy cat...I need help

On Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:17:19 -0800 (PST), honeybunch
wrote:

On Jan 27, 9:38*pm, bertoiaj wrote:
I have a unique problem. *I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
move into his house and he did befriend her.) * * I already have a
cat...another female three years old. *It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. *I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. * * * *So, it does not
look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. * The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. * ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
Recommendations?


I suggest you move into the spare room.


I would go one step further, and move the cat into your bedroom.

Remember to keep her food and water dishes as far from the litter box as
possible.

She may get more used to you, while you are sleeping, and are not a
threat of any kind to her.

Someday, you may wake up and find her on the bed with you.

  #4  
Old January 28th 09, 12:44 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
[email protected]
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Posts: 126
Default Very shy cat...I need help

On Jan 27, 9:38*pm, bertoiaj wrote:
I have a unique problem. *I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
move into his house and he did befriend her.) * * I already have a
cat...another female three years old. *It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. *I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. * * * *So, it does not
look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. * The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. * ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
Recommendations?


I had a feral cat that lived with me for three months unseen - perfect
litter habits, ate like a trooper but only when no one was home.

Then, one night, there was a cold nose in my face and very, very loud
purrs. From that moment he was one of the most affectionate cats I
have ever had. That was 30 years ago but he will be long-remembered.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA
  #5  
Old January 28th 09, 04:36 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Poe
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Posts: 50
Default Very shy cat...I need help

bertoiaj wrote:
I have a unique problem. I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
move into his house and he did befriend her.) I already have a
cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not
look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
Recommendations?



This takes patience. I worked at a shelter and adopted a scared cat from
there who lived under a blanket all day every day like that for months.
I gradually got her to come out of her shell but it's a gradual process.

You might try using catnip to get her to come out from under the bed, or
some really yummy stinky food like tuna will draw her out for a bit - or
maybe carry her around the house in your arms so she gets used to going
out of the bedroom. Maybe carry her into your room and place her on the
bed to be petted and brushed, even if after you let go she runs back,
she'll start getting familiar with other places.

I'd just keep at it but don't expect miracles. I am not a cat behavior
expert, but I am not sure I'd shut her out of the spare room entirely,
at least not for any length of time. It sounds like she feels safe
there. December isn't very long ago - the process of drawing a timid cat
out of its shell can take years based on what I've seen, and the process
is gradual. I wouldn't force the cats to be together. Cats will do that
in their own time, or not. I have had cats live their entire lives
hating each other's guts :-/ On the up-side, I think they secretly enjoy
starling at each other and copping attitudes!

  #6  
Old January 28th 09, 04:40 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Poe
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Posts: 50
Default Very shy cat...I need help

Poe wrote:

starling at each other and copping attitudes!



Err.. I meant "snarling" at each other. I think they'd like starling
too, though, for a snack ;-)
  #7  
Old January 28th 09, 05:00 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Spot[_2_]
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Posts: 98
Default Very shy cat...I need help

I had a shy cat years ago that was very aloof with my other two, didn't like
petted and hid anytime anyone came by. I had to moved and gave her to my
sister and her personality came out. She went from being shy to being a
pushy loving cat. She did so much better by herself as a lone cat in the
household. Maybe she should be in a one cat household. I would look to
rehome her in a home with maybe an elderly couple.

Celeste



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"bertoiaj" wrote in message
...
I have a unique problem. I was given a 5 year old neutered female cat
from a relative who got remarried and his wife is allergic to cats.
He warned me that she was very timid (she used to be feral but did
move into his house and he did befriend her.) I already have a
cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not
look like the two girls are going to be making friends soon...I did
have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?
Recommendations?



  #8  
Old January 28th 09, 08:18 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Rene S.
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Posts: 741
Default Very shy cat...I need help

*It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. *


I have a friend who is very experienced (and successful) at
socializing scared/feral cats. I ran this scenario by her. Her advice
is to a) Take the bed off the frame, so the cat doesn't have an
inaccessable place to hide. b) get the cat an alternative space, such
as a box turned on its side with the flap down with some towels
inside. The cat will still have a safe place to hide but you will have
easier access to her. c) NEVER leave food out. Feed this cat a canned
diet on a 12 hour schedule. Right now, this cat really doesn't need
you for anything. It has a place to hide, access to food at all times,
and has no reason to come out and interact with you. You'd be amazed
how quickly cats can come around once they realize you equal a good
meal. d) Make a point of spending time in the room in a non-
threatening way, such as reading, watching tv, softly talking to her,
etc. so the cat learns that your presence is not a threat. e) Leave a
radio on softly with a classical music station. f) Patience. Some of
these cats can take months, sometimes even a year, to make good
progress. There is no rush. Take it slowly.
  #9  
Old January 28th 09, 10:07 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Richard Evans
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Posts: 103
Default Very shy cat...I need help

"Rene S." wrote:

*It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I
got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. *


I have a friend who is very experienced (and successful) at
socializing scared/feral cats. I ran this scenario by her. Her advice
is to a) Take the bed off the frame, so the cat doesn't have an
inaccessable place to hide. b) get the cat an alternative space, such
as a box turned on its side with the flap down with some towels
inside. The cat will still have a safe place to hide but you will have
easier access to her. c) NEVER leave food out. Feed this cat a canned
diet on a 12 hour schedule.



In addition, stay in the room while she comes out to eat. Keep
whatever distance she's comfortable with. As days go by, move closer
to her as she eats. Eventually, you want to end up with her eating
from the food bowl in your lap.
  #10  
Old January 28th 09, 11:26 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
cshenk
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Posts: 2,427
Default Very shy cat...I need help

"bertoiaj" wrote

cat...another female three years old. It was thought that the two
girls would become friends an keep each other company....but since I


Not so fast, especially if she or your other cat are 'only cats'. That
means one who prefers to be the only cat in the house. My adoptive cat
Daisy is like that and we knew it in advance from the shelter when we picked
her.

Daisy will tolerate another cat at a distance, but thats it. Weirdly, she
bonds to dogs so I got a cat and dog, sleeping in sin together.

got the new cat in late December she has been living in a spare room
under a bed....she eats and uses the litter box, but whenever I enter
the room she is hidden under the bed. I have gotten her out a number
of times and she purrs and does like to be petted and brushed, but the
moment I let go of her she hides under the bed. So, it does not


Give her time. This can take at least 3 months. That she comes out for
you, is a good sign.

Daisy was a no-see'um cat for 3 weeks. Then, she came out one night to paw
my lap. Next night, we saw her playing with the dog but she ran when we
came in for another month.

A year later, she bitches at me if I don't go to bed when she wants me to be
there to make the bed warmer. Huffs off and curls up with the dog....

I agree that you've given her little need to walk out as of yet, but I see
no need to rush it by dismantling 'her hidy hole'. I also don't see picking
her up and walking around with her, unless she tolerates that well. Daisy
still can not be picked up. If your new lady does tolerate that, then it's
fine to do so.

have them in the same room together the other night...my cat was not
pleased...and hissed and growled. The new cat just hid under a
coffee table. ( I live alone and work until 5 each day,so I have
limited time to spend with the cats.


Let them work it out without forcing it. It seems to me you have a
'dominance issue' which is not abnormal. The new cat hiding this long means
'uncle' or 'I give' but the pre-existing one will occasionally remind the
new one 'I'm Boss Cat'.

So I am at a loss....I want the new cat to have a better quality of
life than hiding under the bed 24/7.....any advice?


Time. It was just December you say and this is just late Jan.

When we got Daisy, the foster folks and the adoption agency both said 'you
will not find this cat for 2 months at least and may be longer'.

It did take 3 weeks but after that it was pretty straight forward.

Lets look at it from another view. If you'd been left loose to fend for
yourself in the wild, then found a home, then moved, you might be a bit
hesitant at the start too.

I do agree to start a wet treat twice a day. You have to do this for *both*
of thm though and best not in the same room just yet. Another mentions you
dry feed (I must be blind as not seeing that) so I'll digress on how to
shift that with 2 kitties.

The dominant one will steal the food of the other one, especially at the
start and definately if she can eat it all. You probably should start that
with a closed door between the two then slowly you can shift to feeding them
at opposite corners of the same room but it's gona be a long time before you
can use a 2 feeder bowl for both and it's actually not smart to push that at
all (memories of 2 cats who liked that but most want their *own* dish).

You'd make the first feeding before you go to work. This can be pretty
quick if you need to. Second one after you get home with more petting time
allowed based on your schedule.

Free feeding may be ok, but I'd opt for one free feed bowl between both of
them, and separate water and wet feed. I just know it worked when i
integrated new cats.

BTW, dominance interactions can be interesting if you don't let it get out
of hand. Daisy and Cash have their wet morning and night, and a lunch nosh
of broth with a bit of meat. Same room but she's up high. Reason is he'll
eat her food if he can, but he's more apt to have leftovers and she'll jump
down, push him from his bowl, and grab a kibble (he gets kibble and wet
mixed). This can be pretty amusing when the 'Boss 4foot' is all of 9 lbs
and the 'underling Dog' is a mixed beagle and bull mastiff weighing 54 lbs.



 




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